Pajiba

I got stuck in an elevator once. I was staying with a friend, and her cousin was doing a modelling course, and wanted moral support while she and about 50 other girls in her course did their 'photo shoot'.
The building was ancient and the elevator was fucking tiny. As in, limited to three passengers tiny. Me, my friend, her cousin, and some random fuckwit hanger-on decided to ride it.
Fuckwit gets it in her empty head to jump up and down. First jump, the elevator shuddered. Second time she jumped, it made an awful clunking noise, and stopped.
Remember, it was ancient, so there was no phone, no 'override' button, and to top it off, the fuckwit went straight into screaming hysterics.
On the upside, the screaming got everyone's attention, and they called the fire brigade. It actually didn't take them all that long to get us out, but when we did, well, remember how I said there were 50 teenage would-be models in the place? There was emoting and screeching all over the place, and complete strangers in fifteen kilos of face-paint trying to hug me. After ten minutes, I was about ready to get back in the elevator.
I still twitch when someone decides to jump in those things.

SEE?!

It really wasn't that bad. Thank goodness the people weren't Sharron Angle, Christine O'Donnell, and Rich Iott.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 2, 2010 8:32 PM

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Missed opportunity I say. You could have have gotten a nice Penthouse Forum story out of that...

I got stuck in a small elevator once as a wee pre-teen, with my parents and a regular-sized dude and a really fat dude. The lights went out, too, so we were stuck all squished together in the dark for about an hour.

In the end, we found out that our destination was on the second goddamn floor, and we only took the elevator because the fat dude (our host) didn't wanna walk. That part made me angrier than any of the time spent in the nightmarish pitch black of the elevator itself. ONE FREAKING FLOOR!

I was once stuck in an elevator at a mountain hotel in Slovakia. We were visiting friends, and decided to go to the hotel to use their pool one day. My friend and I, along with my mom I think?, were stuck in an elevator in our swimsuits with three very drunk Slovak guys, who thought it would be hilarious to leer at us and sing "Love in an Elevator".

We were there for a half-hour, and they sang that damn song the whole time like a creepy, creepy mantra.

Yeah, yuk it up, Rusty:

This trivial US election is ANYTHING but "popular"- our "blah blah civic duty" limits us to voting between one of two established, mutually fucked-up 'parties' that we've been enslaved with since the conception of our country.

Vote Libertarian, or Independent, or Green or Rational and THROW YOUR FUCKING VOTE AWAY- it's as inevitable as death and taxes.

And as of this writing, one of those two sickening, disgusting 'parties' that control our thoughts, opinions, our very future as a nation - the republicans currently - are about to win control of the House, upsetting an already defiled and indelicate presupposition that our current President is not acceptable to hold his office or run our country, unlike the former reublican leader who led us to such prosperity and new beginnings at the outset of this new century.

Fuck you and your "blah blah" shit, Rusty - whether we went out and voted today or sat our comfy asses in front of a pc to read YOUR insightful analysis of what they did or didn't miss,

in case you haven't noticed, there's a not-so-civil war going on in our highest offices that will ultimately determine whether or not our 'quaint little independent country' will even continue to exist for you to make snide remarks about on sites like this.

It's painfully obvious why you remain an "Intern" and are given the least-controversial or barely-noticeable "column" to spout your ignorant bullshit about issues you have no intelligent or thoughtful opinion or contribution to add to.

Howzabout you re-name your column 'Pajiba In the Dark', you clueless fuck.

I don't even have TV service so the commercials don't bother me. It's the robo calls every stinking day from one or the other that really make me steam. Here where I live we've had a candidate named Twinkle and another one named Young Boozer. I shit you not. These two teamed up and made their recordings together. And it seems like this year there have been more of them than ever. I've made it a policy to never vote for anyone who calls my phone and uses recordings to spit their rhetoric.

Hahahahahaha abliac needs to take a Midol.

I'm just relieved I no longer have to see 3 million facebook status updates saying "I VOTED, I VOTED, I'M BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE I VOTED, YOU NEED TO VOTE IT'S 9AM WHY HAVEN'T YOU VOTED YET VOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEEEEEEEEEE"

smug assholes.

The Facebook updates saying I voted didn't bother me (I clicked it too after I voted). I don't think it's smug. Especially when I saw in the news this morning that my state only had 49% voter turnout.
Frankly, I pay taxes, so I want to have some say in who I'm paying.
That being said, I'm also relieved it's over. I really hate election time...you can't escape the ridiculous ads which consist of no substance, only soundbites. Even the non-mudslinging ones are terrible. Tell me what you're really going to do in office...quit filling the space with crap about issues for which you will make zero impact.