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This Is Why You're Watching, Right?

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (21)



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I was going to write a longer introduction but my hand hurts so I’m going to go hunt down my nearly empty Advil bottle instead. Sorry. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:

8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC

“I, Predator” on Animal Planet. Series premiere.

“Mysteries at the Museum” on Travel. The commercials make this look interesting, but I remain skeptical. Anyone seen it and have an evaluation? And I am the kind of person who likes museums but hates “The DaVinci Code”.

“NCIS” on CBS

“No Ordinary Family” on ABC

“Nova: Deadliest Earthquakes” on PBS

9:00pm: “Cupcake Wars” on Food Network

“Dirty Jobs” on Discovery

“Frontline: Battle for Haiti” on PBS

“Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo. Fourth season finale.

“Mysteries at the Museum” on Travel. First season finale.

“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS

“Ramsay’s Best Restaurant” on BBCA

“V” on ABC. Really? This survived? Huh, well I guess that’s good news for Morena Baccarin.

“What Not to Wear” on TLC

“Million Dollar Money Drop” on Fox

10:00pm: “Auction Kings” on Discovery

“Chopped” on Food Network

“Detroit 187” on ABC

“The Fashion Show” on Bravo

“The Game” on BET. Fourth season premiere.

“Glory Daze” on TBS

“The Good Wife” on CBS

“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV. This title bugs me to an nearly irrational degree for reasons I can’t articulate.

“Independent Lens: Children of Haiti” on PBS

“Lights Out” on FX. Series premiere. It’s like that movie you keep hearing about but not as good and in the comfort of your own home!

“Parenthood” on NBC

“Teen Mom” on MTV. Third season premiere.

“Tosh.0” on Comedy Central. Third season premiere.

10:30pm: “Onion Sportsdome” on Comedy Central. Series premiere.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Vince Vaughn, Mike Wolfe & Frank Fritz, and Cage the Elephant

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Bill Maher, Melissa McCarthy, and the Duke Spirit

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Channing Tatum, Mamie Gummer, and A Day to Remember

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Paula Abdul and Dave Attell

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Jennifer Connelly, Jerry O’Connell, and Tom Tom Club

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Colin Firth

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Chris Hughes

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Zach Gilford, Jo Koy, Randy Sklar, and Sarah Colonna

“Conan” on TBS featuring Javier Bardem, Rashida Jones, and Steel Train

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She promises to stop bitching about her cast at least two days after it’s taken off.









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Comments

Ah, Morena Baccarin. I would have cross-species intercourse with her. She makes that Avatar chick look like a smurf with an eating disorder.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 11, 2011 7:05 PM

Yup.

Posted by: John W at January 11, 2011 7:17 PM

"Ah, Morena Baccarin. I would have cross-species intercourse with her.."

Ah, no you wouldn't, I'm nailing that and we are not into threesomes.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 11, 2011 7:37 PM

Rusty, I broke the metacarpal of my little finger right behind the joint with the proximal phalange. Lotsa fun. Had to get the whole mess wired together. Anyway, try to keep your hand elevated. Adjust your chair height if you have to, but I found leaning forward and putting my elbow on my desk, with my forearm and hand pointing straight up really alleviated most of the throbbing pain.

Well, that and the booze.

Posted by: Groundloop at January 11, 2011 7:39 PM

"Ah, Morena Baccarin. I would have cross-species intercourse with her.."

"Ah, no you wouldn't, I'm nailing that and we are not into threesomes."

I was wondering what I felt jabbing me in the ass while I was boning her. I took a number and decided to cut. Sorry.

Posted by: Fluxion187 at January 11, 2011 7:40 PM

Poor Morena is awfully busy.

Posted by: MM at January 11, 2011 7:44 PM

Wheeeeew! I just sprinted really fast when I heard about the line to bone Morena Baccarin and I apparently was so motivated to get an early ticket for the gang bang that I broke the speed of light and time traveled. I had arrived early to find that I had managed to get first in line but then, mid coitus, I feel something small slithering into my ass. I turn to look and I see myself breathing heavily into my own ear. As if that wasn't bad enough, suddenly I'm in a human fuckapede with BarbadosSlim fucking me while I'm fucking me while I'm fucking Morena. I'm gonna need decades of therapy, and all so I could claim technical Morena firsties...

Posted by: Fluxion187 at January 11, 2011 7:54 PM

Fluxion187, you aren't the only one who's gonna need therapy.

Posted by: Fluxion187 at January 11, 2011 7:56 PM

I just saw a "Firefly" marathon on cable this weekend, and I'd forgotten how much I used to like her. But, now, my hatred for "V" consumes those memories.

Posted by: Jelinas at January 11, 2011 8:03 PM

I don't know what's going on, but I think I want to take it behind the bleachers and get it pregnant.

And, she may be the only reason to watch, but Morena's still not reason enough. The rest of the show is that bad.

Posted by: RobP at January 11, 2011 8:03 PM

Posted by: Fluxion187 at January 11, 2011 7:56 PM

See, it would have been better if you'd posted as Fluxion188. (Or 186, perhaps?)

Posted by: MM at January 11, 2011 8:09 PM

Hold up. I just read that the female "Visitors" engage in sexual cannibalism.

Slim, it looks like you just got slimmer.

I'm taking my pecker over to Supergirl, thank you very much.

By the way, is it too late to add "Sexual Cannibalism" to the list of best fake band names?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 11, 2011 8:18 PM

Now, which alien is hotter?

Laura Vandervoort as Supergirl from Krypton
Laura Vandervoort as Lisa from Sirius 4
Laura Vandervoort as Laura Vandervoort from Canada

Oh! How about if Supergirl, Lisa from V and Laura Vandervoort had a threesome?

If these were topics at Comic Con I would actually go.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 11, 2011 8:27 PM

Morena Baccarin was naked in a movie a while ago. I can't imagine many of us saw it.

Posted by: Brenton at January 11, 2011 9:12 PM

I gave up on V. Sorry, Morena. You were very pretty that time I met you. I wish I could have spoken to you more. Yes, I'm passing on that message that none of the folks making these comments have a shot with you.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 11, 2011 9:44 PM

And I am the kind of person who likes museums but hates “The DaVinci Code”.

That puts you in excellent company, Rusty.

You've been talking about your broken hand, but I don't think you revealed what happened to you. What happened to you?

If it's a long story which will make your hand hurt even further, then by all means, WRITE IT ANYWAY. (Totaly kidding.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 11, 2011 10:48 PM

1) Just watched Downtown Abbey. Whoever said it needs to be on next week's best episodes list is right. Did you hear that, Dustin? That means you actually have to watch it.
2) Mommy and Daddy are fighting on The Good Wife. I don't like it. Owen is always welcome though. Maybe he'll become a regular now that Rubicon is over.
3) David Duchovny is still unspeakably hot. Seriously, I have no words.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 11, 2011 11:19 PM

Oh, and Colin Firth is incredibly hot also. Sorry, baby, didn't mean to leave you out.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 11, 2011 11:46 PM

Good Heavens, Downton Abbey. You definitely cannot forget all your troubles and cares there.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 12, 2011 12:37 AM

How many of these are going to begin "I was going to write , but I'm too sick,hungover, humorous exaggeration, etc."

Posted by: John G. at January 12, 2011 4:19 AM

Most of them.

It's a theme.

Posted by: Kargoyle at January 12, 2011 8:46 AM