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Meet All 7,000 of Your New Roommates!

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (16)

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For someone whose sort of job it is to be aware of all the new TV that’s on each weeknight, it’s really a little embarrassing how frequently I just put on some reruns while doing other things around my apartment. This means that I barely pay attention to TV anymore unless it’s something I really want to watch, it’s sort of like a flickering box of lights that makes my apartment feel not so boring for a little while at a time. Is that weird? Actually, don’t tell me, I really don’t care. Here’s your Monday night TV:

8:00pm: “Antiques Roadshow” on PBS

“The Bachelor” on ABC

“Enough Already with Peter Walsh” on OWN. Okay, so use an anonymous name if you must, but can someone tell me if they’re actually watching anything on OWN? Because if I don’t have to list this shit I won’t. I figured for the first week some of you might be intrigued enough to check it out, but I also know we’re not really an Oprah crowd around these parts. Anyway, if you’re into it, let me know and I’ll keep up with the listings because I’m not the one who has to look an OWN fan in the mirror everyday.

“Inside the Actor’s Studio” on Bravo. Jim Carrey is the guest this week. I hope they’ve got someone with a tranq gun in the wings.

“Lie to Me” on Fox

“Pretty Little Liars” on ABC Family

8:30pm: Tostitos BCS National Championship Game” on ESPN

9:00pm: “The Bad Girls Club” on Oxygen. Sixth season premiere.

“Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” on Food Network

“Greek” on ABC Family

“Intervention” on A&E

“Next Great Baker” on TLC

“U.S Grant: Warrior: American Experience” on PBS

“WWE: RAW” on USA

“You’re Cut Off” on VH1. Second season premiere.

10:00pm: “Castle” on ABC

“Hoarders” on A&E. Third season finale. The commercials have been teasing this episode as feature a guy who hoards rats. If the thought of that just made you gag, you should probably steer clear of this episode and just follow the running commentary on Facebook. I may not be participating this time since the two pounds of fiberglass on my left arm really slows up my typing.

“In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman” on OWN

“Men of a Certain Age” on TNT. Second season winter finale.

“The Opener” on TLC

“Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” on Bravo

“True Life: True Life Goes On” on MTV. Season finale.

“The X Life” on VH1. Series premiere.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Bill Cosby, a Top Ten list presented by Snooki, and the Black Keys. I hear tell that Snooki doesn’t want to go by Snooki anymore since she’s (sort of) an author, but I’ll be damned if I’m typing “Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi” every time she pops up somewhere.

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Seacrest, Steven Tyler, Dan Adhoot, and Diane Birch

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Cameron Diaz, Scott Foley, and the Wombats

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Roseanne Barr and Joe Theismann

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Winona Ryder, Regina King, and Okkervil River

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Denis Leary

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Fen Montaigne

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Sophia Bush, Brad Wollack, Dov Davidoff, and Arden Myrin

“Conan” on TBS featuring Adam Sandler, Donald Glover, and Guster

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She promises to stop bitching about her cast at least two days after it’s taken off.









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Comments

Hey, there is no shame in being a grad student who relies on reruns for companionship. My roommate and I rely on Cash Cab, Scrubs, and Top Chef to keep us from going nuts while we procrastinate about reading.

Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at January 10, 2011 7:18 PM

Random post in between

Amsterdam, Holland, 1:23 in the morning:

Life sucks sometimes,
I miss her.
Why sleep?

Posted by: Magiel at January 10, 2011 7:24 PM

Blah Blah whatEVAR, Attack of the Show, people. The era of Olivia Munn officially ends and the Candace Bailey reign begins. The queen is dead, LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2011 7:49 PM

I am on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about those rats. Seriously. The only worse hoarding option I can imagine is snakes.

"Why does the floor move?"

At least in my home, we only hoard amusing t-shirts, Chipotle receipts, and Real Sugar Dr. Pepper.

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at January 10, 2011 7:57 PM

holy shit! okkervil river? really?

Posted by: sailboat at January 10, 2011 8:10 PM

As someone who's owned pet rats (and it looks like these are what they are, domestic rats, not wild) I'm more horrified at what those poor rats are going through rather than the hoarder. Domestic rats are affectionate, intelligent creatures who clean themselves like cats. To see them running around in filth and breeding like crazy is terrible.

Posted by: Kelly at January 10, 2011 8:45 PM

My wife has a running bet with me, which thus far she is in no danger of losing.

The bet is that we have to watch an episode of "Hoarders" without me wincing or gagging. And it has to be a new episode that I've never seen so as I cannot prepare for it beforehand.

If (when) she wins, I'm stuck doing an extra chore for the week. If I win, I get an otherwise unfulfilled fantasy carried out.

I imagine just on this episode's ads I'll be squealing like a stuck potbelly because when it comes to massive rodent swarming, I have the personal constitution of Winston Smith. So I surmise I'll wind up doing the dishes again. This is what I get for letting other appendages make foolhardy wagers in my brain's stead.

Posted by: bleujayone at January 10, 2011 8:49 PM

THAT'S ALOTTA RATS!

Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 10, 2011 9:36 PM

I leave the TV on as background noise all the time.

Nice, Donald Glover is on Conan. Finally, a guest I actually give a crap about. I'll have to pass on watching Sandler, though.

Posted by: Uda at January 10, 2011 9:45 PM

The other hoarder being featured is a cat hoarder. I see where they're going with this. Just get these two people together: rat problem, solved. Then they just need to find a dog hoarder to take care of the cat problem. After that: tiger hoarder.

Posted by: Lindsay at January 10, 2011 10:12 PM

Lindsay, you are a mad genius.

Posted by: MM at January 10, 2011 10:25 PM

Lindsay, it's also handy because you need progressively fewer animals as you move up the chain. A bazillion rats only need a million cats, who only need a couple thousand dogs, etc., etc., so by the time you get to the end, you only need one Kraken.

Posted by: linny at January 10, 2011 11:11 PM

It's beautiful, like the circle of life.

Posted by: Lindsay at January 10, 2011 11:20 PM

Quit it you guys you're making Kelly, the rat girl, cry.

Posted by: logan at January 11, 2011 9:20 AM

Actually, I'm fairly sure that once you try hoarding a Horse or anything bigger, your stomach splits and then you die. I don't know why.
Or was that 'swallow' rather than 'hoard'

Posted by: Ender at January 11, 2011 9:55 AM

Rat guy was actually somewhat normal. I like domestic rats...we have one, and she's adorable. Doesn't mean I don't poison the little bastard rats that try to live in my attic, but they can make sweet pets.

He felt bad for the rats, and he didn't intend to hoard them, he just didn't know how to stop it when they escaped and started breeding in his walls, and was fine with doing what was best for them.

Cat lady, on the other hand, was nuts.

Posted by: Wednesday at January 11, 2011 11:46 AM