Pajiba After Dark 10/28/09

… Really?

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (57)

It’s World Series Kickoff Wednesday, which means a couple of things. One, television is going to be a little sadder on Wednesday nights for some of us, since “Glee” is going away for the next few weeks. Two, I’m sure there’s a certain amount of animosity that will be seeping into the comments due to the fact that we’ve got commenters on both sides of this fight. Me, I root for the Baltimore Orioles, so I’ve got no stake in this whatsoever (and tend not to watch much baseball because it makes me sad for the fact that my team sucks). But, for those of you who enjoy watching grown men scratch, spit, and occasionally interact with a baseball, have fun.

7:30 p.m.: “World Series Game #1: Philadelphia Phillies vs. New York Yankees” on FOX.

8:00 p.m.: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW.

“Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space” on NBC.

“The Botany of Desire” on PBS.

8:30 p.m.: “The Middle” on ABC.

9:00 p.m.: “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC.

“Modern Family” on ABC.

“Mythbusters” on Discovery.

“Friday Night Lights” Season 4 premiere on DirecTV (I hate anyone who gets the chance to see this now instead of in the spring. But not as much as I hate the fact that this used to be on a major network and is now shunted off into crappy satellite-only land).

9:30 p.m.: “Cougar Town” on ABC.

10:00 p.m.: “Eastwick” on ABC.

“I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” on TLC.

“Man vs. Food: Baltimore” on Travel, which I may watch just out of morbid curiosity.

“Nip/Tuck” on FX.

“Top Chef” on Bravo, with Natalie Portman of the incendiary comments related to vegetarianism we heard about yesterday. Something about how you shouldn’t eat meat at a dinner party just to make your host comfortable and comparing it to tolerating rape. I think the whole mess could be avoiding by alerting your host to any and all dietary restrictions beforehand, but maybe I’m just an old fashioned girl who doesn’t like to make a self-righteous stink at dinner parties. Also it might be a stronger argument had she not signed that petition to free Roman Polanski. But hey, I’m sure she’s a wonderful person.

“South Park” on Comedy Central.

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She would like you all to know that she is extremely tolerant of vegetarianism, veganism, gluten-free -ism, and even raw food-ism but is not tolerant of people who expect their particular dietary needs to be divined by their host with no forewarning.

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Comments

Awesome nat pic!

Posted by: Malware at October 28, 2009 7:03 PM

Phillies suck.

And I've HAD it with Top Chef I quit that bitch effective two episodes ago.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 28, 2009 7:07 PM

Time for championship #27! Get ready to cry in your cheesesteaks, bitches!

Posted by: ed newman at October 28, 2009 7:09 PM

Hee Ed-I would never salt a cheesesteak with my tears, they're too precious.

Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2009 7:12 PM

The "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" show is the lamest lame-o lamefest ever. If you watch it one time, you got every episode. No, wait, I'll even save you the trouble:

Woman talking head: There's no way I could get pregnant because I don't even have eggs! Or a uterus! Or a vagina! I'm not even female, really.

Man talking head: Yeah, there's no way! Those things, she doesn't have them! (Wait, she's not female? Then what have I--?)

Abrupt cut to woman's extended family member talking head: She never even looked pregnant!

Shot of woman doing Evil Knievel motorcycle jumps in Las Vegas, over huge flames.

Woman talking head: I never felt anything kick. I never showed at all.

Shot of woman modeling thong bikinis for Maxim.

Shot of woman doing body shots, smoking meth, and bungee jumping over Grand Canyon.

Then! She's in so much pain! What is it? What is all this WATER STUFF coming out of her!

OY THE PAIN THE PAIN MAKE IT STOP OH MY GOD I'M AFRAID I'LL DIE.

(After the commercial break...)

OH MY GOD I'M AFRAID I WON'T DIE!!!! MARY MOTHER OF GOD, JESUS, THE HOLY GHOST AND ALL THE SAINTS IN HEAVEN WHAT IS COMING OUT OF MY NON-EXISTENT VAGINA???

Then, a baby. That they don't have a stitch of clothing for.

Shot of them now, obviously the story was many years ago and they now desperately need Supernanny.

The end.

Huge waste of time.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at October 28, 2009 7:13 PM

No Glee? Boo.

Posted by: becks at October 28, 2009 7:16 PM

boo indeed.

Time to rewatch saved episodes.

Posted by: Ian at October 28, 2009 7:20 PM

The thing that kills me about "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" is how many women either go off all forms of birth control or use the rhythm method and then are COMPLETELY surprised that they ended up pregnant. Hello? If you're not barricading the little spermies in one way or another, they're going to find your eggs and raise some hell! And the rhythm method isn't effective because a lot of women tend to miscount the time between periods. I won't be surprised if the next episode features a woman who relies on the withdrawal method.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 28, 2009 7:25 PM

Also, damn you, baseball, for preempting my "Glee"!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 28, 2009 7:26 PM

MelBivDevoe It puts me in mind of the latest Duggar pregnancy announcement: both of them expressed, repeatedly, how SHOCKED and SURPRISED they are by this pregnancy!

I mean, really?

Wouldn't they be more shocked if she wasn't pregnant? Wouldn't pregnancy be a default state for her? I would imagine if the youngest gets to be 16 months old and mom isn't pregnant again, the kids start asking questions, like what the hell, moms? I wanted a 19th brother to raise. Sheesh.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at October 28, 2009 7:30 PM

Fuck the Phillies. Fuck the Yankees.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 28, 2009 7:34 PM

Top Chef can redeem itself for booking Portman and her self-righteous ass if they kill/send Robin packing tonight.

I also share the pain of loving a team that constantly brings the suck season after season (in the form of the Mets AND the Knicks... I know, I'm a glutton for punishment). I will therefore be skipping this Series, as I cannot stand to see either team enjoy any form of happiness. It makes me want to smash things.

Posted by: Cruise at October 28, 2009 7:35 PM

Natalie confuses me. I'll remember to not eat meat around her, though, should the opportunity ever arise.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 28, 2009 7:36 PM

I root for the Orioles too! Go Baltimore/Washington people who grew up during the Cal Ripken Era!

Posted by: esme at October 28, 2009 7:37 PM

Only PBS would make a TV show out of The Botany of Desire. I wonder how they handle the segment on marijuana.

Posted by: SaBrina at October 28, 2009 7:37 PM

Fuck the Phillies. Fuck the Yankees.

I figure I should just about have EE sewn up with that comment.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 28, 2009 7:38 PM

I'll remember to not eat meat around her, though, should the opportunity ever arise.

Would making a "New Age Girl" by Deadeye Dick reference here be too obscure?

Naaaaaaaah... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEDw9xgSmSc

Posted by: branded at October 28, 2009 7:59 PM

"I won't be surprised if the next episode features a woman who relies on the withdrawal method."

Wait... what? That doesn't work? Oh holy hell!!

Posted by: Hairypie Thundercunt at October 28, 2009 8:00 PM

I'm so torn. There's nobody (exaggerating?) that I love more than Natalie Portman. But how much am I willing to tolerate? My hypocrisy knows no bounds. Natalie, validate me!

Posted by: coryo at October 28, 2009 8:04 PM

You guys enjoy the World Series. I'll be over on this corner, watching the return of NBA basketball. CP3 4 MVP!

As for Natalie...you know, we dismiss Megan Fox's statements because she's pretty but "dumb." What's Natalie's excuse?

Posted by: Fredo at October 28, 2009 8:10 PM

Seriously, fuck baseball. Dullfest of a sport.

Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2009 8:17 PM

Hairypie Thundercunt you're a NAME STEALER! Your name should be NAME-STEALIN' FROM SNUGGIEPANTS THE DEATHBRINGER HAIRYPIE THUNDERCUNT!!!

THE THIRD!

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at October 28, 2009 8:20 PM

Ooh! At least I can check out Modern Family, finally.

Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2009 8:22 PM

Baseball's only good in person. And minor league. With loads of beer.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at October 28, 2009 8:23 PM

*falls over from the awesomeness of Snuggiepants*

Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2009 8:25 PM

Seriously, fuck baseball. Dullfest of a sport.

Every baseball game I've ever attended, I've brought a book with me. We went to a Philles game at the Vet before they tore it down, and I read during the entire game. Drove my Dad crazy, but I just can't watch baseball. NOTHING HAPPENS. Give me football any day!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 28, 2009 8:28 PM

ABC is showing It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!, again. It's one of my favorite movies ever, but....dammit, I wanted to at least catch Modern family today.

Posted by: figgy at October 28, 2009 9:01 PM

Speaking as a Canadian: You guys still watch baseball? We thought it was a fad that came and went in the early 90s when Toronto won a couple games.

Posted by: Brenton at October 28, 2009 9:28 PM

Branded, you made my night. I haven't thought of that song in over a decade.

Posted by: PallasJay at October 28, 2009 9:48 PM

I have to second the "Fuck baseball" motion. Baseball is too slow and, quite frankly, is too wimpy because of its weather bias. I mean, it sprinkles and you stop play. Football, on the other hand, is played in anything up to full-scale typhoons. I recall a Philadelphia-Chicago game played at Soldier Field where the fog was so thick no one could complete a pass.

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 28, 2009 9:55 PM

Aw, 'member that time I stole Snuggiepants'ses name? She didn't yell at me like that, though. We just jello wrassled. Then I got a new name.

Good times.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at October 28, 2009 9:55 PM

If Portman signed the 'Free Polanski' petition, then she DOES tolerate rape.

Everyone feel free to continue eating your hamburgers.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 28, 2009 9:57 PM

“Top Chef” on Bravo, with Natalie Portman of the incendiary comments related to vegetarianism we heard about yesterday...

Was that on Pajiba somewhere yesterday? I looked a little bit but don't remember catching that in the comments yesterday. Am interested because I read somewhere that Portman became a vegan after reading Jonathan Safran Foer's new anti-meat book.

I feel like a lousy Pajiban right now for not knowing where the comment thread's at. *looks down in shame.*

Posted by: dene at October 28, 2009 10:15 PM

dene, I don't think it was actually covered on Pajiba yesterday, so feel no shame! I read about it elsewhere and found the source article which ran at The Huffington Post for you. Here's the link:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/natalie-portman/jonathan-safran-foers-iea_b_334407.html

Hope that helps!

Posted by: Intern Rusty at October 28, 2009 10:23 PM

Go O's! :) I'll have to try to catch that Man vs. Food: Baltimore in reruns sometime.

Posted by: Caro at October 28, 2009 11:30 PM

I thought for a second that you were making up some of these shows and then remembered that this is 2009 and life is hell.
Portman is cool enough that I'll forgive her lapse but, yeah... if you don't like meat, just don't eat it. Okay? Really, Nat.

Posted by: Spender at October 29, 2009 1:47 AM

Marrrryyyy Mooooooooooooon ROAR

Haha, that's fantastic. So bad but so good. Thanks branded.

Posted by: Mick J at October 29, 2009 2:39 AM

Y'all didn't mention the follow up to 'I didnt know I was pregnant',the completley stupid: 'Obese and Pregnant.'
Followed by '650lb Virgin,' which seems out of order somehow.
{sigh}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 29, 2009 2:59 AM

Is that an NBC coup d'etat smoldering golden 30 Rock in my face ? Are we contributing to an institutionalized opponent of Net Neutrality.

Holy shit, I see the upside.

Personally, it always bothered me when a former nazi subordinate got punished for what he did. I mean, in a way it is just about our current culture also taking the initiative to repudiate all Nazis. He should fucking suffer. But in the sense closest to reality, that 87 year old Nazi that was caught a few months ago didn't do anything in all this time to warrant that something as solvent as his destruction be necessary. And is that really large of our society to condemn him instead of forgive.

While you're at it, if you want to commit a statutory rape 30 years in your past and get away with it showing no remorse or grand improvement in character, go rot in jail. Yes, making The Pianist is a way of asking forgiveness for the shit you have been, but it hardly indicates having made grand strides in improving your character. So, is Roman Polanski raping anymore? Fuck it then, he got away with it.

The Nazi and Roman Polanski hardly have anything at all to do with Net Neutrality. The 87y.o.N. doesn't correlate with R.P. because the only issue preventing his arrest was that no country knew where he was or at least, alive. That was just a trick I wanted to play.

Say the 87 year old Nazi is being imprisoned for the remainder of his days for crimes committed against humanity. His story should end with a death of his preference. Whether or not he lost his privilege to enjoy humanity, he could have been evaluated for his ability to have given something back. If the most modest criterion has been fulfilled, if he lived without bothering anyone else, he should go free. As a society, we should at some point be agreeable to forgive even those we have not in the past. Death is a morality lesson in itself. We should take forgiveness into special consideration when our age-old Nazi finds himself at our mercy.

And I am all for Dustin's very likely beautiful children getting to go to college and Antwerp and sailing schooners up to Boothbay. For real man. I'm just surprised and a bit happy for Pajiba.

If we are going to let anti-Net Neutrality seep into even the likes of us as a society>because I am feeling love for 1984

I don't say that we're going to lose on the issue of Net Neutrality, because I think that losing to Time-Warner and Comcast is indeed losing near damn the war, but if they are going to win on the issue of Net Neutrality outside of the courts and Congress, this is how they'll do it.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at October 29, 2009 3:00 AM

Ha. Victory tastes so good with a cheese steak.
Go Phillies.

Posted by: Cory at October 29, 2009 7:01 AM

Baseball is too slow and, quite frankly, is too wimpy because of its weather bias. I mean, it sprinkles and you stop play.

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 28, 2009 9:55 PM

____________

All right, champ. You go stand in the batter's box while a guy 60 feet away throws a wet, uncontrollable 98 mph fastball toward you. Go ahead, I'll wait.
(43 seconds later)
The Wanderer: gggrrgggllrrrrr
Kballs: Oooh. That's a nasty head wound there. I'll go mash some peas for your lunch.

Idiot.

Posted by: Kballs at October 29, 2009 7:57 AM

OMG...did you see him try to eat all those steaks? What a waste of good steak. I love the ny strip, prime rib and the filet mignon. Flank steak is crap though.

Posted by: grumpiestoldman at October 29, 2009 8:57 AM

Geez, I'm vegetarian, and if meat is served at a party, I just don't eat it. Usually there's bound to be a few dishes that don't have meat. No reason to make a fuss over it. I saw one too many films about how animals are treated before being "processed" and decided I couldn't be a part of it, but that's my own choice. We don't all have to try to improve the world in the same way. A friend of mine is vegan and she doesn't get pissy when I eat dairy.

Reminds me of the time I joined some friends of a friend at a bar and how irate they became when I didn't drink. What the fuck do you care what I have in my glass? It's not like I wasn't drinking to show them how much I held them in contempt for being a bunch of drunks. I don't drink because I don't like the taste and I get massive heartburn and none of that seems worth the expense and calories, plus alcohol doesn't go too well with some of my meds...the point is, stop acting like whatever other people choose to eat and drink is any of your damn business. As long as no one's eating people, I think we're OK.

Posted by: DeadBessie at October 29, 2009 9:11 AM

Wait, it's NOT okay to eat people?

I knew that.

Posted by: Kballs at October 29, 2009 9:36 AM

Just know a great celeb site ___Tallconnect CO M___ where you can me et many big beautiful wo man and hand some guys.

Posted by: Oliver45 at October 29, 2009 9:37 AM

If Natalie continues being this tedious she won't have to worry about her conduct at dinner parties, either as a host or attendee.

Posted by: samantha t at October 29, 2009 10:02 AM

Oliver45--"hand some guys"? Is that what they're calling it now?

Posted by: DeadBessie at October 29, 2009 10:27 AM

I have no idea what everyone's talking about RE Natalie Portman (something about vegetarians, which is where you lose me), I just know that Modern Family fucking rocks. That show is the best thing on TV right now. Faint praise, I know, but...

When the gay dads are kidproofing and the one says, "Everything we own is pointy." Hilarious.

Posted by: Slash at October 29, 2009 10:38 AM

I'm just gonna go ahead and repost this here....

Ha! Game 1 bitches! Everyone say it with me....WELCOME BACK POST-SEASON A-ROD!!!

Hey Yankees...our Cy Young is way better than your Cy Young.

And our other Cy Young is better than your oth...oh? Huh? Really??? 1.3 billion doallars in total payroll since 2000 and no titles, not even 1? What about that dude who won the Cy Young in 2001, Clemens, didn't...oh? No? Really? Out of the league? Huh...Steroids? No shit. Well what about that A-Rod guy and his league MVP in 2003 he hasn't won a world ser...huh? No? not even one? Steroids huh? Wow. No wonder everyone thinks he's a douche.

Oh well...at least they have that shiny new stadium what with they can fill with the tears of thousands of douchebag Yankee fans.

Karma's a bitch and A-Rod will never see a ring unless it's the one wrapped around Jeter's cock.

Posted by: PissBoy at October 29, 2009 10:53 AM

FNL was great. The ep even gave me a mini-playlist. Now if only I could understand enough of the lyrics to actually search what the damn songs are.

Posted by: arrrghzi at October 29, 2009 11:05 AM

Having always loved N.Port, it pained me to read her celeb-post on HuffPo yesterday. It struck me as a little, well, uninformed (or, newly informed) for someone who's been a very public vegetarian for so many years. I guess everyone has his or her reasons for being vegetarian, but I can't fathom being a vegetarian (which I am) and not understand the political issues involved in the meat industry, at the very least so you can speak meaningfully on the subject.

While I'm pleased that JoSaFoer has opened her eyes about the cruelty (both human and animal) inherent in our meat industry, N.Port's artical really read as a fluff piece. Her use of the ill-placed rape analogy is less surprising given the overall tone of the piece. (The meat industry represses people and is bad for the environment? GeeGollyWhiz!) And chick went to Harvard? Hmm.

Anyway, I'm a snob. Did anyone watch Top Chef? Was there anything N.Port was able to eat, or did they actually have a veg episode?

Maybe that's why my brother told me I needed to watch it. Too bad I don't have cable...

Posted by: lvsmithmarsh at October 29, 2009 11:41 AM

Holy sweet Jesus Snuggiepants, my bad... Didn't mean to piss you off so much.

**shuffle, shuffle, sniff, sniff**

Did you have to yell at me like that? (SOB)

Posted by: no longer HPTC at October 29, 2009 12:09 PM

Oh well...at least they have that shiny new stadium what with they can fill with the tears of thousands of douchebag Yankee fans.

Karma's a bitch and A-Rod will never see a ring unless it's the one wrapped around Jeter's cock.

Posted by: PissBoy at October 29, 2009 10:53 AM

--------------------------------------------

We'll see who ends up crying, Stephanie. And feel free to choke on Lee's manmeat, that's what every Phillies fan wants today.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2009 12:29 PM

I usually really want to like N. Portman. She's so pretty and she's not a fame whore and she seems like such a nice person. But then she "acts" in a crap movie or says some stupid shit and I remember why I don't like her.

Posted by: kayla at October 29, 2009 7:31 PM

everytime i hear from ms portman and all the fellows fawning over her and her harvard education, i get a little bit annoyed. bitch got into harvard because she was in star wars and is beautiful. her sat scores werent quite there..and..have you heard her speak intelligently? ever.

Posted by: jac at October 30, 2009 10:15 AM

Say what you like about Natalie Portman, she may be a Vegan nutbar, but I looked on several petitions for Polanski and didn't see her name anywhere. Didn't see Harrison Ford either, for that matter.

Don't know where these rumors get started, but I think the first place I saw it was right here!

-Ralphie

Posted by: Ralphie at October 30, 2009 4:33 PM

Friday Night Lights is GOOD. They've made some good decisions on how to keep the show going despite most of the cast having graduated.

Posted by: Lucas at October 30, 2009 11:26 PM

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