Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Chris Pratt
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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Chris Pratt

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | June 27, 2014 | Comments ()


Remember this time last year, when Chris Pratt was just the lovable, squishable Andy Dwyer? Well, times have changed. Chris Pratt is suddenly a top contender for this year’s Pajiba 10, and not for no reason. Take a look at the man’s abs qualifications.

To start, he’s not afraid of hard work.


And he’s not afraid to share.

He’s got the dad thing down.


And underneath it all, he’s really a poet at heart.

But he knows how to balance that softness…



…with the… uh… with the tough… something… …


Sorry! I got lost in that GIF for a moment. Where were we?


Right! Just in case you still think of Pratt as schlubby Andy, oh no. He cleans up REAL nice.


Listen, folks. Time is of the essence. Now is the time to get in our Prattmiration. Because in 2014 and 2015 combined, Pratt will have been in not one-


Not 2-


But 3 huge blockbusters.

Thumbnail image for chris-pratt-ed.jpg

And we need to be able to say Pajiba was there from the start. That we’ve always been there for him. Because he’s always been there for us.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • janeite1900

    I need the name of his trainer.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    No! No! You ruined it with the last one. THAT HAIR. It hurts me.


  • e jerry powell

    Oh, my, he was kinda mushy, wasn't he?

    Normally mushy is not something I have a problem with, but there's not enough pictures of Mushy Pratt to make things fair to him. I must go with the preponderance of the evidence.

  • Kalcen

    Chris Pratt is one of those guys who was not attractive when he was young and skinny. And now he is super hot WHEN he has scruff or a beard....without though, he just looks weird.

  • John W

    I'll say the same thing I said about Pedro "The Viper" Pascal, his agent should be real busy.

  • Lord Inferno

    Chris Pratt is my spirit animal.

  • Mrs. Julien

    My Pajiba 5 remains unassailed, but I am genuinely enjoying the lobbying.

  • emmalita

    My issue with Chris Pratt is his youth. I enjoy him, but I can't get too worked up about him without feeling creepy and old.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Dude, he's 35! Work yourself up without guilt.

  • emmalita

    Nick Offerman is more my style anyway, and he's only 2 yrs younger.

  • Can you remind me who the 5 are? I'm impressed that Pedro Pascal was unable to infiltrate the top 5. He went from "person I had never heard of" to "solid contender for the #1 slot" on my list.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Um, I haven't actually selected and I can't find last year's list. Off the top of my head: Daniel Craig, Ewan McGregor, Henry Cavill, Idris Elba, Mark Strong (?), Jason Momoa (?). I have my work cut out for me.

  • here here~!

  • jM

    Can we freeze this moment at his hottest, funniest, most lovable apex? Before he saturates the market and the internet that built him up turns on him, or he makes a stupid comment about rape, or we find out he kicked that puppy from Parks and Rec and called it the n-word, or any of the other things that tend to come along and tarnish my celebrity buzz bank material. Can this just be forever?

  • ERM 275

    Ha, you were 3 minutes too late. (See Eve's comment...)

  • jM

    Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and admit that I'm not as troubled by that as others and continue living in this gif filled hunk of amber while I can.

  • Eve

    Sorry, but I do judge people by the way they treat animals -- especially animals that need special care.

    Luckily, the cat found a new, loving home (or so he says). But knowing that it has been abandoned twice still breaks my heart.

    That's right: I'm willing to be the discerning voice here and be sh*t on for not liking him.

  • Eve

    He gave his wife's 20-year-old cat (Snowbell, from Stuart Little, remember?) away on Twitter. Acted like a complete jerk when criticized for that.

    He tries to excuse himself while saying that "If you are a parent you will understand. And if not, that probably explains why you have such a hard on for cats. Just sayin’."

    So am I to understand that the fact I don't have any children (and don't plan to) makes me a weirdo who has a "hard on for cats"? Funny that he has no problems in owning three dogs now. He gave the cat away because the cat became an inconvenience and I see that happening so many times it breaks my heart.

    Sorry, still a douchebag in my book and the ONLY reason why I still haven't decided if I'm going to watch Guardians of the Galaxy or not. Probably not -- and I'm a HUGE Marvel fan.

    REALLY don't understand why Pajibans love this guy so much. In my opinion, he plays the same character over and over again.

    Oh, and that selfie showing his abs (he took another one, if I'm not wrong), complete with duckface, is a red flag to me (for being a douchebag, that is).

    P.S.: for the record: I'd feel the same way had he done that to a dog (or any other animal, for that matter).

  • Parsnip

    Well that's nipped that attraction in the bud. I thought that selfie of the abs was rather obnoxious, the cat has taken it to a whole new level. Well, he can suck it.

  • Eve

    Sorry for raining on your parade. Truly.

    It's just that this guy gets so much love here...people saying how adorable he is. And I disagree...but, like many others before me, saying you dislike a Pajiba-favourite seems like a declaration of war for some.

  • Parsnip

    No raining, honest. I can only hope he really did give the cat a warm, safe and loving home to end its days. He can still suck it...and yes, I'm a woman AND a cat owner (though one never really owns a cat).

  • Bananapanda

    I gonna chime in here and say that cats and babies often don't mix due to their litter boxes and feces and nails carrying diseases. Sad but true.

    Also Chris and Anna are Northwesters who hunt and are less sentimental about animals. I'm sure he felt bad about the cat but they could have easily left it in an alleyway and let it fend for itself (or not, LA has a lot of coyotes).

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    My cousin hunts, and if you set his house on fire, he'd probably grab the dog before he'd grab his wife. I have no problem with hunting for food, but I do think there's a difference in most hunter's minds between pets and food.
    That being said, I'm allergic to cats, so I've never had one, but I have a ton of friends that have both babies and cats. Are they really that dangerous to kids? I genuinely didn't know that.

  • Eve

    No, they're not. Unless you don't clean the litter box properly. It's a damned misconception that cats are dangerous to children.

    I've had cats (and dogs) all my life and NEVER EVER had any health related issues. So hasn't my childhood friend (had cats her entire life, too). So haven't my nephews and nieces -- not a single "cat-related" problem.

    P.S.: When a woman is pregnant, she should avoid dealing with the littler box. But she can also wear gloves. I've had pregnant veterinarians treating my cats -- so, his excuse is BS. It's not like they're poor and couldn't hire someone to take care of the cat. Face it: he simply wanted an excuse to get rid of it.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I mean, one of the cat owning moms I know has a PhD in biology, so I figured she wasn't actively endangering her child...
    I really don't know much about cats outside of their lovely internet videos and the puffy feeling I get when one rubs against me, but I didn't know if they had some nefarious baby disease. I mean, I can see why the baby shouldn't use the litterbox as a sandbox, but surely there are ways to avoid that.

  • Eve

    It's toxoplasmosis. Most people who own cats already carry it. Pregnant women should check for it and avoid contact with cat feces. But that's it. Nothing as dramatic as giving the animal away just because "we're trying to get pregnant".

    I think I should leave this thread now, you know, before anyone calls me a crazy cat lady. It hurts -- I'm a lady (or at least I try to be) and yes, I love cats, but that doesn't make me crazy. Crazy, cowardly and heartless is abandoning an innocent animal.

  • Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants

    Eve, you speak the truth, and I remember you pointing this out about him on another post - I have never, ever felt the same way about him since. It really stings because he's always gonna be Andy Dwyer to me, and Parks and Rec is my favourite. But I'd still rather know this shit before I get too invested in someone. I'm a registered vet tech and you are so right - the risk to his wife and child would have been minimal, and easily solved by Pratt scooping the fucking litter himself. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to have the euthanasia conversation with a husband who refuses to meet my eyes while he explains that because his wife can no longer scoop the litter, he's brought the cat in to be "put to sleep" (they always use the gentlest terms to describe this, as if they aren't talking about killing a pet that has become inconvenient to them). I am tempted to give him a tiny bit of credit for at least trying to find the cat a home - but at the same time, if Anna had that cat for its whole life, how do you think it felt for it to be removed from everything it has ever known and placed into a totally unfamiliar place, at that age? And animals do know what's happening to them, when this happens... they are aware of so much more than we give them credit for. I'm not entirely sure what he did here wasn't more cruel, though I don't think that was his intention.

    Anyhow, all of this is to say thank you to you, for speaking out for animals. And thank you to everyone here who loves and cares for them, too - especially the abandoned ones. People like you make the difference for people with jobs like mine.

    ps I really need for Pedro Pascal to be a big time animal lover. I was going to say I'd be crushed if I heard otherwise but that seems like a poor choice of words, considering :D

  • Eve

    Thank you.

    The story of Faris's cat is kind of sad. That's Snowbell from the Stuart Little movies.

    Apparently, Faris adopted it from one of those shelters for animals that no longer "work" in movies/tv (translation: when they're no longer cute enough to be on screen).

    In a way, the poor cat was abandoned twice -- first by its handlers or whoever took care of him back when he was a "movie star", then by Faris. As I already stated, that breaks my heart.

    P.S.: He even deleted his original tweet (the one where he first offered to anyone who would take it) but there's a little thing called "printscreen" and that makes impossible for anyone to erase their online doucheness:

    "anyone in the LA area want a cat? full disclosure, she's old and prone to accidents. So sweet though. And she was in Stuart Little. (literally)."

    He literally offered the cat to anyone who would take it. He wasn't exactly trying to find it a new, loving home. As I said before, it seems he simply wanted to get rid of it.

    It also pisses me off that he used Twitter to give the cat away, but was upset when criticized and later said it was "none of our business". When you're using social media to advertise something...then yes, it becomes people's business, you jackass.

  • Parsnip

    Nah, I'm with you on this one. My friend had three little girls. When she had her first baby she and her partner got two cats. I'm not aware of any problems with the cats. I remember asking her was she mad to get TWO cats soon after having a baby, only because she'd have her hands full. She chuckled about it and has never regretted it. Two more kids later they still have their cats.

  • Mrs. Julien

    We should punish him with our heartless objectification!

  • Eve


    Sorry, but I can't even hatef*ck him. He became more punchable than Seth MacFarlane to me (and that says A LOT).

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Wow. I had no idea he did that. I guess I'm going to go console myself by looking at the Pedro Pascal post from yesterday (please don't tell me he kicked a puppy or something, I don't think my lions can take that).


  • Lord Inferno

    I read the article and the twitter posts. This stuff happens. My family only adopts pets, and my grandmother in particular used to adpot standard poodles from a poodle rescue organization. More than half of our pets come from good families who simply can't take care of them anymore. We've had incontinent poodles, psychotic cats, and some where the family simply moved into an apartment that didn't allow animals. One really heartbreaking one was an older woman who had to give up her poodle because she couldn't get up anymore to let the dog out in time. The dog shit was a health hazard, but it broke her heart.

    The rest were simply abandoned. Sometimes alone in the old house. I know which option I prefer.

    At that age I probably would have put the animal down, but if they found a good home, more power too him.

  • Eve

    The rest were simply abandoned. Sometimes alone in the old house. I know which option I prefer.

    That happens all the time here where I live, especially with cats because the mindset here is that "cats can fend for themselves". So, they throw entire litters of kittens -- who will likely starve to death unless a weirdo (according to Mr. Pratt) like myself finds them a home.

    Our pets are ALL rescuees -- dogs and cats. Ray, one of the dogs, was left for dead in a dumpster (a common practice when it's about kittens -- they put the kittens in plastic bags and throw them in the trash). I found my beloved cat Titus Pullo when he was wounded, starving, wandering disorientedly next to a busy road.

    Please, call me whatever you want but let me hate this guy. I have my reasons.

  • April Pastorius Wise

    To hate someone you don't know, have never met, is ridiculous. Hate their actions? Hate something they said? Hate how they look? Knock yourself out!

    Hate the person? Ridiculousness.

  • Eve

    Yes, hate the person. You're even contradicting yourself: so one can hate the actions and the words but not the jackass who's done and said it? That doesn't even make sense! How can anyone be hated if not for their actions and/or words?

    But it's like you didn't even read my original comment. I clearly stated above the reasons for hating him. It's for what he's done and said so, according to your own words, for "his actions and words".

    I repeat: I judge people by the way they treat animals. That's me. You're not like that, fine. But I think that's a f*cking valid reason to like or dislike someone.

    P.S.: Never ever in my life I hated anyone simply for the way they looked.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Your cat is Titus Pullo? Allergies be damned, I want to meet your cat!

  • Eve

    It's actually Titus Pullo Jolie and here's why: when I picked him up he was so skinny he looked like a sewer rat -- with really big blue eyes that reminded me of...Gollum. Even my sister took a look at him and said that was the "ugliest cat she had ever seen". I tried to call him Vincent (because my favourite painter is Van Gogh; also because of Vincent Cassel -- big blue eyes, thin face). It didn't work. He wouldn't respond.

    One day I was watching "Rome", so I looked at him and said "Titus, Titus Pullo" and he turned around and looked back at me. He chose his name.

    P.S.: Turns out he grew up to be a huge, and I mean HUGE, mass of muscle (and fat, I must admit -- 17 lbs last time I checked). And an absolutely beautiful cat so I added the "Jolie".

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I considered naming my dogs Pullo and Vorenus, I loved that show so.

  • Eve

    Here he is -- it's a 4 years old picture though (he's fatter and bigger than that now). I was going to post the picture from when I picked him, but it's just too depressing so I chose not to.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    My mother just adopted a sweet old dog who basically came from a situation where the owner said "eh, I don't want him and if you don't want him I'll put him down." Now, this guy isn't incontinent yet, but it was a tough adjustment for the old guy when we brought him to my mom's house.
    I believe pets are a commitment you make. I promised my dogs that I would feed and shelter them for life and pay all their bills. That's the arrangement.
    I know there are legitimate reasons to get rid of pets (especially older people who have to move facilities, which I've seen a lot), but I really feel like with a fairly affluent, successful lifestyle, you could deal with the cat for a few more years (I mean, at 20, you have, what 5 years at best?). It makes me very sad when old animals are re-homed like that.

  • Lord Inferno

    It's not ideal, but it's never done us any good to hate those friends who come to us looking for a good home for their pet. If we can accomodate it, we just say yes and focus on getting the pet adjusted. We are still friends with these people, heck some of them help take care of our barn after we adopt their horses.

    My mother and father had to rely on some of these same people when thwy had to move into an aparment that didnt allow pets. He says he found it a home and I believe him. If my wife were about to become pregnant with an incontinent cat around I would consider the same thing.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I don't hate him. I'm just not sure I understand the reasoning for him. Obviously he isn't losing his home and in need of a quick solution for his pet.
    If the pet's quality of life was so bad, shouldn't he or she be put down?

  • Lord Inferno

    Sorry, the "hate" commentary wasn't directed at you, it was a theme in the thread. This thing kind of morphed quickly.

    The putting down question is tough. We've definitely taken on some charity cases (couple horses I can think of) over the decades that really probably should have been put down earlier. Not an easy call when there is a lot of attachment. The poodles we learned to be a little more proactive about. They have a susceptibility to several types of cancer and once is starts there aren't a lot of good options.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Am I the only one that found him irresistible before he acquired the abs? Because, that smile and those eyes are not limited by weight.

  • Parsnip

    I like him squidgy in the middle. It was his humour, comedy and charm that I fell for.

  • Jim


    Yes, I agree completely. THAT is a smile you'd take home to meet Mom.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I love this gif SO much!

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Thank you for being a friend.

  • He's always been adorable. Now he's humminah-dorable.

  • BWeaves

    Humminah-dorable is my new favorite word.

  • lilianna28

    "Damn you, Greg Berlanti!"- ah, memories.

  • stella

    Man this year is gonna hard isnt it...

  • Mrs. Julien

    Apparently. You've already lost the power of speech. I can't say I blame you.

  • stella

    Im sorry, what were talking about?

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Get your lions ready.

  • Mrs. Julien


  • ZbornakSyndrome
  • VonnegutSlut

    Burt Macklin approves of this post.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Back in the pre-disqus days, I used the name "Scarecrow Boat" when I wanted to post anonymously. I never had the nerve to post as "Fourskin" though.

  • msd-O'Hurn, M.D.

    You could have pretended the bassist left and went with "Threeskin"

  • Alex W

    Just want to throw it out there but that punching bag gif is definitely from Captain America and is a Chris Evans gif. Also, it appears that you put up the same Jurassic Park photo for number 1 and number 3 of the huge blockbusters

  • luthien26

    Dat CapAss is such a distraction!

  • vivkane

    Damn it Chris Evans!

  • PerpetualIntern

    That last picture is glorious.

  • Irina

    Everwood nostalgia week here on Pajiba :)

  • VonnegutSlut

    Bless his '90s-ass heart:

    He looks like a Justin Timberlake knockoff--circa '98. I say that being 17 circa '98. Ugggghhh...

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