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Obama vs. McCain. Round III

An Open Thread / The Eloquents

Miscellaneous | October 15, 2008 | Comments (333)

McCain is down. Way down. 14 points nationally in one poll. Surely, this is where McCain makes his run, right? 2:1 odds says that, at some point during the debate, McCain lunges at Obama. With his teeth. If he gets an ear, I’m changing my vote. I respect a man who can get his self out of trouble with his jaws. Plus, with all those glass ceilings being broken this year, it’d be nice to see some blood.









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Comments

Chile is playing Argentina tonight for a space in the World Cup, so I won't be watching all of the debate.

I do intend to watch it through my love's eyes.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 7:09 PM

I'm just hoping that they didn't vet the audience very well. I want some good old fashion TERRORIST! and ARAB! chants.

Then perhaps the declaration of a Jihad.

MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm, Jihad.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 7:16 PM

I'm hoping Nader comes crashing through the back wall, Kool-Aid style...

I'm hoping McCain accidentally raises his arms above his head, causing it to pop off Boxing-Robots style, revealing that he actually is, in fact, a robot.

I hope McCain sends Palin out on the stage to do a saucy little number involving bail-out receipts, distracting Obama enough where McCain can claim himself the winner.

I hope I've got enough whiskey in the cabinet to make it through the debate and the dexterity to manage basic keyboarding skills.

I hope...

Posted by: Skitz at October 15, 2008 7:19 PM

Oh my, Skitz. You have presented me with quite an idea.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 7:23 PM

I wouldn't worry Skitz, although we broke the internet during the Veep debates, the McCain/Obama debates were less than entooziastick. Still, here's hoping something exciting happens - like, they ANSWER the questions.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 7:23 PM

I did not make it through the previous debate threads, so maybe this has been addressed already: I can't stop laughing at that picture. Obama doesn't exactly look like a spring chicken. But McCain looks like the world's oldest, blotchiest, comboveriest man/woman. Is he asking Obama for a break so he can check his adult diaper? He appears to be whispering a shameful secret and Obama is listening quite Presidentially.

Posted by: Cara at October 15, 2008 7:27 PM

Is it that time of month again? Oh god. Okay, here goes...what time does this puppy start?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 7:28 PM

Cara, he's just telling Obama what he'd do if "all these damn cameras weren't around".

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 7:31 PM

Sorry Old Balls and Captain Hopeandchange, I will be watching the Phillies game.

Kala-it starts at 9:00EST. :)

Posted by: Julie at October 15, 2008 7:38 PM

Sometimes I wish that I cared less.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 7:47 PM

I'm a Maverick. Goose has my back... Goose..Goo..

Posted by: Maverick at October 15, 2008 7:53 PM

Still, here's hoping something exciting happens - like, they ANSWER the questions.

Oh Stella, you're adorable.

Also, perhaps, Admin11, you, Skitz and I should chillax on the jihad talk...there's a danger that the site gets flagged and agents come to our houses, round us up, and torture us...not in the sexy way, either.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 7:54 PM

I wish Barack would kick McCain in his nuts just like Mr. Roper did to Bolo in "Enter The Dragon."

Posted by: Pookie at October 15, 2008 7:56 PM

The only debate I've caught so far was the VP one, so I'm strangely interested in this one. It can't possibly be as entertaining; I think both of these guys know how to say nuclear.

...right?

Posted by: Gabs at October 15, 2008 7:58 PM

I am currently running a 102 fever. I am hoping that this will make the debate seem more lively and interesting -- like when Obama morphs into a friendly dolphin, or McCain reveals himself to be a flesh-dripping zombie clown...

Posted by: PaleoLithchick at October 15, 2008 8:03 PM

C'mon Marra any torture is sexy torture. Hancuffs and whips and chains Oh My!

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 8:10 PM

Is anyone watching Olbermann? The Batman/Penguin debate is spot on.

Posted by: CIndy at October 15, 2008 8:11 PM

Oh, totally, Admin11, I can get my kink on with the best of Pajibans...it's the Jack Bauer shoots you in the kneecaps in order to get you to reveal the location of the murdertank torture I can't take.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 8:11 PM

I think I shall play the John McCain "My Friends" drinking game, and have a sip when the eponymous phrase is uttered.

In order to make it a sporting proposition, I am making the same mixture I made during the Super Bowl to play the Tom Brady Gets Hit game - Tanqueray Gin and V-8 Tropical Orange (tm). Good to you, and good for you.

I expect to get righteously tanked.

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 15, 2008 8:16 PM

"Tonight's debate will feature question submitted by Internet. Sen. Obama, 'leetmeatbag69' asks, 'WILL U GIVE ME WAREZ D00D'? You have two minutes."

"It's my intention as President to provide 'warez' to every American who needs them. 'Warez' are a basic right, like education, health care, and gold-plated robots with laser eyes."

"Sen. McCain?"

"My friends, this person is clearly a terrorist. I support whatever the President has done, is doing, or will do to him, regardless of whether it's legal. After all, he's the President. Anything he does is legal! Why do you think I want the job so bad? Two words - unbaptized babies. Babies for the necromantic elixer vitae that will extend my life..."

Posted by: Landon at October 15, 2008 8:30 PM

NOTHING will make me give up the location of the MurderTank Marra. Nothing. Not Jack Bauer, Not John McCain. Not Portugese Man of Wars attached to my testicles. NOTHING.

Except maybe puppies. They're cute and they tickle when they crawl on you. And when they meow, oh I could just giggle. I just can't resist puppies.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 8:35 PM

Puppies meowing? Oh no! my sweet Admin, they've gotten to you already!

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 8:45 PM

No, no, Marra, remember that Admin11 is Canadian, and in Canada milk comes in bags and puppies meow. It is a strange land.

Posted by: Jerce at October 15, 2008 8:56 PM

***Looong day at work. No energy or enthusiasm to even try & jump in here tonight. This "debate" is gonna suck probably even moreso than the last two, and I'm not staying awake long enough to watch it. However ***

Lessee if I can encapsulate tonight's debate without benefit(?) of having yet seen it, 'kay?

Questions Will Be Asked.

The candidates will not answer any of them to our complete satisfaction. They will instead wander off the path to recite their own pre-written agendas that have been carefully mapped out for them by their writers.

Separate Ideas and Policies Will Be Either Ignored Nor Allowed to Be Aired During This Time.

Ohhh, you betcha! Because these two fucks can't GIVE you a specific policy or idea, they're too "campaign-weary" and don't have the inclination to try and adequately share their positions or opinons on subjects that will really matter in the future.

McCain May or May Not Shake Hands/Make Eye Contact with Obama:

That's another reason we're all quite familiar with McCain's 'Maverick' style (true fact: the 'Maverick' horses of the old west never made eye contact OR shook hands with harmless human bein), so let's give the ol' man a pass on his awkward social skills, even after 70 years, agreed?

So if you're expecting "NEW IDEAS" or "MOMENTS OF CLARITY" from these two puppets on a soundstage, too self-involved to communicate to a flesh-and-blood audience without carefully-prepared responses, howzabout the next question be:

This is a DEBATE, jerkwads- HERE'S your time; HERE'S your absolute FREE TIME to speak all across America, to EVERYONE'S VOTE you want and so desperately need.

TELL us what your thoughts are, not what you just read in 'USA Today', or some little sound bite that will come back to bite YOU right in the ass--

FACE your damn opponent, tell the dude how pathetically inadequate he is to run the USA, and JUST WHY THE FUCK YOU'D DO BETTER!

I'm serious guys, you fuck it up tonight and I have no respect or hope left for either of you.

I went through eight sublime years of the Clinton administration, followed by eight years of madness, wreckless spending and depletion of our deficit, THOUSANDS of our young people, so vital to your next generation, all gone because of one idiot's decision to outdo his daddy; an economy that we don't know is going to collapse before we wake up in the morning (Nice parting gift btw, Bush. Is this dude, and his posse, ever gonna be held accountable for what they did to us? By either administration?)

A'right, enough already: no more soap-boxing, no more outrage or genuine thrill of wanting the bad guys to lose so badly.. (I was screaming at my ceiling from my bed back in March of 1995, dictating entire books on how the Bush admin fucked us, through the wee hours of the morning, only to just go to sleep tired and more pissed off the next workday, so don't tell me I haven't been through my own"angry" phase. I still deal with it, just on different levels.)

Please prove me wrong, Pajibans. Please tell me history isn't going to be shoved back into my face with the same old policies and practices that will ensure our country's destruction, or being defeated, within our lifetime.

I'm a fatalist, I can't help it. I don't believe ANY ONE PERSON can save our country, President or not. But which candidate that we presently have to choose from would you take a chance on for a future of any kind?

That's it for tonight, be grateful I didn't take up more screen space.

You guys PLEASE go on with your 'own' debate tonight so I'll have plenty to read in the morning - I READ ALL COMMENTS, because you're worth it.

Posted by: TMax at October 15, 2008 8:58 PM

And beavers are neatly trimmed or shaved depending on geographical location, cows neigh, horses moo, and politicians actually mean what they say.

And milk does come in bags Jerce. Cartons have pointy corners.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:01 PM

Oh wow, sounds like this guy means business.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:02 PM

Fuck that old man up Obama! Or let him fuck himself. Either way...

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:02 PM

Oh Admin11, politicians mean what they say here? Pfft.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:03 PM

grrr....McCain angry! McCain SMASH!

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:04 PM

Hulu is streaming the debate, which is cool; unfortunately they're streaming the Fox Network's coverage. Shit. I might have to get up and go in the TV room...I love CNN's squiggly lines...

Posted by: Jerce at October 15, 2008 9:04 PM

Is it just me, or does McCain seem much more composed? Do you think he stole some stuff from Cindy's medicine cabinet? Weird.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:04 PM

McCain looks lost and scared.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:05 PM

I think McCain is projecting with the angry angry angry.

Posted by: sappho at October 15, 2008 9:05 PM

wooo Hofstra! totally lived five minutes from there.

FYI: do you know Hofstra has its own STD? guess if you can name it!

Posted by: aidan at October 15, 2008 9:06 PM

I like how Obama is addressing the camera, not the moderator.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:07 PM

Admin11, cows neigh and horses moo--what do the pigs say? And do you really put mayonnaise on your French fries? What do you put ketchup on?

Posted by: Jerce at October 15, 2008 9:08 PM

Is it just me or does Obama have a lot more gray? 20 months of this would do that to anyone I suppose.

Posted by: Algator at October 15, 2008 9:08 PM

Joe Hertzleburger? Actually, this whole schpeil is pretty effective...if not entirely true.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:08 PM

I'd say that this isn't McCain's night.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:09 PM

My friends, people are anger and they're hurting.

They're hurting. And angry.

And quit blinking at me, I'm a married woman.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:09 PM

Please, people...we need to save Joe the Plumber!!!!

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:09 PM

Oooh, McCain's going for one vote at a time. That's a new tactic...

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:10 PM

Marra Only if his last name is Sixpack.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:10 PM

jerce, mayo on fries is a European thing...

Joe the Plumber! Do you think he knows Joe Six Pack???

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:10 PM

The pigs say, "vote for me," and unfortunately a lot of the people I know put ketchup on perfectly good steak.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:10 PM

I'd like to know exactly which independent studies said that, Sen. Obama. Just sayin'.

McCain is throwing some wild punches. Smells like desperation.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:11 PM

Screw drinking on maverick or my friends...Joe the Plumber it is!!!

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:12 PM

Second highest tax rate? Does mccain know about, oh, I dunno, Europe? Every poor debtridden country in africa?

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:13 PM

Holy crap, Joe the Plumber needs to move to Ireland to be successful!

Fuck, the Irish are stealing our jobs AGAIN!

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:13 PM

Desperate, indeed. He's not even letting Obama finish his reply now. Just talking over him.

McCain just got a single clap. Votes on who it was?

PS: Obama, thank you for saying you wouldn't mind paying more in taxes.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:13 PM

Wow, McCain looks like a smarmy self rightious prick.

Posted by: admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:13 PM

McCain blinks a lot. >.>

Posted by: Gabs at October 15, 2008 9:14 PM

Ha, kalafraja, I was just about to say the same thing! I'm pretty sure Joe the Plumber is feeling super special important tonight!

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:14 PM

Moderator: Both of your economic plans are completely useless. THoughts?

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:14 PM

Hmmmmm - McCain seems a bit. . . . whiny.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 9:15 PM

"Joe the Plumber" my bit white overfed ass. When do you think was the last time the Senator really had an actual conversation with a working man?

I suspect that both candidates are mostly facade--but McCain's facade is way crappier. He just screams "fake."

Posted by: Jerce at October 15, 2008 9:16 PM

Um, isn't Cheney also in the hospital? Maybe McCain doesn't want to mention that since he's 5 years OLDER than Cheney.

Posted by: amanda47 at October 15, 2008 9:16 PM

lainey, he'll be on CNN in the morning. They'll want his opinion on who won the debate.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:16 PM

ha! you think Bush knows how to pronounce "profligate"?

Or what it means?

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:17 PM

During the depression, we had a thing called home ownership...I personally oversaw this measure, and I can tell you it worked great.

Oh, you wanted me to answer the question? uh, no thanks.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:17 PM

Waitaminnit, this is a rerun!

Posted by: Todd at October 15, 2008 9:17 PM

back during the depression? The Great Depression of the 1930s, John?

Posted by: aidan at October 15, 2008 9:17 PM

McCain is warming up a little bit...he's still a bit of a loose cannon tonight, I think. Could get interesting. Probably won't.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:18 PM

McCain is holding out on us again "I know how to..."

Posted by: amanda47 at October 15, 2008 9:18 PM

Why aren't you people listening to me? I KNOW HOW TO SAVE MONEY! I KNOW HOW TO BE PRESIDENT? WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS?

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:18 PM

I think he's whispering "cut out the pork", wink wink. "Let's go back to my hotel room after this."

Posted by: Cara at October 15, 2008 9:19 PM

Hatchet! Scalpel! Overhead projector.
Hatchet! Scalpel! Overhead projector.
Hatchet! Scalpel! Overhead projector.

Man, that needs a BEAT.

Posted by: BG at October 15, 2008 9:20 PM

No! No! No! You cunt! Not the Planetarium again. Eat a dick.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 9:20 PM

Does McCain's smirk mean he thinks he's caught Obama, or does it mean he's nervous?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:20 PM

Is it just me or does Obama never right shit. When they pan over to McCain when Obamas talking he is always writing like his life depends on it. (insert your own joke here) But when the camera pans over to Obama he is just sitting their. Is that just me?

Posted by: Alex McQ at October 15, 2008 9:21 PM

Mr Stella thinks that Obama comes across as Mr Spock - "you're ideas are illogical, Sen McCain"

ha. Where's a vulcan deathgrip when you need one?
[This is Mr Stella and I approve this message]

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:21 PM

"I'm not President Bush. . . . "

OK, I'll give McCain props for that one.

That made me laugh.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 9:21 PM

I will balance the budget and get Osama bin Laden because I know how. Don't ask me how. I know how.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:21 PM

Oh man, McCain has been *dying* to use that Bush line!

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:22 PM

Hatchets. Scalpels. Tillers. Loads of implements of all kinds of variety.

What's with his weird lisp? It's bothering me more than usual tonight. Did he forget to put in his upper plate?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:22 PM

YOUR not "you're"

Posted by: Mr Stella at October 15, 2008 9:22 PM

kalafraja he's just constipated.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:22 PM

Sorry if this is gross, but now I'm imagining McCain hacking someone up with a hatchet, then using a scalpel to sift thru the chunky mess.

Oh, yeah. He's of sound mind.

And if he doesn't back off the attacks, I'm gonna have to drive up to NY and smack that soulless smirk off his monstrous mug.

Posted by: ShinyKate at October 15, 2008 9:22 PM

Admin, someone should tell him that they have Metamucil for that shit.

No pun intended.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:23 PM

I love that McCain says that Obama wants to "Spread the wealth" so derisively, like it's a bad thing to want more than 5% of the people to be financially comfortable.

Posted by: Alexandra at October 15, 2008 9:24 PM

Oh man, McCain has been *dying* to use that Bush line!
Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:22 PM

Oh man, McCain has been *dying*.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 9:24 PM

I've disagreed with Bush...a full 10% of the time! Come on! Make me president already.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:24 PM

How is it an advantage for McCain when neither his own party or the opposition can stand him.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:25 PM

ABC News / You Tube has the full 6 minutes w/that plumber McCain brought up tonight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFC9jv9jfoA

Obama explains that he'll get income increase but the business break on health care but he doesn't bulls**t him about raising his taxes from 36% to 39%.

Posted by: amanda47 at October 15, 2008 9:25 PM

Moderator: How come you guys are suck dicks to each other?

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:25 PM

Oh my god. This moderator rocks ass.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:25 PM

Oh boy, I love this question on the mud-slinging.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:25 PM

Wait, we're going to eliminate spending AND win the war in Iraq how?

Posted by: BlueBombardier at October 15, 2008 9:26 PM

Oh I love these questions!! The facts are in the question so no one can make stuff up. And I love how both are reminded to stick to the question.

Posted by: brenia at October 15, 2008 9:26 PM

Ugh...Now McCain is basically saying, "if he'd only been willing to do things MY way..."

What, you wouldn't have behaved like a hatemonger?

That's mature.

Posted by: ShinyKate at October 15, 2008 9:26 PM

GOOD questions!

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:26 PM

Did McCain just say it's Obama's fault that I called him a terrorist blackie?

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 9:27 PM

Oooooo - poor McCain, he's such a victim.

Asshole.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 9:27 PM

Hmmm...the campaign has been tough...tough as in racist fear-mongering maybe?

Posted by: Algator at October 15, 2008 9:28 PM

WTF? This is the biggest bunch of bullshit. McCain wants sympathy over something someone else said about his friend? Meanwhile, he and his bitch are talking shit about Obama every day.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:28 PM

I don't...I mean, what the fuck? You can't just say one thing and then do the exact opposite and have no one call you on your shit.

I can't fucking deal with this. Admin, about Canada...how fucked up is it? Cuz I can't deal with this shit anymore.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:28 PM

So it's Obama's fault that you ran nasty ads against him, McCain? Nice, very classy answer to the question. Even my four year old comes up with better excuses than that.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:29 PM

McCain: "You hurt my feelings. Take it back!"

Posted by: brenia at October 15, 2008 9:29 PM

I love Bob Schaeffer! He's so adorably grampa-like and yet comes out with these zingers.

McCain corrected an old woman saying "he's not an arab, he's a good family guy". His crowds are sccaaary...

Posted by: amanda47 at October 15, 2008 9:29 PM

Obama is responding exactly right. Back to the issues.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:30 PM

A fucking football reference!

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:30 PM

Admin11, Joe the Plumber loves football.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:31 PM

Joe the Plumber! Drink!

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:31 PM

That's right, McCain remembers back after the revolution, when George Washington ran some of the worst tv ads. Really, McCain thought it was shameful.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:31 PM

Did he say Joe the Plumber? Is he related to Joe Six-Pack? Are all Americans named Joe?

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:32 PM

Hehe, he said "tit"

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 9:33 PM

My husband is an immigrant from the UK, and he tells me he now wishes to be known as Joseph Bottle of Bailey's.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:33 PM

McCain looks like he's going to lose it.

And he is a pig.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

Did he just reference Palin is a Cunt tshirts???

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

Marra my dear, Canada isn't fucked up at all. We're special. AND NOT LITTLE BLUE BUS SPECIAL EITHER!

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

McCain is acting like that classmate who always tries to interrupt you when you're making an awesome point.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

He demands repudiation from Obama for the behavior of a dude who had nothing to do with Obama's campaign, but doesn't offer to repudiate his running mate's behavior.

Oh--he's PROUD of the lynch mobs. That's fucking great.

Posted by: BlueBombardier at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

Hey, what are the odds of a strange hike in babies named Joe in the coming months?

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

He didn't repudiate Palin saying Obama was palling around with terrorists, now did he?

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:34 PM

"I'm not happy about the things being said at your rallies."

Like: Vote for Obama. Or: I'm going to not vote for McCain. Or: Man, these rallies are so much more uplifting than John McCain's.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 9:35 PM

Sofi, hi baby girl - yeah, all Americans are actually named Joe...please keep that a secret, ok?

God, McCain seriously, seriously sounds like a pissy little bitch! He sounds just like my employees - "it's the way she said it." Also, quit fucking interrupting!

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:36 PM

McCain does write furiously every time Obama opens his mouth, but Obama just sits and listens to McCain. I like what's going on right now, even though my blood boils when McCain spouts his nonsense.

Oh wait, I just saw Obama write while McCain was talking about terrorists.

Posted by: Alexandra at October 15, 2008 9:38 PM

McCain's hypocrisy and out and out lies are making me want to throttle him.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:38 PM

Is John McCain acting as though his feelings are hurt? Is really going to sit there and waste time PRETENDING that he cares what's written on a co-ed's t-shirt at a democratic convention? Like he's offended?!!

You know what. I'm offended.

I'm ready for the GOP to dig a hole and build a city in hell. Happily ever after, yellow brick road, there's no place like home... in motherfucking hell.

Posted by: J_Capri at October 15, 2008 9:38 PM

Is McCain trying to use Morse Code with his eyes?

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:39 PM

My God these guys are the oldest infants I've ever seen.

Posted by: Eep at October 15, 2008 9:39 PM

So....we're meant to focus on Obama's "relationship" with Ayers, but we should totally ignore McCain's "relationship" with Bush?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:40 PM

OH, VP questions, here we go.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:40 PM

these are some of the BEST questions I've seen.

Holy Shit.

I suddenly love Bob Scheifer.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:40 PM

Oh and just FYI - the fact that McCain mentioned ACORN again is a smear tactic. Ass.

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:41 PM

Best question ever. GO GET HIM OBAMA!

Posted by: Rachelopoly at October 15, 2008 9:41 PM

Why is Biden better than Palin? Oooooh... this might take a while...

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:41 PM

Dear Senator McCain,

I did not give you permission to use my likeness or my name in your debate. Please cease and desist at once or you will come to know the strength of my plumber hand.

Regards,

JTP

Posted by: joe the plumber at October 15, 2008 9:41 PM

I'm adopting Bob Scheifer as my grandfather.

Posted by: BlueBombardier at October 15, 2008 9:42 PM

How much do you bet that McCain doesn't say a single word about Palin's worth? I'm betting he uses his whole time to smear Biden.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:42 PM

I can't believe McCain - acting all innocent and as if he's the victim.

He's supposed to be on the attach, but just seems like a little kid having a temper tantrum.

And I can't wait to hear Whinypants' response to why Palin is a good running mate.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 9:42 PM

We are allowed to use the word cunt on McCain's women because he did it first.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:42 PM

Little known fact, Anne: McCain invented Morse code back in 1832...he used Samuel Morse as a fake name.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:42 PM

Do we have to drink if they say Joe Biden?

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

"Americans have gotten to know Sarah Palin. She is a role model for women."


Oh... ... ... God kill... everyone in the room.

Posted by: jcaprib@gmail.com at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

Like these questions better! McCain: why did you pick an uneducated, small-minded, hypocritical beauty queen bitch who just got her passport last year - as your running mate?

Posted by: Algator at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

Oh dear god. Sarah Palin is my role model?! Say it ain't so.

Posted by: Rachelopoly at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

Yes, a bresh of freth air.

I need some of that.

Special needs families!!!!!!!!

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

Palin's a rolemodel for women? Really? Huh.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

FUCK.
NO.

He DID NOT just call Palin a role model for women.

Fuck you, McCain. You have no clue what I consider a role model.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:43 PM

Did not mean to give up my email address. Please don't email me angry republicans.

Posted by: J_Capri at October 15, 2008 9:44 PM

She saw corruption and resigned? What, hasn't she looked in a mirror since that whole "you divorced my sister-in-law, I'm going to ruin your life" debacle?

Posted by: BlueBombardier at October 15, 2008 9:44 PM

"excited a base in the Republican party"

Awesome.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:44 PM

How dare you question my VP candidate? She's from Alaska, god dammit. She has a retard baby! And glasses! Don't you know people with glasses are fucking smart and shit?

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:44 PM

If that meat puppet is a role model, I am raising my girls as men.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:45 PM

Did he just say that the first Gulf war was about oil?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:45 PM

Ah, indeed, Marra! Dot-Dot-Dot Vote-For-Me Dot-Dot-Dot.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:46 PM

Heh. McCain said "Cockamamie."

Posted by: Alexandra at October 15, 2008 9:46 PM

If McCain says Obama is going to raise our taxes one more time I will reach across the country and punch his throat.

Posted by: Rachelopoly at October 15, 2008 9:47 PM

"Climate change"

Well played, McCain. I'm sure Cameron Diaz is about to tattoo your face on her ass.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:47 PM

McCain just said "Intensive purposes"!!!!!! what a dip.

Posted by: TheSharp at October 15, 2008 9:47 PM

McCain is a vile pig. His condescending attitude toward Obama is just disgusting.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:48 PM

McCain's got some love for Canada....'s oil. I bet McCain's mad he signed the Oregon treaty now.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:48 PM

Canadian oil is O.K. Fuck you asshole we don't belong to you.

And where do you think you'll get your uranium? Canada. Apparently we are McCain's savior for energy.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 9:49 PM

Obama is a leftie. I'd not noticed that before.

Go South Paws!

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:49 PM

Dear Senator McCain,

Fuck you sideways.

I have worked too damn m'effing hard to have you insult my collective intelligence with your idiotic assertion that Sarah Palin is a role model for me.

I am calling Bullshit and Shenanigans.

And fuck you sideways again.

Yours in Disgust,

Women

Posted by: Women at October 15, 2008 9:49 PM

Hey now guys, McCain's having very dry eyes-he can't help it.

Posted by: Laura at October 15, 2008 9:49 PM

How dare you question my VP candidate? She's from Alaska, god dammit. She has a retard baby! And glasses! Don't you know people with glasses are fucking smart and shit?

Posted by: Marra


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA --- I love you!

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:50 PM

Ok, I lied, I've been watching as the Dodgers bat. McCain looks panicked and I absolutely love that he suggested that Obama's campaign has been as personally ugly. "Well (sputters) I've heard about things said at YOUR rallies. And how dare you insult the vets that come to mine?"

HE DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU WRINKLY DILDO! HE CALLED OUT PALIN FOR NOT ACKNOWLEDGING AND REBUKING THE TERRORIST AND KILL HIM REMARKS!! GAH!!!

Back to baseball. I can't be angry right now, it's "The Phillies are almost in the World Series" Day.

Posted by: Julie at October 15, 2008 9:50 PM

McCain is a vile pig.

Hey, Cindy, would you say he's a barrel of pork?

Posted by: BlueBombardier at October 15, 2008 9:51 PM

"you really have to pay attention to words"

Wow. Yeah. I learned that one awhile ago. Words are tricky sometimes when you don't fucking listen.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:51 PM

I'd love to name my dogs Bullshit and Shenanigans. Those would be awesome names.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:52 PM

Quick...somebody make Palin point out Colombia on a map.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:52 PM

Oh my God, this guy is an arrogant asshole!!!

OK, people who act like HIM are the reason foreigners aren't so crazy about Americans.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:52 PM

He said he was "Very Eloquent" as if he wasn't supposed to be. I say we make Obama an honorary Eloquent.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 9:53 PM

I'd love to name my dogs Bullshit and Shenanigans.

I'm pretty sure my neighbors just heard me laughing.

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 9:53 PM

Sofia, "aren't so crazy" is a very polite way of putting it.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:53 PM

I hope McCain falls down some stairs and can't get up again. That ought to wipe that sarcastic smile off his face.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 9:53 PM

Has McCain been to Colombia? That cocky ass smirk would be less ridiculous if he has.

Can't really picture him traveling much, though. Advanced age and all.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:54 PM

Obama should travel south of the border?! Should Palin LEAVE THE COUNTRY?!

Posted by: Rachelopoly at October 15, 2008 9:54 PM

Dear Senator McCain,

Fuck you sideways.

I have worked too damn m'effing hard to have you insult my collective intelligence with your idiotic assertion that Sarah Palin is a role model for me.

I am calling Bullshit and Shenanigans.

And fuck you sideways again.

Yours in Disgust,

Women

Posted by: Women at October 15, 2008 9:49 PM

I've never considered being a lesbian until now. I love women

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 9:54 PM

WOOOOO Detroit!!! ((I'm drinking whiskey))

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 9:55 PM

Senator McCain,

Please see above comments by Joe the Plumber and Women. Spin and rotate.

Thank you,

Canada

Posted by: Canada at October 15, 2008 9:55 PM

Senator Obama should travel to Colombia! Just like when I told him to travel to Iraq!....and then he went........but I made fun of him anyway! Cuz I am craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy! Woooooooo! Batshit insane! You like this? I got a whollllllllleeeeeeeeee lot more of it!

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 9:55 PM

OMG, I cannot take his smarmy, condescending attitude for 4 years. PLEASE AMERICANS, I beg you, don't fuck us again!!

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

For those unfamiliar, I was raised in Detroit.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

Colombia ~~~~~> Iran

Fuck Segues
McCain '08

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

Optimus, darling, your ideas make me crave for your embrace.

Obama for Honorary Eloquent!

Mr. Obama, you can also have the RattlerDildOscar.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

I'm in Toledo, WOOOO! ((I'm drinking Everclear))

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

Two women, Jill Ovarian cancer and Jane Lyme Disease, are very worried right now.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

COME ON NADER! DO IT ALREADY!

You just fucking know he's right behind that wall, wearing nothing but a giant Kool-Aid Man suit, waiting - just waiting for the right time to pop out. He's got two tranquilized security guards at his feet, he's got his escape route planned, he's licking at the fine perspiration gathering on his upper lip...

NOW, NADER NOW! THEY'VE RECOGNIZED YOUR CAR IN THE PARKING LOT! NOW'S THE TIME! GO, GODAMMIT, GO!

I want me a futuristic space car...

And a robot maid...

With a robocooter...

GO NADER, YOU SKEKSIS-LOOKIN' MOTHERUCKER! GO!

....oop, Wendel just burped up some... chili? Is that chili? I'll be back...

Posted by: Skitz at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

How much do health care premiums cost in the US?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

I love Obama's health insurance plan. As a single mother with no insurance, it made me sit up and listen.

Posted by: Alexandra at October 15, 2008 9:59 PM

Two women, Jill Ovarian cancer and Jane Lyme Disease, are very worried right now.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

I just snorted chicken out of my nose! That was awesome!

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 9:59 PM

....oop, Wendel just burped up some... chili? Is that chili? I'll be back...
I just choked on my vodka tonic.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 9:59 PM

Joe the fucking plumber. Again.

AND MY FRIEND!

Fuck me.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:00 PM

Skitz...um...what the fuck?

Although I'll be honest, if Nader did neutralize guards in a kool aid suit, I would totally vote for him.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:00 PM

I want to find Joe the plumber and slap him across the face. DO NOT SPEAK TO THE OLD EVIL MAN! What did yo mamma tell you!

Posted by: gapingmaw at October 15, 2008 10:00 PM

Did McCain just advocate exercise and VA hospitals*?! That's almost as bad as Scientology.

**Walter Reed**

I bet Joe is watching Baseball.

Posted by: amanda47 at October 15, 2008 10:01 PM

Zero! *blink* *blink* *blink*
Fuck you McCain, Fuck you and your Reaganomics.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 10:01 PM

If McCain makes a Joe The Plumber hand puppet and talks directly to it I'll lose it.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 10:01 PM

Best Debate Moment: McCain open mouthed. No fine, small business exempt.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:01 PM

"0??" that look on McCain's face is PRICELESS.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 10:01 PM

Joe The Plumber is getting a LOT of attention tonight (Do you think he is related to Joe Six Pack??).

Posted by: Laura at October 15, 2008 10:02 PM

How much do health care premiums cost in the US?

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 9:57 PM

I pay $50/paycheck every two weeks, $20 co-pay for each office visit, $10 co-pay for x-rays, $10 co-pay for each prescription, $250 deductible every year, and 10% of all my visits after I've paid paid my $250 deductible, except for yearly exams.

That's just healthcare. I also have separate dental and vision.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 10:02 PM

Once again, hello Mr. McCain this is Canada. We have universal health care. we're fine. Stay away from our natural resources.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:02 PM

What was that bit about Canada and England? I missed that.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:02 PM

Screw it. I'm voting for Obama. McCain obviously has no idea where he is...

Posted by: Conrad (last name withheld) at October 15, 2008 10:03 PM

If you give Joe $5,000, he will buy $5,000's worth of six-packs. Because he is Joe Six-Pack.

How the fuck do you think he got his name.

Posted by: BlueBombardier at October 15, 2008 10:03 PM

My husband works for a company that sues Insurance Companies for failure to pay. Insurance companies are fuckers, they basically have built into their system, at every level, ways of refusing to provide agreed upon coverage or pay doctors.
Obama's interest in regulating the industry would be massively welcome. Second to that, McCain just took a swipe at it by saying "Well, if you like a system like that, you'd love Canada or England." Well, when we lived in England I could get Xrays for free, regardless of my insured/uninsured status. So yeah, I do like systems like that.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:03 PM

How is taxing health care benefits for the first time NOT raising our taxes?

Posted by: Rachelopoly at October 15, 2008 10:03 PM

I have arrived.

And who the motherfuck is Joe?

Posted by: h0p3 at October 15, 2008 10:04 PM

If McCain makes a Joe The Plumber hand puppet and talks directly to it I'll lose it.

I know someone with a Joe The Plumber Meat Puppet... But I think that's something else entirely.

But I'll get back to you.

Posted by: Kayanne at October 15, 2008 10:04 PM

Joe The Plumber is getting a LOT of attention tonight (Do you think he is related to Joe Six Pack??).

Posted by: Laura at October 15, 2008 10:04 PM

I just think it's annoying that the middle class can be reduced to a fucking Archie character. We are not Joe Sixpack and Jill Winebox, we are not Joe the Plumber. Fucking shut up already.

And kalafraja my premium is around $200 a month, and I'm young, healthy, and white, which is a pretty good demographic to be. That doesn't include dental and pharmaceutical.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:04 PM

ncnn, wow, I had no idea.

That is unbelievable to me.

Senator Government is the greatest Transformer ever.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:05 PM

I am Joe the motherfucking plumber.

And I wouldn't mind living in Canada or the UK. They have cool accents! And beer!

Posted by: Joe the Plumber at October 15, 2008 10:06 PM

oh my god! i thought mccain was just about to jump through the television and attack me!

at least he wouldn't hit my face (unless maybe a head-butt)

Posted by: foursweatervests at October 15, 2008 10:07 PM

Oooh Roe V Wade question! Aaaand... GO!

Posted by: Gabs at October 15, 2008 10:07 PM

Ooh, Roe v. Wade...

Posted by: Alexandra at October 15, 2008 10:07 PM

What is this golden insurance plan for transplants and face lifts? Hmmm, which to choose?

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:08 PM

Roe v. Wade!!! Marra, I think Jill Two-Tequila-Shots is gonna be mentioned pretty soon!

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 10:08 PM

"I'm a Federalist."

He actually edited the first version of the Federalist Papers with Alexander Hamilton and James Madison. It's true. Cuz he's old as fuck.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 10:08 PM

Oh boy. Roe v. Wade..

Bless you Bob.

So McCain believes choice for women should be decided by the states? Oh bloody fantastic.

Posted by: gapingmaw at October 15, 2008 10:09 PM

Joe T. Plumber and Joe Six Pack are cousins. One lives in Michigan and one lives in Florida. One sells hand puppets and the other is a pollworker.

Posted by: Catherine at October 15, 2008 10:09 PM

I realized that if Obama came up to me and said, "If you give me a beej, I will save the country." I would reply, "Yes, I would do it for free."
Needless to say, I love the man.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 10:09 PM

Senator Government is the greatest Transformer ever.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:05 PM

I just peed a little.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:10 PM

Stay out of my uterus John McCain.

Posted by: Rachelopoly at October 15, 2008 10:10 PM

Did McCain answer the Roe v Wade question? I'm seriously asking - I missed it.

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 10:10 PM

Obama supports Roe v Wade. It is SO nice to have someone FINALLY stand up for women's right to choose.

GREAT answer, Sen Obama.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 10:11 PM

Sofia, and her friend Jane Faux-lesbian for male attention. She's such a whore!

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:11 PM

Just look at him.

Me bad! bachomp bachomp bachewy chomp!

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:12 PM

Screw it. I'm voting for Obama. McCain obviously has no idea where he is...

Posted by: Conrad (last name withheld) at October 15, 2008 10:12 PM

ncnn, wow, I had no idea.

That is unbelievable to me.

Senator Government is the greatest Transformer ever.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:05 PM

It gets worse. My parents are retired, have enough of an income to not worry about day to day living; HOWEVER, when my step-father turned 65, he went on Medi-Care, so his healthcare is covered by the government. My mother, on the other hand, had a choice of paying $800/month just for healthcare (doesn't include prescriptions) or having no health care. So for the next two years, she will have no healthcare benefits, and has to hope she'll stay healthy for those two years. She gets most of her prescriptions at Wal-Mart, but is going to have to look to (wait for it) CANADA to get her asthma medicine, because it's over $300 for one month's dose here, and about $90 in Canada. SHE CANNOT AFFORD HEALTHCARE. Period. Retired, financially secure, but not rich. Can't afford to pay $800/month for healthcare. It SUCKS.

Welcome to the USA.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 10:13 PM

What is this golden insurance plan for transplants and face lifts? Hmmm, which to choose?

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:14 PM

McCain said he wouldn't use a litmus test, but anyone who supports roe v. wade wouldn't be qualified anyway??? did he just say that???????

Posted by: pixie. at October 15, 2008 10:14 PM

Did he just say the "pro-abortion movement in America"? I hope there's no such thing. Creeepy

Posted by: amanda47 at October 15, 2008 10:14 PM

pixie., I think he forgot what his point was halfway through. :/

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:15 PM

Obama supports Roe v Wade. It is SO nice to have someone FINALLY stand up for women's right to choose.

GREAT answer, Sen Obama.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 10:16 PM

I realized that if Obama came up to me and said, "If you give me a beej, I will save the country." I would reply, "Yes, I would do it for free."
Needless to say, I love the man.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 10:16 PM

McCain said he wouldn't use a litmus test, but anyone who supports roe v. wade wouldn't be qualified anyway??? did he just say that??????? I think that mccain head wasgoing to pop off when obama mentioned birth control...

Posted by: pixie. at October 15, 2008 10:16 PM

Nice answer from Obama.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:16 PM

does mccain have a cold? is he a mouth-breather? or can he just not hold in his derision? what is up with the heavy breathing?

Posted by: foursweatervests at October 15, 2008 10:16 PM

If rich white men had the ability to get pregnant, gain 30-50 pounds, get swollen feet and look big for 9 months...I be a million bucks that abortion would not be an issue at all. FU, I'm a woman and it's my body!!!

Posted by: Algator at October 15, 2008 10:17 PM

Education as national security threat. GO!

Posted by: Catherine at October 15, 2008 10:17 PM

Awww last question. I was really hoping it'd be "boxers or briefs?".

Posted by: J_Capri at October 15, 2008 10:17 PM

DUDE, there is no "pro-abortion" side. I don't think anyone gets pregnant just so they can have an abortion. Not without universal healthcare anyway...

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 10:17 PM

ncnn, wow, I had no idea.

That is unbelievable to me.

Senator Government is the greatest Transformer ever.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:05 PM

It gets worse. My parents are retired, have enough of an income to not worry about day to day living; HOWEVER, when my step-father turned 65, he went on Medi-Care, so his healthcare is covered by the government. My mother, on the other hand, had a choice of paying $800/month just for healthcare (doesn't include prescriptions) or having no health care. So for the next two years, she will have no healthcare benefits, and has to hope she'll stay healthy for those two years. She gets most of her prescriptions at Wal-Mart, but is going to have to look to (wait for it) CANADA to get her asthma medicine, because it's over $300 for one month's dose here, and about $90 in Canada. SHE CANNOT AFFORD HEALTHCARE. Period. Retired, financially secure, but not rich. Can't afford to pay $800/month for healthcare. It SUCKS.

Welcome to the USA.

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 10:18 PM

Of course we feel for those young women making tough choices. Of course we're going to take their right to choose away. Of course.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:19 PM

Thank you! I'm so fucking sick of us shouting We're #1! We're #1! when we aren't number one in anything.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:19 PM

Pro-abortion?!!!

McCain doesn't like Obama's eloquence, so he must be Anti-Education.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:20 PM

Did he just say EDUCATION was the civil rights movement on the century? Really?! THAT'S the one? Not, say, Gay Marriage?

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:20 PM

Teachers don't require examinations or qualifications?

Yes. That will improve things.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:20 PM

Quick question: Is by saying that education is the Civil Rights Movement of this century, does John McCain mean that African-Americans are the reason why our education levels are down? I mean...he then used New Orleans as an example.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 10:21 PM

So America is now going to have unqualified teachers? Wow that should help with the education issue.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:22 PM

Did he just say EDUCATION was the civil rights movement of the century? Really?! THAT'S the one? Not, say, Gay Marriage?

Oh, really, McCain? Reward teachers, but not with money? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF?

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:22 PM

I am so goddamn tired of McCain and that bitch Sarah Palin using her child as a cause, just because the baby has down syndrome. It's a fucking child, that as far as I can guess, she doesn't even like...I'm studying to be a teacher for children with special needs (which is the proper language; person-first. child with special needs, not special needs baby, disabled child) and everytime Palin or McCain bring Trig (or track or crane or dumptruck, whatever the kid's name is) up, I want to hit something...usually one of them. Oh she didn't abort her baby with down syndrome; well no shit, she's pro-life. And we're supposed to applaud her for having the baby anyways? Which basically means that because the child has a disability, he's of less value. What the fuck, does this woman think the country is made up of Peter Singers? Now I may not believe in God or heaven or hell, but for Palin, I'll make an exception. She's going to that very special kind of hell, where they beat you bamboo sticks, light you on fire, and then tell you they're letting you leave, only to rick-roll you and then beat you some more.

Ugh, I'm gonna take a page out of Dustin's book and stare at Ryan Reynolds now. Christ, i need a drink...

Posted by: Leigh at October 15, 2008 10:22 PM

$5 says McCain appeals to Joe The Plumber again in his closing remarks. Anyone?

Posted by: Catherine at October 15, 2008 10:22 PM

Free market schools then? Should parents send their children to other states?

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 10:22 PM

Oh my God!!!! Did McCain just say that he wants people to go straight from the military and into teaching without having to bother with exams??? Yeah, that'll improve the quality of education.

Posted by: Alexandra at October 15, 2008 10:22 PM

I would like a tally on our "did he just say..." comments about McCain. There's been loads of that shit tonight.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:23 PM

Wow John. Just Wow.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:23 PM

Algator: Amen, sister.

Posted by: AuntieMurry at October 15, 2008 10:24 PM

Pro-abortion?!!!

McCain doesn't like Obama's eloquence, so he must be Anti-Education.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:24 PM

$5 says McCain talks about his friend Joe the Plumber in his closing remarks. Anyone?

Posted by: Catherine at October 15, 2008 10:24 PM

I should have watched my Netflix instead of this tripe. No new info here, ugh.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:25 PM

I am so goddamn tired of McCain and that bitch Sarah Palin using her child as a cause, just because the baby has down syndrome. It's a fucking child, that as far as I can guess, she doesn't even like...I'm studying to be a teacher for children with special needs (which is the proper language; person-first. child with special needs, not special needs baby, disabled child) and everytime Palin or McCain bring Trig (or track or crane or dumptruck, whatever the kid's name is) up, I want to hit something...usually one of them. Oh she didn't abort her baby with down syndrome; well no shit, she's pro-life. And we're supposed to applaud her for having the baby anyways? Which basically means that because the child has a disability, he's of less value. What the fuck, does this woman think the country is made up of Peter Singers? Now I may not believe in God or heaven or hell, but for Palin, I'll make an exception. She's going to that very special kind of hell, where they beat you bamboo sticks, light you on fire, and then tell you they're letting you leave, only to rick-roll you and then beat you some more.

Ugh, I'm gonna take a page out of Dustin's book and stare at Ryan Reynolds now. Christ, i need a drink...

Posted by: Leigh at October 15, 2008 10:26 PM

And stroke in...3........2........1......

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:27 PM

Trig (or track or crane or dumptruck, whatever the kid's name is) That made me snort. Dumptruck Palin. Heeee.

Also, I enjoy this 'vouchers' ''charters'' 'also, vouchers!' thing they're doing now.

Posted by: Gabs at October 15, 2008 10:27 PM

Pro-abortion?!!!

McCain doesn't like Obama's eloquence, so he must be Anti-Education.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:27 PM

Free market schools then? Should parents send their children to other states?

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 10:28 PM

OMG, he said my Friends.

I AIN'T YER FRIEND.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 10:28 PM

I am PWNING him, HEGHH???

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 10:28 PM

I am so goddamn tired of McCain and that bitch Sarah Palin using her child as a cause, just because the baby has down syndrome. It's a fucking child, that as far as I can guess, she doesn't even like...I'm studying to be a teacher for children with special needs (which is the proper language; person-first. child with special needs, not special needs baby, disabled child) and everytime Palin or McCain bring Trig (or track or crane or dumptruck, whatever the kid's name is) up, I want to hit something...usually one of them. Oh she didn't abort her baby with down syndrome; well no shit, she's pro-life. And we're supposed to applaud her for having the baby anyways? Which basically means that because the child has a disability, he's of less value. What the fuck, does this woman think the country is made up of Peter Singers? Now I may not believe in God or heaven or hell, but for Palin, I'll make an exception. She's going to that very special kind of hell, where they beat you bamboo sticks, light you on fire, and then tell you they're letting you leave, only to rick-roll you and then beat you some more.

Ugh, I'm gonna take a page out of Dustin's book and stare at Ryan Reynolds now. Christ, i need a drink...

Posted by: Leigh at October 15, 2008 10:28 PM

Pro-abortion?!!!

McCain doesn't like Obama's eloquence, so he must be Anti-Education.

Oh, and just because someone was in the military doesn't qualify him to be a teacher.

Posted by: Cindy at October 15, 2008 10:28 PM

Obama is so good. He just keeps going when McCain cuts him off, continue to remain on point, doesn't let McCain ruffle his feathers.

McCain needs to give up. What a condescending fucker.

Did he just snort??

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 10:29 PM

Closing Remarks Tally - McCain

my friends - 1
9/11 - 1
spending - 2
honour - 5 (?)
steward - 2

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:29 PM

You know, McCain stumbling and bumbling through his closing comment is only allowing Obama to sound presidential in comparison. Again.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:30 PM

I hope you give me an opportunity...because if not, I'm going to steal it. I'm a maverick, bitches, that's how I roll.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:30 PM

Every time I think I can't despise him more, he does that irritating smirk and GWB laugh, interrupts, and acts like a petulant child.

I didn't really loathe him until tonight. If I was in any way undecided, this would have SHOVED me right over to Obama!

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 10:30 PM

Tonight's winner: Bob.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:32 PM

Dear John,

Sorry honey, I didn't have to fight for access to education like Senator and Mrs. Obama. A proud line of Six Pack's, most recently Joe, bought enough beer to fund that for me.

Going to take some 'ludes now. I like the fuzzy feeling.

Love and kisses,
Cindy

Posted by: Cindy McCain at October 15, 2008 10:32 PM

If rich white men had the ability to get pregnant, gain 30-50 pounds, get swollen feet and look big for 9 months...I be a million bucks that abortion would not be an issue at all. FU, I'm a woman and it's my body!!!

Posted by: Algator at October 15, 2008 10:32 PM

Obama says, "I'm not risky, but he is." Nice close.

Posted by: Catherine at October 15, 2008 10:32 PM

Honour? John McCain ain't no elitist. Get that fucking "u" out of there.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at October 15, 2008 10:32 PM

Bloody hell, I missed most of the debate. Whatever. You know who actually won tonight? CHILE, motherfuckers, 1-0 over Argentina.

And I'm going for another drink. Woo hoo!

Posted by: JC at October 15, 2008 10:33 PM

What was the pumping of Senator Spock's hand there?

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 10:34 PM

My Dear Pajibans,

We got more of the same in our election. We'll still take you. We have lots of room in Saskatchewan.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 10:36 PM

Can we elect Bob Scheifer?

Posted by: Catherine at October 15, 2008 10:37 PM

So, I live in the same area as JP there, and our local news stations are flipping out over it. "MEET JOE PLUMBER ON OUR NEWSCAST!"
And the first commercial after the broadcast? Another McCain smear ad about ZOMBLIBERALS.

Posted by: Anne at October 15, 2008 10:38 PM

Fuck yeah, Chile! 'Bout time those Argentinians got what's coming to them. ((I will admit I am slightly biased))

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 10:39 PM

Oh Godtopus, the 2 people from Ohio basically just said they were leaning toward McCain. These are Joe and Jane Sixpack - my neighbors.

Posted by: Lainey at October 15, 2008 10:39 PM

question, was a mistake of the italian translation or mccain did actually talk about autism a lot saying that sarah palin knows the problem very well? I mean if she had autism that would explain sooooo much. last time I checked autism and down syndrome are two different things. way to go old baba.even cindy mccain tried to keep the distance!

Posted by: rio at October 15, 2008 10:40 PM

rio>> McCain did mention autism specifically, but my interpretation of the connection to Palin was that he was talking about special needs children in general. He didn't articulate it very clearly, but I thought the implication was there.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 15, 2008 10:43 PM

I am not elderly, nor am I a homosexual. However, if I were, I'd take the moderator fella home right now and give him oral pleasure like nobody's bidness.

He's like a tall, white Yoda! Tee-Hee!

Enjoy the ride home, McCain - you.... Okay, look, I'm not gonna slam the guy, alright? He honestly believes he's going to do the best for the country he can. Is he old? Yeah? Does he have a bit of a temper? Yes. Was he a soldier that went above and beyond in serving his country? Hell yes. The guy's a raggedy-ass war hero, regardless what the hardcore left wants to say. Does that entitle him for presidency? Fuck. No. Obama is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stagnant leadership. He's got my vote. Period. Does that mean everything MccCain stands for is a load of shit? No. I'm looking toward the future - and while I appreciate the past and everyone that has fought for the freedoms that most of us take for granted, I think McCain is done for. He's a true American and while at times, his fans may come across as rabid hatemongers, he's still a legitimate candidate...

...in closing - fuck you Nader. Where the hell were you? That Kool-aid Man costume cost me a cool seventy-five bones and I'll be damned if I don't get written-up for hooking you up with the tranquilizer gun... Assface.

Posted by: Skitz at October 15, 2008 10:43 PM

Mitt Romney has no fucking clue about anything.

Had Obama on his heels my ass. What the fuck.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:45 PM

I missed the first hour and only caught the end.

Why the hell did McCain have that smug smirk on his face when Obama was talking about abortion? That mannerism of his is really disturbing to me, particularly when he is reacting to solemn issues.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 15, 2008 10:46 PM

Skitz, I think you mean "a bresh of freth air".

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:47 PM

WTF is up with Republicans and eye twitches? First we get Palin giving the secret sexy wink every two seconds, and tonight McCain looked like he overdosed on Primatene. He was all twitchy-guy.

Posted by: Wednesday at October 15, 2008 10:47 PM

You want to win my vote? Give me more tits to leer at, more suckers to overcharge for "fixing leaks", looser pants that show more ass crack, and more beer during my lunch break. Oh yeah, can you find some way to screw over Frank the Electrician? I fucking hate electricians.
---Joe the Plumber

Posted by: branded at October 15, 2008 10:49 PM

heh, I'm watching Fox's coverage - and they are SO pissed; they had a room full of undecided voters and like 5 of them raised their hands and said they were swayed tonight. ALL to Obama's side. I thought Brit was going to guffaw and call them morons.

Posted by: Stella at October 15, 2008 10:50 PM

Admin11, I'm sorry, I just noticed this. Canada isn't short bus special? Didn't you just lambast cartons because they have corners, and bagged milk is better because it's soft? I dunno, that seems a little dumptruck Palin to me.

Although, I do apologize on behalf of John McCain. I promise to do everything in my power (i.e. nothing) to keep him away from your wonderful country.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:51 PM

Marra, I have a sling shot, a roll of loonies, and I live relatively close to the border. I'll defend my nation from McCain 'til my last breath.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 10:52 PM

I got your tits right here, Joe the Plumber. Now go Vote Democrat.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:53 PM

I'm doing what I can stateside, kalafraja, but McCain wants your oil, and I don't think we can keep him from shuffling across the border moaning "brains...I mean, ooiiiiilllll"

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 10:59 PM

Regarding the "they forgot to let you decide" comment about trailing in the polls...it's fair to comment that the election has not occurred yet, but this isn't the AP sportswriters poll, is it? Someone did ask voters questions, right?

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 10:59 PM

Optimus,
You're not biased; you're just in cyberlove, as am I.

Yes, Chile has defeated Argentina for the first time since... ever. And the match was over hours ago and people are still honking outside, so instead of going to sleep I'll just stare at Optimus' name and play the guitar.

Posted by: Sofía at October 15, 2008 11:00 PM

Marra, he's also going to want our freshwater soon, but I'm hoping he forgets about that.

Posted by: kalafraja at October 15, 2008 11:01 PM

So I was just reading through the open thread post debate, and I just need to commend Leigh for making a Peter Singer reference!

Posted by: dene chen at October 15, 2008 11:17 PM

Optimus, it's not bias if your heart's in the honest-to-God right place.

And I'm almost out of alcohol... but wait, is that a bottle of whiskey?

What would Senator Government say? (sorry, just reading the lower half of this thread)

Posted by: JC at October 15, 2008 11:17 PM

Are you playing Devendra? I just learned Little Yellow Spider. But now I am off. Whiskey-soaked, into the night.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 15, 2008 11:17 PM

Having read all the comments, I now see that I am obliged to watch the replay. After two snoozers, it sounds like there were a lot of fireworks in the first hour of this one.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 15, 2008 11:24 PM

Marra at no time did I ever say that bagged milk was better than cartoned milk. I was merely making a statement of fact.

I mean, so what if you can used bagged milk as a pillow, airbag or for motorboat practice, that doesn't mean that cartoned milk isn't just as good.

kalafraja please don't worry. We have a plan. Ask Meaux.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 11:36 PM

at no time did I ever say that bagged milk was better than cartoned milk. I was merely making a statement of fact.

I was an exchange student in Quebec, and the first time I saw bagged milk, I tried to pour out of the mouth of the pitcher (instead of the top corner of the bag) and poured milk everywhere.

Stupid American (I mean, "person from the States.")

Posted by: ncnn at October 15, 2008 11:43 PM

Wha...? I'm just kidding folks, I never watched the debate - hell I've never even voted! I moved underground to live with the Morlocks when I turned thirteen! Ladies, you don't have to shave when you're a Morlock!... any takers?

Posted by: Skitz at October 15, 2008 11:43 PM

Don't feel bad ncnn, the plastic is hard to see. Its because we use fresh moutain spring water and clean air to make it, thus rendering the plastic nearly invisible.

Oh! And baby seal souls.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 15, 2008 11:47 PM

Never seen milk in a bag? Obviously not enough of you have been coffee monkeys!

Posted by: Jay at October 15, 2008 11:48 PM

I stand corrected.

Also...motorboat practice? Hmmm.

Posted by: Marra at October 15, 2008 11:48 PM

There was a debate? I was too busy watching the Phillies spank the Dodgers to go to the World Series. Suckers.

Posted by: Nicole at October 15, 2008 11:59 PM

I have a confession. I haven't watched a single one of the debates. I don't have a TV and I'm not motivated enough to go find one in order to sit through this bullshit.

Posted by: Allingsworth at October 16, 2008 12:02 AM

Marra it's not so much of a hummmm but more of a Ppfpfppffpppppfpfpfpp while moving your face from side to side in a vigorous manner while being face down in a lovely woman's cleavage.

And honestly, if I have to explain this to you then I am afraid no amount of education reform is going to help America.

Jay, I would love to be enlightend as to how you train a monkey to serve coffee.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 16, 2008 12:02 AM

There was a baseball game tonight?

Posted by: Admin11 at October 16, 2008 12:05 AM

Fuck baseball. Chile won at football! (The real football, association football or "soccer")

Posted by: JC at October 16, 2008 12:07 AM

Admin11 I know what motorboating is. But practicing on a bag of milk? I mean, I know breasts are technically milkbags, but you might as well motor two bags of sand.

But your right about American sex ed. No joke: my freshmen roommate - hands down the smartest person I know, who graduated with honors in two hard science degrees - came into college under the impression that it was called a 'boner' because there was an actual bone in the penis. God bless abstinence only education and the Florida Public school system.

Posted by: Marra at October 16, 2008 12:11 AM

Well there's usually a recipe chart, but the finer points of steaming and frothing are generally trial and error along with some advice from your fellow grunts. The big downfall to having a chart is when someone asks for a macchiato, the still-green monkey checks the chart for this as yet unheard recipe, follows the instructions and then is told there's not enough milk in it. The angry monkey is later told "oh, that was a Starbucks customer". Angry monkey fumes over this throwing out of both the rulebook and Italian/English dictionary and declares war.

Posted by: Jay at October 16, 2008 12:11 AM

Fuck two typos in one post - you're, not your and freshman, not freshmen. Fuck it, it's late I'm going to bed.

Posted by: Marra at October 16, 2008 12:13 AM

I love you all. I love you all so very, very much that I think I would offer to have your babies. (If I hadn't spent the last two days discussing just how badly having babies will fuck you up. Regardless, much, much love.)

By the way, did McCain say Palin was a role model for ALL women, or just American? 'Cos seriously, you can keep that crazy bitch to yourselves. Actually, I'm begging you: keep that crazy bitch to yourselves. It's like she won some sort of competition to dig up the only person more stupid that Bush Jr.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at October 16, 2008 12:13 AM

I assure you Marra there is no comparison between the two. Don't ask, lets just say it can get very cold in the Canadian prairies.

Jay, War it is.

scienceGeek, I believe he said roll model for all women. as you can see from the agry tempest above, it did nor go over well.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 16, 2008 12:20 AM

Marra, when did your roommate graduate high school? I don't remember abstinence-only education...

Damn my high-flying violinist connections, dragging me to Carnegie instead of watching the debate with everyone here.

Posted by: Sabrina at October 16, 2008 12:21 AM

I meant role model.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 16, 2008 12:23 AM

sabrina, 2004. In the panhandle, I believe.

Posted by: Marra at October 16, 2008 12:24 AM

Sarah Palin: role model or sexiest role model ever?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV8uEzGuvfc

Posted by: JC at October 16, 2008 12:25 AM

Oba(meh) or (meh)Cain?

Decisions, decisions ...

Got it: Bar/Beer '08

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 16, 2008 1:05 AM

Leigh - Amen. McCain's absolute lunacy aside, I thought his comments that Palin knew more about special needs children than "just about anybody he knew" were ridiculous. I turned to my husband and said "She knows more than, I don't know, a researcher or doctor? A special needs teacher?" The hyperbole is not to be believed. Boyfriend's also not even a year old and she spent about 45 minutes with him before going back to being the governor. What the hell does she know about any of it, frankly?

Also, the fact that she didn't abort Trig while being pro-life doesn't make her a heroine, it simply makes her not a huge fucking hypocrite. Last time I checked, acting in concert with your obnoxiously-espoused beliefs didn't make you a hero.

Don't get me started on this. Seriously. I thought McCain was an absolute disgrace last night and that Obama outreasoned, outcharmed, and outperformed him at every turn - even more so than the other debates. I say that as a Hillary supporter who was bummed she wasn't the candidate. If I was a reasonable Republican (do they exist anymore with these clowns at the helm?) I'd be furious at McCain for his utter lack of responsibility throughout this campaign.

Posted by: samantha t at October 16, 2008 6:53 AM

Obama won it, and I'm irritated that McCain held off saying "My friends" until the last. I just woke up from a gin-induced haze to write this, by the way.

Samantha, as a reasonable Republican who's voting for Obama I agree with you. McCain did himself and his cause no favors whatever last night, and I am incredibly pleased with that. I'm of the "destroy the village in order to save it" school that suggests that the GOP be destroyed utterly, right down to its foundations so it can be remade into a better party without all the nasty extremist bags of douche.

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 16, 2008 7:19 AM

Recently, Leonard Nimoy was on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me on NPR and he said that back in the day, he was at a Star Trek convention and Barack Obama was at the hotel for some other reason. As Barack approached Leonard, he flashed him the "Live long and prosper" salute.

My friends...that in and of itself qualifies the man to be president.

Posted by: TeenieBeenie at October 16, 2008 8:48 AM

One line summary of last night's debate:

McCain: Good job! Good job! (looks at Obama's ass) Let me get my head up in there. (muffled) Good job!

Also, it has been brought to my attention by my little brother that the only reason Joe the Plumber was mentioned was because the Mario Brothers are on the Obama bandwagon. However, he also questioned why those gold coins the plumbers have been harvesting for "campaign contributions" couldn't go towards the bailout. He said, "we're turning a blind eye to all of this".

This is why it rocks to have informed and funny teenage brothers. You don't hear this shit from many kids.

Posted by: Mike R. at October 16, 2008 8:59 AM

Um, apparently Joe the Plumber isn't even registered to vote. I don't know what's douchier - McCain bringing the guy up every 5 minutes, or the guy making the rounds of the major news networks sucking McCain's dick when he can't even vote for him. Somebody call Alanis Morrisette and tell her that THAT is some ironic shit right there.

Posted by: Kolby at October 16, 2008 11:11 AM

Boy those Phillies are somthing, huh?

Posted by: bucslim at October 16, 2008 12:40 PM

WHOOOOOO!!! Oof, even typing loud noises makes my head hurt. Damned celebration hangover.

Posted by: Julie at October 16, 2008 12:43 PM

I thought it was the "Save A Moose Shoot A Beaver" t-shirt...actually the"Shoot Beaver Not Moose" shirt from saveamoose.com that offended McCain? Correct me if I am wrong.

Posted by: Chuck at October 16, 2008 4:33 PM

Dammit Chuck, you can't shoot a Beaver. They are far to wily to get caught in your propaganda. Now, a moose is just stupid enough to knuckle under to your rhetoric.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 16, 2008 11:36 PM

"I'm hoping Nader comes crashing through the back wall, Kool-Aid style..."

Ok, this made me laugh. Hard. At work.

OH YEAH!! DID SOMEONE SAY KOOL-AID??

Posted by: amanda at October 17, 2008 7:31 AM