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Music For Potter Nerds

By | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (25)



quidditch-world-cup-2010.jpg

We have a thing called FM radio in Canada. I know it’s hard to believe. In my particular geographical location we only have three FM stations that I will even consider listening to and they barely pass the listenability standard that I have set for myself. There really is nothing like driving home after a terrible day at work in which one has had to use every last modicum of self control to prevent oneself from forcibly removing people duodenums only to have no choice but to listen to Nickleback on all three stations at the same time. It’s a little known fact that most car accidents and road rage incidents are not caused by human error or anger management problems, they’re caused by an inability to escape shitty rock music. Much like every other god-forsaken top 40 station, they recycle the worst of pop music’s donkey dooks on what seems like an hourly basis. I’m thankful that I don’t have to spend too much time in my car as, if I did, it would no doubt transform into a piloted cruise missile targeted at the next person who happened to cross my path.

Lately I’ve been insulted by that insufferable Like a G6 song by a group whom I don’t need to remember as they’ll inevitably be gone within the next two months and I’ll never have to hear from them again. It seems like it’s on every ten fucking minutes and I’ve actually had the joyous experience of switching to another radio station only to lambasted by this turd deluxe yet again. It’s just a terrible, terrible song and I have enough of a hate for it that I had difficulty making it through what is the admittedly amusing video below.



Between the music and the subject matter I really kind of want to beat up on a few Potter nerds right now.









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Comments

I just hemorrhaged away the memory of years 2004-2007 and the ability to count to ten in Spanish.

Posted by: JR at November 29, 2010 8:11 PM

I love this.


BRING IT, SCOTT!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 29, 2010 8:13 PM

At least it's not Draco and the Malfoys. *Hurk*

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 29, 2010 8:20 PM

Potter nerds?

You are lucky my Avada Kedavra spell doesn't reach that far....yet.

real lucky.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 29, 2010 8:34 PM

Don't worry, I want to hit these people too.

Posted by: Jay at November 29, 2010 8:41 PM

See, this is the advantage of only listening to NPR, I'm completely clueless (except for that damn story they did on Bieber!) of the latest terrible pop songs (of course, I often miss out on the fun ones, too). But my point is, having never heard the original, I was able to simply enjoy the parody tune. Yay me!

Posted by: tamatha at November 29, 2010 9:29 PM

They pronounced Expelliarmus incorrectly.

That is all.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 29, 2010 9:47 PM

The original song is the worst kind of commercial quasi-rap music. The beat, if you will, is interesting and memorable (nice synth tone that doesn't get a lot of play in modern music run through some bass boosting filters and doctored with autotuning shenanigans for some unexpected slides). However, there is no evolution. It doesn't change, it doesn't fade away, and it fights against the vocalists. If there were decent verses, it wouldn't matter, but it's a horrible boasting song by a group of unknown new performers. You have nothing to boast about as you've accomplished nothing as a professional musician other than inking a deal. It does not make you some badass gangsta worthy of people kissing your ass. You can't buy cred (as their label is trying) and expect to have a long career (as they probably expect to).

The Potter nerds did one better on them by altering the beat on their verses. It's subtle and makes their equally shitty lyrics stand out a bit more. However, if I ever meet either the original artists or the Potter nerds in person, I will be tempted to give them what for.

Posted by: Robert at November 29, 2010 9:52 PM

My roommate and I have had this playing on repeat for DAYS. It's so addictive.

Let me see you gettin' nasty with that PUMPKIN JUICE CUP!

Posted by: gee. ay. at November 29, 2010 10:17 PM

If I could challenge you to an iPhone Harry Potter Spell duel, I would so END YOU.

Posted by: SPAGHATTA NADLE (formerly popejenn) at November 29, 2010 10:53 PM

Don't call me Harry Potter cuz my name is H Piddy.

Posted by: lotta at November 29, 2010 11:27 PM

Aw man, I was so hoping this would be a thread for people to compare songs they listen to when they read Harry Potter- I've been making my own soundtracks to the books since Goblet of Fire... *slinks nerdily away*

Posted by: Mari at November 29, 2010 11:41 PM

I hated the G6 song long before I learned what the fuck they were talking about. G6 is slang for the G6 Gulfstream Jet, a ridiculously expensive piece of extravagance that is the newest status symbol among rappers, ie: you know you've made it big if you've got a G6. The rappers are bad enough boasting about their donks riding high on 22's, I'm not really prepared to listen to these coach assholes act like they're fly enough to be flying in a G6. At best, they should be flying on a WWII era Sri Lankan Air flight sitting in an aisle seat with a wire chicken cage on their laps and a glass bottle of warm Coke.

Posted by: EJ at November 30, 2010 12:32 AM

AWWWW SHEEEEYYIIIIITT!! That was off the chain for the Y2K!!

and on that note... the movies can SUCK IT 'cause the books were my muthafuckin' sheeeeeyyiiiiitt!!!

Posted by: Angelina Johnson - Rest In Peace at November 30, 2010 2:22 AM

Uh, Robert? There IS a simple solution to your problem.

You go to the local car stereo dealership, have a CD player installed and you can listen to what you want, when you want!

Personally, I'm more into sports radio, and my musical taste is permanently locked into the 70's. I have no idea what this whole g6 thing is about, and have even less desire to find out.

However, I've been in a similar position (I was living in central CA and only had 1 station to listen to. If I had to listen to that fucking Roger Whittaker and "the last goodbye" one more time I swear I was going to punch pencils through my eardrums!)

Posted by: Uncle JR at November 30, 2010 7:13 AM

I will tell you no lies. I want this song on repeat right now. That cracked me up. And HOLLA to my nerds out here!

Optimus, true words, friend. Ever heard Catchlove? ::ralph::

Mari, I would be curious to hear your list, actually.

Personally, the entire day before the midnight show I had a playlist, half of which was Ministry of Magic. Yeah, I'm that nerd. The hot one.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 30, 2010 9:47 AM

Mari, come back! Do you by chance have a blog with your soundtracks listed? I'd like to read them.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 30, 2010 9:51 AM

Fuckin'-A, both of these songs are now embedded in my brain.
(I just hadda check out the original, too.)

Couldn't suffer alone, could you, Scott?
You hoser.

Posted by: Rykker at November 30, 2010 11:19 AM

This is the 21st century calling Mr. Scott

Buddy, it's called an iPod. Or Sirius. You're killing me.

Posted by: Xtreme at November 30, 2010 3:09 PM

Yeah, I'm that nerd. The hot one.

*bow*
*bow*
*BOW*

To...

The Hot One

*BOW*

Posted by: Rykker at November 30, 2010 5:01 PM

Hey all! Nope, no blog with 'em but here's a few songs that go well with certain moments (I'd be too embarrassed to post the playlists in their entirety as most of them were made during my high school years when my musical tastes were not nearly as advanced...)

Prisoner of Azkaban:
"Not of this world," by Danzig. Song for Werewolf Lupin
Sample Lyric: Not of this world
And nothing bites like I do
Nothing screams out loud
In this empty night
Nothing can keep me from you

Goblet of Fire:

"House of the Rising Sun," Animals. First chapter when Voldemorte's inhabiting his dead father's house

"Cherry Lips," by Garbage, to be played whenever Fleur's around.
Sample Lyric: "With your cherry lips and golden curls, you could make grown men gasp when you go walking past. And in your hot pants and high heels. They could not believe that such a body was for real. It seemed like rainbows would appear. Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear...Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast..."

"Lonely Day," by Phantom Planet. To be played during Harry & Ron's Friendship Cold War.
Sample lyric: I could tell from the minute I woke up, it was going to be a lonely lonely
lonely lonely day. Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes and try to tell myself I can't go back to bed. It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.

"It's Tough to have a Crush," by OK Go. To be played while Harry's pining for Cho Chang.
Sample Lyric: Well it's tough to have a crush when the boy doesn't feel the same way you do. Well it's tough to have a crush, when your best friend breaks the news. Perhaps you'll find me feeling better in a day or two, but it's tough to have a crush on you

Order of the Phoenix:
"Nature Boy," Moulin Rouge version. Song for Harry.
Sample lyric: There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea

A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise
Was he

And then one day
The magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This [Dumbledore] said to [He]

"The greatest thing
You'll even learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return."

"Have You Ever Tried To," Incubus. Angsty Harry moments where he's being a self righteous git.
Sample Lyric: Have you ever tried to step in my shoes?
have you ever tried to balance that beam?
and if you ever try to fit in my shoes
they'll never be quite as soft as they seem

"Superman," Five for Fighting. Song for Harry
Sample Lyric:
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

"Under My Umbrella," Incubus. To be played while Harry's seeing inside Voldemorte's mind
Sample lyric: When I close my eyes... I can see for miles
There's comfort in my dark seat... and chaos in the aisles.

These eyes are not your eyes
and these eyes are not the color that
your arid eyes might be.
No, I was not around
when those eyes of yours decided so
I refuse to kneel before the

"Hide & Seek," Imogen Heap OR "The Godfather, Pt 2," by Harry & The Potters. When Sirius dies:
Sample lyric: You never kept me waiting
You never kept me waiting
Come back now
Come back now
Come back now
Beyond the veil...
I know you're there
You never kept me waiting


"This Old Wound," Dashboard Confessional (I know, I knoooow), after Sirius dies, POV Harry
Sample Lyrics: Well I've been bleeding well from this old wound,
Cleaning it with salt, so it will still feel new.
And sometimes eyes turn black, and sometimes scars are tracks.
But every time you're gone,
I wish that you'd come back.

And everyone watched me waste myself,
and everyone cheered at last.
And all of them found it comforting.
It's better it's me, than them.

"I Miss You," Avril Lavigne (uck, but the song's perfect for how Harry feels about Sirius' death)
Sample Lyric:
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same…
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone, now you're gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere you're not coming back

Half Blood Prince:
"Warning Sign," Local Natives, to be played during "The Other Minister" Chapter
Sample Lyrics: Warning sign
Warning sign
I hear it, but I pay no mind…
Warning sign of things to come
Happened before, it'll happen again...
Warning sign of things to come
Love is here, but I guess it's gone now

"Mister Brightside," by The Killers. To be played when Harry's jealous of Ginny
Sample lyric: Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go

And I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies

"Styrofoam Plates," Death Cab for Cutie. To be played during Voldemorte's past re:his father
Sample lyrics: There's a saltwater film on the jar of your ashes; I threw them to the sea,
but a gust blew them backwards and the sting in my eyes
that you then inflicted was par for the course just as when you were living.
It's no stretch to say you were not quite a father
but the donor of seeds to a poor, single mother that would raise us alone.
We never saw the money that went down your throat
through the hole in your belly.

"Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh," by Bright Eyes, after Dumbledore dies:
Sample Lyric: You said you hate my suffering, and you understood,
And you’d take care of me.
You'd always be there.
Well, where are you now?
Haligh, Haligh, an awful lie.
This weight would now be satisfied.
I'm gonna give you only one reply,
I know not who I am.
But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears.
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided, nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack.
He says the choices were given
And now, you must live them
Or just not live,
But do you want that?

"Full of Grace," Sarah McLaughlin (courtesy of Becoming Pt 2 from Buffy). Dumbledore's Funeral
Sample Lyric: The winter here is cold, & bitter
It's chilled us to the bone,
I haven’t seen the sun for weeks,
Too long, too far from home.
I feel just like I’m sinking,
And I claw for solid ground,
I’m pulled down by the undertow,
I never thought I could feel so low,
And oh darkness I feel like letting go.

If all the of the strength and all of the courage,
Come and lift me from this place,
I know I can love you much better than this,
Full of grace

"Knock 'em Dead," Dashboard Confessional. Dumbledore's funeral
Sample lyric:
This basket arrives
To show your condolence
You hope that it finds me well
And just in time
This loss was unbearable
But now I have flowers
A thoughtful, blooming bright arrangement
I can out live too

Dress the corpse in his best
We only have one shot
To knock 'em dead
A toast to the way he left us
Counting our blessings
Holding our heads
We better speak up
We better say something
We better believe ourselves for once
'Cause he never said help
He never said anything
In the way that we dreamed ourselves to appear
It's only in this silence
That I can hear him screaming
On and on alone

"Til Kingdom Come," when Harry's being all noble with Ginny
Sample lyric: In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

"I'll Stand By You," The Pretenders, when Ron and Hermoine vow to stick with Harry till the end
Sample lyric: And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Deathly Hallows
"Staying Alive," by The Beegees. Cheesy I know but that's the point ;)

"White Wedding," Billy Idol
"Wedding Bell Blues," 5th Dimension. Fleur & Bill's wedding
Sample lyrics: Bill, I love you so, I always will
I look at you and see the passion eyes of May
Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day
I was on your side Bill, when you were losin'
I'd never scheme or lie Bill, there's been no foolin'
But kisses and love won't carry me 'till you marry me Bill

"How the Gods Kill," Danzig, when Harry's walking to his meet Voldemorte and die- so chilling and haunting
Sample lyrics: If you feel alive
If you got no fear
Do you know the name
of the one you seek
if you want the answer
if you want the truth
look inside your empty soul
there you'll find the noose…
Show me how the gods kill

"Winter," Joshua Radin, Dumbledore's remorse over his family
Sample lyrics: I could have lost myself
In rough blue waters in your eyes
And I miss you still
Oh I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don't have to make this mistake
And I don't have to stay this way
If only I would wake

"Say Hello, Wave Goodbye," David Gray, when Harry & Dumbledore are in Harry's dream King Cross after Voldemorte's "killed" Harry. The tone and melody of the song are so bittersweet and heartbreaking, fitting for their goodbye

"Renegades of Funk," & "Killing in the Name of," Rage Against the Machine, to be played when everyone's fighting Voldemorte during the final battle
Sample Lyric: No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now
We're the renegades in this atomic age
This atomic age of renegades…
ow renegades are the people with their own philosophies
They change the course of history
Everyday people like you and me
We're the renegades, we're the people
With our own philosophies
We change the course of history
Everyday people like you and me

Sample lyric: Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites…
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me

"Stone Free," Jimi Hendrix, after Voldemorte's defeated
Sample lyric: Stone free to ride on the breeze
Stone free do what i please
Stone free i can't stay
Stone free i got to i got to get away
Stone free go on down the highway
Stone free don't try to hold me back baby
Stone free oh yeah baby
Stone free got to got to get away
Stone free goodbye baby

"Float On," Modest Mouse to end the book
Sample lyric: Alright already we'll all float on.
Alright already we'll all float on.
Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy.
We'll all float on...alright. Already we'll all float on.
Alright already we'll all float on, ok.
Don't worry we'll all float on.
Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on.

Misc:
"My Beloved Monster," The Eels- song for Hagrid
Sample Lyric: My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean

"Mud Football," Jack Johnson, getting ready to go to Hogwarts in the later books
Sample lyrics: Monday morning and it's time to go
Wet trunks and schoolbooks and sand on my toes
Do anything you can to dodge the bus-stop blues
Like driving a padiddle with a burnt-out fuse...
We used to laugh a lot
But only because we thought
That everything good always would remain
We used to laugh a lot
But only because we thought
That everything good always would
Everything good always would remain

"Where is my mind?" The Pixies

"Doorbell," The White Stripes, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing," Jack Johnson, both when Harry's waiting to be picked up at his house by Dumbledore in HBP

"Untouchable Face," Ani DiFranco, Hermoine's HBP heartbreak over Ron & Lavendar
Sample lyrics: think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but
you're perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

Phew, ok, so that's just a taste of my nerdy HP playlists. Overall, they range from 190-374 songs each. Craaaazy! Anyone have songs that remind them of moments from the books?

Posted by: Mari at November 30, 2010 6:07 PM

Mari, that is amazing. I now have a total crush on you.

Posted by: MN_Jen at December 1, 2010 1:47 AM

Mari, I am in awe. Even though you have a song by Harry and the Potters (Avril I can forgive), I must now do a bit of downloading. And thank you for reminding me of Phantom Planet. Nice guys, good show, good memories.

Rykker - HEEL. Good boy.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at December 1, 2010 10:52 AM

I've read this site for a very long time now, and in finally feeling the impetus to say something is not in regards to the movies that I think you lot review quite well...but in regards to music that I don't even like that much.

Some food for thought:
The group in question (I won't name them since you seem so opposed to knowing) who made this G6 song has actually been around since 2006 and they did not get signed until this year, so they're "new" to mainstream, but their music sure as hell does not deviate too much from what one has come to expect from pop (they do not claim to be rap, they claim to be electro-hop). It is unfortunate in my opinion that G6 is their most infamous song, but it is actually a revolutionary song--and you are clearly not part of the community that is aware of this so I can't fault the extreme hate for it.

How? This group is the first Asian-American group to earn a top ten hit on the Mainstream Pop charts in America (a wonder that it even hit #1). Asian-Americans are not exactly a new group, but we are the community that is ignored the most by media. Yes, there is a market for other races but it's not like Asian-Americans don't put our money where our mouth is, just that studio execs think that a movie is more compelling by sticking Causcasians in a story that originally called for Asians.

And you know what? I'm happy that Asian-Americans can finally also go producing crappy pop music in America without having to flaunt the fact that they're of Asian descent because every other group gets to do without having to stamp their heritage on their head. I feel it's a sign that we're closer to erasing the "forever alien" status we have stamped on us. Even if I still think this is a terrible song, I most certainly do not think, nor hope, that FM is going to be going away anytime soon because they have a ton of support from the Asian-American community to help break some barriers.

And now...back to lurking...

Posted by: Shun at December 1, 2010 6:08 PM

Aw shucks, thanks ladies!

Posted by: Mari at December 2, 2010 4:47 AM