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Mitt Romney Surfaces, Looks Like a Man Whose Van You'd Want Your Children to Avoid

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | November 20, 2012 | Comments ()


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Man, it is rough out there for multimillionaires who just lost their second bid to become President of the United States. Mitt "Sour Grapes" Romney, who has taken a licking from not just the media, but from his own party since losing out to President Obama, was spotted pumping his own gas yesterday. Doesn't he have people for that? How far the poor guy has fallen?

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It's good to see, however, that -- even after the election -- Mitt Romney sticking to his 47 percent line of thinking, informing donors after the election that the reason he lost was because Obama is giving "big gifts" to minorities, like food stamps and welfare checks. That drew criticism even from the right, where George Will -- via Dan Carlson -- made one of the more astute observations about why Romney lost the election: "You got a political problem when the voters don't like you, but you have a real political problem when the voters think you don't like them."



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Purplejebus

    Looks to me like he just left the Kitt-Katt club.

  • Barry Ronk

    Ash, is that you?

  • Purplejebus

    Thank you! I've been trying for the better part of a year to figure out who he reminds me of.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Hahaha!

  • bleujayone

    Nevermind the 47%, by the look of him he just had an all-niter with a bottle of 85%- Mormon or not. And given some of his cracks, he sounds like an angry drinker too.

  • abell

    You know what was weird and unsettling? For maybe a week, right before the election Dustin went out of his way to not be a mean spirited ass and try and make people who had some different beliefs than him a bit more comfortable. However, between this and the Breaking Dawn review, (apparently, he's got a thing against Mormons?), I'm happy to say that the old Dustin that we all know is back.

  • Socraz6

    Can we all agree that the election is over and have this site go back to being about movies and TV? Please?

  • All I can think of when I look at this is those poor schmos who worked to get him elected...and who found that their campaign issued credit cards had been cut off immediately after he lost when they tried to take cabs home the night of the election. Stay classy Mitt.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I hadn't heard that, how incredibly petty.

  • Maguita NYC

    If that does not speak enough of how much disdain Mitt Romney and his people have for the common man, nothing else will.

  • Bloodsucking motherfucker. Hope he throws a lit cigarette while at that gas station and does a Cool Walk Away from the explosion, but accidentally towards it.

  • Socraz6

    Aren't you British Zeke?

  • Well, I live on this vacuous isle, yeah.

  • Stand him next to Fred Willard in a hi-res picture and, well, I just can't tell the difference.

  • Drake

    Fred Willard has BOTH hands in his pants pockets, playing pool.

  • Fredo

    TBF to him, he's likely had a couple of weeks of nightmares ever since the Election. From everything that's been said and reported, he and his people were genuine in their belief that they were going to win. It got to the point they got mad and vindictive against anyone who spoke up and said otherwise.

    In effect, his campaign had become that crazy girl that is certain her boyfriend is about to propose and will get mad with any girl who points out that he's cheating on her with the slutty intern in his office.

  • True_Blue

    So in your analogy, the voters = boyfriend, and Obama = the slutty intern?

  • Maguita NYC

    Of course Obama is the slutty intern: Aren't slutty interns all for the pill and abortion? And please, let us not forget how those slutty interns are all also for gay sex.

    I love you slutty intern.

  • AngelenoEwok

    NO, I love YOU more!

  • Is that a reference to the timeless Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen classic, "To Grandmother's House We Go?"

  • Clancys_Daddy

    It wasn't just his campaign staff. It was pretty well the entire republican party.

  • Skyler Durden

    His hair is a little messed up, but other than that he looks like a regular guy. Believe me, I am a pinko-commie-leftist-librul like most Pajibans, but can we cut the guy a break?

    Being a sore winner is not an attractive quality! Just let him pump his gas, cry in his piles of money, and quietly fade into obscurity.

  • Salieri2

    Amen. Frankly, he looks way more normal here than he ever did while campaigning, and while I would never have voted for him because of the overwhelming majority of his policy opinions or lack thereof, the clear effort he made to appear as normal as this gas-pumping dude just is was off-putting.

    Don't you think he probably feels some relief that the worst of the GOP expectations are over and he's done running for President, most likely forever?

  • AngelenoEwok

    He honestly -- and this is probably the worst insult he could imagine, though I wouldn't mean it that way -- looks like many of the guys I work with/for. I'm a union contract administrator.

  • googergieger

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    Me after the election, until...well forever seems a bit much, but yeah, forever.

  • Archie Leach

    Shouldn't the Filipina maid be doing that? After all successful, important people like the romney's hire those people for just those sort of things.

  • Slash

    OK now, I'll rag on Romney along with everyone else when justified, but two things: comparing the blow-dried, freshly made-up candidate Romney to "guy pumping gas" Romney is kinda unfair. Few of us look great pumping gas in harsh daylight.

    Second, again, Romney was just saying what all the other Republicans are thinking. Don't for a minute think that they disagree with him. They don't. They believe that Obama paid off all of us lazy-ass, welfare- and abortion-loving moochers just like he said. He just made the mistake (again) of saying it out loud. Every Republican spokesperson/dipshit has been saying the same fucking thing for the past 2 weeks, just not quite so explicitly. Because according to them, the Republicans' "brown and black people are lazy, single women are sluts" position would be irresistible to us all if it had been sold properly. If only Romney hadn't fucked it up by being somewhat upfront about it. If only he had found a way to sell us on the opinion that WE (women, black people, Hispanic people, gay people) are what's wrong with America, we would have gladly vaulted him and all the other old white guys into office and helped them "take back America."

    I wonder how Romney feels about being a Republican now. If he had any stones, he'd tell them all to go fuck themselves and register as a Democrat.

  • e jerry powell

    I look fucking fabulous pumping gas in full daylight.

  • Archie Leach

    When the "model minority" of the "hard working", "family-oriented", "fiscally conservative" "asian people" are voting AGAINST you by a margin of over 70% then you HAVE to do some analysis about having joe-the-plumber as your political base.

  • I look fabulous pumping gas in my sweatpants, oversized shirt, and house shoes, thanks.

  • Fredo

    The sad fact is that anytime I hear that government gifts/welfare moocher stuff, I almost always equate it with "brown/black people" and think "Well, that's racist of them."

    The sadder aspect is many of the poor white people I see around the South think that too!

  • e jerry powell

    Just before they take their food stamps down to the convenience store for some unhealthy pre-packaged food.

  • Maguita NYC

    While mumbling that they don't need any government handouts, especially from that "half-breed muslim from Kenya".

    Not shitting you people, watch Alexandra Pelosi's documentaries on how some from the South talk so openly and horrendously about our President!

  • Bert_McGurt

    And wonder where they're going to get the money to pay for all their health problems after eating all that sugar, fat, and sodium.

  • e jerry powell

    Nah, they'll just wonder why they have all those health problems. They're not smart enough to make the connection. Plus which, that Michelle Obama is a Big Gubmint facist, tellin' them what to eat!

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Oh hey guys. What am I up to? Not much, just coming from Nick Nolte's house...no, I don't mean that cardboard box on the corner. His box is on the other side of town."

  • NateMan

    Are we sure he's still Mormon? He looks like an evil version of my father after an all-night bender.

  • Maguita NYC

    Mormon Schmormon! That is simply the look of a self-entitled elitist flip-flopping brat who still blames everybody else for his failures, cannot believe that the majority did not buy his promises, and above everything else, he still cannot forgive the fact that he had to write that concession speech.

  • dizzylucy

    Next we're going to see him wearing sweatpants, throwing back Doritos and Mountain Dew.

  • Groundloop

    While I believe it's a no no for Mormons to partake of caffeine, it would be pretty awesome to see Mittens all hopped up on Dew, jumping around like a wild eyed vilde chaya, covering everything he touches in Dorito dust.

  • Koala Is Not a Bear

    Vilde chaya? Is that you, bubbe?

  • Some Mormons adhere to that rule, but not all of them do. Mr. DaC is a Mormon and goes at Cherry Pepsi like it's the nectar of the gods.

  • abacus123

    To quote Jay Cutler, "Don't care."

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    His just disgusted that there isn't a 47%-er around to pump his gas so he can help them get off of the welfare. It's like they don't even want to work!

  • NateMan

    You're being unfair. Even now Mitt is figuring out how to turn all those lazy bastards on welfare directly into crude oil, thus solving our economic woes and reliance on foreign oil in one fell swoop.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    He should've put NJ gas laws into effect in Massachusetts when he had the chance.

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