Pajiba

It’s just so wonderfully, idiotically, shitballs-retardedly Bay that if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was actually somewhat self-aware.

This. Just this.

...Not to mention that the only non-white model was given about a second of face time.

Even if Michael Bay put on exploding underpants and pink-misted his genitalia, it's not possible for his penis to take up any less space. Fact.

The 1:14 "Explodey Panties" moment was high comedy, intentional or not. Possibly the most efficient snort-generator on the internet today.

I could hear Michael Bay's voice directing this. "Honey, arch your back! CUT!" "Honey, arch your back! CUT!" "Honey, arch your back! CUT!" "Honey, arch your back! CUT!"

(And I'm troubled, because I found the knife-throwing bit a little arousing. Not like I'm going to run off and buy Mrs. Merchant of Fear a set of throwing knives, but still. Ah, the subconscious, where the icky stuff comes out to play and shame us.)

That chick on the pool table is totally breaking league rules.

___________________

That's Marisa Miller, fool!!! I saw her in person once and my crotch instantly went supernova.

True story.

Any guy that doesn't always want to buy his woman underwear has got some FUCKED-UP priorities.

I can't stop thinking about my chick in various combinations of hot-ass undies, nudity, partial nudity, feather boas, with a dead ferret, covered in lamb's-blood holding a whip....

...I'll be in my bunk.

I wouldn't have thought it was possible to be bored during a 90 second video from a celebrity director prominently featuring women in their underwear before I watched this. I had to go back and rewind just to see what happened at 1:14. Either TV and Youtube have seriously fucked my attention span or this Michael Bay is flat out worthless.

I hoping it's the latter. What a tired hack. That wasn't even clever or arousing, just more deadening of the senses.

I can't even begin to think of the underwear my boyfriend would purchase for me. It would likely involve a matching video camera (they look hot in thongs). Or Star Trek.

Dustin. This TOTALLY works. This advert is directed at the same men who watched Transformers. Do I even need to remind you how much money that made? Whether you liked it or not, that worked big time.The fire eating and explosions keep the same type of people who watch transformers interested.

You're making a terrible analysis of advertisements. Few adverts make you want to go out and buy the object immediately. They work in a very subconcious manner. The fact that you see an an advert which is impressive enough means the name of the product being advertised will remain in your brain and if you see the object on a shelf or you want to buy that kind of product you will feel familiar with it even if you have never used the product before. Remaining in the public eye is the most important thing. That's why even companies which everyone knows about like Coca Cola still spends tonnes of money on advertisements.

I don't know. He could have used a little more glycerin. Their bodies just didn't glisten enough for me. And also, where were all the angel wings? Not having angels bursting through explosions was his first mistake. His second was being Michael Bay.

Ha! PB and James, angels would have a welcome addition. Especially if they were holding machine guns and crying about Bruce Willis' martyrdom by 'splodey meteor.

Damn, MM, you're right. Pardon my sacrilege to the Pajidiety. Plus, Godtopus has more arms for the sortin'.

How do you know he's not feeling up mannequins just because he likes feeling up mannequins? Them suckers are pretty lifelike these days. Got nipples and everything.

This video left me a little cold. Couldn't Bay have added some jets and a car chase and ninjas, oh, oh, NINJA DINOSAUR WHIP FIGHTING. That'd make me buy some panties, fo' sho'.

Why would a dude feel up mannequins when he has the real thing? That's dumb.

Jay,

No my friend. Her hotness caused my junk to emit enough man-juice to block out the sun. Remember that really dark day last month where it looked like it should have started raining already but held off for a really long time, then it all came gushing down suddenly?

That was me. You're all pregnant.

Why would a dude feel up mannequins when he has the real thing? That's dumb.

Posted by: Nicole
-------------------------------------------------
Well, we all have our secrets now don't we Nicole?

I don't get the appeal of Victoria's Secret. I have no interest in wearing foamy boobs that stand on their own.

As for the commercials and "shows", those are for the emasculated men who either are afraid to watch porn, or can't afford it.

Nothin' like some plastic strange, right Tracer?

Don't judge me.

OK, 1. I'm usually not too sensitive about this stuff because I get it that lots of models are kind of scary skinny but for those of us in the audience who have visible rib bones when we're healthy, can we ease up off the "skinny = unattractive/unsexy" theme? Thanks. (Looking at you, Jay.) There's plenty to criticize without resorting to that tired "eat a sandwich" routine. Thin ≠ hungry.

2. Further evidence that Michael Bay might actually be self aware:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiHsxQJ9ZOo

3. Commercials like this always make me a little mad that I can't actually just hang out in public in my underwear without everyone making a big gross deal out of it. Pants suck.

Hey gang! Michael Bay here! Just thought I'd let you guys "behind the scenes" and give you an exclusive interview about my creative process! I wrote down some notes while I was editing this together, and I thought I'd share them with you guys!!

Hot! Like in a desert! Wavy lines!

SLIDNG FRAME EFFECT! ZEEOOOOOWWWM!

She's pretty like my mommy! Oooo HELICOPTER! CHOPPA CHOPPA CHOPPA!!

I'd sure like to ride that motorcycle! I bet it goes fast! Ick there's boobies on it.

Lady straddling table with balls and a big cue. Don't forget to reorder ExtenZe.

Clowns and fire! Clowns and fire! Did I just shit my pants?

It's like Moulin Rouge! I can't believe I'm this cool.

Do guys like knives? Whatever, let's chuck some at a lady.

SO MANY DIRTY PILLOWS!

BOOOOOOOOOOM BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM BLARRRCHHHHH KAPOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

So there you go, gang! An exclusive trip into the mind of me, the great and radical Michael Bay.

So, can I have my Emmy now, or do I have to wait until later?

Being slender isn't Marisa Miller's problem though. She's weird looking.

I understand your point, I'm just sick of being sold Hipbones'n'Tits as the pinnacle of desirable year after year, especially when the women aren't even pretty.

"I think VS bras suck anyway, because I have big boobs and their poorly made big-boob-bra underwire warps and disinegrates almost immediately, even with delicates bags. So suck it, VS."

Link to pictures please... of the mangled bras.

I've never thought ladies were too fat. If I can see ribs or hip bones, you're doing it wrong.

You're right, Rusty, I should not have been that harsh. If you're naturally a thin or slender person, then that's the way your body made you and there isn't anything wrong with that. There are plenty of women I find beautiful who are very thin or slender.

I think my point was more about how I don't enjoy having all models be bones and thin skin. I can't even watch Top Model anymore (and that show is so stupidly awesome) because they're all too thin! Even the "plus size" women they feature on that show are way smaller than the national average.

I actually like VS bras. I own like 4 pairs, and they used to belong to my older sister, so they're about 10 years old and almost as good as new. But I only inherit bras from my sisters. I get my own panties, thank you very much.

Rusty I feel like you gave your height/weight before and it was like 5 pounds less than me. Don't worry about people finding these girls gross because they're right. We don't look like that. We're short enough that our weight still equals a healthy BMI. These women weigh about as much as us (or less) plus they're 5'9. I'm sure people just dislike unhealthy looking people which you most certainly are not.

Watching this without the sound on was like watching their catalog move as darling Mr. Bay flips the pages for us. Muting also amplified the comedy of 1:14. But in general...just...ridiculous. Boring. This almost makes me want to stop shopping there (if only their makeup wasn't one of the few in existence that doesn't make me break out and if they didn't give me so much free stuff for not very much, actually.)

I met a few of the models last year at a gig. They're tall, walking, truly unbelievably gorgeous dolls. I think it's in the shoes. Yet there's always something about the way they pose or the faces they make that projects this sensation that they got their faces whacked with a shovel before the camera shutter clicked.