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Let's All Argue Vehemently About This Potentially Massive Spoilers Leak From 'Batman vs. Superman'

By Joanna Robinson | Miscellaneous | January 23, 2014 | Comments ()


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Are you here to complain about us publishing rumors and hearsay? I don’t care. Are you indignant that we’re talking so much about a movie that hasn’t even started filming yet? I’m equally unconcerned. Did you know that between them, Batman and Superman have 156 years of storytelling to their name? So, yeah, no sh*t people are excited about this movie. Also, while you’re at it, lighten up. Because this post is just a fun bit of salacious rumormongering about the plot of an upcoming comic book movie. Read it or don’t read it, but sanctimony isn’t really the order of the day. If the following rumors are true, however, this post is going to spoil the sh*t out of Snyder’s upcoming swing at the cowl and cape so don’t read past the following graphic if you’re at all worried.

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Friend of the site and canny spoilerhound, Da7e Gonzales, tumbled to this list of spoilers from an allegedly former (and possibly disgruntled) employee of the Batman vs. Superman production. You can read all about Da7e’s source, here. We have no real confirmation, though, so let’s just have fun.

The villians are Lex Luthor and Metallo. This is what Metallo looked like when Brian Austin Green played him on Smallville. Can we get BAG back for the movie? Puh-lease?
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Lois is investigating Lex.

Lex Luthor is in the shadows a lot, a manipulator. Not much face time with Superman. Something…like zis?
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Metallo “kills” Clark. I’m down.

The Batcave was super cool looking, and the mobile looked similar to Burton’s. In other words? Quite, quite phallic.
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Batman forms a UN type deal to stop Superman from destroying another city. Yesssss! All that policy talk we loved in the Star Wars prequels!

The Daily Planet is bought by Lex Luthor for PR purposes.

Aquaman is in it, but not called Aquaman. He’s there because the world engine in the ocean did something to the fish. I…I was actually really hoping we were done with the world engine.
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Robin betrayed Batman at some point, leading to a falling out between them.

Wonderwoman poses as a Wayne Enterprises investor to retrieve an item that belongs to her people. Totally undercover. Nothing to see here.
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At the end Superman is living in exile, and the Justice League is an government approved superhero team. And Sam Jackson shows up?

Talk amongst yourselves.
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  • bastich

    Here, I can solve this:

    Change all of the superheroes to their sexy lady counterparts (Supergirl, Batgirl, Mentallette, Lex Luthor-Girl, etc.), change the director to Roger Corman, and re-title the movie "Justice League Bikini Car Wash".

    There ya go...no more spoilers, and this baby will sell like hotcakes!

    (No, I haven't dated in a while. Why do you ask?)

  • RipCity

    axel braun is your friend then lol
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm134...

  • JenVegas

    I would totally watch this movie like a million times. 3D would only make it better, just sayin'.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I was gonna suggest Lexie Luthor, but I like yours far better.

  • googergieger

    Spoiler alert? It is going to be terrible. Well not so much spoiler or alertish as you know, what the eff else is it going to be?

  • Dutch

    It does seem like they are trying to cram 20 pounds of movie into a 10 pound bag in order to get a Justice League movie off the ground.

  • Dammit, woman! You don't TELL people to argue vehemently; they get all reasonable and rational instead! Now it's all dull and stuff.

  • Guest

    Wow, I can only hope Snyder goes all Tarantino and shelves the entire movie with all these "spoilers" being released.

  • Sassy Pikachu

    After seeing that first poster, I now have strange cravings for Pepsi. -.-

    Though in all fairness, it is a very cool poster.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It gives me a strange craving for South Korea.

  • Wish that Batman/Superman poster was on etsy or something. Really like that

  • Jim

    It's 819am here and that last graphic made me SNORT! Well played, Joanna, well played.

  • Sassy Pikachu

    Based from all the collegehumor/dorkly comics about Batman and Superman.

    http://www.dorkly.com/comics/5...

  • strand0410

    It'll be great if even half these rumours are true. It's exactly the sort of self-serious Snyder fanwankery we know and love (hate?)

  • Dennis Albert Ramirez

    nothing to argue on my end. i actually hope the UN resolution thing is true. not Star Wars prequel style where they show the actual UN meeting where it happens, but briefly, like...

    "Lois, where's Bruce Wayne? I need to speak to him."
    "At the UN, ruining your shit. Clark."

    and then later in passing Bruce finds Clark...

    "Hey Not-Superman, your shit is ruined." (in the Christian Bale Batman voice, which should never go away)

    but for real, i was not a hater of Man of Steel, and took the massive devastation and all the rest to be a consequence of a newbie God having to fight a military-trained genocidal God, but on the faith that it would be followed up on in the sequel, all of which would eventually lead to his being the boy scout everyone wanted, having his own "never again" moment.

    i just like first-installment consequences in my sequels

  • Quatermain

    That Aquaman poster is the most godawful comic book related thing I've seen in a while and it just makes me hate 'Entourage' even more than I already did. As for the rest of the rumors, some of them do sound cooler than others but I'll wait and see if any of them pan out before I do any complaining about things being Ruined Forever.

  • John G.

    I didn't think it was possible to hate Entourage any more, but you, sir, have inspired me. I will squeeze more hate out for that pile of human garbage if it kills me. That poster is really helping.

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