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Miscellaneous | November 3, 2008 | Comments (86)

… Dustin here. I’m writing this post from my basement in Portland, Maine. I’m not sure what time it is. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be writing. I was just given this laptop and harshly told to write. I’m currently strapped to a chair with a ball-gag in my mouth, which makes typing this uncomfortable as hell (I like to mouth the words as I type, you know). TK, who came up for a visit last night to watch the Pats/Colts game, is strapped to a chair next to me, slumped over. I’m honestly not sure if he’s alive or not. He was already in my basement when a gaggle of women …OUCH, DON’T HIT ME … sorry, a group of women … pulled me out of my bed and threw me down the stairs into my basement. These bitches are angry about something.

I’m not sure what’s going on. My shoulder may be dislocated, I’m slightly delirious, and when I mumbled that I wanted some coffee, one of women in a Mrs. Incredible outfit poured a pot of it into my lap.

Truthfully, I’ve never seen these women before — eight or nine of them, I believe — though they claim to be among the site’s Eloquents. They’re all in their underclothing and whipping around bloody tampons by their strings and screaming, “PAHEEBA! PAHEEBA! It sounds like an awkward, Spanish-speaking form of the word Pajiba … *ouch* … one of the women just slapped the shit out of me …

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

…

BUT THAT’S HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT.

…

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOT ANYMORE?

…

WAIT A SECOND … IT’S MY FUCKING SITE

…

OK OK OK. PAHEEBA. PAHEEBA, IT IS. JUST STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE KIDNEY.
…

What? Me. You’ve got the wrong guy … I’m the annoyingly feminist guy who spots misogyny in everything …

…

… well, no. Not Kevin Smith movies. But that’s diff ….

…

You’re gonna what? TAKE OVER THE SITE? Fuck you. But why? What’s happening? Wait, gimme back the laptop I’m not fini s asdgf gfs

….

Welcome to the Revolution. All Hail Godtopussy.


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Comments

Hehehe... Excellent!

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 8:12 AM

Oh, that's just brilliant... now I won't be able to get rid of that bloody tampon-image for a loooooong time!

Posted by: Karen at November 3, 2008 8:13 AM

Are you sure TK is dead?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 3, 2008 8:13 AM

Thank Godtopussy because I've been pronouncing it paHeeba for too long to go back now.

Posted by: becks at November 3, 2008 8:24 AM

I am so cackling to myself in my office right now.

All hail Godtopussy!

Posted by: lizzieborden at November 3, 2008 8:29 AM

You didn't get a blood clot in the eye, did you Dustin?

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 8:31 AM

Is this the week of all female reviews? I tip my hat to the new revolution.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 3, 2008 8:32 AM

Optimus, my love, there are several things about you that I really like. But the fact that you wear a hat just so you can tip it to ladies makes you simply irresistible.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 8:37 AM

Have mercy, Corazon. I fear my role in the new regime.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 3, 2008 8:41 AM

Fear not, Mr. Rhyme. You've been promoted from Internet crush to Internet Boy Toy.

First order in business: no more t-shirts. Sure, they're comfortable and some are pretty cool, but if I must see you with your clothes on wear a shirt. Men look remarkably good in shirts. Or just walk around naked. Just make sure the heat is on.

You will receive more orders eventually. Stay tuned, or I'm sending you to Menopause Island.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 8:45 AM

Don't let Dustin fool you, he loved every freakin' minute of this so-called hostile takeover. Oh, and TK will be fine...he's just pining for the fjords....

Posted by: meaux at November 3, 2008 8:45 AM

Well, I for one, welcome our new vagina toting overlords.

*Roman salute*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 3, 2008 8:47 AM

Apropos of nothing...
The Colts pulled it off. I didn't think that they would.
All hail Bob Sanders.
Bill Bellichik is such an ass.

Posted by: anikitty at November 3, 2008 8:49 AM

Is AvB involved in the takeover? Cause I'm thinking if she is the Pajunta could use a Minister of the Interior.

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 3, 2008 9:15 AM

And there it is. Bucdaddy wins best off-the-cuff response. *starts slow clap*

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 3, 2008 9:39 AM

Yeah, I am totally on board with this. Too bad ATO couldn't be around to enjoy it.

But something tells me that this is going to go bad in a BIG way. There is going to be repercussions for this. Not from me, mind you. I like getting dominated my smart, beautiful women (asskissing, check).

But eventually the other shoe will drop.

- Stacey will go on and on about some dumb reality show she is addicted to and force me to smash her television set(s).

- RanyIt will slip back into hr old ways, and the Eternal Darkness of the Enhanced Vocabulary will rise again.

- Bedhead will lose her mind, dress up in a yellow and black jumpsuit, and stalk Quentin Tarantino to the ends of the earth, where she will enter a grand final battle with Eli Roth and his Hair of Doom, craking the planet in twain.

- Sofia or Julie will flash their Paheeboobs to the wrong Elogent and start a riot. TK will be trampled and many of us will have a laugh.

- BarbadoSlim will....well, be BarbadoSlim.

This is not going to end well.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

P.S. "Pajunta" sounds ten times filthier than Godtopussy. I like it.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 3, 2008 9:46 AM

Vermillion,

There is no such thing as flashing the wrong person.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 9:49 AM

There is no such thing as flashing the wrong person.

Yes, Mistress Sofia.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 3, 2008 9:58 AM

I dare say it all sounds a bit threatening, even if that was always my mental pronunciation too.

Still, you'll never subdue me with vinegar!

Posted by: Jay at November 3, 2008 10:17 AM

Im down with the godapussy

Posted by: GILP at November 3, 2008 10:21 AM

PANTY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!!!!

*cue Control by Janet Jackson Phil*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 3, 2008 10:26 AM

Congrats Pajibettes!

Posted by: jM at November 3, 2008 10:32 AM

Way to go, girls! Make sure you leave that ball gag in. (Is it just me, or is that totally hot, by the way?)

Anyway, Long Live Godtopussy! Long Live PaHeeBa!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 3, 2008 10:43 AM

Ooooo, neat! A Feminist uprising? This oughtta get me through Monday. Congratulations to the Pajibettes!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 3, 2008 10:45 AM

Opt,

Thank you, thank you. There may be a place for you in the Pajunta. My masters tell me they approve of sycophancy. Well, what they actually said was, "We like a man with a talent for sucking" -- long pause -- "up."

So I'm suggesting they vet you for an under secretary position. And by "vet" I mean give you a tryout/workout tongue-humpin' that would make the NFL combine look like a kindergarten recess.

I set a record score for the 40 tongue-lash dash, myself.

Good luck.

bucdaddy
Minister of the Interior
Special Valley, W.Va.

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 3, 2008 10:47 AM

This is going to be a dammned good week. Election. The Femme-Paheebians driving the mack truck. Wife's birthday - she always wants sex.

Tattoo me as yours, my lovely supreme overladies.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at November 3, 2008 10:49 AM

Viva la Godtopussy.

Posted by: Nicole at November 3, 2008 10:51 AM

Godammit BSlim, I hope you're happy. I won't be able to get that song out of my head all day.

[teases hair, puts on jacket with shoulder pads, calls up Jimmy Jam]

"This is a story about control, my control..."

Posted by: jM at November 3, 2008 10:51 AM

All Hail the Godtopussy!

Posted by: Captain Steve at November 3, 2008 10:52 AM

I'm scared... really, really, scared. But also excited in totally non sexual way.

Question:

Who has their finger on the Big Red Button that will send the Pajinaverse into total oblivion?

Posted by: Admin11 at November 3, 2008 10:59 AM

YEEES!

THE REVOLUTION IS HERE!

BOW DOWN TO THE GODTOPUSSY !

wheeeeee!

Posted by: figgy at November 3, 2008 11:00 AM

Well, what they actually said was, "We like a man with a talent for sucking" -- long pause -- "up."

Posted by: bucdaddy

I actually like a man with a talent for sucking lower... lower... lower....

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 11:01 AM

P.S. "Pajunta" sounds ten times filthier than Godtopussy. I like it.

"Pagooter" maybe?

Posted by: branded at November 3, 2008 11:03 AM

I'm here in spirit ladies, I can't wait to read the shit you came up with.

Posted by: Julie at November 3, 2008 11:22 AM

P.S. I forgot, bucdaddy, you can be Minister of my Interior any time, baby.

And by Interior, I mean vagina.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 3, 2008 11:27 AM

Wait wait wait, is it a "see how you like it" sexist turnaround thing?

PRISCOOO!!! DAAAAMN YOUUUUU!!!! YOUR CRNA RUKA WILL BE THE DOWNFALL OF US ALL!!!!!

Posted by: Jay at November 3, 2008 11:55 AM

Well, Ladies. As honored as I am to serve in your cabinet. (which strangely sounds dirty) Sofia has already opted to take me as her boy toy. I assume this implies I'll be in a gold and leather Slave Leia costume and chained to her. BSlim will be Salacious B. Crumb. Yikikikiki!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 3, 2008 11:55 AM

Sofia,

Depend where I start, doesn't it?

Toes = up

Earlobes = down

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 3, 2008 12:20 PM

SWEET CHRISTMAS, WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?! This is the one of the most mysogginistical things I've ever witnessed, and I don't even know what mistoggypsy means! Where are the guys? Bros? Broheims? Brahs?

IN A WORLD GONE MAD, THE JIBA' HAS BEEN BEDAZZLED... Can someone at least post a picture of some breasteses or something? Midget Bell in a bikini? Tina Fey drinking milk? Anything? I'm feeling less manly... And I like feeling like a man.

Are you there, Pookie? It's me, Skittimus.

Posted by: Skitz at November 3, 2008 12:52 PM

Hey, everybody! I'm uh, new to this place. I heard there were a lot of strong women around here and that's right up my alley. GIRL POWER! Am I right? My gosh, guys can be sooo geeky, right? Anybody got any Appletini recipes? I just got back from having my vayjayjay waxed. I know, what a pain, right? High-five, sistah! Say, I just got here and I don't really know any of you, but that Skitz guy seems pretty cool and funny. I'm thinking about sending him naked pictures of myself and some money. Anybody want to join me? It could be a lot of fun! C'mon girls, let's send him some naked pictures! And money! To Skitz! Now!

Posted by: Skittlianna at November 3, 2008 1:07 PM

Oh, Skitz...

*makes sure Optimus isn't watching*

I love you.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 1:10 PM

Yes! I love you too Skitz! I'm sending 8x10 glossies of myself naked and draped in nothing but a silken scarf, with a soft focus lens and candles in the background. I'm also sending medical-quality close-ups using a macro-lens and standard flash. And two fifty dollar bills so I... er, so you don't have to hassle with cashing checks and/or money orders. LET'S ALL DO THIS LADIES! GRRL POWER!

We should all do it today! Like right now! YAY! COSMOS ALL AROUND!

Posted by: Skittlianna at November 3, 2008 1:18 PM

*tee hee* *tee hee*

YAY! SUNSHINE! let's have a pillow fight, in our panties!

Posted by: Barbara Slim at November 3, 2008 1:22 PM

UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS! TEE-HEE! Say, Barbara Slim, I think that BSlim sounds pretty cool too! I'm going to send him pictures too! Lets all do that, ladies! Except be sure to send your money to Skitz. Just him. Along with the pictures. Preferably on a furry rug of some sort. In front of a fireplace. In our delicates. 8x10 glossies. Or maybe eating a bowl of pasta suggestively. With cash. To Skitz. Today... GIRLS RULE!

Posted by: Skittlianna at November 3, 2008 1:33 PM

hihihihihihihi

My pet peeves are: triangles, non-dairy creamers and guys who don't text!

Posted by: Barbara Slim at November 3, 2008 1:42 PM

OMIGOSHROTFLMAO! There are guys who don't text? Not in my book. SNAP! I like long periods of silence while staring into each other's eyes. Like ten-fifteen minutes or so. I also like Mocha Latte Frapachinoos with soy milk and Splenda chocolate sprinkles and vegan whipped cream! YUMMO! LISA FRANK STICKERS AND GLITTER!

Posted by: Skittlianna at November 3, 2008 1:47 PM

I find it both hilarious and terrifying that you know what Lisa Frank stickers are.

Posted by: Sarina at November 3, 2008 1:52 PM

Damn guys, that's almost funny enough to make me want to reward you with naked pictures. Almost.

Posted by: s. pisaster at November 3, 2008 1:56 PM

*as we scamper through a grassy meadow*

Skittlianna? Do you wanna be my sister forever and ever!

And, what do you when, you know *whispers* you aren't felling...so fresh...?

Posted by: Barbara Slim at November 3, 2008 1:58 PM

Dustin: Old men!

Women: Women.

DR: Sorry. Old women, who lives in Paheebacastle?

W: We're 27.

DR: What?

W: We're 27, we're not old.

DR: Well I couldn't just call you "women."

W: You COULD say sofia figgy julie nicole lizzieborden anna von beaverplatz stacey ranylt bedhead skittianna.

DR: I didn't know you were called sofia figgy julie nicole lizzieborden anna von beaverplatz stacey ranylt bedhead skittianna.

W: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?

DR: Look, I did say sorry about the "old men," but ...

W: What we object to is that you automatically treat us like an inferior, with your sexist reviews. If there's ever going to be any progress ...

Sir Slim the Pure: OOOOOOO, ladies, there's some lovely filth down here ...

Queen Julie (arriving upon the shoulders of former men bucdaddy and Optimus): Who's he?

DR: I am Dustin, son of Uther Rowlesdragon of the castle Pajiba, and I am your Webmaster.

W (to Julie): Some guy, thinks he's a Webmaster. (to DR): Well we didn't vote for you. We know! Let's have tea and crumpets, and then kill you.

DR: Ladies, ladies, please! I merely wish to know who lives in Paheebacastle?

W: No one lives there.

DR: Then who is your Webmaster?

W: Woo-hoo! We don't have a Webmaster. We killed the Webmaster and all the men except the two we keep around for our oral pleasure! Hail, Paheeba! Praise Godtopussy!

DR: You mean ... this is a Vagooterocracy?

Sir Che of Henson: I thought it was an autonomous collective.

Sir Pookie the Profane: You're fooling yourself. We're traveling in a dic(less)tatorship.

W: Wrong, sir, we are CLASSY ladies.

Sir Prisco of Philly: There you go, bringing class into it again.

W: But that's what it's all about! Now be on your way! Off, off with you, before we turn you ALL into ladies!

(SFX: sound of 84 boobies, banging together, follows DR and men as, keeping both hands over their crotches, they ride imaginary horses for their very lives.)

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 3, 2008 1:59 PM

Yeah... that just kind of came out. I have no idea where it came from, or why I... er...

I mean, of course she knows what Lisa Frank Stickers are... I mean, doesn't every girl?


[...play it cool, Skitty... simple mistake... no one will make the connection, and soon I'll be swimming in an inflatable pool of cash and amateur porn... better follow-up with a "lady-like" post...]

Posted by: Skitz at November 3, 2008 2:00 PM

JONAS BROTHERS PURPLE EMO BOYS PRINCESS CUPCAKES PUFFY PAINT SUMMERS EVE PANTYLINER FRILLY LACE CROISSANTS!

The photos and cash are in the mail, boys. I suggest everybody else follow me! DO IT NOW! NOW GODDA... I mean, WOMYN POWER ANI DIFRANCO MARGARITA!

Posted by: Skittlianna at November 3, 2008 2:04 PM

How long will the revolution last?

Posted by: Melody at November 3, 2008 2:05 PM

You're being a Dicktator, Skitz, and a pain in my ass!

The men in here are such pussies. Stop whining and enjoy the glitter and bows and rainbows. I SAID ENJOY THEM.

Dustin stop whining. Jeebus. I SAID STOP WHINING. There, how did you like your bath of Victoria's Secret Dreams Perfume? Yeah, I thought so. That shit smells like dead flowers, and it's still marketed at us. Now see how you like that. Sit there and THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.

Posted by: figgy at November 3, 2008 2:06 PM

Wow, I can't decide who's hotter right now: Skitz for the lisa frank knowledge, or bucdaddy for the MP skit (i know that entire skit off book, and have since doing it in a coffeehouse in high school thankee very much).

i'm not sure i'm falling for that send Skitz money and nekkid pictures thing, though. You think we were all born yesterday?

Posted by: lizzieborden at November 3, 2008 2:26 PM

Oh but my WWI joke is worth nothing, huh?

Fuck this!

Posted by: Jay at November 3, 2008 2:30 PM

Yall made me laugh so hard, I think I shat a rainbow. Yeah, this deposit is never coming back.

Posted by: Sharon at November 3, 2008 2:30 PM

i'm not sure i'm falling for that send Skitz money and nekkid pictures thing, though.
Posted by: lizzieborden at November 3, 2008 2:26 PM

You mean again Lizzie? Yeah, I already fell for that shit once...

Posted by: Lainey at November 3, 2008 2:33 PM

I don't know, I think I like it better when the boys are in charge.

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 2:37 PM

So I guess this I what I get for taking a really long nap this morning/afternoon. I completely missed the call to revolution!

Posted by: Kolby at November 3, 2008 2:45 PM

That really hurts, Cindy. It hurts so much because we put so much hard work into this. We locked ourselves in our rooms and didn't move away from our computers just so we could pull this off. We couldn't even go to the bathroom, so we ended up pissing all over our wedding dresses a-la Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Secretary." I doubt I'll ever be able to use this dress again. It wasn't easy forcing ourselves to grow penises either, because we all knew the only way somebody could take over Pajiba was if we had a penis and a set of balls to add to the mix. Everyone knows Pajiba stands for penis, vagina and balls. My underwear doesn't fit me anymore, and no dude wants to screw a chick with a penis bigger than his (if we take the hand size myth into consideration.)

So I'm left with no more nookie for as long as I live and no wedding dress to wear on my special day -- not that anyone will want to marry me now. I'm left with one consoling thought: even if I'm still glued to my computer, I can put my pajiba set to good use and reproduce with myself. My kids will probably have three eyes and be dumb as hell, but at least one day I'll be able to tell them, "look, my loves. One day, mommy took over a site that's named after the thing that gave you life in the first place."

That, to me, is... priceless.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 2:48 PM

Cindy: Misogynist pig! To the Wall of Tears with you!

And by "Wall of Tears" I mean the usual wall in revolutions where you shoot the dissidents. Mostly for not being pretty enough for us. Right, Sofia?

Posted by: figgy at November 3, 2008 3:00 PM

Sofia, I'm typing through tears as I write... That was beautiful. I'm ashamed for trying to trick anybody today into sending me naked photos and cash - Yes, I was Skittliana. It was me all along. I think you ladies are doing a fine job. And if you just want to send me regular, run-of-the-mill photos as nekkidness, well, that'd be just fine. I don't need bearskin rugs or fireplaces - a simple, grainy cell-phone picture will do just fine. And as far as the "no-checks" thing? Forget about it. I'll take your checks as well as your cash. Bravo ladies. Bravo.

P.S. You'll probably want to get the pictures and money to the post office before three-thirty today...

Posted by: Skitz at November 3, 2008 3:01 PM

Don't be bothered by me Sofia; I've always been a hang-with-the-boys girl. My whole life has been of one or two close girlfriends vs. many close guy friends. I was never close with my mother, and my Dad was my best friend. In the military, at any given time I was usually the only female or one of two in a platoon of men. Let me tell you, sleeping in a tent with 20 + dudes is an experience you never forget. My point is, my sensibilities run with the dudes. I was never the girl waiting for marriage, and when I finally did get married - it was me who wanted to elope and my husband who wanted the big wedding (yes, I let him have his day).

Maybe I'm sexist.

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 3:01 PM

This is the best day ever.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 3, 2008 3:05 PM

Cindy, you're not sexist. At least I don't think so. It's just... we worked so hard at this!

*wipes tear with one hand, scratches balls with the other one, then sniffs it*

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 3:09 PM

Oh Sofia, you poor, mutated, little worker bee - stop before you make me cry! I really do appreciate the efforts made here today. Can I send some money for corrective surgery?

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 3:16 PM

I dunno, figgy. It may not be wise to execute a woman with military experience...experience that we'll need in the days of reconstruction following the revolution. Perhaps we should just send Cindy to reeducation camp - a camp that includes make up lessons and pillow fight training and other things girls apparently do when they are together that she finds so objectionable.

Also, Skittlianna, do you think skitz would prefer a naughty school girl spread or something a little more tasteful, like Lohan's Marilyn Monroe recreations?

Posted by: Marra at November 3, 2008 3:19 PM

Hey, as long as I can make out a blurred nipple, I should be set...

Posted by: Skitz at November 3, 2008 3:24 PM

Damn figgy, that's harsh. I didn't know there was no room for dissent among pms-ers. Go ahead then, line me up and shoot me! I'll go down knowing I spoke out when no one else had the courage. I wasn't afraid to tell my truth unlike those whimpering traitors who fell at your feet with false compliments, all the while trying to get naked pictures.

I regret that I have but one life to give for my Pajibaverse.

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 3:27 PM

Perhaps we should just send Cindy to reeducation camp - a camp that includes make up lessons and pillow fight training and other things girls apparently do when they are together that she finds so objectionable.

I'd rather die! Take me to my wall.

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 3:29 PM

Awwwwww man! I never get to have any fun.

*kicks the dust*

Fine, fine. No wall. All I wanted was to make an example of someone :(

(see see I even made a sad face)

Posted by: figgy at November 3, 2008 3:34 PM

Meaux & bucdaddy, thank you for the brilliant Python references, that alone made my Monday! Congratulations ladies on the uprising, nice to see you cracking the whip for a change (and thank you mistress may I have another?). Err, I seem to have lost my MurderMaid keys. Anyone need a darkly helmeted lordling with a Schwartz ring, or should I just go join the ranks of cannon-fodder? *ahem* who wants a foot rub and optional full body massage?

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 3, 2008 3:34 PM

Damn, Cindy. You really are a badass. You can be our Secretary of Defense but only if you wear pink bows and bedazzled shirts and oh....man I grossed myself out just thinking about it. I fucking hate pink. And glitter. And sequins.

I really just want to beat up stuff, you know? I think I'll go back to torturing Dustin some more.

Posted by: figgy at November 3, 2008 3:38 PM

Pink is evil and not of this world. See VS "pink" clothing line if you need proof of this fact.

Besides, if it is a REAL revolution, you need to follow the French example. They did thrown a damned nice revolution with no dissenters that lived to see the sunrise the next day.

Posted by: Melody at November 3, 2008 3:41 PM

Figgy, Marra! Go to that corner over there! And don't talk to each other!

Cindy, come here. Look, the girls are just kidding... don't take it personal. And the naked picture thing is also a joke. Skitz already has our Hustler spreads on his wall. He's just greedy, that's all.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 3:44 PM

Sorry, Mistress Sofia. We won't step out of line again, promise.

And sorry to Cindy, for I now realize that lame-girl reeducation camp is going too far. Your valuable information your brains hold are too important to waste by spraying them against the wall.

Posted by: Marra at November 3, 2008 3:59 PM

*sulks in the corner*

Posted by: figgy at November 3, 2008 4:00 PM

I don't know what's going on, but I approve.

Posted by: Sabrina at November 3, 2008 4:36 PM

Bah. A revolution led by the weaker fairer sex? Girls sprouting penii? A bad episode of Bosom Buddies breaking out? As Vermillion so aptly put it, This is not going to end well.

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 3, 2008 6:59 PM

I really just want to beat up stuff, you know? I think I'll go back to torturing Dustin some more.

See, now you have your head on straight. Always torture the men.

Sofia it is certainly clear you and figgy have control - and the Hustler thing is genius. If you need anyone taken out, I used to be an expert shot. It's been a while though, so I might only maim him.

And thank you for the reprieve Marra. You never know how I might come in handy.

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 7:48 PM

Boy, was I ever wrong...the ending was a tear-jerker, but without a trace of schmaltz. Good stuff all the way around. Well played, Pajibettes!

The Pajibettes Present: The First Annual DildOscar® Awards

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 3, 2008 7:53 PM

I am so confused.

I haven't been online all day and when I finally find some alone time with my computer Pajiba has gone insane. Seriously, how does everyone here have time to post all day? Do any of you have jobs? I'm always out of the loop AND since I'm on the west coast when I finally do get a chance to catch up at night everyone on the east coast has stopped posting. I am so upset that I missed to day.

I have to go pout now.

Posted by: Allingsworth at November 3, 2008 11:49 PM

Whoa, Vermillion... it's like you've been inside my head or something.

Get out!

Posted by: agent bedhead at November 4, 2008 1:45 AM

After reading the Paheeba columns all I can say is:
MEH.Please return the site to its original writers.

Posted by: brite at November 4, 2008 2:36 AM

I love it when commenters say "how do you post all day? Don't you have any jobs?" 'cause they're really saying "don't you have a life?"

My answer: I do have a 9:00 to 6:00 job and a life. I just know how to use my time to do everything I want. Asshole...

Posted by: Sofía at November 4, 2008 5:31 AM