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I'm F**king Ray Bradbury

By | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (19)



ray bradbury.jpg

I wrote a Cannonball Read review for Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 on Saturday that was posted on the site Monday wherein I lament that I may be a bad science fiction fan for not having read his work before. In the interest of full disclosure, I’m sure I have read some of his work but fail to remember it, as it would have been so long ago. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the book and will be partaking of more of Mr. Bradbury’s works post haste.

After my brief association with Bradbury, I think that I can say I am, or will be, a fan. What I can’t say is that I’d put out for the cranky old curmudgeon. Listen, I’m all about putting winkle in a bit of wrinkle, I would do things to Betty White that would grow her teeth back, the combination of Ben-gay and Polident is an aphrodisiac most potent; but Ray just seems so damned disagreeable sometimes. That is where Rachel Bloom and I differ. Rachel really likes Mr. Bradbury. Her obsession runs to such an extent that she’s willing to ruin his books to gain satisfaction. Honestly, I’d hate to get caught between her and the object of her desire. It would no doubt denigrate in to a half sexy, half leathery Bob sammich with extra juice. Please note that the following isn’t safe for work.


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Comments

That song makes me want to take a shirt from outofprintclothing.com and turn it into a crop top with a low neckline for easy access to my boobs when I ask for his autograph.

Speaking of boobs, I can't stop staring at Rachel's. Wow.

Posted by: Sefa at August 17, 2010 8:10 PM

Looks like I have a new comedy audition song.

And I wonder why I get cast so infrequently for legit musicals. Some day I'll learn.

Maybe I'll change it to Mary Shelley. That'll make it more accessible, right?

Posted by: Robert at August 17, 2010 8:16 PM

i know a guy who fucked Ray Bradbury's niece just so he could get the chance to meet him. true story.

i recommend checking out Death is a Lonely Business for something entirely different than Bradbury's sci-fi canon.

Posted by: kristin at August 17, 2010 8:37 PM

Speaking of boobs, I can't stop staring at Rachel's. Wow.

Posted by: Sefa

Agreed. Natural and lively, just as God (be he/she female or male) intended.

Oh! The video was really fucking funny.

Thanks.

Posted by: Groundloop at August 17, 2010 9:02 PM

I'm pretty sure I didn't hear anything after "Fuck me."

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at August 17, 2010 10:54 PM

I'm pretty sure I didn't hear anything after "Fuck me."

Beside *fap* *fap* *fap*, obviously.

Posted by: TheMaskedEmu at August 17, 2010 11:55 PM

I really wasn't impressed with Fahrenheit 451 so I never read any of his other books. For some odd reason this song makes me want to try another...

Posted by: ERM at August 18, 2010 12:47 AM

Well played, Emu.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at August 18, 2010 1:13 AM

Thanks for posting my video!!!

Posted by: Rachel Bloom at August 18, 2010 2:40 AM

Well played! They played it seductively wholesome!

Posted by: Trag Lee at August 18, 2010 2:49 AM

WOWOWOWOW“....!!!~~~~ M i x e d M a t c h i n g 。。c 00o m ~~~ which is a hot community for whites and blacks to find their interracial love.,there has been thousands of single members online and many black and white single girls or guys waitting for you maybe you will like it.

Posted by: carl2z at August 18, 2010 5:40 AM

What non-sexual piece of literature would you ejaculate on?

Mine is "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." That book is how it's done, people.

Posted by: Kballs at August 18, 2010 10:12 AM

Kballs,

Word.

Posted by: , at August 18, 2010 10:37 AM

If you want to try Bradbury, but aren't into sci-fi, give Dandelion Wine a go. It's gorgeous.

And she mentioned it in the video, which I loved.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 18, 2010 1:21 PM

Rachel Bloom's got a nice set of pipes.

Posted by: a disturbingly large amount of poo at August 18, 2010 3:49 PM

I'm applying to have my name legally changed to "Ray Bradbury"...

Posted by: Rykker at August 18, 2010 5:18 PM

Or, for people who've never read Bradbury, you might try a non-science fiction story, like "The Small Assassin".

Posted by: Pat C at August 18, 2010 7:09 PM

Nice pipes, cute face, awesome rack. I'm waiting for her follow-up single "Get Off My Lawn Harlan Ellison(Oh Wait, That's Just A Garden Gnome)". In fact, I can foresee an entire album's worth of material out of this. Tracks might include:

I'd Jump Frederik's Pohl
Let Me Ride Your Dragon, Miss Mcaffrey
Say It With Flowers, Give Her A Triffid
Tickle My Allamagoosa
Asimov's Sideburns Might Get Me Wetter, But Robert Silverberg's beard Is Better
I'd Totally Hit It With A Canticle For Leibowitz
I Would Rock Robert Bloch
I'd Get My Mattress On With Richard Matheson
And...
Jesus Fat Fucking Christ On A Stick, Robert Heinlein, Are You A Misogynist Or What?

Posted by: TheUpsetter at August 18, 2010 9:38 PM

I know Rachel Bloom...AhHHH!

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at August 20, 2010 7:48 AM