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If The Phrase 'Forbidden Bacon' Sends A Shiver Down Your Spine, Thank Reddit

By Tori Preston | Miscellaneous | May 30, 2018 |

By Tori Preston | Miscellaneous | May 30, 2018 |


GettyImages-939517034.jpg

I’m not a fluent Redditor by any means. I’m barely a Redditor at all — I literally just signed up for an account today so I could subscribe to subreddits rather than trying to remember what they’re called (to then Google them). Specifically: I wanted to subscribe to the “/r/forbiddensnacks” community, where people post pictures of shit that looks delicious but is DEFINITELY not edible.

Sounds kinda silly, right? It is! It’s pointless in the extreme. And yet, as someone who is led through life not by the whims of my heart or brain but by the mercurial desires of my stomach, the frustration of seeing something you want to eat but can’t is very relevant to my interests. To be fair, some of the posts are more original than others. People in this subreddit still think Tide Pods look tasty, for example. And, like, yes — of COURSE you can’t eat soaps that are shaped like foods. Disappointment is an element of their very design.

Forbidden soap macarons from r/forbiddensnacks


But then there are posts that are almost sublime in the way they alter the way we view the world:

Forbidden trail mix from r/forbiddensnacks
Forbidden Skittles + bonus Pocky from r/forbiddensnacks
Forbidden Jalapeño Cheese Spread from r/forbiddensnacks
Forbidden hamburger meat from r/forbiddensnacks
Forbidden pancakes 🥞 from r/forbiddensnacks
Forbidden Kiwifruit from r/forbiddensnacks


Some take your hungers and turn them into horrors:

Forbidden Bananas from r/forbiddensnacks
Forbidden lettuce from r/forbiddensnacks


And then there’s the topic that comes up again and again. Two simple words that, when combined, strike fear to my very core.

Forbidden. Bacon.

forbidden bacon from r/forbiddensnacks


Forbidden Bacon from r/forbiddensnacks


Forbidden bacon from r/forbiddensnacks


Thanks, Reddit. Now I have to cope with the fact that even a finely-sanded plank of wood makes my mouth water. But wait! There’s more!


Forbidden Living Bacon from r/forbiddensnacks


The TRUE forbidden bacon from r/forbiddensnacks


You know what? Yeah, I’ll say it. I’d eat ‘em.

Screw you, Reddit, and bacon, and things that look like bacon, for making me realize just how weak I truly am. But I’m still not dumb enough to eat Tide Pods.



Tori Preston is deputy editor of Pajiba. She rarely tweets here but she promises she reads all the submissions for the "Ask Pajiba (Almost) Anything" column at [email protected].



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