Pajiba

Glee and Burlesque are bad, and it has nothing to do with too gay.

Unicorns...Unicorns are too gay. Everything else is fine though.

I too live in a liberal bubble where there ain't no such thing as too gay. GAY IT UP! I just went to my gayest gay friend's (karaoke) birthday party, and there was a LOT OF GAY.

Also, The Mutt is clearly correct. The joke only makes sense because everybody knows what he's talking about.

Also also, regarding "That's so gay" jokes and such, my friends and I have a saying when that comes up: "You know what's gay? A man sticking his penis in another man's butt. That's really gay."

Anyone remember a sitcom on Showtime in the mid-eighties called Brothers? It was about three adult brothers, the youngest of whom came out to the other two in the series premire. I watched it as a teenager. I can't remember if my parents watched it also, but there was never any controversy about it in my house, at least not in front of me. It was pretty bad; the youngest brother's best friend was worse-than-Jack-on-Will and Grace-flaming and from what I remember about the jokes the show would probably fit in perfectly on CBS's Monday night lineup.

All this is to say that even though I didn't grow up knowing any actual gay people (I think), it was never an issue, so I don't remember ever making a conscious decision to like or not like "gay" things.

I live in a fairly gay little village in NY state and I go to a liberal and gay-friendly Epsicopalian church (like 99% sure our assistant rector is a lesbian) but I grew up in rural Texas amongst fundamentalist Christians. I'm pretty sure many of my family members are pretty uncomfortable with anything remotely gay (though they seem to be very good about my nephew who came out last year). So while I'm in a happy liberal bubble locally, I know what it's like outside the bubble. It disgusts me that some people are still disgusted at gayness in this day and age.

As for the Travolta/Cruise jokes, I don't know. I feel kind of guilty for laughing that they are closeted, like it's not really a laughing matter. If they are indeed closeted while married to women, that's just sad. If they aren't, then it's sad that anyone is discussing their personal life. Whatever, I'm conflicted. And tired of trying to type on m iPad.

It's nice that Glee has caught on, regardless of how terrible it can be (though in its defense, when the show has its moments, it can be transcendent), if only for its inclusion of gay characters. Though Kurt is a stereotype through and through, the addition of Blaine has been a nice counterbalance as an out-and-proud gay teen who's not over-the-top and probably doesn't have a spot-on Judy Garland impression they can pull out at the drop of a hat when their Jewish princess singer friend can pull out her Barbra impersonation for a duet when warranted.

Then again, I knew how to spell Barbra's name correctly without having to look it up, so I guess I'm too gay.

I've kind of encountered all types of reactions to being gay. In terms of my family life I get the best of both worlds. my mother's side of the family is the christian/catholic side that ranges between some not approving of my "lifestyle" but not judging me to actually looking me in the eye and telling me I will marry a man and be able to turn this around

My dad's side is the liberal fun side that doesn't care as long as I end up with a nice girl that treats me well. I enjoy their company slightly more

I really don't enjoy glee because I think it's poorly written and tries too hard to please everyone. Plus it's fairly imbalanced in that there's really no impressive lesbian representation, just male gay representation

"what's it like where you live?"

Here in Hobbitville, we've had openly gay members of government, athletes, musicians (okay that's nothing new anywhere) you name it, for as long as I've been alive, and obviously much longer. Two of our oldest and most famous exports, The Topp Twins, are a pair of openly lesbian twin comediennes, who got their name by fronting protests against environmental changes back in the dark ages, then hit the musical comedy circuit. Right in the middle of one of the main streets in town is a massively popular and flamboyant gay bar, that straight guys go to with their mates as if it were any other, because hey, it's a kickass bar.

We've had civil unions for as long as I can remember (which to be fair is a poor turn of phrase, my memory is pretty poor, but still). And there wasn't much of a fuss kicked up about not being able to marry because.. well.. not a huge amount of the homosexual community wanted to swear on the bible at the time, due to certain passages contained there in. I'm not sure where that issue stands today, but since the Civil Union laws are identical to marriage laws I think everyone is pretty much settling in.

It's not perfect, I've met at least two people that have chucked in a gay slur with actual intended malice (usually behind a cross with splashes of holy water). But both times were back in high school, and the reactions they got were ones of such shocked disgust (even from impartial teenagers) that within a few days they'd reconsidered their stand, at least publicly. And I've got at least three friends that aren't ready to come right on out yet, but everybody knows, they know everybody knows, and they know they can rock up to a party with a boyfriend when they're comfortable doing so.

Sometimes I think our media plays up the homophobia of other corners of the world, especially the States, to a certain degree.. we pride ourselves on being a pretty open minded, front-running bunch, as you probably noticed form my preceding, glowing rant. Kate Sheppard anyone? Yay us! And what media we get straight from the States is left as it gets, so it's a bit of a balancing act. Actually, we do get Fox News from 2-5am on one channel here. Hah, that's really a news channel over there?

Something can never be too gay. This I know from attending a gay pride parade in NYC. There is always room for more gay.

Oh- I've just remembered. Years ago, when a lady friend of mine was on the cusp of coming out, and was for whatever reasons very nervous about doing so, tested the waters by talking to me first.

Conversation went something like:

"So, would it bother you if I told you I maybe liked girls?"

"Well, I'm a guy, and I like girls a lot. I'd be a major bloody hypocrite for holding the the same thing against you."

It's an opinion I hold to this day.

I'm living in a small town in Tennessee right now. Previously I lived in more liberal, larger cities and MAN do they not like the gay here. A guy in a pink shirt is probably too gay.

I bought this wonderful Eddie Izzard calendar about 5 years ago, and it's just glorious pics of him in full makeup and dresses and posing, and I kept all of the pictures and put my favorite one up in my office. Someone came in my office once and saw the picture and said, "is that a guy?" I said yes. "But...he's wearing makeup." Yes... Said person was quite confused.

I work in a library and someone complained to me last week about all the "queer books" that another librarian kept ordering. So, yeah. Even in a library, down here, even a slight hint of gay is TOO gay.

I used to work in a resturant where I was the only straight waitperson, male or female. My rage was saved for the jackass who would steal, STEAL 8 tops he knew were going to order wine,apps, veal chops and after dinner drinks. Try to take a 200 dollar tip from me and that's a stomping regardless of sexual orientation. So as rule I try to hate people individually rather than as a group. It's more personal that way.

I'm a straight guy who grew up in musical theater. I think the line of too gay for me is hardcore gay porn.

I don't know if this is TOO gay but it's up there.

http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2009/06/01/i-think-that-eel-on-the-right-symbolizes-something-but-can%E2%80%99t-quite-put-my-finger-on-it/

SOOOO NSFW.

What is the point of this article? What the hell do you mean by asking how gay is too gay? I honestly find the act of writing this piece more than a little homophobic. Joanna, you say in your blurb at the bottom that it would "bum you out" if we were "bigots"... but is it not prejudicial to even suggest that something could be too gay at all? Is that not akin to asking if something could be too black, or too jewish, or whatever? Really - I don't think something like this should be on Pajiba at all. I'm surprised no one else has called you out on this yet.

What is the point of this article? What the hell do you mean by asking how gay is too gay? I honestly find the act of writing this piece more than a little homophobic.
Posted by: b at January 17, 2011 5:50 PM

Please. We are grown men and women, 99.9% of whom are comfortable with our own sexuality and that of our friends. Joanna put a little humorous spin on a serious issue and then asked THIS question:

“How gay is too gay?” What’s it like where you live?

A question you completely ignored.
Did you not understand that these questions, taken together, are asking what it's like for the gay community in your place of residence?
Tulsa, where I now reside, has a fairly open and accepting attitude toward the gay community.
The city where I was born? Best be straight from birth to death or prepare to get a daily ass-whippin' until they run you out of town.

Read the entire article. Think on it...THEN comment.

Unless you were joking. In which case: Ha. Ha.

b, did you read the rest of the article, or just jump to the conclusion, so to speak?

In a completely unrelated topic with my Facebook literati today, I said, "Staging a production of Godspell or Jesus Christ Superstar in this town or church would be obscenely heretical to these fucking refugees from Pleasantville. There'd be rioting, pitchforks, and the symbolic flaming torches."

Considering how we would we now interpet the gayness of those two musicals (as filmed), I'd say that's a pretty good barometer of the Gay Line in rural Story County, Iowa.

You should take your own advice, b.

You know what's too gay, taking a genius like Ricky Gervais to the woodshed for for an hour long pants down ass whipping after he made that gay joke about Cruise, Travolta and all the rest of Scientology who'd already been thoroughly lampooned by Southpark. I hope the Scientology velvet mafia takes a real try at ruining his career and they get their comeuppance. I still love the fact that Parker and Stone reacted to the censorship of the Stuck In the Closet episode by going ahead and putting it out on Youtube to be seen by everyone for free and far more people saw than would have seen it if they'd just let it slide instead.

I've lived in NC for the last six years and it's a weird mix. Lots of very conservative, country club, republican bank manager types, a good proportion of whom are actually gay.

Where I live seems to be a mecca for quiet, preppie-ish gay men who just want to live quietly in their beautiful homes. We also have a pretty good sprinkling of serious, literary- or science-minded lesbians who go to, or teach at one of the four universities in my town. I'm not trying to stereotype, that just seems to be the general lay of the land.

The funny thing is how many of the older, conservative "straight" people (like my Mom's friends) have no idea that they even know any gay people. ("Why yes Mom, you and your choir friends can stop trying to set up the choir director with girls to date. He is never going to get married, he's gay. Yes, I'm quite sure.") They're not really closeted here, so much as the gays pretty much look like everyone else. They have jobs, go to school and church they live in nice houses, very "normal."

After living in Atlanta, NYC and London, it's all a bit weird, but it seems to work. I can't think of ever hearing of any hate crimes, though I imagine there have been incidents. So while proportionally we have a pretty large gay population, I would say it is not even close to being too gay.

Just as an aside, it is sometimes very difficult to distinguish a gay man from an old-timey Southern man. I can't tell you how many older gentlemen I have met here who would put Truman Capote to shame, and yet they are married 50 years with five kids without even the slightest sniff of scandal in their history. Yes, I know some closeted men marry, but I've learned to read that very fine line and I'm pretty sure it's just a certain "southern" thing.

As far as what is "too gay" I think Paultera covered it with that link. That is beyond awesomely bad. Thanks for sharing.

I can't really speak for the community at large here because for the most part I ignore their existence, but I've been pleasantly surprised by Green Bay so far. Seeing as I'm an astounding pessimist and cynic I suppose I set myself up for that though. This is the most 'rural' place I've lived and I set my expectations very very low coming in.

Amongst the people I know there really doesn't seem to be any mean bigotry but there are lots of garden variety jokes (not only in terms of sexuality but from what I can tell race as well). A good portion of these people are older and what I would call VERY conservative. I file them all under "don't know any better." Especially since most of them will say something like, "no, it's okay, I have a gay guy I work with, he's cool!" -ah, the 'black friend' of our era.

Now, of the people I'm actually friends with about 1/3+ aren't straight and most seem to have no problems. I did have one friend, who moved to Madison (from here) and shortly after committed suicide after a particularly painful night of gay-bashing-bullying from people at a fucking high school reunion of all places. One could argue there was a lot more going on there.

I think that with everything in this town, being different is OK, just not toooo different. The same judgement seems to apply to questions of sexuality, style, eating habits, vocabulary, television viewing preferences, etc. I probably catch as much flack for being a hybrid-driving vegetarian who doesn't watch football as my friends do for being homosexual men/lesbians. Of course, most of them watch football.

Oh, and I just moved to Savannah which is a very strange mix of attitudes towards homosexuality. You have the "live and let live" beach community, the savannah college of art and design students (who make up half of the downtown inhabitants) and their artsy liberal tendencies, and all set within the deep south where there were constant campaign ads telling me that the gays were going to brainwash school children. i'm hoping that the beachers and hipsters continue to push the climate more towards an Austin-like town... a blue dot in a wash of red.

grumble... pajiba ate my comment.

I guess it was TOO gay.

{j/k, had to say it}

gay people are just gross. i mean, they have diseases. and yes, some of them smell nice, but they EAT SEMEN.

Hey hey hey hey...I eat semen on a regular basis. I love the cock. That's right. AND I have a disease right now, as a matter of fact. I think it's the flu. You callin' me gross?

P.S. Gay men do often smell quite nice. They are also very cool as neighbors, as they keep their lawns immaculate and never have noisy parties (at least, they don't down here in Tey-ax-ass).

Really and for serious, I couldn't possibly care less who's gay and who's not. I divide the world into two kinds of people: Those who can get the job done and those who can't. Everything else is fuck-all.

I fucking hate the gay scene. I hate thumping techno dance nights at clubs, I hate fashion, and I hate the shit out of purposefully affected lisps.

You know what the difference is between my gay friends and gays who eat, sleep and breathe LGBT culture? My gay friends can hold an intriguing and thoughtful conversation about damned near anything without ACTING LIKE THE CATTY SHIT-TALKING BITCHES FROM HIGH SCHOOL!! One of my best friends, (a future groomsman at my wedding, in fact) was a mentor to me in high school. He is an unbelievably classy, extraordinarily intelligent and funny guy, who came out a few years after high school. Nothing changed between us, and we continued to be great friends. He is however often depressed, because most of the guys he meets are insufferable screaming jet engines who wear $130 couture t shirts and find any opportunity to talk about how they can't wait for Anderson Cooper to come out of the closet.

Likewise, a different friend of mine from college came out to me a few years after she graduated. I saw her struggle with her sexuality in a series of hard to watch relationships with guys, until she finally figured out that she was more into her room mates than guys she was meeting. I think of her like a little sister, and I was proud of her when she came out. I love both of them very much. A portion of which is because their cars aren't festooned with fucking rainbow bumper stickers that say "OUT & PROUD", and "SORRY GIRLS, I'M GAY!". For them, being gay ends at wanting to be with someone of their gender. They're not hollow shells whose only defining personality trait is their sexuality.

I'll never dispute that homosexuality is not a choice. I hope that Gays and lesbians get every civil right that's being denied to them. There is nothing amoral or gross about gay sex (that's not just as gross as straight sex. I've given head to a few girls who were squirters. That shit's like being on the deck of a Spanish Galleon in a thunderstorm). But all that other shit? The fascination with musicals, the gossiping like a fucking 1950's housefrau, and the BAFFLING sincere love of mainstream pop music, all that's on you. You weren't BORN loving Ray of Light era Madonna and big Italian sunglasses, THAT'S JUST YOUR SHITTY TASTE IN THINGS!

So yeah. Gay culture by and large is too gay for me. Not because the culture is formed entirely of gay men and women, because with all that collected power and influence, I think gay culture is the last thing keeping Joan Rivers relevant. Gay scenesters = emo kids, just louder, and more grating on the eyes

You know what's too gay, taking a genius like Ricky Gervais to the woodshed for for an hour long pants down ass whipping after he made that gay joke about Cruise, Travolta and all the rest of Scientology ...

That had everything to do with the Xenu boys not wanting their preferences - whatever those may be - talked about, and "the biz" willing to accommodate them as long as the money keeps flowing.

John or Tom? It could be Beck...or the Chipmunks dude.

Being gay is nothing in my eyes. It's just another person. However, gay people like anyone can act in an offensive or obnoxious way. And I have met many obnoxious men who use their homosexuality to get away with too much, especially around women. Most of it has to do with how some of these men flaunt their sexuality. I mean there is nothing wrong with that as long as its in the right place and context. But not when I am eating dinner or trying to have a serious, thoughtful conversation. It would be no different if it was some straight dude coming in to talk about how much he loves shooting animals and gutting them with a hunting knife.

The same applies for movies. If the person watching is expecting an off the wall comedy like "I Love You Philip Morris" then I dont see why anyone should be upset about the gay scenes. Or you can even take a serious approach like with "Broke Back Mountain." The homosexuality in that film was beautifully portrayed as both natural and tragic. But when you throw it in to a movie where it has no real context to get a cheap laugh or make the audience uncomfortable, well, that's just sad in so many ways.

First off, Gervais rocks. As he said, it was a roast. He didn't out anyone. Those rumors have been around about Travolta and Cruise for quite a while. I don't think Cruise is but there has been way too much written about Travolta on the subject to ignore. I don't care either way, but Hollywood elites need to have the piss taken out of them every now and then.

As for the "climate" in my neck of the woods, it's very RED. My wife and I are not religious and try to instill an acceptance and tolerance in our kids toward all races, religions and sexual orientation. I know that phrasing sounds elitist but we try to reinforce that no person is better than any other on superficial reasons. We run into problems at school more than anything from weird comments from more religious kids and the like. And also the errant comment from a family member. But we think we are raising them right and are doing as best we can despite being in a somewhat less permissive environment.

But the sooner we can get out of here the better.

I'm not sure how one can accurately quantify "too gay."