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The 2010 Golden Globe Open Thread

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (202)

brangelina-golden-globes-2009.jpg

The 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards begin tonight on NBC at 8 EST. Stick around and chat about it below. Mock, celebrate, and complain. It’s the Pajiba way!

If you’re looking to spice up the Globes, here’s a few drinking cues:

— Drink whenever someone takes a shot at NBC over the late-night mess. Two drinks if the mention of Jay Leno elicits boos.

— Drink whenever there’s a reaction shot of Angelina Jolie.

— Drink whenever Ricky Gervais laughs maniacally.

— Drink whenever there’s a lame joke that makes reference to Avatar.

— Drink whenever you see a commercial for “Chuck.”

— Self-immolate if Sandra Bullock wins out over Meryl Streep in any category.

— Drink if anyone on stage is drunker than you are.


That should about take you to the first commercial break, before you completely pass out in a puddle of your own beer vomit.









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Comments

Shows what the hell you know Rowles, I'm drinking O.J. and Grande Marnier. Shows what you know.

And by the reports I've heard, Gervais is going to either make an ass of himself or make everyone at the GG look like asses. Time will tell.

Posted by: Xtreme at January 17, 2010 7:37 PM

tip to getting wasted during the pre-show: drink everytime someone is asked if they are staying dry... grrrr!

Posted by: gp at January 17, 2010 7:41 PM

The show hasn't even started and Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts are taking shots at NBC's late-night crisis. DRINK!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 7:41 PM

thank you Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 7:43 PM

I'd rather watch tonight's Law & Order: Bloated D'onofrio Intent on Bravo.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 17, 2010 7:45 PM

*sigh* I only get one channel these days, and it ain't showing the Globes (damn you, CBC!). Guess I'll have to make up my own drinking game....

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 7:52 PM

I was tempted to do this, drinking game and all, but Mr. Snuggie put in season two of Father Ted and even though we have the episodes memorized, they have a way of sucking you in.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 17, 2010 7:53 PM

I'm watching the playoffs and wish I had a drink. Is it too late to switch over to the GG's or will everyone be too far ahead on the drinking?

Posted by: that damn monkey at January 17, 2010 7:54 PM

I refuse to partake in any drinking 'games'. I'm much more serious about my drinking than to take to trivailizing something so important as a 'game'.

That, and the GG is recording, so I can skip through the drek at my leisure. Once my drinking is a little more underway.

Posted by: Xtreme at January 17, 2010 7:56 PM

Ricky is a bit cheeky today, eh?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:04 PM

Is there ANYTHING Clooney can't do??

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:06 PM

Oh wow, four minutes in and this pretty darn awkward. Which I love. Also on the list of things I love, the thought of a Gervais/Sutherland fight.

Also, apparently my mom loves Ricky Gervais. I have no idea why. She was only so-so on the original Office and she's only seen like one of his films... But hey, if that means I can laugh at weird primetime penis jokes while my mom is in the room because she thinks he's funny, then alright.

Aww Mo'nique.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 8:08 PM

I think Ricky is playing our drinking game too

Posted by: Woody at January 17, 2010 8:08 PM

I know, right? He just put together this telethon? Just out of nowhere?
And why did they give it to Mo'Nique? Mo'Nique doesn't want it, you can't eat a Golden Globe!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:09 PM

Gervais/Sutherland fight? Keifer or Donald?? Awww, man, this no TV thing sucks.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 8:16 PM

Optimus Rhyme, Mo'Nique cleared that rumor up on her talk show a few weeks ago. She will push every other nominee down the staircase if she has to to get her hands on the Oscar. She just believes campaigning is stupid because they should be judged on the performance they gave, not on who can get their head the furtherst into the Academy's collective digestive system.

Meanwhile, Lea Michele is going to knife someone over losing out on Best Actres Comedy/Musical. She is not a gracious loser. I'm...kind of afraid of her. She's not talented enough to hide the major bitchface after losing.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 8:16 PM

False, Rhyme, the Golden Globe, while traditionally a garnish, is edible.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 8:16 PM

Meaux, I left the Sutherland ambiguous because I liked the idea of either fighting Gervais... Or a tag team!

YES! Who would be Gervais' sparring partner?

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 8:19 PM

Anna Kendrick was robbed! Twilight 4Eva!

*cough* Excuse me. I had a seizure or something.

Is Michael C. Hall sick? What's with the do-rag?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:19 PM

He has cancer, Mel. And I thought Anna Kendrick looked really cute. And maybe a little scared of Mo'Nique.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:21 PM

meaux, they're livestreaming the Globes on ustream.tv.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:21 PM

And who's that old lesbian?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:21 PM

MelBivDevoe, Michael C Hall announced last week he had Hodgkin's lymphoma and had just finished treatment. Hence, the doorag.

Boy, I'm just full of exciting news tonight...

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 8:21 PM

That makes me sad, Optimus. Hope he recovers.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:22 PM

Aww, thanks, Mel--I'm off to check that out! (pleasebeavailableinCanadapleasebeavailableinCanada)

From what I've read, it sounds like Hall is doing well. I hope to hell it's true.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 8:24 PM

WOOHOO, I'm in!

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 8:25 PM

So is Lithgow actually straight or is that his beard in the audience?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:27 PM

Too much Moet for Felicity Huffman.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:32 PM

Extreme, watched all of thirty second, right on both accounts. Think I will go read a book instead.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at January 17, 2010 8:32 PM

1. Madame is Quentin Tarantino's doppelgänger. Discuss.

2. If Kathleen Turner and Jocelyn Wildenstein had a baby it would be Jeff Bridge's wife. Discuss.

3. Haiti existed pre 1/13/10 and needed humanitarian intervention but could not be found on a map by 99% of the Golden Globe attendees. Discuss.

Posted by: Lizardqueen at January 17, 2010 8:33 PM

John Hamm with a beard? How does he keep getting manlier?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:39 PM

I'm stuck at work tonight (still watching though). Someone want to volunteer to drink my portion in the GG drinking game? It really shouldn't go to waste...

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 17, 2010 8:41 PM

Either they're all drunk, or the layout is messed up. No one can seem to find their way to the stage.

Posted by: Brie at January 17, 2010 8:42 PM

I missed John Lithgow, was his speech good?

Posted by: TWoP Fan at January 17, 2010 8:44 PM

Wow, Cher's fuckin tall. And who needed to see her half tit?

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 8:45 PM

Okay, I gave up on the ustream link and am watching CTV with its crappy snowy reception. Is it just me, or does it really look like Christina's right tit is hanging out of her dress??

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 8:46 PM

I did! Alright? I needed it. And you know, Cher's not looking too bad.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 8:47 PM

And we hit the first shitty "Up in the Air" pun. Just give me another reason to hate the damn film other then genuinely not liking it at all.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 8:47 PM

@Meaux,

Don't I wish. Really awkward dress tho.

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 8:48 PM

Good for you Optimus. I guess I could agree that Cher's looking out of this planet.

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 8:49 PM

Heh, it looked it. She looked lovely aside from the weird chestal issue, though.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 8:50 PM

paul mccartney divorce jokes = awesome

Posted by: marcusarilius at January 17, 2010 8:51 PM

By the way I really loved the way Nicole Kidman and her husband was totally ignoring what's going on stage.

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 8:51 PM

Wait, was Gary Oldman in Target commercial just now? What the fuck is going on with that man?! Seriously!

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 8:53 PM

Amy Adams is sooooo trashed. Good on her.

And from now on I'll be adding ":Money Never Sleeps" to every movie title.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:54 PM

Rhyme, It's called puberty.

Brie, my mom and I keep discussing this. The tables are WAAAAAAY too close together, which, they obviously had to do for TV, but seriously... they have to be drunk. I mean, they're missing cues, they're confused, they're stumbling and knocking over the mic. Crazy Hollywood "elite."

Lizardqueen, I don't think you're giving them enough credit. They'd have to know the general area, they vacation near and around those islands all the time. And I'm not talking about Turks and Caicos, I'm talking about them hob-knobbing in Cuba, Pinko Commie Bastards.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 8:54 PM

Pregnancy looks good on Amy Adams.

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 8:55 PM

Amy Adams is pregnant? Man, I hope she's not drunk then. Just kinda loopy, apparently.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 8:57 PM

Errr Mel Biv Devoe, I believe she's preggers. Like, second trimester preggers.

Also, it's kind of not fair that they start the speech clock while they're jogging up to the stage.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 8:58 PM

I bet they all look forward to the Globes just for the free booze. I'd be drinking, but I have to drive to my mom's to watch Big Love with her tonight.

Posted by: TWoP Fan at January 17, 2010 8:59 PM

Meh... take Angelina and Brad off the top of this page - they didn't even bother to show up!

Posted by: Tina at January 17, 2010 9:01 PM

Tom Hanks rules!

Posted by: TWoP Fan at January 17, 2010 9:02 PM

How I wish Meryl Streep won for It's Complicated to make the online Oscar pundits' heads explode.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 9:02 PM

Meryl is DRUNK! And awesome!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:02 PM

1. Is Colin Farrell experiencing a hair plug rejection a la Tobias Fünke?

2. Oh, Meryl Streep, how I love you.

Posted by: Lizardqueen at January 17, 2010 9:04 PM

So drunk! T-Bone Streep for the win!

Posted by: TWoP Fan at January 17, 2010 9:04 PM

What the heck is Meryl Streep talking about? And why is she so out of breath??

Posted by: Tina at January 17, 2010 9:05 PM

Man, she was rambling but you could tell the producer didn't have the balls to turn on the music and get her going.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:05 PM

Nobody cuts off T-Bone Streep!

Posted by: TWoP Fan at January 17, 2010 9:06 PM

I'm here now, eating some absolutely delicious but wildly unhealthy enchiladas, drinking wine, and thinking Amy Adams should've gotten that dress re-fitted after her pregnancy boobs came in. Oh, and I want Meryl Streep's skin.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:06 PM

No one cuts off T-Bone Streep.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:07 PM

Seriously: Meryl Streep is fan-fucking-tastic. That is all.

Posted by: meghan at January 17, 2010 9:09 PM

I would stab a bitch for Helen Mirren's genetics. Holy hell but that woman is gorgeous.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:10 PM

I'll take Meryl Streep's skin & Helen Mirren's rack, Rusty. I hope I look that hot when I'm 60.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:10 PM

I love Helen Mirren's genetics too. Especially her "Take my clothes off in every movie" gene.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:12 PM

Seriously, Mel. I can only dream that I look that good at 50, nevermind 60 or beyond.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:12 PM

Yeah, there are some drunks onstage.

Don't know why, but Meryl was definitely out of breath, Tina.

Posted by: Brie at January 17, 2010 9:13 PM

I could listen to Sam Worthington talk in his natural accent all day.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:13 PM

On another completely shallow note (which appears to be where I'm gonna be hanging out tonight) why is Sam Worthington all squinty? If he can't see the teleprompter he should've work glasses. He'd still look hot in glasses. He'd look even hotter in my bed, but that's neither here nor there.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:14 PM

Damn it, why do they have such a hard on for Grey Gardens?

Fuck, I was going for Sigourney.

Posted by: Brie at January 17, 2010 9:15 PM

Oh, sure, if Grey Gardens is adapted for a TV movie, is breathtaking and award worthy, but when it's a badass Broadway musical, it's just a showcase for two actresses and costumes. Fuck these awards bodies.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 9:17 PM

Jesus Christ wrapped in a golden diaper Drew Barrymore, STFU with your babe in the woods routine. You've been in Hollywood for 35 years, stop babbling. Go mainline a Xanax and apologize to your date for being a babbling dilettante.

Posted by: Lizardqueen at January 17, 2010 9:18 PM

Awww T-Bone was toasted and thanking her mom. So sweet.

Oh Drew Barrymore...

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:19 PM

Oh, Lizardqueen, Drew's just mad that she won for this and not for directing Whip It. That speech was an elaborate protest for downplaying her brilliant directing skills, like Colin Farrel using Marion Cotillard's name as a way to express his distate with the French.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 9:20 PM

Cameron Diaz's looks have not aged well. Anyone else remember The Mask? She was 100% hot in The Mask. Maybe she needs to fill out a little again.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:21 PM

Is Jennifer Aniston trying to show me her Vajayjay with that dress? because that's what it looks like. That is a loooooonnnnnngggg slit. In the skirt. Don't be nasty.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:23 PM

Films nerds of course couldn't go without mentioning Tarantino. "I'm still waiting for them to call your name, Quentin" *FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP*.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:26 PM

Glad Maggie Gylenhaal could get that PSA out without puking all over the podium.

Posted by: Tina at January 17, 2010 9:28 PM

Gahhh, I can't do it. I try not to dislike Maggie Gyllenhaal on sight, but she looks so much like hateful-chick-from-grad-school. Sorry, Mags.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 9:29 PM

And can we hammer out this whole "Is Maggie Gyllenhaal attractive?" thing? I think she's got angles where she's definitely cute.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:29 PM

Apparently, Maggie Gyllenhaal doesn't deserve an announcer introduction since her name isn't Avatar.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 9:29 PM

Jennifer Aniston needs to put that leg hip bone away. Toooooo much slit.

Rusty, Diaz hasn't aged well, but it doesn't help that she insists on wearing harsh red lipstick all the dang time. Softer colors would suit her so much better.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:29 PM

"Cameron Diaz's looks have not aged well. Anyone else remember The Mask? She was 100% hot in The Mask. Maybe she needs to fill out a little again."

There's a few seminal moments in a young boy's life. His first dog, favorite sports memory, first time you see boobs. And there is always, ALWAYS, the first time you find yourself humping the screen during a viewing of The Mask.

But Cameron, my once fair lady...
Wha happened??

Posted by: D-Day at January 17, 2010 9:31 PM

I like Maggie Gyllenhaal, but I kinda felt like she was nagging us to donate.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:31 PM

God bless Gervais for hosting this like the masturbatory schlock it is.

Posted by: mae at January 17, 2010 9:31 PM

Robert, you deserve an award for your Colin and Marion comment. No one should put that much emphasis on "lard" any where near that girl.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:32 PM

Diaz would have looked ok if she wasn't so greasy.

Emily Blunt looks cute.

Posted by: Brie at January 17, 2010 9:33 PM

I'll admit it, I love Inglourious Basterds. I just feel like it's such a fun movie to watch. And I've seen it like eight times since Christmas when my brother got it as a present.

Also, Sophia; I love you and the dress, but the glasses? I question the glasses.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:34 PM

Sophia is always so....bedazzled.

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 9:34 PM

I'll say it: Sophia Loren looks like the reanimated corpse of Sophia Loren. Good grief, she's held together by Scotch tape the memories of when she was on the good side of 70.

Posted by: Daniel Carlson at January 17, 2010 9:35 PM

I question the glasses; I do not question the hair. It is most definitely frightening.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 9:36 PM

good god, Sophia Loren rocks but she has GOT to lay off the plastic surgery, she looks downright frightening

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 17, 2010 9:36 PM

See? SEE? In the header pic, Jolie is eye-fucking the cameras, as usual, and Pitt has the 1,000-yard stare.

What? I DON'T CARE if he's wearing sunglasses, I KNOW that behind them are the eyes of a man who, when he wakes every morning, thinks to himself:

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. I've seen Angie's Pajiba. Time to die.

Posted by: , at January 17, 2010 9:37 PM

Haha Arnold looked like he was sitting on something long an hard. Like a stick.

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 9:37 PM

Haneke's on stage = obligatory shot of Schwarzenegger

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:37 PM

Oh, Chuck, I wouldn't fake anything with you.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:38 PM

More bearded Hamm! (Newest euphemism for the vagine?)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:39 PM

Oh hey! Madmen won! I'm so very… what's the opposite of surprised? Oh, that's right, bored.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:39 PM

YES CHRISTINA HENDRICKS!!!

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 9:40 PM

Awwww, Mad Men cast is so pretty!

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 9:40 PM

Optimus! Bwahahaha!

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 9:40 PM

Anyone think that "Madmen" keeps winning so they can pull Christina Hendricks and her glorious breasts on-stage at least once a year? I want to get my hands on those puppies and I've even got a set of my own to play with. Also: am not a lesbian.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:41 PM

Jesus Christ. Christina's titties can really bounce.

Ew, Vincent as a blonde. Not a good look.
Hairy John Hamm looks good.

Posted by: Brie at January 17, 2010 9:41 PM

They bounced. Did you see them bounce?!

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 9:41 PM

Oh hello, Zachary Levi. Also, as lovely as Ms. Paquin looks in her gold dress, why has no one panned to Alexander Skarsgard. I believe he's in attendance. And the Foreign Press has to recognize him for his work as Meenkus, right?

Basically what I'm saying is we need an excuse to show off more tall sexy men I'm attracted to. That's my snapshot of America, Census bureau.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:43 PM

"And can we hammer out this whole "Is Maggie Gyllenhaal attractive?" thing? I think she's got angles where she's definitely cute."

UPDATE ON SAD TURTLE FACE'S LOOKS:

Maggie Gyllenhall needs to always dress fairly casual. She can't do the hole dress-up-heavy-makeup-thick-lipstick thing. It just doesn't suit her. Makes her look like one of those girls from the 30's with the knock-kneed dancing. She's like an ex I had who looked like a dragon lady when she tried the glamour look. However, I *used* to think Maggie was pug-fugly-wiggly-ugly.

Like, look, she didn't look good getting chased by Christian Bale. I'm a straight dude and I'm banging Bale first in that movie. Then Harvey Dent. Followed by Jim Gordon. Followed by the Joker. Then Maggie.

But I'll be damned if that little banner pic a while ago from Crazy Heart (where she's looking at the Dude and he's got the cowboy hat on) doesn't make her damn cute. She's good looking with her hair medium length, naturally brown, with soft makeup and an "outdoorsy" look (no homo). Side profile is quietly inviting, like a chick who you can get a beer with and has a strong sarcastic tone that challenges you to be witty. Coffe aroma, and a hint of nutmeg (throwaway joke).

Some people need to stick to their limitations. I give you Maggie Gyllenhall.

Posted by: D-Day at January 17, 2010 9:44 PM

Thank you Christina Hendricks for existing in such a magnificent flesh beauty.

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 9:44 PM

With a pair of performances like that, it's shocking Christina Hendricks hasn't been nominated for Supporting Actress. Are they waiting for her to go naked like she was a man on True Blood before making with the nod?

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 9:44 PM

commadaddy, I'm swooning a little bit at that comment. That was awesome.

PS Poor Brad Pitt. He does look a little shell-shocked these days.

Posted by: MM at January 17, 2010 9:46 PM

Her tag is sticking out.

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 9:47 PM

How could you tell if anyone ripped that dress?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 9:48 PM

God, I have the biggest girl crush on Kristen Bell.

Also, wtf? Jane Lynch people!

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 17, 2010 9:48 PM

That's a whole lotta ruffles.

Did Gervais just sip straight scotch? I love him.

Oh hey, Halle Berry's tits showed up!

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:49 PM

I can't tell if Gervais' jokes are weak or if it's the show. But I was expecting more.

I want Halle's body, even though I'm inappropriately entranced by Christina's breasts.

Posted by: Brie at January 17, 2010 9:50 PM

Tarantino's forehead probably does have it's own gravitational pull.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:51 PM

I will never be able to hear this man talk without being very very VERY nervous. What I'm saying is; Christoph Waltz absolutely deserves this award.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:51 PM

Jane Lynch- Robbed.
Christoph Waltz- Wins at Life.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:52 PM

Whoops, its. I should probably not be mixing Bailey's with cold medicine. I do have work in the morning.

Eff the life of a temp.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:53 PM

is anybody from Twilight There?

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at January 17, 2010 9:53 PM

Rhyme, agreed.

Rusty, emphatically agreed. I was holding my breath waiting for him to give his terms for a negotiation. He may have been hiding an evil master plan in that beard.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 9:56 PM

Aw man. Why would you put them on stage together? It's like putting the ex wife next to the hot new girlfriend. We all know that Marty is taking Leo home tonight. To sleep at the foot of his bed.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 9:58 PM

I'm waiting for the day when Leonardo DiCaprio looks his age. Since he still looks 18, I think I'm gonna be waiting a while.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 9:59 PM

Everytime the camera goes to Martin, my eyes can't help but gravitate directly to RDJ in the background, chewing something.

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 10:01 PM

You know what I just realized? I've only ever seen one Scorsese movie in my entire life. And that movie was "After Hours."

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 10:03 PM

I was against awarding Marty since they keep cutting back on any speech by someone not proud to be an American, but the rocking opening music changed my mind. Then it switched to progressively less awesome music. I say all future montages need to be set to the theme of Exorcist II: The Heretic or "Be Italian" as sung by Fergie from Nine.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:03 PM

I've always wanted to see Gangs of New York. I mean, I love Daniel Day Lewis and giant top hats. It's like my perfect movie.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:05 PM

Heh, funny you should say that, Robert--I was just thinking that I'd forgotten how powerfully emotional that part of Funeral For A Friend is, so apparently I disagree. Though I'm not familiar with the songs you suggest....

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 10:06 PM

Optimus, Gangs of New York is way more about Leonardo DiCaprio and burning resentment and vengeance than it is about Daniel Day Lewis and top hats.

Although there are some wonderful Top Hats and beyond wonderful Daniel Day Lewis. Maybe watch it with a finger on the fast forward button.

In other news: when drunk I can employ html coding flawlessly but have trouble with capitalization and spelling. Weird.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:08 PM

meaux, I'll give you a cryptic hint: one is an underrated song in a confused film, and the other is an utterly ridiculous song in a confused film. Which is which may surprise you.

They did, afterall, give an honorary Oscar a few years ago to the composer of Exorcist II, while the other involves Fergie gargling a song about screwing like Italians.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:09 PM

I love Target, but I do not care for their contortionists.

I also did not care for that joke about Martin making love to some film reels. Because now 'm thinking about him having sex... And well... Ugh. Brushing those eyebrows would have to be considered foreplay, right?

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:13 PM

ZING! Ricky gets off a good one and just books it out of there.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:15 PM

Gervais just came out on stage with a beer ... to introduce Mel Gibson.

Foster Brooks, I miss you.

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 17, 2010 10:15 PM

Mel Gibson is totally drunk, isn't he? Nothing in Catholicism that says you can't have a drink every so often, good on him for indulging.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:15 PM

Poor Tarentino, always a bridesmaid.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 10:16 PM

Kayanne, you're lying if you're trying to say you wouldn't want to run your fingers through those thick, lush brows.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:16 PM

I love that Mel Gibson played along with the drunk joke, it's so totally "Look at how nonchalant I am about my DUI." Classy.

But honestly, if he had said, "I'm here to talk about sugartits," I would have died with joy. Maybe Cameron will thank sugartits in his speech.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:16 PM

Gotta give Ricky credit for the balls.

Posted by: Cindy at January 17, 2010 10:16 PM

And we were all waiting for him to say sugartits.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:17 PM

Was that Worthington's date sitting next to him in the red dress slouching? I'm totally cuter than her. Call me, Sam!

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:19 PM

Rhyme, you caught me. I would snuggle with those eyebrows, then wrap them around me like a luxurious mink coat and-

OH GOD HE'S SPEAKING NA'AVI.

shoot me in the face

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:19 PM

Yay, Glee!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 10:20 PM

Kiefer was totally down that dress.

Posted by: Cindy at January 17, 2010 10:20 PM

If Glee can win a Golden Globe, surely RuPaul can strong arm her way into a Reality TV Hosting nomination at next year's Emmys, right?

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:20 PM

Artie can walk?! Give back that Golden Globe! YOU LIE!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:21 PM

Optimus

Hahahahaha

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 17, 2010 10:22 PM

Is the cameraman who's filming Anna Paq stuck to the floor? I feel like he's starting to just awkwardly cut to her to see how she'll respond.

And yay, Glee! Glad you won before you jumped the shark. And no, faking pregnancies up to 5 months does not count as jumping the shark. And hopefully Jane Lynch gets to keep that award, she friggin' worked it this season.

I'll donate a puppy and punch someone in the face in your honor, Sue!

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:22 PM

Whaa? Where's Zach Whassisface?

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 10:26 PM

I just came to say, Puck in a tux. Roar.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at January 17, 2010 10:26 PM

D-Day, you've just reminded me of one of my biggest pet peeves that I'm shocked I've never seen bitched about on here (unless I've just missed it): the phrase "no homo." Makes me feel punchy and stabby.

Posted by: Woody at January 17, 2010 10:27 PM

Awww T-Bone needs a nap. And holy crap The Hangover won? Why isn't Zack Galifinakis there? He needs to be onstage being drunker than Gervais.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:28 PM

Has Andie McDowell done anything OTHER than L'Oreal commercials in the last 5 years?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 10:30 PM

The Hangover definitely wasn't a favorite of mine, but I'll allow it. Because, you know, anyone cares what I think.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:30 PM

I like that they played Ed Helms' tiger song when they went up.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:32 PM

Fine. I'll say it. The Hangover should be sweeping the Razzies, not accepting an award at the Golden Globes. It's awful. Just awful. It was one of the most painful theater experiences and I couldn't leave because my ride was pissing his pants over it. Oh, baby smashed into a car door and TASAR abuse - hilarious, right? Or what about quickie Vegas weddings and naked fat/Korean guys - a laugh riot, am I right folks? And castrating cunts against bachelor parties? Actually, I support them, because if the idiots told the fucking truth about their plans they would have never gotten into the car and produced such a horrible plot.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:33 PM

Heehee he says "Avatar," "Abadah."

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:34 PM

Ugh. He's Canadian and shares my maiden name, yet I still want to punch James Cameron. Especially with the douchey hair.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 10:36 PM

Heehee he says "Avatar," "Abadah."

Oh, I just thought he was really into Aveda salons.

Posted by: jM at January 17, 2010 10:37 PM

Sandra Bullock? What? Wasn't she just a WASPy bitch in that movie? Isn't that what she is in real life?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:37 PM

I've just been drinking throughout - is this wrong?

Posted by: BonBiz at January 17, 2010 10:37 PM

As much as Gabourey Sidibe was straight up robed, I think it was kind of sweet how nervous Jesse James was for his wife.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:38 PM

He clearly is, jM. Look at that shiny skin!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 10:38 PM

Is the whole bottom of Sandy's dress see through? Ballsy.

Also, I'm a bit disappointed that Rourke didn't bring a wee doggie on stage with him.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:38 PM

Ooh, there is much eye candy in this category.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 10:39 PM

At least JGL will win for (500) Days of Summer, right?

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:39 PM

JGL looks so dapper tonight!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 17, 2010 10:40 PM

I so wanted JGL to get some love... it's so hard to be upset at his loss, though, with Robert Downey Jr up on stage

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 17, 2010 10:42 PM

RDJ's wife is adorable. I love Matt Damon's wife too.

Posted by: becks at January 17, 2010 10:42 PM

I can't say anything about this win that the 'Jibettes won't say more eloquently.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:42 PM

Amazing.

Posted by: Manda90210 at January 17, 2010 10:42 PM

Wow, Dustin really missed the mark on the Chuck promo guess. NBC's really putting all of its eggs in this Parenthood basket, isn't it?

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:43 PM

Oh my lord, When In Rome looks atrocious.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 10:44 PM

I haven't seen Sherlock Holmes yet. Is it supposed to be a comedy or was it marketed that way when they realized a Sherlock Holmes film with giant action sequences was probably a bad idea?

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:44 PM

I'll put all my eggs in Peter Krause's basket.

Posted by: Cindy at January 17, 2010 10:45 PM

Oh, Robert Downey Junior. You have a standing invitation to my personal Uncanny Valley.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:45 PM

Has anyone else seen that the daughter in "Parenthood" is Ann Veal? Ann "Mayon-egg" Veal?
Every time the commercial comes on I say "Her?" and nobody gets it.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:47 PM

The dude abides.

Posted by: Mick J at January 17, 2010 10:48 PM

Toby forgot to put on his neutral face. Oops.

Posted by: Reba at January 17, 2010 10:48 PM

Reba, you caught that, too, huh? Spidey was piss-ay.

And Jeff Bridges wife is lovely. Nicely done, Dude.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:51 PM

A lot of film bloggers have been reporting that Toby Maguire has worked industry screenings like a 1980s Times Square whore to get every vote he could. I'd be damn pissed too after going down that many times to get nominated.

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:53 PM

Ha, Tobey being a bitch. Get over it man, you didn't belong in there anyway.

Posted by: Mick J at January 17, 2010 10:53 PM

Look, half a Chuck promo! I'm sure that requires libations, no?

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 10:55 PM

Just go away, Julia. You aren't attractive.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 10:56 PM

Abada you'd better not win.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:56 PM

Well that blows.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at January 17, 2010 10:56 PM

Gayyyyyyyy

Posted by: Mick J at January 17, 2010 10:57 PM

Bah. Stupid Avatar.

Posted by: meaux at January 17, 2010 10:57 PM

What was tricky Ricky saying about buying Golden Globes?

Posted by: Mick J at January 17, 2010 10:58 PM

I will not pretend that Avatar had nearly as much heart and feeling as Precious, but it did have more cat sex than any other film out there. Thanks for being a visionary, Cameron, you arrogant prick.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:58 PM

Fuuuuuuck. I liked the movie okay, but FUCK the best picture award for it. Just. No.

Posted by: Reba at January 17, 2010 10:58 PM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not the AVatar!!!

Posted by: yocean at January 17, 2010 10:58 PM

worst. show. ever!

Posted by: Luke at January 17, 2010 10:59 PM

Awww how cute, Cameron is calling for a circle jerk.

Go fight your own dragon. And lose.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 17, 2010 10:59 PM

Jeff Bridges is smoking hot! He's like Kris Kristofferson younger brother...I'll be in my bunk.

James Cameron stfu. You've been married like 10 times, every woman but tonight's hates you and now you admit you're neighbors with Mel? That's the axis of evil.

Posted by: bananapanda at January 17, 2010 10:59 PM

Who will don a set of one piece long underwear, turn on GSN, and dance their pain away with me tonight? Surely someone is at least willing to throw their TV down a staircase...

Posted by: Robert at January 17, 2010 11:02 PM

Does anyone else ever think these Open Threads are just so Dustin gets a select few of us constantly commenting and refreshing? And then he just sits back and watches the cash roll in?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 11:03 PM

Speaking of Mrs. Bridges- I once saw Jeff B on a talk show saying he met her when he was shooting a film in her town and she was a waitress. She had a broken nose and black eyes and he was intrigued. I love that!

Posted by: bananapanda at January 17, 2010 11:05 PM

You know, I did not like Avatar, but I am having trouble finding anger that it won best picture because I can't deny that it was important. With film being a synthesis of multiple parts to tell a story, I can't deny that it used the part of motion pictures to tell a story quite remarkably. If it didn't have to tell such a pisspoor story, I'd high-five it any day. Although, let's be honest, Precious was the real best movie of this year (and you can file that shit under the post of great movies I will never watch again, thank you very much)

Posted by: Carl Winslow at January 17, 2010 11:17 PM

From The A.V. Club's coverage- "When is Stanley Tucci going to accept his destiny and play a turtle? Who is also a professor? AKA Professor Turtle?".

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 17, 2010 11:20 PM

I just have to say that if I were any of those people and I had to walk past Paul McCartney on my way to the stage ... I don't think I could do it without squealing and/or peeing my pants a little. Even if he is getting old and saggy. Beatles 4 LYFE!

Posted by: Bequafina at January 17, 2010 11:22 PM

Wow bananapanda, I love Jeff Bridges, too! We're so in sync sometimes. We could talk about it some more... over dinner, perhaps?

Posted by: jM at January 17, 2010 11:33 PM

I know I'm late to the party but I just couldn't find a live feed that wasn't fucked up so I DVR'ed the bitch and watched on a significant time lag. Here is the main impression I am taking to bed with me tonight:

SAM WORTHINGTON IS A LITTLE WEE FELLER! I did not know nor suspect this before I saw him nestling under Zoe Saldana's armpit up there on stage.

It makes him so much more attractive! I WANT TO SNEAK HIM HOME IN MY POCKET!!

Posted by: Jerce at January 17, 2010 11:35 PM

jm thanks for the love but I don't swing that way! Hee. Unless you're a man, in which case I'm confused.

Is it weird that I'm liking Sandra Bullock tonight? I think she's kinda crap actress but I thought she was well composed and rather charming tonight. She looked surprised and Mikey looked annoyed but she played it well. (Plus she quietly donated $1mn to Haiti this week and I seem to recall her doing that before. Tsunami? Katrina?)

Jane Lynch is eating a banana during her interview. Love her! She's very discreet but she haunts my dreams...

Posted by: bananapanda at January 17, 2010 11:53 PM