Pajiba

Katherine Heigl mostly.

Failing that, Jennifer Aniston.

Gerard Butler.

I'm out of ideas.

My favourite rom-com is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind so you can figure how I roll. Make more of them like that.

When Harry Met Sally

Romancing the Stone

His Girl Friday

...I'm out of ideas

I thought Serendipity was a good movie but in a depressing way. Maybe only because it hit me in a weird place at the time.

I like your serial killers falling in love idea. Except with Dexter's popularity whoever picked it up would probably ruin it by copying too much of that.

Can someone please explain to me what the hell "meet-cute" means? Seriously. I don't understand. I'm far from the romance movie kind of guy but only because they mostly suck.

JOHN CUSACK ALL DAY EVERY DAY

But seriously, I loved this:

God forbid anyone short or fat or bald find love. We’re meant to live under bridges and sully goats with our clubs

What am I looking for in a Rom-Com? Hmm, well as someone who has suffered through many a crappy formulaic rom-com thanks to my better half, I have a few requests...

I want normal people. I do not someone who has a mad-libs occupation, a million dollar apartment and who looks like they have a daily appointment with a beauty spa. They should be likable far before the hook-up takes place. If they come off as being complete jerks, we have no way to identify with them, therefore if we don't like them why would we care if the anyone else does?

I don't want the soundtrack to be consist of 40 contemporary pop song snippets. It's okay to show their musicals tastes, have "their song" or even a movie theme, but I didn't come hear to hear a sample compilation of Sony's contract recording artists shoehorned into inappropriate scenes and who quite often are drowning out the actors' dialogue. If a movie has a 30 second spot here or there they absolutely have to fill with background music, hire a composer and put in some appropriate instrumental tone.

I don't want there to be the obligatory fat, ugly, and yet wise best friend, the temptress slut, the over-the-top stereotypical gay friend, and the sharp dressed dullard. The support cast should be an extension of each of the main characters and their inner thoughts, not someone just to push a sluggish story forward with cheap humor and Hallmark card philosophy pointing out the obvious.

If there has to be a break-up can it please be for a legitimate reason such as a personal insecurity, trust issue or serious character flaw rather than the convoluted misunderstanding based upon one trivial instance of miscommunication?

We need to see some growth and chemistry between the two characters- we can't have them fall in love just because. They not only need to make their counterpart fall in love with them, they need the audience to do the same. I like sex as much as the next person, but for the sake of a 90-minute story, it should be the payoff not the reason they are together. Lust is fun, but never really a good reason to hang on.

And finally, would it kill Hollywood to find a few new fresh faces who can also legitimately act? Go scour the stages of Broadway if you have to. I'm tired of seeing the same shrill harpies essentially just playing the same characters with different names. And I'm equally tired of seeing "leading men" who blend into one another with either extreme blandness or wackiness- both are unrealistic and not endearing. If I didn't like you in the last movie, why the hell would I like you doing the same thing now? It not only makes them look limited, but it stunts the story if the we automatically fall into an actor's stereotype rather than getting to know a new character for the first time.

I enjoy romcoms, but I see what you mean about "comedies". I want a movie where two people fall in love organically and believably, and I want a few true laughs. It doesn't have to be constant (attempted) funny. I had a few good laughs during The Freebie, because organic relationships are funny - in my experience - but it is far from a comedy. I enjoyed TiMER, and I laughed, but calling it a romcom feels cheap. I think the word has just become synonymous with the aforementioned studio slut-machine results.

And I'm with figgy on 11 - I LOATHE the love-built-on-a-lie scenario. Predictable and gross.

Just quit insulting my intelligence by assuming all women are shallow, materialistic bitches who need to find THE ONE, Rom-Com Producers and Writers. Really, if I see another movie where the female protagonist is obsessed with clothes, shoes, planning her wedding when she is currently single, or finding the perfect man to plug into her fantasy wedding, I will mothereffing cut a bitch.
Perhaps I'm just not the rom-com type, since most of them make me stabby. But dammit, I am a girl, and I like romance too...just because I'm not a conventional girly-girl, I get the short end of the rom-com stick.
Then again, the only movie I've seen and felt truly moved by the romantic ending was Secretary, and when I tell people that they look at me like I just raped a kitten. I suppose I will just have to accept the fact that I'll be dissatisfied with 95% of rom-coms.

I want a main character who is not Jilted Career Girl Who Lives in NYC. I don't think Hollywood's aware of this, but there are states other than New York.

I want an age-appropriate actress to play the female lead. Don't give me Hillary Swank trying to pass off being 19 years old. I mean, really?

I want that lead female character to have a job that is not in a publishing or fashion career field.

I want a male lead who is attractive. It's been discussed on this site ad nauseum but it really is irritating when the woman looks like a supermodel and the guy is a chubby slob or simply unattractive, but she falls for him anyway because he's "funny." This wouldn't be an issue if the roles were reversed, ever, but they're not; the "ugly" girl only gets the hot guy post-makeover.

Act 2: someone does something fuck-all stupid in order to generate a crisis, so we have something to resolve in Act 3.

This, this is the single thing that destroys a rom-com for me, when an argument spawns out of thin air for no other reason than for the couple to have something to overcome.

The last two I watched that I truly enjoyed were Morning Glory and Going the Distance. Both of them have those "act 2 speedbumps" to overcome, but they don't feel contrived and they don't materialize out of thin air.

Oh, and even though Going the Distance used it (although at the beginning, and not the linchpin to close the movie with,) if I have to watch one more person race through an airport to catch the love of their life before they leave forever, I'm going to TSA patdown the scriptwriter with a rabid badger.

Oh, and on that note, no more flying off to Europe on spur-of-the-moment vacations. Airfare and hotels are expensive, and actual families and real people need to plan (and save up) for a while in order to make them happen. Please stop having a romantic crisis fixed by "I'll just fly to fucking Ireland and tell them I love them face to face."

This thread wasn't about Ben Folds at all! Lame.

End credits.

My second favourite rom-com? The Silence of the Lambs.

how about some good old fashioned BLACK people instead of just the one token friend.

I should really stop posting comments from my phone, so as to keep up the illusion I can spell correctly.

Love Actually.

Don't saddle either party with an already existing boyfriend/girlfriend who is evil, vapid, mean, generally unlikeable or Billy Zabka. Ooooh, it's a conflict because the current S.O. is just all wrong for them! It's also the story of someone breaking up an existing relationship. Maybe ol' Zabka wouldn't be such a dick if the story was told from his point of view. And if the hero is Adam Sandler or Katherine Heigl then by all means STAY WITH WHO YOU'VE GOT!

Less random-ass couplings.

More random ass couplings.

It's gotta be smart and it's gotta be funny, and the funny needs to come from sharp dialogue. That usually means -- and I say this as a manly man -- it must have George Clooney.

I know people have touched on this, but I hate how the female lead is usually this uptight harpy and the man is all "you're such a drag" and then he loosens her up because all she needed to be peaceful and happy was a man. The Heigl is one of the worst offenders. Think about it: Heigl in The Ugly Truth, 27 Dresses, Life as We Know It, Knocked Up, and I assume Killers, but I did not see that one because Kelso makes me want to barf. Not all women have a huge bug up their ass, and we have other things going on than being obsessed with work and controlling. Get it together.

500 Days of Summer was not romantic or funny. It was annoying. There, I said it.

::ducks::

Figgy, you've been holding that in for a while, haven't you? Basically, rom com is overdone and under-thought. It takes a formula, plugs it in, and gets an audience. But I'm not one of them. I passed through my rom com phase many years ago.

Case in point: Best rom com? "You've Got Mail." I think it passes on almost everything Figgy lists. Ok, he is wealthy and there is a bit of deception. But there's a reason and rhyme to it and they fall in love so slowly and understandably. And yes, it was charming. Truth About Cats & Dogs kinda got on my nerves. But at least it was well done.

I am so jumping on the contrived obstacles bandwagon. Why does it always have to be something so completely inane and that ultimately involves one person sprinting through a maze of cars (people, rabid spider monkeys) to confess their love to another (except Love Actually, because having the 10 year old boy do it through airport security was hard to resist).

People have real conflicts and obstacles to overcome, often themselves. I always point to the season on Gilmore Girls where Luke and Lorelai finally got together as being the best example. Two people who loved each other but just operated in such different ways that there was natural tension at times. We've all been there! Sometimes that person that balances you out can also frustrate the hell out of you an dmake you question being together.

Of course, I would argue that Pajibans aren't the intended rom-com crowd so we'll never be satisfied. The studios cater to those that feel vindicated when that horrible Carrie Bradshaw finally snares the insufferable Mr. Big or the Kevin Jameses of the world, who can only hope that they can land a vacuous supermodel while having no manners, job, nor prospects. I did like what the did with "Easy A", though.

I have always thought that "When Harry Met Sally" was damn near perfect as a romantic comedy. Two equally fallible, flawed characters who manage to make their way to each other.

Paultera, a meet-cute is (according to a character in the deliciously fun romcom The Holiday): "Say a man and a woman both need something to sleep in and both go to the same men's pajama department. The man says to the salesman, 'I just need bottoms,' and the woman says, 'I just need a top.' They look at each other and that's the 'meet cute."

Essentially, it's a contrived situation that allows the leading characters to meet so that they can later fall in love.

Mrs. Smith, The Women is AMAZING. I was so pissed when they remade it, because they missed the entire point. Every moment of that movie is perfect. I miss old Hollywood.

kiyo-chan, I agree with the grand gesture fail. I have a friend who is having trouble having a real, adult relationship because she expects things like that to be real. RomComs have ruined her concept of what romance, love, and relationships are really about. When things go wrong (or don't happen according to script), she has to double check with me and my fiance to see if "that's what happens in real relationships in real life." Seriously.

I think my favorite rom-com would have to be “Wimbledon” with Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst (it’s the only movie I can actually watch her in anymore). I was trying to think why and I think it’s a combination of a bunch of stuff already mentioned here.
1) The comedy is incidental to the story.
2) The conflict in the relationship is a combination of work pressure/familial stress. No one is doing shit just to create conflicts.
3) The couple makes sense-they are both professionals, just at different points in their lives. Granted that Kiki’s character is a top-ranked player and has mucho dinero, but having one half of the couple be more financially successful is a relatable conflict.
4) Most importantly, the characters have their own internal agency. Everyone has their reasons. And that is enough to make me overlook the ‘meet cute’ and the fact that they fall in love so fast.

I do think it's interesting that the main character is the man, not the woman in the relationship. It definitely changes the tone and dynamic of a rom-com. But it was a change I liked.

Or it could just be all the British accents.

i second the love for the tao of steve as a great example. i'm trying to think of other examples and i'm coming up with nothing. what does that mean? i don't generally like rom-coms; the big ticket item for me has to be believability and nearly everything out there in this category is just not realistic, not even remotely.

i second the lover for silence of the lambs as well. good choice that.

what about something like....the two kids from saved: the wild girl and the kid in the wheelchair? that was cute

I am sick of the woman who thinks her life is only complete once she has a particular man. I think most people go through life trying to be the best person they can be, and wanting companionship on that ride. Why can't my rom-com heroines?

It's one of the things I really enjoyed about Definitely, Maybe. All the female leads were working on themselves, trying to figure out their own selves, lives, careers, and not depending on some man to come and hand them happiness.

I also hate the men-are-so-awful card. If they are, why do women want one? There's one rom-com I particularly like, that's overall not a great movie but were I like the portrayal of all of this: Someone Like You (Ashley Judd, Hugh Jackman, Greg Kinnear). The "men are bad" schtick is played, but as Hugh Jackman's character points out, it's not the men, it's the brush the heroine has chosen to tar all men with so she won't have to face her own issues. And he's right. It was refreshing.

For those of you who know the authors or might be interested, novelists Jennifer Crusie and Lani Diane Rich have a podcast series, Popcorn Dialogues, that reviews a bunch of rom-coms to figure it what exactly makes a good one. It's interesting stuff.

No more contrivances! No more convoluted obstacle courses that the couples have to overcome in order to be togther.

You know what's difficult? Starting a relationship. Getting to know each other and figuring out how things are gonna work. That's all the drama that is needed.

You've all just nominated some of my all time fave movies. I would also suggest Edward Norton's directorial debut Keeping the Faith. The characters have real motivations and reactions and crisis and even though it might play around with tropes, it does it with a lighter touch.

I have to second Stranger than Fiction. It's one of the movies I constantly rewatch and it's because the romance works (also the which-literary-character-are-you-not quiz makes me laugh every time.)

I will watch the really crappy romantic comedies, Leap Year and al. usually because I've having a bad day. But I know as I'm watching them that I'm just watching it to have something else to think about, and maybe make fun of. It's the movies I return to over and over again that I really love. And the reason why I love them is because there are real things at stake alongside the romance.
Penelope has self esteem issues and gambling problems, While You Were Sleeping (it's ok to laugh at me) is about loneliness and the need for family and The Apartment is about how far people will go for success.

Also, romantic comedies need to be funny. Think Some like it Hot or It Happened One Night. I know that moments from both get copied regularly, but they're so fresh in the context of these movies.

(Thank you for mentioning Keeping the Faith and Stranger Than Fiction, because I heart them both)

As to the idea of people hating each other first, that can be awfully contrived and overdone, but it can also be realistic. When I first met C in college (who I later dated for two years) I thought he was a huge prick. Then a mutual friend starting bragging on him all the time, telling me he wrote poetry and he lead singing in their class, and how he brought her soup once when she was sick, blah blah blah. I started to look at him differently, and we eventually dated and then fell in love.

Now, in retrospect, he WAS a total prick, but it didn't mean he wasn't also great. People have layers, and those layers are what make them interesting and engaging.

I suppose when it bothers me in film is when a) they change from asshole to angel, like magic, or b) when we are supposed to believe the anger caused by prickishness is actually lust in our subconscious, like women not-so-secretly LIKE being treated like shit.

No love for the "40 Year Old Virgin"? That is definently one of my fave rom coms. And I like that their split in the middle of the movie is about his insecurity telling her that he is a virgin and not some weird contrivance. Her job is a bit to quirkalicious but other than that it works damn well.