George Miller, Please Reboot The Rebooted 'Jem And The Holograms'

By Kristy Puchko | Miscellaneous | May 15, 2015 |

By Kristy Puchko | Miscellaneous | May 15, 2015 |

George,

Hi. I know this might seem like a lot to ask, since you’ve just completed a 15-year marathon to make Mad Max: Fury Road. And it may even seem unnecessary because Jem and the Holograms isn’t even out yet, so why should we be talking reboot?

But, sir, it’s clear you understand what it means to be “truly, truly, truly outrageous.”

This was Jem’s creedo. Her ACTUAL theme song. Truly, truly, truly outrageous was all I needed the live-action movie of my beloved ’80s cartoon show to be. Yet when I saw the film’s first trailer, after months of anticiaption, my hopes were dashed. No big pink hair. No sci-fi Synergy swapping. No murderous Misfits. Just a bland girl and her slightly less bland alter ego moaning about teen angst the hassles of being “the next big thing.”

They gave us this:

But you gave us this:

Imperator Furiosa, a yowling warrior with one-arm, two tons of guns, and zero fucks to give.

You gave us a heroine that is truly, truly, truly outrageous, plus eye-makeup that’s actually fierce as fuck and weirdly enviable despite being made of axel grease. Not to mention a maniacal musician who’s guitar spews fire.

I know you’re tired. And really Mad Max: Fury Road is—as Steven rightly puts it—”mad awesome.” Perhaps so much so that it’s truly unfair of us to ask for anything more. And yet…

You clearly know how to make ’80s icons something new and uniquely mind-blowing. And you’ve done musicals before! Happy Feet and Happy Feet 2 were delightful, unexpected and spectacular. But imagining what you could do for Jem, doesn’t only help the heartache of seeing that damn trailer. It also makes me swoon over what could be.

Just promise me you’ll think about it.

Sincerely,
~Kristy Puchko

Kristy Puchko is a very serious film critic.