Pajiba

Funny, because I don't turn 30 until 2012, and in August.

Yes, everyone remember to visit http://www.wecanknow.com/ on May 22nd, 2011 to see their explanation.

Who'd a thunk Jesus was a Star Wars fan? Coming back on the anniversary of its release and all. FOX should do a tie in.

And as they say in that sacred text; "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Favorite all-time bumper sticker:

Jesus is coming. Look busy.

May 21st? Damn. Sorry Jesus. I got...a thing...that day.

The website says that Jesus is going to save the faithful on that date and then he's going to destroy the world exactly 5 months later.

Five month long series finale party, people! Whoooooo! I'll start scoping kegs to loot.

Jesus! Save me from your followers!

(Then like, we can totally party.)

Aside from the fact that it says in the bible that no one can know when the end of the world will be, I think it's totally déclassé that God's using billboards for his Save the Date. Couldn't he have sprung for some hand-addressed card stock invites or something? Maybe an infomercial?

Quick, it's 3am and your suffering from channel surfing induced insomnia and you see Jesus on the screen talking about the end of the world and shilling what?

My guess would be toaster ovens. Nothing cooks like Christ! Mmmm delicious sacrilege. See! We Christians can have a sense of humor? If it wasn't for the laughter how would we get through the awkward ice cream socials? Well, besides the booze.

Guess I don't need to buy my mom a birthday present next year. Her birthday is 5/22.

Posted by: mswas at December 2, 2010 10:01 AM
---
You save money on me too: 5/23. That will be the time to say, "Damn, and THIS is the year I was gonna buy you that yacht ..."

Also, while you're here, Jesus, just for shits and giggles, you should take in a sermon at the Westboro Baptist Church. I'm sure you'll be impressed with its followers' commitment to your principles.

I've lived through so many "end of the world" dates that I feel pretty invincible now.

I'd like to interview all the believers on May 22nd, 2011, just for fun; and then ask them what they're doing on Dec. 21st, 2012.

Dude, Bruce Lee was a Buddhist. He's in hell.

Haha, awesome. The son of God returns on my birthday. Can't think of a better b-day gift than salvation!

Dammit! I already have my 30th birthday breakdown planned. I'll certainly miss that given it's in August.

Dude, Bruce Lee was a Buddhist. He's in hell.

Called him home, struck him down as a false idol...

You say Toe-MAY-toe...

So, I've looked all over that site, and even though they keep saying "We CAN know" they never actually say how they know the end of the world is going to be precisely on May, 21, 2011. How am I supposed to belittle their reasoning and logic if they don't supply either? Jerks.

So... he's coming on a Saturday? Forgive me for mentioning this, but since he was a pretty darned orthodox Jew, I kind of doubt he'd be doing that sort of thing on the sabbath. I know it's bad form to bring this up, but Jesus can't be Christian. God may frown on the sort of hubris that has a guy worshiping himself, even if he is your amazingly talented kid.

And while we're at it, according to the Jewish calendar, the date this guy thinks is 21/5/2011 would actually be 17 lyyar 5771, in which case the party took place before Jesus was even born. Oops.

I'd much rather be hit by a bus, or eaten alive by a school of pirahna.

I'd like to laugh myself to death. It should be easy because God created us in his image, so he'll probably come back as a naked fatty. You know, to soften the blow of Judgement Day and shit.

You better believe the money for that is coming out of your allowance.

My allowance? You mean the powers you gave me? Oh no, please don't take away my ability to turn one fish into many fish. Anything but that.

Cheap ass.

Oh shut up, you little whiny prick.

"Daaad, I don't like my powers."
"Daaad, I don't want this responsibility."
"Daaad, These thorns are messing up my hair."

I don't hear you bitching when you make your kitchen tap an endless wine supply. Ungrateful little..."

im gonna smock a crack rock, fuck a hooker, kill someone, and lie to everyone about everything

That's 9 days before my birthday. Oh look, I remembered. Unlike last year.

Grizzle - I'm guessing the flunkies..er, apostles sort of over-exaggerated in that regard, to make Jesus look even cooler. Also, I don't recall them mentioning him working on the sabbath, and you can't tell me that Judgment Day won't require a bit of heavy lifting. Then again, if he shows up on Sunday, he'll be deaf from all those football guys shouting his name in thanks for touchdowns, so maybe Saturday would work. You know what would be even better? If he showed up on a Friday during rush hour. The whole Judgment thing could take place over the weekend and those of us not raptured could still get to work on Monday morning (because what is hell but life in a cubicle?).

JC.
May the 21st isn't looking good for me.
Can we try for the 28th instead?
Ta.

Damn. Let me schedule that vacation for April.

Fuck them world the world can't end 2 days before I turn 21!