Fa La La La La, La La La F*ck
Pretty bad, right? There are worst slogans ("Season of Reason"? I'm so sure, Acura), but this Vampire Weekend ditty has invaded my dreams (that's where the visions of sugarplums are supposed to be dancing, damnit). Look, ads don't have to be this bad. Last year, the British company Marks & Spencer assembled so many of the things I love: A dapper Stephen Fry! The ladies from "Ab Fab"! Wallace and Gromit! Philip "The Gene Genie" Glenister! A half-naked trollop!
Doesn't it make you crave mince pies? (Mince pies are, in fact, filthsome and disgusting and not worth your cravings.) And this, this crap is the American answer to that ad except they've replaced everything awesome with everything horrid and oh my god are you trying to make me dislike shoes and sweaters, Macy's? Are you???!!
Were holiday commercials ever thus? I can't answer that question because the only holiday ad I can remember from my youth is this one. . .and I love it. It leaves me dazed and grinning like someone decked me right in the halls.