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Eloquent Eloquents, Assemble: A Call to Arms

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (35)



justified-burn-notice.jpg

I rarely call on the power that is Pajiba. But hear me now, oh most Eloquent ones, for your help is needed.

So Hulu is currently having its second annual Best In Show, a competition that pits 32 of the top current shows against each other in a 5-week March Madness-style bracketed competition. The reigning Lord of TV Criticism, Alan Sepinwall, is in charge of running the competition this year and gets a 5% say in each matchup. His first blog explains that Hulu had the final say, with his input, on the shows that made it into the Big Show, with “Terriers” missing the cut since it’s already cancelled, and “The Chicago Code” and “Lights Out” being too new.

Anyway, as I went through and voted, and began putting this post together (it’s currently late Wednesday afternoon — that’s right IT overlords, go tell the partners that I’m fucking around on TV nonsense instead of doing law talking guy work), I expected that the status of more than a few of these races would have me ready to punch someone in the throat. But it’s not all bad news, and I was particularly pleasantly surprised to see “Chuck” currently up by more than 20% over “The Big Bang Theory.” There are a couple of blowouts, with the biggest one looking to be “Modern Family” over “Cougar Town” (they’re currently separated by over 60%). That’s a shame, as I think “Cougar Town” is the more consistent show at this point, but it’s not a surprise. Nor is it a surprise that “The Office” has almost ten points on “Parks & Recreation,” although I hope good sense will prevail — I realize the ratings for “Parks & Recs” suck and it’s almost certainly seeing its final season, but it’s vastly superior to the current iteration of “The Office.”

That said, there are three matchups which do have me angry. “Justified” is currently losing to “Burn Notice” by double-digits and unless this is an attempt by the voters to anger the Olyphant so he grits his teeth some more, that just don’t make no sense. Nor does it make sense that “Dexter” is trumping “The Walking Dead” by twenty points. “Dexter” hasn’t been truly a good show since about halfway through Season Two, whereas “The Walking Dead,” while far from perfect, is a vastly more gripping show. (Note to self: zombie serial killer show, write it!)

And this last one, man oh man, it’s not a surprise, but it makes me hate puppies, America and apple pie. And this is where I need your help, Eloquents, because fucking end of days “Glee” is beating the hell out “Friday Night Lights.” And this will not stand.

So I’m asking, begging, imploring that you go to the Best In Show and vote, vehemently and repeatedly. I have no doubt that Sepinwall’s 5% vote here will go to “Friday Night Lights,” but that won’t be enough at this point. But by Godtopus, I have faith that y’all can make this happen.









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Comments

I performed my Pajiba civic duty.

Man it was a tough pick between Fringe and Supernatural.

Posted by: logan at March 3, 2011 11:40 AM

Glee versus Friday Night Lights?? How is that a match-up?

Posted by: Leslie K at March 3, 2011 11:43 AM

I would love to help you out but Hulu is a nationist prick!

Posted by: admin at March 3, 2011 11:45 AM

Leslie,

They're both high school shows? Except one is almost real and the other is a band geek fantasy.

Posted by: logan at March 3, 2011 11:47 AM

Given some of the things that have been banned from the site, I'm not sure how to respond to the left side of that header image but...yeah.

Posted by: elisamaza at March 3, 2011 11:47 AM

That said, there are three matchups which do have me angry. “Justified” is currently losing to “Burn Notice” by double-digits

I would take Burn Notice over justified any day. Yeah Burn Notice is not super thoughtful show or whatever but it's tons more fun.

Nor does it make sense that “Dexter” is trumping “The Walking Dead” by twenty points. “Dexter” hasn’t been truly a good show since about halfway through Season Two, whereas “The Walking Dead,” while far from perfect, is a vastly more gripping show

Oh please. The only things special about The Walking Dead is that

1. It doesn't suck as much as the vast majority of zombie products
2. The first real mainstream zombie show with excellent marketing which build an incredible hype over it
3. It was only six episodes. This didn't give it the chance to go from a mediocre show with some brilliant moments to a sucky show with some mediocre moments

No matter how much people may be blinded by the hype(and in some people it's almost a Dark Knight level which must be the king of overhyping) it's go nothing on Dexter

Posted by: Yesplease at March 3, 2011 11:50 AM

Logan, my point exactly. I think a Parenthood/FNL match-up makes more sense, but then again, that would be like Sophie's Choice for me.

Posted by: Leslie K at March 3, 2011 11:51 AM

Well, it's been a while but I'm sure I can handle another nemesis. I accept your challenge Yesplease and look forward to your muching of fucks in the near future.

I do fail to see how "The Walking Dead" is mainstream. Is it because it's on tv?

Posted by: admin at March 3, 2011 11:54 AM

Having to choose between Archer and It's Always Sunny was by far the hardest choice. I get why they're putting similar shows against each other at the top, so we don't end up with the same style of shows at the bottom, but that was exceptionally hard. I went with the former solely because it's better right now than the latter. Same with Louie vs. How I Met Your Mother (which, to be fair, would only really be able to compete if it were still season 2).

Oh, and I even voted for The Walking Dead. Mainly because I just don't like Michael C. Hall, but even with it's seeming infinite problems, Dead is still on my mind all these months later. I'm not sure "gripping" is the right word, but it's definitely one of the most "affecting" shows from last year.

Posted by: RobP at March 3, 2011 11:54 AM

I realize the ratings for “Parks & Recs” suck and it’s almost certainly seeing its final season

SHUT UP SETH!!!

Posted by: Julie at March 3, 2011 11:58 AM

Done and done.

Posted by: Fredo at March 3, 2011 12:03 PM

Okay, The Office sucks. i just had to say it. ever since "that's what she said" became a common saying. the other day i was trying to eat a funstick and talk, and i announced, "It is really hard to talk with a funstick in your mouth" (funstick being the stick in a fun dip) instantly somebody yells "that's what she said" har har har. please bitch. die. die d.e diedieideieidd.

Posted by: smithster at March 3, 2011 12:05 PM

Done! There are some hard choices there, but I'd love to see FNL, Parks & Rec, and Archer all make it to the next round.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at March 3, 2011 12:19 PM

I suppose if Hulu actually showed "Justified" it might have a better chance in this horse race.

Posted by: Rob at March 3, 2011 12:29 PM

glee beating friday night lights would be the end of days, i think

Posted by: the chaplain at March 3, 2011 12:33 PM

I'm sorry, I could not read more of this article after you said P&R is most likely going to get the axe after the season.

Posted by: Athena at March 3, 2011 1:08 PM

Done.

Posted by: Ruby at March 3, 2011 1:10 PM

It will be interesting how closely these pre-Sepinwall results track with demo ratings of the shows pitted against one another. My guess is that the results will track pretty closely with the demos that include 18-30 year-olds.

For this reason I don't think FNL has a chance against Glee, no matter what Pajibans do.

Posted by: ed newman at March 3, 2011 1:53 PM

FuckSpawnStabbitystabCharlieSheensBallsPuppyHangingMurderDeathThrillKillHeadsOverEasyWithASideOfFleshLiveHandGrenadeInTheOrphanageDryHumpedByTRexCruiseMissileToTheCrotchSkinningUnicornsWithACheeseGraterMalcomTuckerOnADiatribeBettyWhiteInABlenderBarbaraStreisand!

That is the best use of known lexicon I can use to describe my disappointment at how Sheriff Seth is losing to Burn Notice, a show which completely checked out seasons ago.

I need a drink. Whiskey.

Posted by: D-Day at March 3, 2011 2:12 PM

Done and done. Don't say I never gave you anything. (Actually, I did it for the Olyphant. No one messes with my Olyphant.)

Archer vs. Always Sunny was a tough one.

Also, I'm surprised you didn't mention Louie vs. HIMYM, except that sadly, no amount of intervention from Pajibans is going to help Louie, because approximately no one's watching it.

Posted by: MM at March 3, 2011 2:20 PM

Democracy doesn't work.

Posted by: Will at March 3, 2011 2:29 PM

Checkedy-doo!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 3, 2011 2:34 PM

Okay, The Office sucks. i just had to say it. ever since "that's what she said" became a common saying.

"That's what she said" is the new "I'm Rick James, bitch" and the calamity of both is that people, repeatedly, think they are funny enough to keep them alive even though they are both so overdone that they would fail even McDonalds' patty QC.

Seriously though, I stopped watching "The Office" early in Season 4, which I know is a whole hell of a lot earlier than most since I apparently missed out on some really quality stuff afterwards, but for some reason it lost its charm for me once Jim and Pam became an actual "thing."

Posted by: Amanda6 at March 3, 2011 2:50 PM

Do I get a sticker for this? Because I'm not voting unless I get a sticker. With a Pajiba flag on it. That says "I Voted." Really, the cost of being a citizen of Pajibaland is way too high. I choose rational nonparticipation. Apathy '12!

For real, though, I've definitely already voted in this. I tend to take civic duty, in all its forms (yes, it does too include protesting) way too seriously. *glares fiercely at all you wusses who were like 'midterm elections? Bitch, please.'*

Posted by: esme at March 3, 2011 2:54 PM

Voted for Fringe, Glee and Burn Notice. I am immune to the power of the Olyphant!

Posted by: Adam C at March 3, 2011 5:29 PM

Damn it, esme, when will you just marry me, already?

Posted by: RobP at March 3, 2011 5:40 PM

If Parks and Rec is cancelled I will shit a brick.

Posted by: camytaru at March 3, 2011 5:56 PM

I don't think there is a Pajiba flag, esme. Besides, what single image flying on a cloth above the Murdertank could possibly unite such a group?

Posted by: Jim Doggie at March 3, 2011 6:24 PM

friday night lights better win. much as i may like glee at times there is simply no comparison AT ALL.

Posted by: splinter at March 3, 2011 6:25 PM

"I don't think there is a Pajiba flag, esme. Besides, what single image flying on a cloth above the Murdertank could possibly unite such a group?"

Ryan Reynolds banging Dustin. Everyone gets something out of it.

Think about it.

Posted by: D-Day at March 3, 2011 6:58 PM

*thinks about it*
Yeah...last night I was given a picture of Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb which showed them covered in syrup and 69'ing on a giant pancake. I started crying from the pain.
If you can get something out of that, then you, sir, are welcome to that flag. I must respectfully decline.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at March 3, 2011 7:32 PM

“Dexter” hasn’t been truly a good show since about halfway through Season Two, whereas “The Walking Dead,” while far from perfect, is a vastly more gripping show.

I'm sorry I can't agree with this. I'm a big fan of both, but Dexter is still a great show even in its weaker episodes and the Trinity arc was stellar. So just no to that whole statement.

Posted by: Even Stevens at March 3, 2011 10:22 PM

“Dexter” hasn’t been truly a good show since about halfway through Season Two

THANK YOU! I'm so happy to finally find someone who feels the same way. I felt obligated to vote after reading it.

Posted by: Uda at March 4, 2011 7:25 AM

Voted! Did duty. Now a drink with an unbrella.

Posted by: Magiel at March 4, 2011 10:56 AM

Sorry Freilich, under any other circumstance I would love to help you rig a contest. But your request smells of desperation, and I can only hope that you did not take your mortgage payment and gamble it away again.

Posted by: Pookie at March 4, 2011 1:10 PM