Dream Casting Disney's Upcoming Live-Action 'Dumbo':

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Dream Casting Disney's Upcoming Live-Action 'Dumbo'

By Jodi Clager | Miscellaneous | July 9, 2014 | Comments ()

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Man, oh man. I just know you are all SUPER excited to hear that Disney’s heartbreaking animated classic Dumbo is being remade as live action and CGI film! Even better is the fact that Ehren Kruger, he of the superbly terrible Transformers movie series, will be writing! Oh, man! Kruger is just the wordsmith to breathe new life into the beloved children’s movie. He’ll probably handle the crows that Dumbo encounters without any racism, just like in the original!


As for the dream casting, my fondest wish is that they DON’T FUCKING MAKE THIS MOVIE. Just step away from the remakes, Disney. You already have more money than Jesus, those idiots on HGTV that just HAVE to have granite countertops in their first home, and Tom Cruise. Leave your classics alone. You don’t need to CGI it up and add some bullshit family angle to a movie that stars a baby elephant with huge ears and a freaking mouse. BACK AWAY FROM THE VAULT, DISNEY.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • elirt

    They're going to remake a film that strongly stands AGAINST captive elephants by what... using trained elephants?!!??!

  • Dove of Doom

    I'm guessing CGI would be used for the elephants, especially since the story would require them to be anthropomorphized. The two most recent Planet of the Apes films have hundreds of photo-realistic animals, and not one of them flesh and blood.

  • elirt

    Although, still not a great idea - I'd me a lot happier knowing no real animals were used. Goes against the whole message of the film!

  • E.a. Solinas

    Disney doesn't care about moral stances. As long as they get money, it's all good.

  • elirt
  • E.a. Solinas

    Poor sweetie. I'm glad he'll be able to live the rest of his life in peace, with only humans who are kind to him.

  • Ozioma

    How's about making an actually good movie instead of leaving it up to Pixar and Square-Enix to breathe life into your brand name, Disney?

  • E.a. Solinas

    I guess they've run out of fairy tales to animate, and are just going to cannibalize and vomit back up their old stuff. Why bother making good movies?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I don't care about remakes, they are a tale as old as time, I care that elephants will be used in the filming.

  • BWeaves

    How are they going to handle the sequence where Dumbo gets drunk / high and hallucinates?

  • Ozioma

    Or 'Baby of Mine'. That sequence is perfect and heartbreaking and if they change it, I will fling a gallon of actual elephant urine all over their cars.

  • Emm82

    I'll help carry the bucket if they do.

  • SottoVoce

    Amen! Remaking a cartoon as a live-action was a dumb fad in 90s that should stay gone.

  • JoeK

    They should reunite the cast of this forgotten Disney classic.

  • googergieger

    I really disliked the unchanged name porno version of that movie. It was as disgusting as you'd imagine it would be.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Wh ...?

    Oh, gods, no!

  • Dove of Doom

    After Maleficent, I wonder if Disney will once again shoehorn in a metaphorical rape as a revisionist subtext for their once charming children's story. A scene where Dumbo's ears are cut off so he can't fly anymore would be so dark and meaningful. Walt Disney must be rolling over in his cryo-chamber right now.

  • E.a. Solinas

    Nah, he was an unoriginal whore too. He'd be kicking himself for not coming up with the idea of regurgitating "remakes" of all his movies before.

  • Dove of Doom

    I suppose in the vernacular of that business, Disney was more a pimp than a whore. He took stories others created and sold them, often in the cheapest way imaginable, reaping the profit for himself, and it kind of sickens me how much credit he and his company get for their bowdlerized and dumbed down versions of true classics. Whatever you think of his creative vision, though, it's hard to argue that he wasn't commited to it. I can't imagine he would have allowed one of his family friendly animated films to be twisted into a live action grotesquerie.

  • John W

    I can't believe Disney is screwing with their classic animated films the way they've been doing.

  • Guest


  • Helpful warning: this is a honey pot post to draw out the flies. Every comment suggesting an actor for the live action role of Dumbo or an actress for his mom will be permabanned.

  • BlackRabbit

    I really can't tell if you're joking.

  • Even Stevens

    I hope so or I'm in big trouble

  • BlackRabbit

    Oh what the hell. As Dumbo I'd have cast *BANNED*

  • Even Stevens

    Does that apply even if we suggest someone totally appropriate? Such as Shia LaBeef. He's been preparing his whole life for this role.

  • Dulce et Banana
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