Clooney Does Reddit AMA: Internet Explodes With Brad Pitt Pranks, Whipping Leo's Ass And Getting Revenge On Amy And Tina
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Clooney Does Reddit AMA: Internet Explodes With Brad Pitt Pranks, Whipping Leo's Ass And Getting Revenge On Amy And Tina

By Joanna Robinson | Miscellaneous | January 28, 2014 | Comments ()

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You know when Leonardo DiCaprio walked out on the Saturday Night Live stage and you went “GASP! A MOVIE STAR!!” That’s how I felt just now when I opened up Reddit, the world’s great equalizer, and saw that George Clooney was doing an Ask Me Anything from the set of Tomorrowland. Clooney refers to himself as some guy who was on The Golden Girls, admits that he’s currently wearing a harness and answers questions of all nature with his usual crinkly-eyed, silver foxy aplomb. You can read the whole thing, but here are the highlights.

On Brad Pitt’s Best Prank

It was Brad, we were shooting Oceans 12 in my hometown in Lake Cuomo and he had a flyer sent around saying George only wants to be called by his character’s name Danny Ocean, don’t look him in the eyes, and it got into the local paper. As you know, jokes don’t translate at all, and they called me il divo, and said that I was treating the crew like shit. When it got into the paper I came downstairs and Brad had the paper in his hand, and I said “You’re mine from here on out.” Brad just said, “Please don’t harm my children.” Yeah, he’s done some pretty rotten things.

On Being A Cheap Date

I think I might be the cheapest date ever, $10. I’m literally the cheapest date anyone has ever been on. Check out It’s gonna be fun though, we are gonna get out of the car together, walk the Monuments Men red carpet, the paparazzi will take a bunch of pictures, we’ll go backstage at Letterman. You’ll get to see the other side of it all, which is unusual and fun.

About The Internet’s Long Memory

The funny thing about my career is that, I’m the first one to be very well aware of how lucky I am to be where I am. I appreciate it all. But I would have made a living, fed myself, housed myself. And everyone goes through awkward phases a lot of the time and sometimes it’s very public which is always bad. Somebody was talking to me on set and said remember Merv Grifin? I was on in 1985 which is pretty odd, and they youtubed it and I come out in this horrible yellow shirt and yellow socks and a mullet. And the whole set is howling. This stuff lives on forever. So everyone has awkward phases, just hope they’re not recorded for everyone to see for the rest of time.

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On KY Pride

Well, I hope you mean KY the state, and not KY jelly. Because, you know, I don’t know how proud you should be about that.
But we do have a very good basketball team this year, we’re about 14th in the nation and I think the University of Kentucky will do very well in this year’s March Madness.

On What He’s Reading

I’ve been spending the last year trying to get through the Cat in the Hat series. But, I’m still not there - I’m a slow reader. You know I do read but I don’t read as much as I’d like to. And why read when there’s such good television? I have been going back to some classics lately. You know, for a period of time in your career you tend to read books just to see if you want to adapt them or make them into a film then all of a sudden you realize you’re just reading that. I’m reading some classics I haven’t read in 30 years, I’ve got an original copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, a signed original copy, and I pulled that out 2 months ago. You tend to forget how great the great writers are.

On The Perfect Sandwich

Oh the perfect sandwich. Well, good question. The perfect sandwich would be… I want to come up with two gorgeous actresses but I won’t do that. Name your two. I don’t know you know I’d have to think about it. I do like ham and avocado and a little tomato and a little mustard. Just a simple deli sandwich is great. You know, put some coleslaw in there.


In That Time He Pranked His Roommate Richard Kind By Sh*tting In The Litter Box

It took him a long time to figure it out. At first he figured out that I’d done it and then he found I spent the whole week planning it out. And if you know Richard Kind’s work from Spin City or other things he’s a big, loud guy. Once he fully realized what was going on, he just yelled, “I understand humor, defecation doesn’t make me laugh.” Which I suppose should go on someone’s tombstone.

About Getting Richard Kind In Trouble With TSA…Cloons Is Kind Of A Terrible Roommate, No?

I remember I got this insane looking prop from this movie Solaris. It was the size of a lunchbox and it had all these intricate lights and tubes and I snuck it into Richard Kind’s carry-on bag. They ran it through the machine and pulled it off and asked, “What is this? Did you pack your own bag?” He had no idea what to say. Of course this was pre-911. If you did that now it would be a very horrible thing, but it was very funny at the time. Anyway, don’t do that at home.

On Whipping Leo’s Ass At Basketball

It’s true. That was a fun day. It’s always fun when you play people younger than you and win. We’re playing a bunch of six year olds tomorrow.

On Getting Even With Amy And Tina

Usually it’s pretty funny. You know I got really good by Tina and Amy the other day and I’m working on getting them back in a big way. But for the most part most of the time when it’s bad it’s actually funny. You actually feel bad for the comedians up on stage cause you know if you’ve ever gone to a comedy club and you see somebody bomb it makes you cringe. Shows like that are designed to have fun with you without being devastatingly unkind. I’ve been the target of a couple of stupid jokes that didn’t work, but in general I’ve only seen a couple that were really vicious toward people, and they didn’t work. When they don’t work you feel badly for the person doing it.

On The Best Actor To Work With…It’s Exactly Who You Think

Let me think about this in the best possible way that doesn’t get me murdered by all other actors I’ve worked with. I don’t know…
I’ve done 6 films with Damon now, so I guess I do enjoy working with him, though you wouldn’t know it. I’ve been really lucky to work with people who enjoy what they do. I’ve worked with a couple of turkeys, but I’ve mostly been really lucky.

On Working With That Fall-Down Drunk, Sandra Bullock

It’s tricky cause Sandy drinks so much that oftentimes it’s just hard to keep her upright. No, you know, Sandy and I have known each other for over 20 years and we both were struggling actors when we first met. She was dating a friend of mine at the time who’s still a good friend of ours. Every time we’re together it’s funny. She’s somebody I adore, really, she’s just fun to be in a room with. I’m sure people will assume people aren’t quite who they appear to be on screen—they’re shorter or taller or meaner or dumber—but Sandy is exactly what she appears on screen, an incredibly charming woman who’s really just fun to hang out with. Very smart and centered, even though she does drink a lot.


On What He’s Wearing…

I literally have a harness on and I’ve been hanging from 30 ft from 4 different blue screens and literally as we are talking they are all staring at me because I had to get down to do this. I have all these wire hanging off of me.
Brad [Bird, the director of Tomorrowland] is a really good guy with a wild imagination. If I don’t screw it up it will be a great film. You have to be careful what you say because everything is top secret, so I don’t want to ruin it by telling you that everyone dies in the end.

“Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?”

Can’t I do both? No, I want the duck-sized horses, I could take them. The saddles on them are so cute.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • MegP

    "I understand humor, defecation doesn’t make me laugh." I must find a situation to use that in. Shouldn't be too hard ...

  • Mrs. Julien

    The most important thing I got out of that interview was that the State of the Union is on tonight. During the Bush administration, Mr. Julien shouted his disapproval at the TV, now he shouts his agreement instead. All in all, still with the shouting, so not a big change there.

  • brite59

    ^ best in thread goes to the inimatable Mrs. Julien.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [tipping cap]

  • RocksEaglesHats

    Lake Como? Clooney misspells the name of his own "home town"?

  • hoppergrass

    Very, very few celebrities on Reddit do their own typing. If you read a few more of his answers, it becomes pretty obvious he's dictating - there are a lot of conversational markers (like "you know") that pepper our speech but are typically avoided when writing.

  • Maria Cocco

    Yup, he states elsewhere in the AMA that someone else is typing for him.

  • RocksEaglesHats

    That actually makes sense.

  • NaturalFro79

    Let's give him the benefit of doubt. You must remember that he is harnessed. Proper blood flow is probably not occurring.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    ...thank you...

  • Dat header pic. I don't know if I want be Clooney looking at Pohler or Pohler looking at Clooney.

  • NaturalFro79

    Pohler for sure! The lady looks hot and is working it!

  • Any time I see Amy Pohler lately, I feel really, really bad for Will Arnett. I don't know why those two broke up, but something tells me Pohler is on the winning end of the equation.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Who in the hell chooses the one horse-sized duck? The sheer mass alone would be enough if he trips over his stupid duck feet and lands on you. Duck-sized horses? Are you kidding me? You have legs, stupid human: start kicking!

  • Sassy Pikachu

    Ever since zfrank's "true facts about ducks" (no links since I'm at work) I have now developed a true fear about ducks. So I will never pick the horse-sized duck, not after that whole crazy stuff in the video.

    nope nope nope.

  • foolsage

    No, no, no. The horse-sized duck would be all but helpless. The square-cube law tells us that as the size of the duck increases, the volume increases even faster. Those hollow bird bones? Yeah, they're not going to support that extra weight.

    The horses, on the other hand, are herd animals. They'd work together.

    The good news is that neither horses nor ducks tend to be very aggressive towards humans. In this hypothetical example you're attacking a helpless, crippled fowl, or you're murdering a horde of little ponies. In either case, you're the aggressor.

    You heartless bastard.

  • BendinIntheWind

    But what if the duck is wearing a hoodie? I have a right to protect myself!

  • Pull the hood over it's eyes to obstruct it's vision and then hit it with a two by four until it stops moving.

  • foolsage

    Clearly, if the duck is wearing a hoodie, it's trying to hide something; the hood's purpose is concealment after all. So what does it have to hide? Huh? WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO HIDE?

    Definitely shoot first.

  • Uriah_Creep

    This entire thread (20 or so comments) has made me ridiculously happy.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Also, if that duck gets ahold of you? I know a beak isn't a big deal normally, but at horse size? I'm unwilling to risk it. I'll just Riverdance the shit out of the duck-sized horses.

    Sorry, horses.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I think you're overlooking how cute duck-sized horses woudl be. Might be hard to bring yourself to kick them. Would you kick l'il Sebastian? Now imagine 100 baby l'il Sebastians.

    Besides, vanquishing the duck would be a far tastier proposition.

  • Mrs. Julien

    This weekend, I am going to create an erotic act that I will dub "vanquishing the duck".

  • I believe we'll all be needing video of the event. In fact, can we get TK to liveblog it?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I was planning on using it for something far less erotic, but I do have some rendered duck fat in the fridge at the moment if you want to borrow it...

    strike that. HAVE it. I probably would not want the fat returned after you used it.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Please tell me it involves a hot tub.

  • And some loud quacking at the moment of climax.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I always do. It's my stays they constrict and loosen in unpredictable ways.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [jotting down suggestions]

  • BendinIntheWind

    They're not MINI-horses, so kick away!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Even tiny they've got some vicious looking hooves...(actual mini horses I saw in England, btw. Damn it was windy that day.)

  • colpetty

    if only my hair looked that good on a windy damn

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Think even tinier than this. Are you sure you could bring yourself to do it?

  • BendinIntheWind

    I mean, not just for funsies, but if it's a legit *fight*, I'll just imagine them instead as the compsognathuses (compsognathi?) from The Lost World.

    Besides, nothing could supplant my love for fluffy cows:

    Suck it, tiny horses!

  • Aaron Schulz

    Holy hell fluffy cows are amazing, i want to ride one around as my only means of transport now

  • DominaNefret


  • stella

    Omg i want one

  • Doreen Steven

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    ✚✚✚ ✚𐠔✚✚ ✚✚𐠚✚✚ ✚✚✚ ✚✚✚The horses, on the other hand, are herd animals. They'd work together.

  • emmalita

    When I get my farm for Pygmy goats, I need a fluffy cow AND tiny horses. I'll have the twee-est farm around. I will set swans and geese as guards.

  • foolsage

    Geese are considerably more aggressive and noisy than one would expect. I grew up in the country and some neighbors had geese. They'd actually be decent guards in some senses; they'd make a LOT of noise if anything disturbed them, for instance.

  • emmalita

    A friend of the family used geese to protect her property. They were mean and scary, and very loud.

  • foolsage

    They'd surely be effective, but not necessarily twee. But then you could always dress them up with little hats and coats, and BAM! Tweeness re-established. :)

  • emmalita

    I shall now spend a good chunk of my day looking for more pictures of geese in costumes.

  • foolsage

    Now THAT is twee. Fine work.

  • Uriah_Creep

    And I'm going to visit as soon as you get your farm, because it'll be magical. Please open it soon, and in your home state, so that I can get away from the fucking cold; it's either that or hibernate until April.

    The "polar vortex" can kiss my pasty, frozen white ass.

  • emmalita

    Come on down my friend. It's going to be in the 70s this weekend (about 23 for you metric Socialists). We may not have polar vortexes, but summertime here is like camping outside Hell's back door.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Sadly, I have to work, or I'd be down there in a trice. Stupid work!

  • emmalita

    *shakes fist at work*

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    My husband is certain that we can breed miniature giraffes.

  • emmalita

    I just want a house tall enough for a regular sized giraffe.

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    Or a Girabbit?

  • emmalita

    That is amazing!!! Now I want a girabbit.

  • My girlfriend is waiting for them to come up with tiny elephants.

  • foolsage

    Pot-bellied elephants!

  • BendinIntheWind

    Dog-sized elephants are #1 with a bullet on my "unrealistic animals I must have as pets" list. Close second: red panda. More realistic, because they actually exist, but less so because they're endangered, and China would probably not be cool with it.


  • foolsage

    They're adorable. They also make surprisingly good kung-fu teachers.


  • BendinIntheWind

    My love for this movie knows no bounds. I made my fiancee pull off the freeway in the middle of a 5 hour drive because I saw an ad for McDonald's happy meals featuring Kung Fu Panda toys. Now I have a Monkey figuring on my desk that does a sideways flip when you wind him up.

  • foolsage

    Totally. Worth. It.

  • Tinkerville
  • foolsage

    That is one of the cutest GIFs I have ever seen.

  • BendinIntheWind

    DYING right now. Like even another red panda can't fucking believe how adorable they are! Must tackle and tickle! We are adorable!


  • foolsage
  • emmalita

    Two things: I can't find it now, but somewhere there is a video of a woman who does an adorable nightly routine with a red panda. My bff's son was sorely disappointed when the red panda that escaped from the National Zoo in DC was found. He was hoping it would come live in his room and they would be best friends.

  • emmalita

    That would be amazing, and kind of creepy.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Well obviously the swans and geese will have some kind of blood feud between them, until one little swan falls for a gosling and they bring all the birds together.

    I shall call it "Nest Side Story". And I plan to visit. Often. You'll need someone to scare those goats to see if they faint.

  • Marianne Brandon

    You are brilliant. You win the internets for today!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    or if they scream...

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    "Nest Side Story."

    Mind: blown.

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