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Ishtar State of Mind

By | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (13)



satc2 desert.jpg

I know, Dustin already pained you with the Sex and the City 2 trailer, but it’s Christmas, so we’re gifting it to you again. You know, because that’s what happens during the holidays. You get the same thing twice because you stupidly include the same items on the wishlist you give to your girlfriend as the one you send Santa (for those not keeping up, Dustin is your girlfriend and I’m St. Nick).

I have little to say about the spot, actually. I unfortunately saw a few episodes of the show a long time ago when I had more female friends than male, but honestly I don’t even know the names of the characters except for Carrie (and that is only because of that terrible new tagline). And I never paid much attention otherwise because I couldn’t stand seeing the formerly hot mannequin with green eyes as the plastic creature she’s become.

All I have to add is that I didn’t think anything could do worse for “Empire State of Mind” than Jay-Z’s awkward performance in front of bored old white guys at the Yankees parade. I really hate being reminded that Sex and the City takes place in my town. It’s more embarrassing than Enchanted and The Out-of-Towners combined. Hopefully, the girls have been banished by Bloomberg to the Saturn of Beetlejuice and the film ends (or better, begins) with them being eaten by a sandworm.

Speaking of those desert scenes, they sure have gotten everyone’s attention. I bet that stuff isn’t even in the movie; it’s just a marketing ploy. And here are some other people who fell for it:

  • Monika Bartyzel at Cinematical:
    While we’ve heard rumors of financial hardships and romantic drama, they are nowhere in sight in this first trailer. Instead, there’s a new exotic locale for the girls to lounge in that actually has them riding flippin’ camels through the desert. Oh, I can just imagine the xenophobic jokes that will descend this time around. It seems like a missed opportunity that they didn’t make Charlotte into a bubble girl for this latest burst of travel! (Although she does get a rather bubbly hat in the picture above.)
  • Anne Thompson at Thompson on Hollywood:
    Sex and the City Meets Road to Morocco

    In Sex and the City 2, set for May 28 release, Michael Patrick King takes the girls on the road to Morocco.

  • Lisa Timmons at Socialite Life:
    The only hint at the plot comes when we catch a glimpse of Charlotte with a little girl in tow and the girls take off on their sandy vacation with SJP narrating, “Sometimes you just have to get away with the girls.” Is Samantha going to seduce a camel? Girlfriend does like a challenge.
  • Mark at I Watch Stuff:
    The Sex has left the City, ladies! Now it’s in the desert, I guess.

    With how strained our relationships with Middle Eastern nations are already, I’m just assuming that Carrie & Friends’ presence there means this film takes place in the days just prior to World War III

  • Kyle Buchanan at Movieline:
    Sure, Sex and the City’s more-is-more ethos might have seemed appropriate in a flashy hotspot like Dubai, but sending the main foursome to the a heavily Arabic place (even if it’s a relatively liberal country like Morocco) just seems to be asking for critics to write “this is why they hate us” think pieces. The first person to connect the dots between Carrie’s Manohlos and the 9/11 attacks will win a very, very epic facepalm.
  • Jeffrey Wells at Hollywood Elsewhere:
    When I called the first Sex in the City movie “a Taliban recruitment film,” I was referring to a notion that young Arab men might be so repelled by its celebration of putrid 21st Century chick culture that joining the Taliban might seem freshly appealing. How curious, then, that a portion of the upcoming Sex and City 2 (opening 5.28.10) has triggered Taliban-ish associations by having the girls visit Morocco, an Arab-Muslim nation teeming with keffiyahs and camels and sand dunes.

As promised, here’s your repeat gift:









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Comments

"honestly I don’t even know the names of the characters except for Carrie"

I think the others are: Cunty, Slutty and Dykey

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 23, 2009 8:24 PM

Santa's Slay is hilarious! Especially if you're drinking. I've just had two hours of great fun.

Merry Christmas everybody

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=camndOJGmSM

Posted by: barf at December 23, 2009 9:09 PM

I have to admit, the header pic made me giggle hysterically.

It’s more embarrassing than Enchanted and The Out-of-Towners combined.

Oh. Fuck. Naw. You better just shut your whorish mouth! Talk trash about Enchanted and I will straight up cut you with a glass slipper, motherfucker! IT'S ON!!!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at December 23, 2009 10:36 PM

Ha! GREAT pic.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 23, 2009 11:04 PM

You know what? I admit that I watched some of the Sex and the City TV episodes. Probably less than 10%. They sucked. Unfunny. Unsexy. Stupid. The moronic tramps portrayed in this shit fest were so unrealistic that they all might as well have been named Barbie, or maybe Sarah. Watched the first movie on Cable. It blew chunks. Tell Horse Face to get another gig. Maybe a Wizard of Oz remake. And you know witch role she is suited for and its not fucking Dorothy either.

Posted by: Dave at December 24, 2009 12:18 AM

"formerly hot mannequin with green eyes"

Almost couldn't get past this line, although it should have read "formerly hot mannequin with green eyes who gets off on teenage guys' jockstraps." Kim Cattrall used to be one of my favorite actresses. Shame to see her aging. Oh, and that pic is fantastic.

Posted by: EJ at December 24, 2009 2:50 AM

Fortunately, Chris Noth is now steam-cleaning my labia regularly via The Good Wife, and I no longer must torture and shame myself watching The Four Cunts of the Apocalypse for a fix. Nor must I give myself migraines trying to suspend disbelief at the idea that Big would allow Carrie Bradshaw to blow him in an alley, much less take him for a Barbie Dream Closet.
This show's "social commentary" has always consisted of the most facile, welcome-to-Earth, no-shit-Sherlock kind of "insights" so I never expected much, but it was Samantha's "self-actualization epiphany" in CrapFest the First that did me in. Oh my GOD...love means..means SAYING SOMEONE ELSE'S NAME MORE THAN MY OWN. EWWWWWWW! What's sad is that a bunch of twits probably bought it.

Posted by: Pokey at December 24, 2009 4:41 AM

Shame to see her aging. -EJ

Fuck you.

Posted by: J. K. Barlow at December 24, 2009 5:14 AM

Christ, they're in Morocco!?
My worry after reading this is that it might have the unintended effect of ruining Casablanca by filling the flick with cheeky, retarded references that miss the point.
Good thing I will never see it!
Keep a look out for the line, "We'll always have New York."

Posted by: Gaius at December 24, 2009 7:21 AM

Ms. or Mr. Barlow does have a point.

Posted by: Jay at December 24, 2009 9:15 AM

Sorry Ms. Cattrall...uh...Barlow. (BTW, I loved you in Split Second!)

But seriously, why the backlash at me! Did not this article's author, Mr. Campbell say this: "I couldn’t stand seeing the formerly hot mannequin with green eyes as the plastic creature she’s become." I've been a fan of hers for longer than most of the American public even knew her name. She's still pretty darn good-looking for a woman her age (53), but she's definitely getting older and probably has no business playing in these types of roles anymore. The recent pic of her in the tummy tucking granny pantie bikini is proof of that.

So, to sum up, fuck you back! ;-)

Posted by: EJ at December 24, 2009 1:14 PM

I have to admit, the header pic made me giggle hysterically.

It’s more embarrassing than Enchanted and The Out-of-Towners combined.

Oh. Fuck. Naw. You better just shut your whorish mouth! Talk trash about Enchanted and I will straight up cut you with a glass slipper, motherfucker! IT'S ON!!!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at December 23, 2009 10:36 PM


------


took the words right out of my mouth!

Posted by: Even Stevens at December 25, 2009 2:59 PM

Aw shit, and I JUST wasted my last comment of the week on the previous entry Dustin did on SATC2: The Reckoning...

Damn you guys and your topical double-dipping.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at December 26, 2009 12:45 AM