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Does Taylor Lautner Deserve $7.5 Million?

By Christopher Campbell | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (32)



taylor-lautner-ab-dollars.jpg

Dustin has already covered the news this question is spawned from, about Taylor Lautner co-starring as Tom Cruise’s son in something suspiciously akin to a Top Gun sequel, so let’s get down to the brass tax tacks. Does Taylor Lautner have any right to be crowned the highest paid teenaged actor in Hollywood?

Let’s not forget that just over a year ago the People’s Choice nominee wasn’t even considered good enough to reprise his role in the talent-not-required Twilight franchise. Now he’s getting $7.5 million for Northern Lights. That’s more than a million bucks per ab — though when I took a quick, non-pervy glance, it looked like the dude has more than six in his pack. Is that possible? I’m a flabby movie blogger and know nothing of things like “muscles.” Neither does Nikki Finke apparently; she thinks Lautner has 7.5 abs (see below).

I’m no pedophile (unlike other bloggers), so I’m not even familiar with many teen movie stars out there, let alone who’d be more deserving of the title, but there’s probably someone more worthy. Of course, $7.5 million is only half as much as what Daniel Radcliffe was making per year in his late teens, so I guess it’s no big deal. Besides, Cruise is likely getting even more of an undeserved fee for the film.

Here are some reactions to the paycheck anyway:

  • Nikki Finke at Deadline Hollywood:
    I’ve just learned that Taylor Lautner is now being paid per ab. That’s right, the 17-year-old co-star of the Twilight Saga franchise who’s famous for his buff physique that is making girls scream when he takes off his shirt in New Moon, is getting $7.5 million for his next pic.
  • Bob Westal at Premium Hollywood:
    In another scoop for the Finkster, she reports that underage It-boy Taylor Lautner is Hollywood best compensated teen and now being paid “per ab,” though he apparently has half an ab. I wonder if I get figure out a way to get paid per nose hair.
  • Kyle Buchanan at Movieline:
    Nikki Finke says that Taylor Lautner is Hollywood’s highest-paid teenager on account of his decision to star alongside Tom Cruise in Northern Lights. Daniel Radcliffe is mumbling to himself, “Only because I just turned twenty.”
  • Jessica Barnes at Cinematical:
    According to Finke, Lautner will earn himself a $7.5 million payday for the film, making him the highest paid Hollywood teen actor around — take that Team Edward!
  • Krystal Clark at ScreenCrave:
    If the cartoonish premise of this film doesn’t get under your skin perhaps Lautner’s price tag will. Word on the street is that the teenager will earn 7.5 million dollars for starring in the film. Not bad for someone who was living in Robert Pattinson’s shadow over a year ago.
  • Ethan Anderton at FirstShowing.net:
    It sucks when you hire someone to re-shingle your roof, but he puts holes in it, throws tools around and goes shirtless for your girlfriend. That’s what I think of Taylor Lautner. Studios pay him to act, but instead he aimlessly walks on screen, talks like a robot and of course there’s the shirtless thing. And yet Sharkboy is now the highest paid teen actor as Deadline Hollywood reports he’ll get a whopping $7.5 million to star with Tom Cruise in Northern Lights
  • Katey Rich at Cinema Blend:
    The biggest news about this is Lautner’s gigantic payday, and the sense that he’s already of leading man caliber to star alongside Cruise. Given that Lautner hasn’t carried a single movie without the word Twilight in the title, that’s a pretty significant gamble. Robert Pattinson’s projects beyond Twilight haven’t really gone anywhere, though granted, he hasn’t been groomed as a new star by a studio in the same way. But can the Twilight effect carry on without Bella lurking somewhere in the frame?
  • Russ Fischer at /Film:
    Seems premature to be giving Taylor Lautner multi-million paydays based only on New Moon, doesn’t it? The film did amazingly well, and he became an instant heartthrob, but how much of that was Lautner and how much was just Twilight? Impossible to tell until he’s in a non-Twilight film or two.
  • Mark at I Watch Stuff:
    Deadline Hollywood notes Lautner will make $7.5 million for the part, making him a higher paid teen star than even Disney groomed TeenBeat stars Zac Efron and Hannah Montana. So whoever said you can’t become a huge star solely by having a vacant stare, working out, drinking protein shakes, and playing second fiddle in an awful teenage girl-focused genre franchise, you were sure wrong! I don’t know why you were wrong, but you were apparently wrong.
  • Laura Kelley at Collider:
    This film makes Lautner now the highest paid teenage star with his salary for the role rumored at $7.5 million, though that salary does not include countless tween-girl screams. […] Lautner’s career is definitely growing quickly following his turn in Twilight, with this new film as well as Max Steel, Paramount’s latest announced Lautner star vehicle. Lautner’s career is growing fast, with his recent SNL hosting gig showing off his comedic timing and his crazy martial arts skills, and the Twilight films making massive bank
  • Paul Tassi at JoBlo.com:
    The only good thing I’ve managed to take out of TWILIGHT is that I think Taylor Lautner’s actually a pretty legit dude, and I’m curious to see him in more roles that are not written by trained monkeys.









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Comments

First of all the fact this meathead don't deserve 100k much less 7.5 mil is a given.

Second, does he have 1/2 an ab somewhere in his "core" that the rest of us don't have?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 6, 2010 8:12 PM

I think I'm the only woman on Earth who finds super-sculpted abs to be creepy, not sexy.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 6, 2010 8:12 PM

Lord, does that kid seem like a terrible actor.*

*I haven't actually seen these alleged Twilight movies, or anything else he may have been in (although it sounds like he hasn't really been in anything else). Just seen him talk a couple of times on TV.

Btw, the expression is "brass tacks", not "brass tax". {Diction and Idiom Wench flys off to join up with Grammar Bitch for happy hour}

Posted by: MM at January 6, 2010 8:21 PM

No, you're not the only one, MBD. Perfect abs are nature's way of warning women to stand back, ladies, this one works hard to be too pretty for you.

Posted by: Wednesday at January 6, 2010 8:22 PM

In the words of Lloyd Dobbler as he pours gasoline on himself, "That makes sense."

WHOOSH.

Posted by: TylerDFC at January 6, 2010 8:27 PM

You're not the only one MelBiv, I'm not a fan of the super-sculpted at all. I kind of like my guys to have a little bit-o belly, like they look like they would enjoy a beer and a football game rather than spending all their time at the gym.

Posted by: ashes at January 6, 2010 8:27 PM

ashes,

If we can we sub "baseball" for "football," I'm your guy. I would need a map to find the nearest gym, i swear!

Posted by: , at January 6, 2010 8:31 PM

I watched New Moon, and between my snobbish laughter and this kids abs I have to say I had an okay time.

Seriously, though, I felt like a pedophile. The really sexy kind.

Posted by: Bizarro SofĂ­a at January 6, 2010 8:32 PM

Oh I'll take anything. Baseball, football, hockey, soccer, sumo wrestling, televised lawn darts....anything.

Like all those ,'s I used there , ? It's kind like me saying your name over and over and over again. Kinda hot, huh?

Posted by: ashes at January 6, 2010 8:35 PM

I don't like sculpted abs either. I dated one guy where I found them attractive but they weren't really bulky, he was lean and he had that thing where you can see weird pelvic bone definition too.

Now, where did I put that guy's number?

Every other man stomach that I've ever liked is fairly undefined though.

Posted by: becks at January 6, 2010 8:38 PM

Sculpted abs territory leads you to... "The Situation" from Jersey Shore. His abs are his pride and joy, right?..... Right.

Posted by: MM at January 6, 2010 8:40 PM

Even Robert Pattinson is easier on the eyes by comparison and I understand Mr.P's lack of hygiene is something of a legend. Not that I'd give a man who stinks a break, even one with lots of money (in my dreams).

I can't get past Mr. Lautner's low forehead, beady eyes and prognathous jaw to appreciate what may be perfect abs. Regardless of the photo op pose, the kid always looks a bit dim and in a perpetual sulk. I don't even think I'll ever see him perform accidentally or otherwise.

Of course my talent at predicting cultural phenomenon is exceeded only by my gift for picking winning lotto numbers.

Posted by: NeoCleo at January 6, 2010 8:52 PM

You're not alone, Mel. Super-sculpted abs are weird. I like a little definition, but some dudes take it way too far.

I don't know if he's a bad actor. Yet. Blonde Savant and I are getting together this weekend for a Twilight Drinking Game. We'll let you know exactly how bad he is. In eviscerating detail.

Posted by: stardust at January 6, 2010 8:54 PM

His delivery is so wooden, it attracts termites.

He once thought he had an interesting moment, but it turns out he was just a bit player in someone else's.

He has been known to cause narcolepsy just by walking into a room.

He found out what it is in life he didn't do well- and did it anyway.

His six-pack is filled with Pabst Blue Ribbon.

He is the world's least interesting actor.

Posted by: bleujayone at January 6, 2010 9:04 PM

I can't stand sculpted abs. They make me and my flabby belly feel inferior.

Good thing I've got a big dick.

Blamo.

Posted by: superasente at January 6, 2010 9:08 PM

Pffft, who needs the gym? The TSF workout works wonders. Treadmill? Run in a park. Stairmaster? I live in a tenement. Weights? Fill up a bottle with copper coins. Abs? Use a chair to crunch, dipshit. Protein shakes? Lear how to make a damn omelette.

I'd be the picture of health if it wasn't for the booze and whores.

Posted by: TSF at January 6, 2010 9:10 PM

Nothing wrong with sculpted abs. They make nice runnels for liqueur, and in a pinch, you can wash your clothes on them. But your average guy neither has nor needs them to be dead sexy. That being said, there's very little about the above-pictured child that qualifies as sexy, even if the very thought didn't creep me out.

Posted by: Reba at January 6, 2010 9:53 PM

In other news:

My obsession for ashes has now grown exponentially!

As has my love for all the Jibettes who like the non-sculpted abs and beer bellies.

Just not as much as for her.

What? I'm a one Jibette crush kind of guy.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 6, 2010 9:58 PM

*stares down at her own ponderous midsection. Are there even any abs under there?*

*sighs and drains the rest of her caramel latte in utter defeat*

Posted by: Jelinas at January 6, 2010 10:01 PM

He's not a good actor. He's way too young for me. I don't like sculpted abs, I like the opposite. What would that be? Blown-out abs? Refrigerated biscuit dough abs?

But I do want to lick his neck and that's wrong and I'm sorry, Jesus. The end.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 6, 2010 10:16 PM

The only thing I see when this boy is onscreen is the deep, dark abyss of his nostrils.

Posted by: Commentator at January 6, 2010 11:08 PM

I've been known to nibble my way down a set of abs, but frankly, I can't handle a man who is too much better looking than me these days, so a little cushion for the pushin' is just fine by me.

Suprasente: Luckily for me I have a hell of a rack. Touche.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 6, 2010 11:28 PM

how come there aren't any posts about the female characters in twilight?

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at January 7, 2010 12:00 AM

HAHAHA Utah Dynamo. Good one.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 7, 2010 12:03 AM

I'm with Lindsey on this one! I need to be the pretty one!!!
Abs are cute when you're a boy and have time for that shit but older guys should have more important things on their minds, like giving mind blowing orgasms, not their own abs!

Posted by: trixie at January 7, 2010 1:37 AM

Tax is now tacks. Thanks MM for calling me out on that. It's one of those things I always mess up.

Posted by: Christopher Campbell at January 7, 2010 1:58 AM

Trixie, you sexy bitch. Say "mind blowing orgasms" for me again. Slooowly.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 7, 2010 2:10 AM

I admit, I like the kid. Not much of an actor, but I'm impressed that he worked so hard to keep his part in the movie. I don't know, I guess I just like that he wasn't too cool to put in a little effort. Maybe now he can focus on becoming a decent actor.

Posted by: Turtle at January 7, 2010 2:22 AM

He looks like that mutant toy in Toy Story, the one with the head of a baby and a body of a muscleman. It's against the natural order!

Posted by: Michelle at January 7, 2010 5:38 AM

Regardless of how much he makes per movie it will be more than I make in years of work.

So, in theory, I hate all actors/actresses.

Thanks for making me hate cinema, Pajiba.

Posted by: Colin at January 7, 2010 8:05 AM

But I do want to lick his neck and that's wrong and I'm sorry, Jesus. The end.

You bring the salt, Snuggiepants, and I'll bring the limes. Wait, I better bring the tequila, since the boy is too young to buy liquor.......... nope, don't even feel dirty for it.

Posted by: shamed in the shadows at January 7, 2010 9:51 AM

Woohoo i just found out I'm not the only man who likes twilight Hideo Kajima the man who created metal gear solid and went ballistic at the thought of UWE bol directing a metal gear movie just said he likes Twilight too. i think i just got my sanity back without therapy

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at January 8, 2010 11:09 PM


















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