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Bangable Celebrities and the Sexualization of Rape

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (9)

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    Comments

    man, I don't EVEN give a shit what this column's about, I'm just fucking venting.

    Woke up 2 see some asshole had punctured mine AND my girlfriend's left front tires- seriously!! JUST the left front tires on each of our goddam cars!!!

    And THIS happens after I put $165 down for a vacay in September online, last night, for me & the g/f; after giving the g/f $150 to pay a phone bill; after buying over $50 in groceries, FOR THE G/F;

    NOW two fucking tires and 189.99 MUTHAFUCKIN DOLLARS to replace both our tires, she wants me to "calm down." "Calm the FUCK down!!!"

    I just wanna get my fuckin' ass home before I GO OFF, and I'm thinking, "God, please don't make me go all 'Mad Mel' on this----"JAAAAYYYY7SSUUUSSS KEEERRRIISSTTT !!!!

    So I'm finally home, made it w/ mind slightly steaming but had to write it down & show the whole 'Jibaverse what a true jerk I can be.
    So now I'm thinking, is there a decent catchphrase to exploit the Mel Gibson thing?-

    Dude, don't make me go full 'Mel' on your ass

    You want some 'Mad Mel'?? HERE'S your fuckin' 'MAD MEL'!!

    Oh what, you're gonna pull a fucking 'Gibson' on me now??!

    I'm sure there are better ones and I'm waaayy behind, as usual, last clueless fuck to find out


    dammit I hate myself...

    Posted by: abliac at July 17, 2010 1:27 PM

    • OK, Dustin, this has been brought up before, but I's gots to know: what's with the Twilight photos on all the "You might also like:" suggestions just before the comments? I've tried multiple browsers and platforms and they're always there, so the problem is obviously within the secret Pajiba Compound, where the Godtopus lords over its empire and celebrities are held in a holding pen for "research" on their bodies. Now, like most people, I have a built-in R-Putz and Hairbiter quota, and it is already being threatened. This is a real problem because those two are still several years from being forgotten. Unless your Webmaster is an 11-year old girl or a frustrated housewife, there is no reason for this flagrant foul, so the people ask you: won't you PLEASE think of the children your faithful readers??

    Posted by: Uriah Creep at July 17, 2010 10:24 PM

    Uriah Creep: I know. I hate them, too. I don't get it. It's a third-party widget, one that a lot of the movie websites use. And it seems to work fine on everyone else's website, but for some reason, it uses that same (goddamn) thumbnail for 90 percent of the related story headlines. I keep thinking it will somehow correct itself, but it doesn't appear to want to. If it doesn't soon, I'll have to take down the widget, which is too bad cause -- in theory -- I really like that widget.

    Posted by: Dustin Rowles at July 17, 2010 10:35 PM

    Uriah Creep: I'd been wondering that, too, but then I thought maybe it was just my computer and need to defrag and clean the cache, like the last time I asked about something.

    Posted by: courtney at July 17, 2010 10:53 PM

    Personally, I find it hilarious that Twilight is being constantly recommended for everything. I don't care if it's a broken script or a bitchy widget, that shit makes me chuckle every single time.

    Posted by: Kayanne at July 17, 2010 11:37 PM

    RE: Twilight photo over and over and over and over and over...

    I figured you were just messing with us.

    Or reinforcing the idea that eventually, Twilight will take over our entire culture. It's the Twilight of our society, so to speak.

    Posted by: MM at July 18, 2010 2:31 AM

    Olyphant looks like he just smelled some poop.

    Posted by: figgy at July 18, 2010 12:54 PM

    I keep thinking it will somehow correct itself, but it doesn't appear to want to. If it doesn't soon, I'll have to take down the widget, which is too bad cause -- in theory -- I really like that widget.
    Posted by: Dustin Rowles at July 17, 2010 10:35 PM

    ----------------------------------------------


    Ha! you fail at life again Rowles.

    Seriously dude.

    Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 18, 2010 6:21 PM

    @MM, I thought the same thing. I figured they were just fucking around, but then I realized it had been going on for way too long just to be a joke. Still makes me chuckle when I see it. Fucking douchpires.

    Posted by: VentureSister at July 19, 2010 4:11 AM