Pajiba

Dude, again, seriously.....all of us in flyover country (the Midwest) NEED a Bacon, bad!!! We don't get all the movies out there, it smells like hog shit around here, and lately we are drowning in too much rain and softball size hail! Throw us a damn bone, will ya????

I even have a place to host it!!!

I missed EE too, I'm glad it's coming back. Good luck to Figgy.

Figgy Figgy Figgy. Good luck with that, my dear. :)

Also, I know we retired Eloquent Eloquence a couple of months ago to honor AlabamaPink, but I’ve decided to bring it back.

This makes me happy. Not only is it megatons o' fun, but (for what it's worth) I always thought that Pink would not have approved of the permanent suspension of Eloquence.

Thank you, Dustin, and thanks in advance to figgy.

Crap! The pressure!

Yeek, good on ya, figgy. That's quite a job. Good luck! And don't forget about how much I like you. :D

2 days until Bacon East!

figgy, remember the time we posted all those pictures of hot mens on Facebook. Yeah, good times.

P.S.- Don't except gifts from Genny (if that's her real name). THEY'RE POISONED!

If somebody is throwing canadian bacon anywhere near my house - I'm all over it.....hmm, out of context that doesn't sound so right.

And a Midwest Pajibacon would be so very, very nice for those among us stranded near the 100th Meridian.

Yeah! EE is back. I will think of Alabama Pink every time I read it.

Good luck on the new gig, Figgy. The check is in the mail.

Skitz, I'm kind of disappointed that that isn't a real site.

If there is a CanadianBacon or a MidwestBacon or backbacon I'm all over it like grease on bacon.

figgy, I have bacon.

As best I can I toil day and night trying to keep my venom at bay but unfortunately there are times I fall short of my goal. Curious, if someone says something bad to Figgy will that person get labeled misogynistic? I mean first it’s the supreme court and now EE, where does it all end?

P.S. long live G. Gordon Liddy!

Regarding the return of EE, I don't know. It had gotten a little stale. The winners just didn't strike me as all that funny (and I say this as someone who came in at #2 once -- totally undeserved). The one exception is Skitz, who should receive a lifetime achievement award.

The preview deceived me. I'll have to use an alternate symbol for tags.

Aaaaannnd now... [Shun]

Branded, your slings and arrows can not hurt us, we'll be shielded by a protective forcefield made of Yuengling and TK's ire.

I was wondering when that would turn around!

Okay, next summer, when I turn 21, we'll have to try a Pajibacon Midwest, so I can actually go without blowing tons of cash on plane tickets. The Roots show sounds AMAZING, but I'm flat broke. And, not 21. So, I'd be able to participate in basically nothing.

I just realized that sounded totally self-centered. "We need to have a convention for me and me only, muahahaha!"

I just mean, next summer it would be cool to try the Midwest. That's all.

It's about time we rebooted Eloquent Eloquence. MAKE IT FUUUUN! forget all the stupid continuity that's been dragging it down.

It can never live up to the original spirit, IT WILL SUUUUUUUUCK

BLAH

[Un-shun]

As admin pointed out, TK's ire won't cover your arms.
Also, jealousy is best hidden by shunning.

[Re-shun]

The one exception is Skitz, who should receive a lifetime achievement award.
Posted by: jimbob at June 3, 2009 12:24 PM

He has. Do NOT believe him when he tries to tell you he hasn't.

Also, do NOT believe him when he says he'll "pay you right back". Do NOT believe him when he says "that's not an STD, it's the early part of an elaborate tattoo I'm having done on my junk". Do NOT believe him when he says "there's a male birth control pill and I'm totally on it and besides, I'm pretty sure I had a vasectomy". Do NOT believe him when he says, "running out for smokes. Be right back!" And most importantly, do NOT believe him when he says, "Wendel won't even touch you. He'll probably be passed out anyway". *shivers*

Shun us? Man, this is the Illadeplh. We wear your hatred as a badge of honor and demand naught but your scorn.

Che: I honestly I had no idea Chez was doing that. I dig the guy, but I had to stop reading his site when he starting talking too intimately about his personal life. It made me very uncomfortable. The God's honest is: I miss it. I miss the community aspect of it. And I even kind of miss folks showing off in the hopes of getting placed (except when it devolved into sexist bullshit, and Figgy is not the type to reward that).

I was hoping to bring it back in some other form, but there's not really a better alternative. EE is EE. And though Skitz does have a lifetime achievement, this is a reboot. Everyone starts from scratch. Repeat winners are welcome.

In jest my ass Che, you speak the truth, homes.

I won't be attending the Bacon because I'm too far away. I will look forward to the EE though.

But in honour of all things bacon (because bacon always makes food taste better) here's two links to the greatest bacon experience ever.

www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/competitions/great-american-barbecue-recap/

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR3kfP1IQHk

Cook, barbeqeue and devour these and you'll be in heaven. Just don't. I repeat, DON'T count the calories.

A."Skitz, I'm kind of disappointed that that isn't a real site."

Then... wait. It's not? Who the hell have I been corresponding with regarding how to keep my meat moist and my veggies flavorful? Who's got my Credit Card info?! Where the fuck did this "Ain't No Shock - Crockpots Rock!" shirt come from?!

B."I should know, since I awarded it to the ingrate!

It's not that I'm ungrateful, Che, but it falls a little short in the "Look, I know there was an agreed upon price when I talked to your "manager", but just this once, this one time, can't I pee on you? I won (insert name of award here)... Please?"

C. "that's not an STD, it's the early part of an
elaborate tattoo I'm having done on my junk"

Are you serious?! That's absolutely ridiculous! I've never had a...
Okay, you me got on that one, Lainey...

I am looking forward to the return of EE. I discovered Pajibaland shortly after it was suspended so I missed out on the heyday.

Also, Meaux, Celery, and whoever else may reside in the Maritimes, if there is a Canadian Bacon, nobody can do it like East Coasters can. Admin, you have a long road ahead of you, but you know we'll treat you and the family right once you get here!

So figgy, you're saying that you're...fuzzy? Please forgive me if I step slightly away from the strange little baker lady with the fuzzy skin.

I don’t know Figgy, I’m sure she’s a nice person but I have yet to meet a woman that didn’t have an agenda. For the most part women don’t have a sense of humor, they can’t find the humor in stupidity where as men will bust a gut laughing at stupidity. All of the battles that women had to fight will be fought again in EE, and heaven help the man that says something that is funny as hell but at the expense of a woman.

Here we fucking go again.

EE is coming back! I was on such a good roll before it was (rightfully, of course) put on hiatus. I even offered Pajiba anal.

Shit. I don't remember how to be funny.

Julie, play me off.

Snath, don't worry. Through my years I've developed a very good strategy for blocking asshattery and trolling. Really not even worth it. Definitely comes in handy.

Thanks for nothing Snath, now you’ve ruined any chance of me winning EE just because you don’t know how to take a fucking joke. These fucking guys always breaking my balls.

Pssh. We have NO legal drinking age at all!

PAJIBACON HONDURAS! You can all stay at my house and then you can help me kill my noisy neighbors! Hurrah!

Just don't drink the water.

Probably something to do with a tromboner.

Or a SEXAMAPHONE!

(snort)

Or a... a friggin' BOOBA!

(snork)

Or how about a... What? A BOOBA! It's "tuba" but with the word "boob" instead?

(ahem...)

So, how about a TRU... Yes, it made sense - "tuba" and "booba". You don't know what the fuck you're talking abou... Whazzat? Yeah, I did take some time to come up with that one. So what? Now if you don't mind, I'm in the mi... UP YOURS TOO! Yeah, that's right, I'm the asshole - me... What the hell do you care anyho... Oh, so you're gonna take off your shirt now? That mean you're ready to do something? Gotta get all tough and shit? Be a real man? Is that what you going f...

OHMIGOD, THAT NUN'S ON FIRE!

(runs away)

Figgy, you poor, poor soul. And well played, Rowles, I'll be going short on sleep to make sure I get in on the action - way to drive up the pagehits!

So we're considering a Canadian Bacon, or pajibacan, but what would it be called here on the west coast? Ah hell, once I figure out the law school, I'll need an excuse to check out housing. Victoria, Saskatoon, and Halifax - you're on notice for a possible helmet visit in early July. Bidders please contact the law admissions offices of your respective schools (except Halifax - you've already got a pass. I can be bribed, you can guess how)

Aw, Julie, you maka me blush.

(and when I say west coastite, I mean all westerners--sorry admin, I forgot you're a couple of provinces inland!) Oh, and you might as well grab the folks from the middle provs while you're at it.

Well, the Maritimes ARE fat . . . and sassy . . . not to mention chock full of butter-dipped crustaceans . . . it could work out. But Victoria is full of shufflers, and Saskatoon . . . is Saskatoon. I was just there! Nothing happened.

I would have picked up the phone except that I was covered in absurd amounts of baby slobber. I prefer introductions to not be accompanied by any form of *squelch*.

Also, I'm afraid of new people. I don't know where you've been.

Sweet! I'm down with the road trip, admin - and I'm a great designated driver! I hear Wormer's outta town for a while, so that frees up one seat. Say, while you're at it, could you go by U of S and give the admissions farmer a kick in the head? Bastards went and lost my grades transcripts so I'm having them couriered out for a month-end deadline when most of their decisions have already been made. Luddite weasels and their non-use of electronic communication..

So, meaux, does this mean you'll be helping me move? Or perhaps enlisting some muscularly endowed assistance for when my u-haul comes a-wheezing through your fair province?

I meant Snath. I would talk to the admissions farmer for you Helmet, but it's seeding time so he's out in the feild.

i'm a part-time ontarian, part-time nova scotian and potentially part-time british columbian, so i'm fairly flexible regarding the location of pajibacan. having said that, i'll be in NS until october, with the possibility of a couple of weeks in toronto for business.

Pajibacon is so close, yet so far away! I'm mad excited guys, Philly won't know what hit him!
And woot for the reboot, I'll have to make more witty comments in case the DVD is worth fighting for.

Can we retroactively vote for an EE? Because there was a comment once involving Bjork marrying Mikey Rouke only if the Sweedish chef officiates that STILL makes me giggle at random moments....

Hmm.

Oh, c'mon now, Guess Who - don't be such a tease - might as well type your name and go through all the rigamarole again... We've all missed you to an extent, but really - why not just post as you did? Hmm?

I'm an equal-opportunity objectifier (objectificationer? probably not), L.O.V.E. Everyone needs a little of it every now and then.

(You are now on my List of Doom.)

Ooh, we should watch the movie. Then I can decide if it's a proper torture method to use on my enemies.

And...alas, no, I've tried to play Doom but I get nauseous with first-person shooters. Must be because I'm a girl.

Also: I think first place ought to get figgy's cookies.

Oh, get your minds out of the gutter ... I mean cookies.

Yay! The Eloquents are back! This makes me happy!
I'll have to go practice trying to be clever again..

Nah, buc, Dustin told me on Monday, so I've had some time to prepare. And since I have absolutely nothing to do I've been saving away the good comments at the end of the day, not doing it all at once. Otherwise I might lose my mind.

I don't think the cookies would keep. Their awesomeness must be consumed within three days.

L.O.V.E: you'll be here all week, try the veal!

Damn.

Good luck Figgy, and not just because we share the same last name... well ok, mostly. But big ups to you for not minding being called Figgy. I jump right up the ass of anyone that dare call me that. You're a better woman than I.