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Are You The Goddess

By Robert Scott | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (35)



man curly short hair style.jpg

It’s 80’s week on Pajiba and apparently my memo got lost in the mail. Either that or I Dustin didn’t get the snap bracelet I sent him and he’s mad. It could be that I’m so far down on the big hair list that I don’t warrant notification. I’m the Dep to TK’s Aquanet, the short shorts to Prisco’s spandex, the Members Only jacket to Dustin’s acid wash. That’s fine, I’ve always had an original take on fashion and my wife says I look good in these legwarmers. I don’t need their validation to boost my self-image much like the gentlemen in today’s video don’t need you to bolster theirs. These bastions of manliness are obviously just trying to add more variety to their harem. It is absolutely inconceivable that vessels of testosterone don’t have to hire an assistant to screen all the propositions they’re receiving from ladies who are hot to trot. It’s not as if they’re grodyously malformed or anything. The hair is magnificent, the glasses large and the sweaters are better than my grandmother could make. I just don’t understand it.











Pajiba After Dark 9/1/10 | Dwayne Johnson To Star In Journey 2: The Mysterious Island | Seriously. Shoot Your Agent.













Comments

That one dude looks just like Seth Green with a beard.

Posted by: Porkchop Express at September 1, 2010 8:27 PM

Haha Porkchop I had the same thought.

Posted by: Vince Noir at September 1, 2010 8:38 PM

It's funny... It's funny... and now it's sad. :(

The fashion photographer probably came to a pretty awkward comclusion at some point after this.

Posted by: Sage at September 1, 2010 8:50 PM

that wasn't real, was it?

Posted by: idleprimate at September 1, 2010 9:04 PM

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Posted by: blackwhiteromance.com at September 1, 2010 9:07 PM

whoa. What the fuck is he talking about: Donna Juanitas?

Posted by: Finn at September 1, 2010 9:23 PM

"Hi Mom."

That guy FTW!

Posted by: DarthBrookes at September 1, 2010 9:34 PM

Mr. Scott: are you Satan?

Posted by: Jerce at September 1, 2010 9:35 PM

Posted by: Green Lantern at September 1, 2010 9:41 PM

That was so amazingly awesome that it made me snort in laughter.

And I thought the guy talking about domestic violence looked like Bruce Jenner.

Posted by: bionic woman at September 1, 2010 9:42 PM

My absolute favourite is the guy who had to read his notes when describing what he was looking for in a woman.

But a special "Hey-Yo" to the baldy who didn't want a fattie. I like an honest man; I would have totally sent him a letter and seduced him through the written word for many months before arranging for that special date at a cheap but tasteful motel room. And when he opened the door of that cheap but tasteful motel room expecting to see the woman of his dreams, I would have wiggled my fat ass in his general direction and then laughed and laughed and laughed as the hope for true love fell from his eyes and dripped slowly and sadly down his chubby little cheeks.

Posted by: Kelly at September 1, 2010 9:43 PM

What is a Donna Juanita?

Posted by: Brenton at September 1, 2010 10:01 PM

What on earth is a "body designer" job?

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at September 1, 2010 10:10 PM

Good God. I would not have stood a chance. Good thing I was too young to date in the eighties and came of age when the overall caliber of men was waaay down, so that I had a fighting chance.

Posted by: coryo at September 1, 2010 10:44 PM

I may have been accused of being that particular deity on occasion, Jerce.

Posted by: Robert Scott at September 1, 2010 10:49 PM

Between the video and the spambot, this post covers the evolution of bad dating services.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at September 1, 2010 11:34 PM

There was certainly no shortage of molester mustache in the '80s.

Posted by: monkeyhateclean at September 1, 2010 11:39 PM

Was everyone in the 80s a serial killer?

Posted by: Dollydager at September 2, 2010 12:18 AM

Was everyone in the 80s a serial killer?

Yes.

Posted by: MM at September 2, 2010 2:53 AM

"Donna Juanita": Female equivalent of "Don Juan." A slut.

Come on, people! Urban dictionary!

Even "Pajiba" has three entries on the UD (quite frankly, I'm shocked. Alright, who did it? Fess up! Well, the last one was probably not a follower of The Flying Spaghet...er..Godtopus.

Of course, when I heard this guy on the video say "Donna Juanita", I immediately thought it was some kind of racial slur. I had to look it up.

Posted by: Vince Noir at September 2, 2010 3:16 AM

...and OH MY GOD! I swear that the "I-like-to-talk-to-people-deep-into-the-night"-guy was my recent asshole landlord 25 years in the past! If not, I'm still going to believe that that goblet of anal sweat I knew as "overlord" is indeed the serial-rapist on this video.

Posted by: Vince Noir at September 2, 2010 3:24 AM

Is it just me or do they all look like child molesters?

Posted by: SB at September 2, 2010 7:14 AM

Okay, now I want to see equal time for the ladies.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at September 2, 2010 8:16 AM

Vince Noir, I'm starting up a band and naming it Goblet of Anal Sweat. We'll play classic metal with a stage show that includes swords and fire and probably a dragon or two. Perhaps a slight bit of tasteful nudity as well. I'd be honoured if you'd be the lead singer.

Posted by: Robert Scott at September 2, 2010 8:35 AM

OK, this is why you should never get tattoos, unconventional piercings, or flesh cheetos. At least the mustache and big hair you can shave off, the glasses and clothing you can change. Never do anything permanent to your body, or you'll be stuck looking like a version of those guys.

I still worry about the men you get those really big earplug things. They are going to have serious old man lobes before their time.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 2, 2010 8:49 AM

And the sad part is, the guy in the Viking outfit seemed to be the most normal and sincere one of the bunch.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 2, 2010 8:55 AM

BWeaves, I was just thinking, "If I had to go out with one of those guys, at least the Viking seems like he wouldn't suddenly lunge at my boobs, talk about his mommy issues, or spend the evening talking about how I wasn't meeting his standards."

Posted by: Brook at September 2, 2010 10:02 AM

Is Jon Bon Jovi about to punch me in the face? Not sure how to feel about that.

On one hand, he has bitch hair, a popped collar and faux-Jersey toughness. All of this makes him a pussy.

On the other hand, he has that giant ring on his punching hand, increasing any damage done to my face by a factor of 3.

Wait! I own a pair of brass knuckles! The tables have turned!

All right, Jovi, let's do this.

Posted by: Kballs at September 2, 2010 10:14 AM

I know a hot club_______Mixed friends.c o m_______ which is a hot community for whites and blacks to find their interracial love. there has been thousands of single members online and many black and white single girls or guys waitting for you maybe you will like it.

Posted by: blucee at September 2, 2010 10:51 AM

wow I thought Joel Osteen found his wife through the power of god. and who think he was a browns fan?

Posted by: brian at September 2, 2010 2:17 PM

Oh yeah, baby, I'm the goddess. So come on over Mr. Rick Springfield light. I'll rock your world so hard you may never be able to leave the basement. Okay, so the restraints may play a part in that. How else am I going to introduce you to Mr. Body Designer? It's quite obvious he's doing the video dating thing for a buddy so they can do the bait and switch, whereas you, Mr. Failed Soft Rock Balladeer, are just his type. You can bond over hair products and stare soulfully into each other's eyes as you realize it wasn't the goddess you were looking for after all.

Posted by: Reba at September 2, 2010 7:31 PM

pssh, Kballs, you wish you could handle the Jovi. Not only will those rings fuck you up, but he could wrap you up in those luscious locks and squeeze the life out of you like a boa constrictor.

Posted by: Even Stevens at September 2, 2010 7:52 PM

Where can we go to have an extramarital affair? It seems to me that mated ladies together with married males looking to have affairs all go to the same mated dating sites. I believe that its a great thing and no one should have to remain devoted to a marriage they dislike very strongly.

Posted by: married seeking at November 1, 2010 2:38 PM

Such kits for building tree houses are available at most household stores or on-line. A structure for example this is totally independent. First, it is best to pick the form or sort of tree wherein you happen to be going to location it. It can be going to be their personal location so why not let them choose the designs and colors they want.

Posted by: Valerie May at December 30, 2010 5:04 AM

Newly-acquired WRs Anquan Boldin and T.J. Houshmandzadeh were supposed to be the distinction for the Ravens. They had been. HAHA You guys are the very best players on our team! Go Steelers!

Posted by: Rebecca at January 17, 2011 12:05 PM


















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