Pajiba

We Americans generally think you Canadians are pretty cool. After all, you gave us Degrassi, William Shatner, Terence and Philip (even if they are fictional), Spirit of the West, and all sorts of other cool pop culture greats. Plus, you lend us a bunch of hockey players for our NHL teams.

Don't mounties have international jurisdiction?

That's some gnarly shit.

Why so many people are interested in an i-nterracial relations-hip. black woman want to date white man and black guys want to have relationship with white women. There are many sites focusing on this kind of relationships such as *** (B lack wh ite Romance)* .*{C00M} ***

You also gave us Nathan Fillion, for which I am really grateful.

However, your quote, ". . . the majority Americans can probably tell you every handgun Smith and Wesson has made since 1852 but couldn’t locate Canada on a globe if you painted the country Red and White."

I live in Florida. In Junior High School we were required to go up, one by one, to a blackboard with a blank map of the USA on it, and fill in the names of the states. Nobody filled in Florida, and we lived there. They never got to me. The bell rang.

Another time someone asked where a new kid was from and he said, "Iowa." The other kid's mother said, "Oh, we call it Ohio here."

My darling hubby lived in New Mexico for a while. Someone in Florida wanted to know how long it took him to get his passport, so he could go to that foreign country.

Hell - Americans don't know anything about this country either. Just saw this today on Wikipedia:

"Detroit 1-8-7 is an upcoming American drama series that will air on ABC in Fall 2010... 187 (murder) refers to the California Penal Code section dealing with murder, which is especially moronic given that Michigan's criminal code's section on murder is 750.316."

I don't want to go off on one but...

I hate these fucking things. Some smart-arsed hipster shite bag asking a bunch of random dim-witted eejits on the streets of California random questions about Canada and editing it together to make every cunt look like a mong. Well done. You get a golf clap for that, big man.

Fuck off. I lived in the US for six years and there I met some of the most intelligent, informed and all around kind-hearted people you could hope to come across.

I realize this is a US/Canada thing and it's all for a laugh. I suppose I'm reacting to the constant barrage of Anti-American sentiment in general. The Holier-than-thou mentality adopted (primarily) by Europeans and (occasionally) by Canadians. But it's all a load of shite.

The US isn't Fox News. It isn't McDonalds. Well... maybe it is... but it's that and a whole lot more.

Argh. I have no point (a wee bit pished)

CANADA

The Bieb

Dione

Bryan Adams

It's not that I don't love you. But this relationship needs work.

What? We have geography classes? That kind of studying stops in Middle School when Social Studies slowly transitions to USA: A-OK: A Study of Why We're Great! Sure, there's probably a World History class at some point in High School that might make reference to the frozen wasteland up yonder, but that's nothing compared to 2 years of US History. It's so expansive, I've yet to hear of a history class that reached the Korean War, or as my classmates called it, "What?"

Two years ago while studying in Spain, I had the following exchange. In a bar.

Me: (Runs out of stuff to say in Spanish).

Spaniard: Oh, you're not Spanish?

Me (flattered): No, no I'm not.

Spaniard: (Looks around at my friends (primarily a bunch of Southern blondes (sic 'em Baylor Bears! (yeehaw Texas!)))) Ok, so you're German.

Me: No, not German either. We're American.

Spaniard: American, right, right. So you're Canadian.

Me: Sorry, no, my mistake. Not North American. Just, American.

Spaniard (increasingly perplexed): So you're from California?

Me (increasingly perplexed): No, we're Texans. From Texas.

Spaniard: That's close to California, right?

Me:...

Rejoice, Canadians and Canadiennes, for he guessed I was you before he guessed that I was me. And Americans, we are not the only people on Earth to be ignorant of our own geography, but we are the only country I've been to that will (proudly at times) admit an ignorance of North American geography.

I know that given the opportunity to have french cuisine, british culture and american government the canadians somehow ended up with british cuisine, french government and american culture. (although the way american government has been going lately, that part is probably for the better).

And, in addition to the great stuff above, thanks for the novels of Michael Slade.

A. That guy is pretty hot.

B. I'm an American and I knew the answer to every question he asked. Granted, I also lived in Toronto for a year.

On a road trip to Yosemite for a wedding, my mom and I tried to name all 50 states. We got all but two. Our American cousin, at said wedding, didn't even know how many provinces we have, let alone what their names are.

*facepalm*

Oh, fuck right off. I like Canada so much I married a Canadian.
That's right. I love you maple syrup eating, British English spelling bastards. Every last one of you.

What pissed me off was my future in-laws assuming I was a complete moron that knew nothing about their country. Ha! Suck it Canada. I'm on to you. I'm on to you hard.

DominaNefret, exactly. You lived in Toronto for a year and you know all of them. These are basic questions about Canada. Except maybe the Canadian accent one. I just suck at accents. I'd only be able to do it cause I'm Canadian.

WARNING: BRAGGING. My 15 year old daughter finished a year-long world geography course last year that was AP (Advanced Placement). She had to sit for a college-level exam after the course was over, as a freshman in high school.

I can tell you for a fact that the course was intense, rigorous and deep. (It was really called Human Geography.)

They had to read and write reaction essays over Guns, Germs and Steel (that was outside class time). They had to be able to name ANY country the teacher pointed to on an unmarked map (and by the end of the year, demonstrate they knew every single one in a timed test). They had to be able to discuss the effects of human development and culture on many different parts and geographical features of the world, both verbally and written.

And she knows all the Canadian provinces and territories and their capitals. And much more about Canada, too.

And, of course, many other countries.

To further blow your mind: we live in Texas.

We're not all yahoos!

In America's defense, I'm Canadian and it'd be hard for me to name all the states, 10 American presidents, any war that Canada had no part in and I'm still not clear on the facts of the Louisiana Purchase. What can I say? My teachers were more concerned with teaching me Canadian history. Most of my knowledge of the States is from the media and from my relatives. So if an interviewer approached me and asked me about the USA, I might have a lot of dumb things to say too. (which would be hilarious to Americans, but I wouldn't sign a release form.)

Listen Bob, two of our top t.v. shows are called “The First 48” and “Lockdown.” Motherfucker do you think we give a fuck about you or your syrup drinking ass country? The fuck I care about an igloo that has central heating that I can piss on and make it melt? But please excuse us for not knowing how to milk a caribou, one never knows when they’ll be stuck on a Hoth System and the only thing you have for sustenance is a dead ton-ton.

They either intentionally edited that to make everyone looked stupid or they just happened to meet every idiot in California. I don't know a ton about Canada but I knew almost all of those answers (I did only just learn about poutine from Feist on Pajiba Love). I think it hurts me as much as it hurts you to see how painfully dumb some people are.

The fuck I care about an igloo that has central heating that I can piss on and make it melt?

And, as usual, Pookie gets right to the heart of the matter.

So, Robert, I'm confused: why would there be an assumption that Californians would be more enlightened about Canada than say, people who live in states that actually border Canada?

PS: Snuggie, that's pretty amazing.

So I've been to a lot of places. Met a lot of different people from every continent and about 50 thousand different countries. And I've found out some shit. Mostly that there's ignorant and intelligent people everywhere. All the Americans I've met have actually been incredibly tolerant and smart, never wondering if Honduras was in Asia or something.

In fact, the most intolerant, geographically ignorant people I ever met were Russians. Or former USSR countries. Which I thought was kind of interesting. Granted, I've met like 20 of them so that doesn't mean everyone in their countries is like that. I just found it funny that on the one hand they'd CONSTANTLY bitch about American 'ignorance' while being incredibly ignorant and intolerant about non-Europeans themselves. I actually met a Ukranian who asked me if people in Honduras slept in hammocks.

In conclusion: fuck the Commies, man.

Easy there, bleujayone; your point has been made (far more cutely and less crankily) by Paddy. We like to pick on you Yanks, but you know we loves ya!

All the Americans I've met have actually been incredibly tolerant and smart, never wondering if Honduras was in Asia or something.

Posted by: figgy at August 23, 2010 11:36 PM

It's not?

Maggie Trudeau.

Fuck you.

(But I like you people, so: Fuck you gently.)

Unfortunately I can't watch the video. I spend the majority of my time in Pajibaland at work and even though some embeds do show up, I don't dare watch them. Usually if you stream anything, they have some way of tracking it to which computer it came from and which site, which leads to disciplinary action and a prompt blocking of said site. If I lost my Pajiba access while at work I could make it a week or so before I got stabby and went all jihaddy up in this bitch. I get the idea though.

If the following is to be taken as an accurate cross-section of California’s population
Who the fuck would think that?

I just find it especially amusing that the majority Americans can probably tell you every handgun Smith and Wesson has made since 1852 but couldn’t locate Canada on a globe
I own several guns, grew up with them, everyone in my family owns guns and I couldn't even come close to doing this. Anyone who knows that much about guns and their history also knows a little about world history also. The two subjects inevitably mix.

When I was in school, we were required to learn about the U.S.A. in addition to our own rich bacon-y history.
We also learned about the history of other parts of the world, but just like in Canada most people forget a lot of that information.

They have no idea how a 1500 sq. ft. igloo with central heating is constructed, they haven’t the faintest clue how one would go about milking a caribou and they certainly don’t know that a Mountie isn’t just a name for a sex offender
Are you seriously or even jokingly suggesting that these are things you would have us learn about Canadians? What is with the shift from historical fact to this worthless garbage? Do people really drink caribou milk?

I’m not saying Americans are stupid
You clearly are.

I could be wrong.
You obviously are.

Since absolutely no one that frequents this site is as stupid as whatever fuckwits are shown in that video, What made you think this post had an audience here? If you are going to write for Pajiba, try and know who you're writing for. Was this post just to occupy a few minutes of your day? Are you trolling? I just don't get it.

Don't 90% of all Canadians live within 100 miles of the US?

It's like you're giving us one big hug!

Feels nice.

Canadia is cool.
My knowledge of the Great White North is not exhaustive, but I've been to various locales in three provinces, have dreamed of moving to a remote area of BC, or Nova Scotia, or Newfoundland, listened to a Canadian classic rock station all throughout my high school years in northern New York (CHOM-FM in Montreal), almost got engaged to a woman in Calgary, discovered poutine at a roadside diner in Huntingdon, QC, spent way too many dollars shopping and eating in Cornwall, ON, almost died on the Jacques Cartier Bridge while searching for La Ronde (surviving to return there two more times), and came *this close* to moving to Lourdes-de-Blanc-Sablon a couple years back.

Living in Michigan, I know very well about Canada. Worked with a couple of ex Canada Tel people while I worked for Worldcom...married a woman who's ancestry is French-Canadian...and, of course, our own illustrious disaster of a governer, Jennifer Granholm is Canadian.

So...yeah, thanks.

Oh, and on a purely positive note, love Curling. One of my very favorite sports. Not so much for Hockey, though. Sorry.

Canada...?

That's where ginger ale comes from right?

Good. You're indoctrination as our 51st state is nearly complete. My gratitude to the Canadian school system for playing along.

Posted by: Kballs at August 24, 2010 9:06 AM

I don't think Texas so much wants any more states bigger than it. Least of all a bunch of commies.

(Y'all are commies, right?)

I find this post incredibly disappointing - ironic and passe, even.

Here's something about America you might not have known: Jay Leno interviews stupid people on the street. No one thinks it's funny.

These kind of videos that supposedly show how ignorant Americans are seem to always be shot in tourist hot spots. Did no one notice there was at least one Brit, several Asians and various other nationalities represented as stupid Californians?

Don't mean to take the air out of your proposition, but the theory that "the majority of Americans can probably tell you every handgun Smith and Wesson has made since 1852" is not in any way accurate. Don't ask me how I know.

The majority of Americans don't know very much at all about guns. I'm guessing even a majority of gun owners don't know all that much, certainly not about the history of firearms. History really isn't our strong suit.

Americans get most of what they know about guns from the same place they get most of their knowledge about sex, history, politics, romance, etc.: TV and movies. Depressing. And it explains a lot.

As for why Americans are so often ignorant of other countries' histories, a possible clue: When I attended high school (it's been awhile, so maybe this has changed), we had 4 full years of American History required to graduate. There was only one year of World History available, and it wasn't required. You could graduate from my (supposedly) excellent high school (in Oklahoma, so maybe that explains it) without ever taking a world history class. And if you didn't have to take any world history courses in college, you could very well be a college graduate with little to no schooling whatsoever in world history.

SBrown, I think Leno's had ratings that prove otherwise.

I didn't find this video funny because the guy in the video seems like a jerk. I'm Canadian and it doesn't bother me at all that a lot of Americans know nothing about us. Most of those people probably wouldn't have known much about America either. I think Americans think Canadians hate them more than we actually do. We just keep making the jokes because they're kind of a cute tradition.

I see what people are talking about when they say some Canadians have an inferiority complex but I think it's just a vocal few. Most Canadians care about as much about Americans as you guys care about us. Which is to say, they don't give your nationality much of a thought.

P.S. PaddyDog = Awesome.

Hey now Paddydog, the polygamists are over in Bountiful, BC. Alberta has a lot of religious freaks, but not so much polygamists.

And I've met a lot of dumb Canadians, and I haven't met too many Americans but on the whole they've been really well travelled. Hell one guy I met even knew each province's chief exports.

And Canada may be Celine's homeland, but if Americans didn't love her so much she'd still be singing Québécois folk songs in a bar in Chicoutimi, so for the love of god stop blaming us for that too.

really?? you had to learn all states and their capitals? LOL.

I dont have problems with Canadians. I'm from Minnesota so it's like I've been to Canada already anyways.

Actually Stupid Velociraptors, you really have to blame the Swiss. They're the ones who hired her to represent them in the Eurovsion Song Contest thus bringing her to the attention of the global people-with-no-ears-who-buy-music demographic.

@Stupid:

Oh my, if you've got a problem with 'C'etait comme une reve', we've got a problem. Don't tell me that you'll soon impugn 'Je d-d-d-danse dans ma tete '. (I know where the accents go, just not how to use them).

**

But for real, anyone here with a working knowledge of French should check out Celine's song 'Ziggy'- laugh your ass out lame lyrics, and I'm saying this from a post-Mitsou perspective.

Am I to assume that this is a 'Talking to Americans' bit? If so, I'll skip. Heck, and that was during his dubious glory days. Now? Poor Rick Mercer, these days he wants to be Jon Stewart so badly. It is apparent to all but him however, that he is the Silver Kane to Jon's Erica, so I hope Monsieur Stewart has his bear spray at the ready. 'Made in Canada' had its moments, though, but that's mainly thanks to Peter Keleghan.

I'm a born-and-bred Canadian who hasn't even ever been to the States, and I found this post kind of overblown. As I see it, we should be thanking America for keeping Conrad 'The Con Star' Black out of the country and our butter tarts. Dang, I've gotta buy some butter tarts tomorrow.

At any rate, the true Canadian obsession isn't poking fun at the south, it's hating Princess Toronto. That one's real, and it's deep.

Okay, fine, this: "Did America invent oxygen or did they just discover it?" made me guffaw. I'm putting that on a shirt.

Sorry I'm late for the race war, I was busy chasing a beaver. Now that I'm here though, can we please clear something up? The real issue here is our immigration laws. Conservatives have been saying for years that we're too lax, letting in just about anyone. Sadly, the comments section in this post do nothing but lend them ammunition. Turns out, we will let just about any fucktard in - especially if you have a valid passport from the south. Sad, really, how a couple of dicks can ruin it for everyone.