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According to the ‘New Girl’ Cast, the Upfronts Are Basically a Week-Long Kegger

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | May 12, 2014 | Comments ()


trueamericanupfronts.jpg

We’re already hearing a lot of news coming out of this year’s upfronts: cancellations, renewals, new shows’ trailers. But for any of us who were under the naive assumption that the upfronts were a professional event designed to allow networks to present their fall schedules and securing advertising, the cast of New Girl is here to let us know that we’re stupid and oh-so-naive. Apparently it’s actually closer to a week-long bender. Like a television network bachelor party. The show’s cast was asked to give advice for getting through the event, and Hannah Simone talked about the importance of networking, Max Greenfield tells everyone to take a chill pill, and Zooey Deschanel did a great impression of my mom sending me off to college (“Make it through the day: drink lots of coffee, wash your hands, take some vitamins.”)

But Damon Wayans Jr. opens up to give some practical advice, and seems to be speaking from experience.

Don’t drink too much because you’re going to have to do interviews and you don’t want stuff in print — sarcasm doesn’t translate into print.

Lamorne Morris also wants us to learn from his mistakes.
Wear something comfortable and casual and don’t drink too much — I’ve already made that mistake. It’s a nightmare when you drink [like] crazy — especially when you are in New York. I lived in New York for a little bit, and you don’t want to drink too much because you walk too much — and that’s not fun. And don’t sleep with strange women or strange dudes.

But for the ultimate advice on drinking to excess, always listen to Nick Miller.
Hydrate, don’t drink too much early. There will be an event that starts at 11 [that] inside it will feel like a party; it’s not, you’ve got a long day ahead of you — pace yourself. There’s not much that you have to do, but you have to do everything. So, slow and steady wins the race at upfronts.

So when is Joe Swanberg going to make a movie starring Jake Johnson, about drunken Upfronts escapades? Soon, right?

Via The Wrap.

When Vivian Kane plays True American, it’s Clinton Rules all the way.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • mlurve

    I actually just came home from the Fox upfront (I work in media). The best way I can describe these things is as a rich person's wedding. You go to the presentation which is basically like a ceremony: it's nice but you just want to get to the party and start drinking. Then you head over to the party. The Fox one was in the middle of Central Park in air conditioned tents. There's a crapton of all different types of food, and a massive dessert table. Not to mention it's open bar everywhere, so people do drink quite a bit. Usually these things run into the night and there's often an "after after" party so it's way easy to drink more than you intend to.

    I didn't see anyone from New Girl, but there were people from the Mindy Project and Sleepy Hollow taking pictures. I skipped as I watch neither, but I actually ran into the cast of Brooklyn 99 on my way out which was awesome. I was too afraid to talk to most of them but did take a picture with Andre Braugher who was very nice! :)

  • Lord Inferno

    Rich people weddings are weird.

    The last wedding I went to was "Derby" themed, which in Fort Collins, CO doesn't really translate. Half the groomsmen were in kilts, the dinner was barbecue from a local restaurant that parked a huge smoker on the front lawn. Two sets of pictures were taken; standard wedding party poses and the "shotgun weeding" set where they cleaned out the gunsafes and everyone got to pose with a weapon of some kind. Oh, and the family business is a pet cemetery and it was an outdoor weeding so we all took pictures amongst the headstones next to the BBQ smoker.

    The groom was the brother of my best friend from college. He is 6'8", 350 lbs., and used to work as security in a hospital ER/psych ward. Currently though he has a full ride scholarship for a masters in voice. He is an operatic Tenor and has the voice of an angle. The bride is a Mezzo and just did a stint in New York I think. So all the music was done by musicians they knew through graduate school.

    Best damn wedding I have ever been too.

  • mlurve

    That sounds awesome. My cousin's wedding cost six figures easily. I think most of the money was spent on food which was great, but you can only eat so much, ya know? They got divorced within three years.

  • emmalita

    That's too bad. I'm fortunate that my friends tend to have sensible wedding with all the fireworks provided by crazy relative. Crazy relative are free and make more lasting memories.

  • Lord Inferno

    Somebody's never had to bail uncle Frank out with a cash-only bond. Or lost their security deposit on a bus.

  • emmalita

    Uncle Frank can rot. He knows what he did!

  • emmalita

    Your avatar needs to be the pic with Andre Braugher. Or at least, Andre Braugher.

  • mlurve

    Great idea! I did it but for some reason disqus decided to turn it sideways.

  • emmalita

    Disqus is Skynet's passive aggressive cousin. Great pic!

  • Jericho Smith

    So Disqus is either racist or fauxmophobic?

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