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Academy Members Didn't Actually Watch 12 Years a Slave, Probably Used a Drunken Darts Method Instead

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | March 7, 2014 | Comments ()


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How long can I drag out Oscar coverage before you guys throw things at me? One more day? Awesome. Because the Academy has really outdone themselves in their Are You F*cking Kidding Me News division.

This beauty came out a few weeks ago. It’s an Academy member’s super-honest ballot, and it’s a great look at why members vote for the movies they do. Plus, it reads like your crotchety grandpa complaining about the neighborhood kids causing a ruckus.

Not to be outdone by your ranting grandfather, two Academy members have fessed up that despite voting for 12 Years a Slave for Best Picture, THEY NEVER ACTUALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE.

Look, I know the Oscars are meaningless. It’s more politics than any measure of actual merit (usually). “Best Picture” should actually be called “The Picture That Made a Bunch of Money and also Had a Studio Campaigning Like It Was Running For Student Council Treasurer.” Actors and the rest are forever getting Judi Denched, winning for Shakespeare in Love when what they’re really winning for is a lifetime of being Judi Dench. Hell, usually what most of us consider the “best” movies in a given year aren’t even nominated. (I’m looking at you, Moonrise Kingdom.) But I feel like this is a new level of bullshittery. The Academy members said they didn’t watch the film because it would be “upsetting.” Yeah, no doy. It’s a super upsetting movie. But it’s your damn job.

During her opening monologue at the Oscars, Ellen made the joke “Possibility number one, 12 Years a Slave could win. Possibility number two, you’re all racists.” Considering 94% of the Academy is white (and 77% male, with a median age of 62, I’ll add), it’s very likely that there would have been a major backlash if the movie hadn’t gotten the award.

12 Years a Slave is an incredible movie, and I personally thought it deserved to win, but it’s really shitty that the movie was reduced to it’s basic appearances and assumed importance. Ellen, unfortunately, seems to have hit the nail right on its old white head.

Via LAist.

Vivian Kane still really enjoys watching the Oscars, but she honestly couldn’t tell you why.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Nadiney

    I'll never forget the rage I felt and still feel when an academy voter admitted, like, WHERE OTHER PEOPLE CAN HEAR AND READ IT, that he didn't vote for Quevenzhane Wallis because he couldn't pronounce her name.
    I want to punch so many faces.

  • Ben

    Man you should see the shit that got leaked about the best animated film, it's fucking absurd. The fact that you can vote on these things without having seen all the nominees blows my fucking mind.

  • Mr_Grumpypants

    Agree - except for the bit saying Moonrise Kingdom deserved best picture. That movie was an emotionless, artificial Wes Anderson parody.

  • With the exception of his defense of Woody Allen, I kind of agree with the guy on a lot of points, especially about American Hustle.

  • Yocean

    You know what really upsets me about that asshole ballot? It shows the institutional lack of recognition towards animation as more than just or kids. Why are we letting these old egomaniac idiots decide on art again?

  • John W

    Academy didn't actually watch the movies they voted for as the best picture.

    What a shock.

  • oui

    kinda like what Cate B said in opening the speech? it's just a crapshoot sometimes? sometimes it depends on how the voters feel that day, i guess.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It's not their job to watch the movie OR to vote. But they really shouldn't do one without the other. Just as we shouldn't encourage our friends and colleagues to vote unless they actually educate themselves on the candidates or referenda they are voting on.

    As for the guy revealing his ballot choices - he's got some well-thought out opinions. You can disagree with them, but at least he can specify the reasons for his votes (and non-votes!) He also doesn't sound old-man crotchety to me so much as someone who is used to rendering his opinions clearly and bluntly, which I can imagine would be the case if you are a power player in Hollywood.

  • e jerry powell

    I think of it as an assumed point of pride that comes with Academy membership, but that's me speaking as an outsider looking in. Otherwise, what's the point (aside from getting into the good parties)?

  • L.O.V.E.

    Confession, I up-voted your defense of the crotchety old-man without actually reading the story about him revealing his ballot choices.

  • Repo

    That voter sure did like American Hustle WAY more than I did.

  • This is the least surprising news ever. 12 Years a Slave won Best Picture the second it debuted at TIFF and wasn't terrible. It didn't even need to be as good as it was. A competent, small-scale "historical atrocity" film was taking the statue the year after a Hollywood film earned the prize. The Oscar campaign was "It's time," for god sake.

    I know the pundits said this would be the closest race in years, but anyone who even casually follows film knew how Best Picture was going down. For all the talk this being a historical, brave choice, it was actually obvious and conventional. Giving Hollywood's highest honor to a popular, big-budget sci-fi/action film is far balliser.

  • Amanda M. Wilson

    my roomate's sister-in-law Μ­­­­­­а­­­­­­κ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ѕ $­­­­­83 every հ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­υ­­­­­­r on the с­­­­­­օ­­­­­­Μ­­­­­­р­­­­­­υ­­­­­­τ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­r. She has been fired for ten Μ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ­­­­­­ѕ but last Μ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ her check was $­­­­­17373 just W­­­­­­օ­­­­­­r­­­­­­κing on the с­­­­­­օ­­­­­­Μ­­­­­­р­­­­­­υ­­­­­­τ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­r for a Ϝ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­W հ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­υ­­­­­­rs. հ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­r­­­­­­℮'s the ѕ­­­­­­і­­­­­­τ­­­­­­℮ to read more,... http://Googlejobcreation2014fullyhw3a....

    ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛⪕ ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛� ◛◛◛ ◛◛◛It's not their job to watch the movie OR to vote. But they really shouldn't do one without the other.

  • WLabody1991

    мʏ ʀօօмαт­­­­­­e­­­­­­'ѕ αυɴт мαĸ­­­­­­e­­­­­­ѕ $6з нօυʀʟʏ օɴ тн­­­­­­e­­­­­­ ƈօмքυт­­­­­­e­­­­­­ʀ. ѕн­­­­­­e­­­­­­ нαѕ в­­­­­­e­­­­­­­­­­­­e­­­­­­ɴ ғιʀ­­­­­­e­­­­­­ɖ ғʀօм աօʀĸ ғօʀ 8 мօɴтнѕ вυт ʟαѕт мօɴтн нɛʀ ιɴƈօм­­­­­­e­­­­­­ աαѕ $1з709 ʝυѕт աօʀĸιɴɢ օɴ тн­­­­­­e­­­­­­ ƈօмքυт­­­­­­e­­­­­­ʀ ғօʀ α ғ­­­­­­e­­­­­­ա нօυʀѕ. вʀօաѕ­­­­­­e­­­­­­ αʀօυɴɖ тнιѕ ա­­­­­­e­­­­­­в-ѕιт­­­­­­e­­­­­­ SaveJury.com

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