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5 Shows After Dark: These People Should Not Be Policing Anything

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | November 25, 2013 | Comments ()


ustv-fashion-police-cast.jpg

Almost Human on Fox at 8:00pm ET.

Fashion Police: the 2013 American Music Awards on E at 9:00pm ET. I would like these shows more if they actually talked for real about cut, drape, color coordination, fabric, accessories, and other real fashion related issues. The problem is that they’ll nod their head in that direction and then get down to the real business, which is firing off cutesy one-liners about the actors or actresses in question related more to their public image than what they’re wearing. I don’t give a shit about who’s stumbling out of a club, I want to have an in-depth conversation about hi-low hems and exactly how long we think that’s going to be acceptable. Or how long you can call something a “dress” when its primary goal is exposing the maximum amount of skin possible while skirting just on the edge of a public nudity charge. Also: when will they start making tuxedos that do that? I’m sure there’s some exhibitionist men feeling very left out that they can’t expose their abs in a tastefully tailored shirt that happens to not have any buttons until the navel. Or show off their killer calves thanks to a daring slit up the side of their trousers. I have a lot of thoughts on the topic, as you can see.

Sleepy Hollow on Fox at 9:00pm ET.

Toxic Hot Seat on HBO at 9:00pm ET. You know those scare-headlines news reports like to use, you know, “Five things in your home that can kill you right now, tonight, at 11.”? This is the documentary version of that.

Blacklist on NBC at 10:01pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess has a lot of thoughts about proper draping. A LOT.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Michelle

    Is Almost Human worth diving into?

  • ellie

    I feel like George is probably the only one able to properly judge some of the horrendous looks they discuss on that show, being a stylist. Giuliana, Kelly and Joan have no right to considering some of the shit they wear.

  • emmalita

    I think the kilt is still the major avenue to male exhibitionism, although Flea gave it a shot at some music awards many years ago. The penis sling with bow-tie just didn't take off.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Alas, neither did my drop-front breeches.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I have actually worn drop-front trousers on many, MANY occasions. In my experience, they tend to end up looking like you have "diaper butt".

    Just a side effect of working at the ol' fur trade fort. For the record, @emmalita:disqus, they ARE sometimes accessorized with a sword (a sabre, usually) and a jaunty top hat. And a musket.

  • emmalita

    I'm no fashion expert, but that man looks quite dashing. All he needs is a rapier and perhaps a jaunty hat.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Obviously, that is a picture of me as a slightly younger man. I believe my rapier was being serviced when the picture was taken. I suppose I WAS quite dashing.

  • emmalita

    Wait! That's really you? Very dashing.

  • carrie

    when you praise Marion Cottillard's Dior BAFTA yellow dress ,you need to shut up

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