Ryan Seacrest Dares You to Bring Your Best Knock Knock Jokes

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 21, 2015 |

Knock Knock Live on Fox at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a show where celebrities show up and surprise you with “life changing” events on live television. There’s a page where you can apply to be a participant or nominate your friends so this sounds like an excellent way to potentially embarrass the hell out of someone close to you. Don’t tell them I told you that. Hosted by Ryan Seacrest because, well, obviously it’s hosted by Ryan Seacrest. Who else would host this kind of faux-uplifting yet also aggressively confrontational show?

Tut on Spike TV at 9:00pm ET. First season finale. I think it’s a little ambitious to call the end of a miniseries the “season finale” but I guess the US doesn’t have great terms to describe miniseries like that. So, whatever, all three episodes of a limited event count as a season of television. Sure.

Zoo on CBS at 9:00pm ET.

Storage Wars on A&E at 9:30pm ET. Seventh season premiere. Is it evil to wait for the inevitable cross over between Storage Wars and Hoarders? Because I guarantee there is a hoarder out there who points to shows like this and Antiques Roadshow as the reason their formal dining room is stacked to the ceiling with other people’s garage sale cast-offs.

Royal Pains on USA at 10:00pm ET. Seventh season finale. Seems like these seasons are getting shorter every summer. Pretty soon they’ll be in Tut territory of calling somewhere under six hours of television a “season.”

Genevieve Burgess is open to a healthy amount of potential embarrassment if Fox will pay off her student loans, FYI.

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