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Jess, You Don't Toast To Celebrate a Pregnancy! You Silly New Girl.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 5, 2016 |


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Finding Your Roots on PBS at 8:00pm ET. Third season premiere. On the surface of it, I don’t necessarily have a problem with people finding out where their families come from. After all, filthy rich people in most of the world dedicate virtual temples to their lineage, why should us plebes be any less interested? But then I see things like that Ancestry.com commercial about the guy that was “German” until they went on Ancestry.com and then “traded my lederhosen for a kilt!” and I roll my eyes so hard they almost fall out and go “YOU ARE AMERICAN! Put on a pair of jeans and eat a hot dog if you want to connect to your ‘heritage’.” Genetics does not automatically equal a cultural connection.

New Girl on Fox at 8:00pm ET. Fifth season premiere. Usually I enjoy seeing all the ridiculous ways that TV shows hide the pregnancies of their main female characters but looking at the promo pic up there, they’re barely trying with Deschanel. “Hey, blousy shirts? *shrug*” STEP UP YOUR GAME, New Girl wardrobe department! Have you seen Grey’s Anatomy? I think at least one of those cast members carried twins to term with nary a suspiciously convenient counter in sight! But they do mostly wear scrubs and lab coats, which is a bit of an unfair advantage.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Fox at 9:00pm ET. Third season winter premiere.

The Expanse on SyFy at 10:00pm ET.

Killing Fields on Discovery at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a new true-crime series on Discovery that is reopening a cold case in Louisiana, an unsolved murder from 19 years ago. But, unlike some of the more recent, critically acclaimed, true-crime series, it does rely more on the kind of “staged” conversations that are typical of other cable crime series.


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