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5 Shows After Dark: Are We Sure This is Whedon? I Don't See An Emotionally Damaged Teenage Girl with Magic Powers Anywhere.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | September 24, 2013 | Comments ()


marvels-agents-of-shieldpremiere.jpg

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D on ABC at 8:00pm ET. Series premiere. Hey! Look, it’s this! Joss Whedon fans rejoice! Agent Coulson fans rejoice! Wheeee! Fun for everyone who doesn’t occasionally find Whedon’s work to be a bit too cutesy for their tastes over time! I mean, yay! Captain Mal! Buffyverse! Timey-wimey! Wait, wrong one. Whatever, let’s all put on our Jayne hats, turn on the TV and feel the deep sense comfort that comes with knowing we’re tapped into the hive mind, shall we?

NCIS on CBS at 8:00pm ET. 11th season premiere.

Knife Fight on Esquire at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. The Style Network is no more, it has been replaced by Esquire TV, serving the discerning man who appreciates fine dining, men’s fashion, craft alcohol, and a whole lot of reruns of Burn Notice. I don’t think you have to be a man to enjoy those things, but I guess the good people at Esquire TV know better than I do.

Trophy Wife on ABC at 9:30pm ET. Starring Malin Ackerman and Bradley Whitford, created by the star of the “Target: Women” web-series, Sarah Haskins. Otherwise funny people don’t always create funny television series, but I’m willing to give this one a shot, just because her skewering of yogurt ads was a thing of brilliance.

Sons of Anarchy on FX at 10:00pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess has a permanently stunted sense of whimsy. It’s tragic, really. Also, start taking bets on how long she puts up with styling “S.H.I.E.L.D” that way.



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'The Goldbergs' May Be Fall's Best New Sitcom, While 'The Trophy Wife' Definitely Is Not | Miley Cyrus Actually Says Something Quite Smart Here. No, Seriously.





Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Salieri2

    Hey can we discuss Maria Hill's line "he can never know?" Getting my vote in right now: clone.

  • kinoumenthe

    Also, can we discuss that the mere existence of this line means that he will eventually know, probably during an investigation leading to Shield shady/secret cloning experiment, which episode will eventually show him standing over Original Coulson's body/tissue Sample/unmarked grave, at some point toward the end of the episode ?

    Yeah, I called it.
    If the series is alowed to live that far.

    Please, please, be better than that…

  • Jack London

    Life Model Decoy. (Fancy robot that thinks its people.)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Aaron Schulz

    You forgot to add in the title that she needs a big strong man to save her but its totally feminist guys.

  • fejimanz

    Didn't Esquire take over the G4 network as opposed to the Style network as claimed here?

  • fejimanz

    OH crazy... just read that it is the style network after a change of heart with G4... the things you learn...

  • fejimanz

    Didn't Esquire take over G4 not Style?

  • Zen

    I'm willing to overlook cutesy for the sake of a strong female lead.

  • theotherone

    5 Shows After Dark: Are We Sure This is Whedon? I Don't See An Emotionally Damaged Teenage Girl with Magic Powers Anywhere...

    There are a lot of white people though, so yeah it Whedon.

  • Leland Eidson

    Also the hacker girl is basically magic, she might be just beyond a teen though. But with Whedon getting older maybe he's ended his dance with Pedobear, and traded up to damn near Pedobear.

  • Three_nineteen

    Whedon did exactly one TV show that had underage characters in it, and none of the actors were under 18 (Eliza Dushku barely made it). So what are you talking about?

  • e jerry powell

    STILL very much Pretty White Kids With Problems, and I defy you to find any non-whites.

  • Three_nineteen

    Gunn on Angel
    Zoe on Firefly
    Boyd on Dollhouse (also over 35!)
    Sierra on Dollhouse
    Of course, I wasn't challenging that, I was pushing back on the implication that Whedon has an unhealthy obsession with teenage girls. Accusations like that shouldn't be thrown around lightly, even on the Internet.

    I do agree that Whedon's TV shows (like almost every other TV show) are mostly cast with pretty white people under 35. But SHIELD has Ming-Na Wen, as Kahntahmp pointed out, and not only is she a minority character, she is a female character in the main cast who is 1) over 35 and 2) not "the mom". I think none of the other new shows this year can say that. In fact, I defy you to find any other network TV show with a similar character.

    ETA: took out the word pedophile because I know Whedon isn't literally being accused of that.

  • Three_nineteen

    You know, Sarah Michelle Gellar in "The Crazy Ones" might be. She's 36, and playing "the daughter". It depends in whether the character is the same age the actress is.

  • e jerry powell

    Oddly, J. August Richards has a super-secret role on AOS.

  • Kahntahmp

    -Luke Cage shows up later this season, hence your token a-freaking american Badass.
    -Agent Lee shows up from the get-go.
    -(2 Non-Whites Found, Where's Waldo?)
    -If the girl with magic powers isn't in this season, she'll be there next season or she'll be a mutant. (IT'S MARVEL FOR XAVIER'S SAKE!!!!)
    -Wanna bet on how long it takes for a Stan Lee Cameo?

    I'm here all week. Try the veal and tip the waitress.....

  • TheOriginalMRod

    PHIL!!!

  • Fabius_Maximus
  • jmd

    Uh, his first name is Agent...

  • e jerry powell

    I'm ashamed to say that I must keep my stupidity ratio up this evening or I will be so unbelievably depressed about the whole situation in Nairobi, so it's "The Voice" again for me. Then I get even more mindless with an hour of tape-delayed poker before regaining my brain with the John Stewart.

    In related news, I just applied to be in a clinical trial for a new bipolar medication.

    :-D

  • Blake

    Brooklyn Nine-Nine @ 8:30 ON FOX!

  • competitivenonfiction

    WAIT! Sarah Haskins is involved in Trophy Wife? I loved every single Target Women sketch. I am so much more excited about this show now, though the pilot wasn't exactly perfect.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    I wouldn't consider being run through by a unicorn "cutesy", but what do I know?

  • Thor

    It is, in a way though. But not Etsy cutesy.

  • emmalita

    There is some scary scary stuff on etsy.

  • Thor

    True.

  • Salieri2

    True story: I cannot attend the bachelorette party of one of my bestest buddies, but they will be having, among other things, a penis-shaped pinata. A peñata, if you will. We have been invited to contribute contents.

    ETSY TO THE RESCUE! Hand-knitted, penis-shaped chapstick cozies? Why yes!

  • bastich

    "Who stuck a quart of yogurt in the penata?!?"

  • 'Esquire' always struck me as being basically just 'Maxim' but without the sense of humor.

  • TCH

    I was never able to put my finger on my issue with why I disliked Whedon's work, cutesy describes it.

  • It's because, with every line and quip and quirky character you can hear the self-satisfaction. You can just hear him thinking "I am SO funny". It's self-aware to the most obnoxious degree.

  • Ben

    Wait so is knife fights actually about people having knife fights, or is it just like some cooking show or something?

  • TCH

    Knife fighting chiefs would be entertaining if bloody.

  • e jerry powell

    Especially if they're knife fighting while trying to prep vegetables so it's all about the same knives...

  • bastich

    "Celebrity Chef Veggie Knife-Fighting Cook-Off". I like it!

    ("And Emeril Lagasse takes a shiv in the side from Nigella Lawson while chopping shallots for his Wild Mushroom Pate....")

  • e jerry powell

    Rachael Ray better get eliminated in the first round, or I may be obliged to take matters into my own hands.

  • bastich

    My money is on Giada De Laurentiis. She's small but scrappy, and has a perky pair of distraction techniques.

  • e jerry powell

    There is that. But it looks like Nigella Lawson can hold her own if need be.

    Bourdain might get just drunk enough to fall into a couple of wins completely accidentally.
    ;-)

  • emmalita

    There would be some cross contamination issues.

  • e jerry powell

    That's the fun of it!

  • emmalita

    You have an evil mind. I like that about you.

  • emmalita

    It's a cooking competition, but it would be so much more interesting if it were actual knife fights. Not to the death or anything. This isn't the Spike network.

  • Ben

    well there goes all my interest in it.

  • blacksred

    yup I would have actually watched a show about knife fighting

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