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5 Shows After Dark: Good News: They Salvaged the Shampoo. Bad News: They're Fatally Dumb.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | September 17, 2012 | Comments ()


Revolution5Shows.jpeg

"Bones" on Fox at 8:00pm ET. Eighth season premiere. I'm not sure how much more the writers can pander to the Bones/Booth shippers now that they're living together and have a baby, but I guess we'll find out!

"Hoarders" on A&E at 9:00pm ET.

"The Mob Doctor" on Fox at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere.

"Perception" on TNT at 10:00pm ET. First season finale.

"Revolution" on NBC at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. I mean, we've sort of touched on all the ways that this show is completely dumb already. But to recap: the show's concept involves all electricity powering mechanical devices around the world to fail simultaneously. It does not matter how that electricity is produced, or stored, or whether the device was running off an independent engine not connected to any electrical network at all. 15 years later, no one has picked up a copy of Little House on the Prarie and read about Pa making his own bullets for a gun that he had to pack with powder manually, and so are using swords and crossbows as weapons. Also, people have forgotten about steam power, coal power, water power, and are unable to pick up a book to learn about them or have forgotten that you can find this information out IN books and considered the wealth of all human knowledge lost when they weren't able to access Wikipedia anymore. Frankly, I'm not sure how all of humanity hasn't starved to death if the remaining people are that dumb. "What? There's no grocery stores? HOW WILL WE EAT?!?" And this is even without touching the actual plot which, ugh.

Genevieve Burgess Is thrilled to have worthwhile television to write about again. At least for the moment.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • ,

    The dude wearing the AC/DC shirt is what passes for hip irony, I guess.

    He's been wearing it for 15 years, you say?

    Pee-yew.

  • Quatermain

    "...are unable to pick up a book to learn about them or have forgotten that
    you can find this information out IN books and considered the wealth of
    all human knowledge lost when they weren’t able to access Wikipedia
    anymore."

    Given some of the high school and, sadly, college students I've had to deal with, the above quoted bit is the most believable part of the whole mess.

  • GunNut2600

    If we are talking about a complete technology failure...or a breakdown of society, I fail to understand how writers don't...just look at how African countries have struggled post colonialism. That is the big thing that annoys me is how in these post apocalyptic scenarios, its still integrated. First thing that happens when the lights go off is that people start sharpening the knives. Then everyone huddles up into their own ethnic/tribal groups. I always was annoyed with the "Book of Eli" because the twist would have worked just as well if it was in Spanish. Just show a flashback to Washington teaching a class. Or even better, a Japanese class. Then to drive the point home, show a scene of the preacher dude leading the locals killing off the last of the minorities, damning his plans in the future.

    The other thing that annoys the fuck out of me is that they never show people dying of completely mundane things, that without modern medicine, are deadly. Stuff like lockjaw, rabies, the fucking flu. Hell, waterborne diseases would clear out about 70% of the population within with weeks.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Let's not forget how easy it is to catch dysentery while fording the river.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    One of the things I really enjoyed about The Stand was that King discusses EXACTLY that second point. That a lot of people who lived through Captain Tripps do die of mundane shit like a heart attack, or breaking their leg because no one can come rescue them. I suspect that's why this is set 15 years after the event.

  • GunNut2600

    I fully admit, I have never seen the show...and frankly it's NBC so chances are its never going to be watched by me.

    As an engineer, and a former mechanic in the navy (aka a glorified plumber) it amazes me how little people understand and appreciate modern plumbing. The stark horror of Liberia is perfectly seen in their capital city, where people literally have to shit on the beach which is also one of their their primary food source for the city itself. And ethic ties are all important...sort of like in prison where you have to join a race gang...its not an option. Monrovia is fucking TERRIFYING if you aren't in the protection of the right people. The heat, stench, and filth is just...soul crushing. And nearly a million people call it home.

    Its better now, but there has never been a sci-fi, end of society film that has come close to the pure, day to day, frightening struggle of Monrovia during the first and second Liberian Civil War. Steven King has never written a character as frightening as General Butt Naked.

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist

    This is a great point. I've always enjoyed the "Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" genre of Sci-Fi, but having spent time in the third world, I agree with GunNut here that the whole genre is probably DOA.

    Much of the problems in the third world stem from a weird combination of class issues, ethnicity issues (often tied to class) and religion issues (again, often tied to class), all rolled up in a ball of corruption.

    People in the third world believe things are unlikely to get better for their friends and family (and they are right), but they can be oddly comfortable with that, and even complicit in it.

    Being told that "things can be different" can be incredibly scary for people whose lives are defined in a certain way. The whole "different = better" thing is a shockingly alien/American concept, and I remember meeting with people in real grinding poverty where access to fresh water was viewed with real suspicion by a segment of the village. Even where nothing more than help in digging a deeper well was provided, older folks, and men especially, were somewhere on the angry/scared scale. Doing crazy things like saying their family wouldn't drink that water - even though it was drilled in the same area as their well, using the local folks, and equipment that they themselves operated.

    It was the "differentness" that appalled them.

    There was a great NPR segment on Haiti talking about how much USAID money had been pumped into the economy for decades. They interviewed a local Mango farmer who had been given plastic crates to put her mangos in so that they wouldn't be as bruised up and earn her more money. She didn't use the crates, but she really didn't have a good reason not to. Just that she hadn't before, so therefore she wouldn't now.

    It was clear that she didn't see how the world would ever change for her - she didn't believe it could. Therefore these crates represented something false that should be rejected.

  • Maguita NYC

    Although last season was shitty, I really do hope my Bones comes back with a bang!

    Come on, it's not because the main characters are living together, that the smart ideas about solving murder and the funny interactions should cease!

    I used to love watching this show, my favorite episode is still the one where Dr. Brennan thought a Jersey-Shore-esque reality show was actually a real documentary about an intellectually challenged clan, with heavy homo-erotic tendencies.

  • Quatermain

    Bones has always been one of my favorites, along with NCIS, and that Jersey Shore episode in particular was gold.

  • Miley's Virus

    Just noticed the fat one has on an AC/DC shirt that is at least 15 years old, if not 30 or 40, and still functioning. First, how is he still that fat? The shirt is tight on him, suggesting that he has actually expanded since losing all mechanical help (with the exception, somehow, of pulleys). Did he murder (and presumably, eat) a smaller person and take it? When he removes his jacket is there a visible bloodstain from when he bludgeoned some little guy to death with his otherwise unusable gun?
    Some writer must have gotten a little "I'm so clever" boner at the thought of dressing a guy in an AC/DC shirt in a power-free world.

  • ,

    I see we were thinking along the same lines (see above, or below, or wherever) re the AC/DC shirt, but you elaborated much more eloquently than I did.

    This reminds me that a few years ago I read the Alexander Hamilton bio, and the thing that stuck out most to me and is easy to forget is that in colonial times most people were sick most of the time. The people who could afford it were always abandoning cities like Philadelphia in the summer to wait for the fucking cholera epidemic to burn out. Simple procedures today like giving birth were fraught with peril. There should be a cast member a week dying of some mundane illness or injury.

    On top of that, these people should stink and have terrible teeth.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Soylent Green is twinkies!

  • lowercase_ryan

    don't you dare imply Hostess isn't on the up and up. Do not go there.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Little Debbies, of course, are completely fair game.

  • lowercase_ryan

    ok you can have little debbies, so long as you leave Nutty Bars out of it.

  • Salieri2

    I will tolerate no smack talk about Nutty Bars. In fact, I'm not sure we should even be mentioning them in the same thread as Hostess.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Frozen Nutty Bars are a tasty treat fit for royalty.

  • Jezzer

    Nutty Bars are horrible, and you should feel bad. >:(

  • lowercase_ryan

    I don't even know you anymore. I am disgust.

  • Jezzer

    Mama Geep always said you'd break my heart. :(

  • lowercase_ryan

    HUH? I can't hear you over the crunch of this DELICIOUS NUTTY BAR!!!

  • SLW

    <puts on="" outrageously="" spectacular="" devil's="" advocate="" hat="">

    Perhaps the people are all so stupid because the brain runs on electrical signals. So when all the electricity stopped working, so did their brains.

  • Oh, thank goodness I wasn't the only one who thought about the electrochemical processes in the human body. If every form of electrical energy has ceased to work, they would have stopped breathing in short order. But I guess that was too much "research" for the writers to do.

  • SLW

    Well that HTML auto correct feature is about as intelligent as Revolution's characters.

  • Miley's Virus

    One would think just copying the physics at work in that compound bow alone would be enough to make a good start. I haven't seen the trailer or the show, is there any mention of how the bow "magically" magnifies the power of the bow beyond the strength of the user?

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