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5 Shows After Dark: Not Only is This a Job, It Should Come with Hazard Pay

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 20, 2013 | Comments ()


mariah-careyNickCannon.jpg

“Catfish” on MTV at 10:00pm ET.

“Drunk History” on Comedy Central

“Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Cincinnati Bengals” on HBO at 10:00pm ET. I basically learn enough about football to competently make jokes about it, so if you’ve got any good ones I’d love to hear them. I got a genuine guffaw out of a family member last week when I referred to Gronk as a human labrador retriever, but I’m gonna need new material soon. Besides the one about Tom Brady throwing to himself just like Gisele said he could, cause I’ve got that one down too.

“Heroes of Cosplay” on SyFy at 10:00pm ET.

“Nick Cannon Presents: Wild ‘n Out” on MTV2 at 11:00pm ET. Sometimes I see things like this and think “Why on earth is that happening, do teenagers even watch MTV anymore?” and then I think of my sister (who just turned 18) and start to feel smug that I’m In Touch With the Youngsters and then remember that my sister is just as much of an abnormal teenager as I was. And then I remember that most teenagers were terrible and I don’t want to be in touch with what they like, and felt the same way even when I was a teenager. Anyway, point being that Nick Cannon is still doing things other than being married to Mariah Carrey, which I find impressive because I considered “Mariah Carey’s husband” a legitimate full-time job.

Genevieve Burgess like to exist on the sports periphery where she knows enough to make fun of people, but not enough to be useful at trivia night.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    BABY GLASSES!

  • e jerry powell

    Ask Tommy Mottola about that last bit.

  • Maguita NYC

    Poor Nick Cannon. Love is blind. The things he had done for this woman: I always remember him on his hospital bed suffering from kidney failure, looking in absolute agony, and her posing almost on top of him for the camera. I can't help but admire his patience.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Children in bunny ears: painfully cute.

    Adults in bunny ears: No. Please do not do this unless you are being paid to be in photos with children at the mall.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I dunno, he's really cute in that outfit. Her, not so much.

  • googergieger

    Not those uggo kids.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Dude.

  • googergieger

    Really? One on the right looks like Nicole Kidman's forehead and Lionel Ritchie's hair had a baby. And the one on the left has the old kid disease.

  • DeltaJuliet

    OK so you're an asshole, and yet completely right. Thanks for putting my feelings into words.
    And clearly, I'm an asshole myself.

  • googergieger

    Whale Biologist.

  • Guest

    Or paid to take a very different kind of photos.

  • domytoruluq

    мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт...­ ­ViewMore----------------------...

    Poor Nick Cannon. Love is blind.
    The things he had done for this woman: I always remember him on his
    hospital bed suffering from kidney failure, looking in absolute agony,
    and her posing almost on top of him for the camera. I can't help but
    admire his patience.

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