5 Shows After Dark 8/13/12
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5 Shows After Dark: These People Are Totally Not Glamorizing Combat. Obviously.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 13, 2012 | Comments ()


"Monday Night Football: Preseason: Dallas Cowboys at Oakland Raiders" on ESPN at 8:00pm ET.

"Stars Earn Stripes" on NBC at 8:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is that obnoxious reality series that's been teased all through the Olympics in which some stars (Dean Cain, "The Biggest Loser" trainer Dolvett Quince, former WWE wrestler Eva Torres, Laila Ali, Nick Lachey, Picabo Street, Terry Crews, and Todd Palin) go through simulated military training , and which is already being protested by no less than nine Nobel Peace Laureates. NBC just keeps racking up the failures this year. I'm still holding onto a small amount of hope for "The New Normal" because maybe with three shows to manage, two of which are completely off the rails, Ryan Murphy's tendency towards the crazy will be kept in check.

"The Closer" on TNT at 9:00pm ET. Series finale. And a final overly saccharine "Thank you!" will likely take us out on the trials and tribulations of Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson. The replacement series, "Major Crimes" will begin airing immediately afterwards featuring Mary McDonnell playing basically exactly the same role as Kyra Sedgwick just with a slightly different personality.

"Intervention" on A&E at 9:00pm ET. 13th season premiere.

"Mythbusters" on Discovery at 10:00pm ET. Obviously, we're busting shark myths tonight. Though how there are any shark myths left to bust after the first couple "Shark Week" specials, I have no idea.

Genevieve Burgess is clinging desperately to the life raft that is "Shark Week" until the final summer television doldrums drive her mad.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • BlackRabbit

    Which military branch? And I have a hard time thinking Terry Crews is gonna fail this. I mean, I'm sure he's already had some training, just from doing action movies.

  • Uncle Mikey

    What nonsense. Why not protest shows and movies that glamorize crime? There are thousands, including many Oscar and Emmy winners. Or is it only cool to shit on American soldiers?

  • Snath

    What the hell happened to Dean Cain? He looks bloated.

  • Three_nineteen

    Grimm started its new season tonight. I am happy to report that Captain Renard is still amazingly hot.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Hey, thanks for the heads-up. I would have totally missed that.

  • pumpkin

    "Star" Todd Palin doesn't care. Wasn't he a member of the Alaskan Independent Party? I think he might be gearing up for the revolution (or else he finally jumped on his family fame whore bus...yeah, I"m going with that).

  • CptCrckpot

    Dean Cain? What, were there no SyFy channel movies shooting this week?

  • BlackRabbit

    I always liked him.

  • Yeah, if Lois could get a comeback why not Clark?

  • CptCrckpot

    I like him as well, but his career seems to have been dosed with Kryptonite after Lois & Clark. It seems like every other SyFy channel movie has him in it, and the only other thing he's done that I'm aware of is Ripley's Believe It Or Not. A not so heroic fate for the man who once played Superman.

  • BierceAmbrose

    I, for one, am totally convinced by the objections of Nobel prize winners given their peers - Yasser Arafat, Yitzhak Rabin, Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev, Mohamed Anwar al-Sadat, Menachem Begin, Henry A. Kissinger, Le Duc Tho.

    Plus, of course, the guy awarded the Nobel prize for not being George Bush, which, while admirable, seems rather thin. It's not like GB was going to win another term & continue his warmongering. They could have at least waited until the new guy undid the warmongering(*), like the other folks I listed who range from operatives and generals to assassins and terrorists, that is before they decided to give peace a chance.

    (*) You know, shut down the black prisons & renditions, get out of the two recently-invaded countries, reintroduced rule of law into the prosecution of terror suspects, limit collateral damage from counter-terror operations (vs. declaring anyone in the company of a terrorist is a suspect therefore *not* collateral damage - they have no wives, neighbors, children or puppies apparently), reduce the geographical scope of active combat and walk back the casual affronts to citizens in the US accumulated in the "war on terror."

  • ,

    "anyone in the company of a terrorist is a suspect"

    You must have read the Esquire piece. Next to these guys, Bush/Cheney was a model of restraint.

  • GunNut2600

    While I happily agree that the Nobel Prize is a bit of a joke, especially in the sciences where often times, people are excluded for bullshit reasons, I got to mention that Le Duc Tho refused his prize. I also have to ask...what is your beef with Gorby? You got a problem with Glasnost? Or perhaps it was his refusal to send troops into Poland to crush the Solidarity movement?

  • BierceAmbrose

    I kinda like Gorby. As things went sideways he didn't flail, which is uncommon.

    With him it's more a generic "premiere of the an evil empire" thing, plus, you know, whatever he had to do to get there.

    It's an interesting standard when a guy's peace-monger bona fides include *not* sending the tanks (again) to crush a populist self-government movement (again) in an occupied satellite country. Perhaps we should be building a case for nominating North Korean Kim-the-Younger - "Slightly less murder-y than his dad!" Or Bashar al-Assad, since he's only genociding his own people a little. Plus, you know, Lebanon.

    The point stands - "Nobel Peace Laureats", not so peaceful, not such a compelling credential. They seem to give a lot of Nobel Peace Prizes for horrible people becoming less awful in their dotage.

    Besides, I had to lay out some bait. Reagan, who famously said to Gorby "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall." - that would be about the wall with the kill-zone pointed *in* - was AIR the other half of dialing back the tensions of the cold war in a thing called "Glasnost." I'm thinking The Gipper should have outright invaded Nicaragua vs. on the sly, and done that *first*, then pulled out, that is if he wanted a Nobel Prize for becoming less awful.

    Props to Le Duc Tho, of course. They still awarded it to him, which is the point.

  • GunNut2600

    I tell you this...as bad as you think the Peace prize is, the sciences are more fucked up. Thanks to retarded rules, the number of people who "win" each prize is artificially small. Even the simplest project involves a large number of people and thanks to the rules of the Noble Prize, it turns into a fist fight over who gets nominated.

    Its hilarious that people without the background necessary to understand, get to judge what is the most important discovery in various sciences.

  • no one

    I don't care much for reality TV, but anything that is already being protested by no less than nine Nobel Peace Laureates is definately something I need to check out.

  • War is hell. Hella great TV, amirite?

    Jeez, I hope they all kill each other.

  • blacksred

    Slowly raises hand can someone pinpoint me to the correct definition of "Star" because I have NO clue what it means in context of Dean Cain and Todd Palin?

  • googergieger

    Eve Torres, innit? Think she is still with the company. At least a woman that looks like her that gets in the way of oiled up dudes dry humping each other pops up on the screen every now and again. Not that umm, I watch wrestling. Especially for that reason.


    Yeah stars earn stripes looks stupid. That is my point. Who says it isn't?

  • Genevieve Burgess

    You would be correct. The article where I got the "Eva" spelling is the same one that listed "Terri Crews." You really can't trust anything on the internet anymore.

  • bleujayone

    Do us all a favor, “Stars Earn Stripes”- USE LIVE AMMUNITION!
    And if you feel the need to come back next season, populate it with reality show famewhores from basic cable.

  • ,

    This. I was hoping this was "The Hunger Games: Shooting Stars."

    I prefer my weaponry to be verbal, which is why I watch "Hell's Kitchen" on Mondays. I just wish Ramsey was as creative with his curses as he is with his dishes.

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