5 Shows After Dark 7/9/13

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5 Shows After Dark: Is Making a Drinking Game for This Too Meta?

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 9, 2013 | Comments ()


“Bad Girls All Star Battle” on Oxygen at 8:00pm ET. First season finale.

“Born Schizophrenic: Jani at 10” on TLC at 9:00pm ET. One of the few holdovers of the days when TLC actually aired specials that might actually involve viewers learning something.

“Rizzoli and Isles” on TNT at 9:00pm ET.

“The Summons” on CBS at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. A new crime procedural focusing on the wise-cracking courtroom bailiffs and their interactions with various juries and cases, as well as their personal lives. I’m glad we’re getting some kind of crime drama where we’re unlikely to spend an entire episode watching impossible things happen in a crime lab. I’m sure there will be something else horrible about it. It is on CBS, after all.

“Drunk History” on Comedy Central at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. Based on the popular internet series from “Funny or Die” where history majors consumed large amounts of alcohol and then attempted to explain specific historical events. I do something similar when I get drunk, only instead of “historical events” it’s “copyright law.” This is why I get invited to so many parties.

Genevieve Burgess’s other drunk tricks involve frighteningly in-depth ‘Game of Thrones’ analysis and building towers out of empty glasses and beer bottles. Her appearance fees are surprisingly low.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • e jerry powell

    GB: you also talk about copyright law when you're sober...

  • Genevieve Burgess

    I do, but only when prompted. When I've been drinking I'm much more likely to be like "So you know what pisses me off? Pandora." and then half an hour later I come back to earth to realize everyone around me has the glazed over look of someone who's mentally compiling their grocery list or has excused themselves to get another drink at some point.

  • e jerry powell

    I did that about Philip Glass once at a party, and I had NOTHING to drink.

  • koko temur

    The summons is fake. This game was a great idea, btw!

  • Bodhi

    I've been reading about Jani & her family for a few years now & I am just amazed that the family has remained as intact as it has. I love my child more than I ever thought possible, but I have no clue if I would be that strong in a similar situation.

  • e jerry powell

    I'm only bipolar and my family's just in deep denial.

  • BWeaves

    The Summons is the fake, I think.

    Plus, it's my birthday and I got a jury summons today. Happy birthday to me.

    I'm currently watching Netflix's House of Cards, which darling hubby keeps calling Game of Cards or House of Thrones because he's going through Game of Thrones withdrawal. To get him through, I've invented the House of Cards drinking game. Every time an Apple logo appears on the screen, you down a shot. By the end of the series, you die of alcohol poisoning.

  • e jerry powell

    Guessing would be more difficult if I weren't a Futon Critic addict.

  • emmalita

    "Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, watermelon, watermelon, wa-ter-mel-on, Happy Birthday to you." I hope that was better than The Summons/jury summons.

  • CeciliaBedelia

    Pretty sure "The Summons" is your fake out. Too bad really since I can't recall a noteworthy bailiff since Night Court

  • Bull Shannon FTW

  • Natallica

    Is the guy on the far right Dave Grohl or just somebody who looks uncannily like him?

  • emmalita

    Dave Grohl, for real.

  • Natallica

    Damn, my instinctive and unstoppable desire of having a beer with that guy was right

  • emmalita

    I saw Drunk History: Washington, DC on Hulu after the fireworks on the 4th. Totally fantastic, cannot recommend it highly enough! I particularly enjoyed Adam Scott as John Wilkes Boothe and Saul Goodman, I mean Bob Odenkirk, as Nixon.

  • TCH

    Check out the early eps on youtube.

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