5 Shows After Dark 7/3/13
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5 Shows After Dark: I Blame Portland For This, Because Why Not?

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 3, 2013 | Comments ()


"Big Brother" on CBS at 8:00pm ET.

"Franklin & Bash" on TNT at 9:00pm ET. I'm enjoying TNT's new formula for their series. It appears to be: stars we haven't heard from since the mid to late 90s, the barest whiff of a concept that promises zany hijinks, and an ampersand. Boom! Hit show on TNT!

"Hoosier Daddy?" on A&E at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. A reality series centering around a family-run BBQ restaurant in Indianapolis. The family at the center of this show spouts quips and catchphrases which are totally endearing and not at all the kind of thing that will make you want to take a nail-gun to your own forehead after five minutes. Finger-lickin' good!

"Donut Showdown" on Cooking Channel at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. In case you were wondering what previously delightful food was going to be ruined for you through dumb trends and over-embellishing next, it's donuts. Every decent sized town will open up a minimum of three fancy donut shops of wildly varying quality, and your directionless friends will start talking about opening up a donut bakery even though they've shown no overt interest in making donuts or any baked goods before. We will soon have parties and work events where at least one person will bring a dozen beautifully decorated and bizarrely flavored donuts without taking into account that there are 20 people attending. An acquaintance of yours will get married and have a "donut cake" because they're just so off-beat and quirky! Seriously, check back with me in 18 months or so and let me know how I did. Hopefully, cupcakes will fall far enough back into obscurity that I don't have to worry about biting into a jalapeno in the middle of one, but not quite so far back I can't find ones flavored with salted caramel anymore.

"The Soup" on E at 10:00pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess will be enjoying making you all suspicious and jumpy for the next few weeks.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • ,

    Is it just my dirty mind working OT, or does the one at upper right look like a breast with a nipple and a nipple ring?

    Oh, it's NOT just me? Cool!

  • Alarmjaguar

    I don't understand the problem

  • Hate to tell you this, but here in Austin we've already got it covered.


    (And the "Flying Pig" is a f*cking wonder to behold.)

  • The Replicant Brooke

    Why the hell would you put Fruit Loops on a god damned donut?

  • Maguita NYC

    The same way they put bacon and beer in a goddamn cupcake: To fuck you up!

    Mmmmm, bacon-beer batter.

  • ,

    We just got a Dunkin' Donuts here, after a long hiatus, and I haven't seen this much fuss since Krispy Kreme came to town. (It was exactly like when Chik-fil-a opened and the line was down the block. You'd think people had never seen a chicken sandwich before.) I didn't quite get the uproar; ,daughter lives in Hartford, where there's a Dunkin' on every street corner and one in the middle of the block too, and I don't eat them THERE. Maybe they'd kill for a Krispy Kreme in New England, I don't know ... I DO know the heathens are sadly unfamiliar with the pepperoni roll.

    I was at a wedding three weeks ago where the wedding cake was four tiers of cupcakes with a little bridal cake on the top. I tried one of the cupcakes and couldn't take more than a couple bites, the thing was pure sugar, and not in a good way. The month before, there was a cupcake cake at my nephew's graduation. That's a trend I actually don't mind, as it means you don't have to hunt for a knife, or wait till someone's done using it, or a paper/styrofoam plate, for that matter. Seems a little more environmentally friendly.

  • em.me

    Donut Showdown has been airing in Canada for awhile now, and it's sponsored by Tim Hortons if that helps explain it's existence at all.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Because donuts were not good enough before so we have now slathered them with Fruit Loops.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    That kind of just ruins Fruit Loops and donuts for me. I like them each on their own, but together? No, thank you.

  • kirbyjay

    Do-nuts and froot loops, how incredibly white trash

  • ,

    You'd prefer Lucky Charms?

  • Pat

    I'm going to say Hoosier Daddy is the fake. No way in hell summer tv is that bad.

  • Sara S.

    I'm pretty sure those donuts are from Voodoo Donuts which is in Portland where I live. They're outrageously good but the real challenge of eating them is trying not to throw up after two donuts (or taking a sugar-induced nap).

  • Genevieve Burgess

    (They are Voodoo Donuts. That's what I Googled to get the image, because I was of the understanding that they were the first fancy-ish donut shop out there.)

  • e jerry powell

    I dunno, I always wanted to open a coffeehouse. Not a Starbucks, either, dammit. I'm thinking Fred Astaire in Funny Face coffeehouse.

    I'm guessing TNT thinks their new formula is somehow an improvement on the USA punning formula on similarly structured shows.

  • toblerone

    That photo looks a lot like Voodoo Donuts in Portland.

    Which by the way has challenge I was fortunate or un-fortunate enough to witness last time I was there.

    See the link below (not the attempt I witness which involved the challengee vomiting up most the the donut half way through):


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  • e jerry powell

    Oh, see, I watch too much Travel Channel. I knew it was Voodoo Donuts straightaway.

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