5 Shows After Dark 7/30/13

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5 Shows After Dark: Swoopes Is the Most Perfect Surname for a Basketball Player, Ever.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 30, 2013 | Comments ()


“Nine for IX - Swoopes” on ESPN at 8:00pm ET. A look at the new head coach of Loyola University Chicago’s women’s basketball team.

“Buck Off” on G4 at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. So, you know those “Big Buck Hunter” video game consoles that are popular in dive bars that tend to serve PBR tall boys to guys wearing trucker caps with elaborately groomed mustaches? Well, G4 went and made a competitive reality series out of it. A bunch of dudes who are really good at “Big Buck Hunter” are hitting the woods with actual hunters and actual hunting equipment to test their mettle against the real deal. Will they survive? Absolutely. Will they actually shoot anything? Maybe. Am I slightly uncomfortable with using killing animals as a competitive reality series despite the fact that I am in favor of ethical hunting as a way to deal with the massive deer population in the North East? Totally.

“Capture” on The CW at 9:30pm ET. Series premiere. This is a totally toothless version of the Hunger Games. Contestants live for a month in harsh conditions blah blah “Hunters” blah blah no actual literal danger for anyone.

“Catfish” on MTV at 10:00pm ET.

“Suits” on USA at 10:01pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess Is hitting that point in the summer where she’s losing the ability to think up creative things to say about new reality series.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • ,

    I've tried to lobby my DNR commissioner to propose a resolution allowing people to machine gun deer from the highway.

  • DataAngel

    Calling fake on "Buck Off" too. Now if you'd told me that it was on Spike, I might have a harder time calling it out.

  • Long_Pig_Tailorisnotloggedin

    Buck Off is fake. Or needs to be to maintain my minimal faith in America.

  • googergieger

    Man, this week is way too easy to guess the fake show! Who the fuck has ever heard of women's basketball?

  • Guest

    Okay. Now I must pimp-slap you into a coma..

    Let me put down my bowl of hummus.

  • googergieger

    What? Are you a big fan of two handed chest passes and set shots?

  • e jerry powell

    That sounds like a penis issue.

  • ,

    I like dunks. I can never see enough dunks. There have been thousands and thousands of dunks through history and since MJ called it quits (again, finally) every one of them has looked exactly the same, and I love them all. I love that October through June eight of the 10 SportsCenter Plays of the Day are dunks, because otherwise there might be children who would grow up having never seen a dunk, and I wouldn't want that on my conscience and apparently neither does ESPN. I think there should be a rule change that dunks are the only baskets that count. You should have to dunk your free throws. Throw out overtime and settle tie games with dunk-offs. Every single dunk is the best thing ever. Better than grand slams, better than punt return TDs, better than sudden-death game-winning slapshots, better than goooooooooooooal!

    So yes, fuck chest passes and set shots and passing and back-door cuts and jumpers and all that shit. Please please please more dunks please.

  • googergieger

    Two handed chest passes is passing. Repeat yourself much?

  • If they would send those teams of hunters out to hunt each other, I would be totally down with that.

  • Christian

    Buck Off, DVR is set

  • erich

    God I hope Buck Off is a fake show...

  • e jerry powell

    Dustin will be very unhappy to have missed Anna Kendrick on "So You Think You Can Dance" tonight.

    And I will not be missing Swoopes. Sheryl is my girl, ever since I served her ice cream on the Texas Tech campus during a classical radio fundraiser in 1993.

  • gnibs

    Small correction to the article; Michael Jordan is the best name for a basketball player ever.*

    *According to my shirt, shorts and shoes circa 12 years of age.

  • e jerry powell

    Air Swoopes aren't nearly as expensive, maybe, but they're still pretty expensive since Nike pulled them out of production.

  • Melissa

    Pretty sure Buck Off is fake, since that video game is boring as hell>.>

  • Monica

    Is Buck Off the fake? Because if it isn't, I have a friend who needs to sign up for that pronto.

    Oh, that makes me wonder, does anybody have a friend or acquaintance who made it onto a reality show? Like, I would love to know the story behind that... I don't think I know anyone who would, so I think it would a fascinating story.

  • e jerry powell

    Donnie Brown from "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway."

    I have some friends-of-friends who got on to Drag Race. I sort of consider Willam Belli to be a friend (at least online).

    There are so many reality shows now that I'd have to go through a massive episode guide to make sure.

  • Some Guy

    A girl I grew up with made it on The Apprentice. She made it pretty far, too, if I'm not mistaken.

  • RilesSD

    Catfish is the fake show.

  • Monica


  • e jerry powell

    Double Ha!

  • thedarkisz

    I thought G4 went out of business.

  • Maguita NYC


    As for Swoopes, talk about destiny!

  • syradobomako

    мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт...­ ­ViewMore----------------------...

    Oh, that makes me wonder, does anybody have a friend or acquaintance
    who made it onto a reality show? Like, I would love to know the story
    behind that... I don't think I know anyone who would, so I think it
    would a fascinating story.

  • 'Capture' is exactly the sort of thing the CW would put on, as their target demographic has a lot of overlap with the Hunger Games audience. Also, it's good publicity for the up-coming(?) sequel. I say the buck hunter show is the fake one.

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