5 Shows After Dark 7/24/13
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5 Shows After Dark: This Picture is So '90s It Just Stole My Spice Girls CD and Dr Pepper Lip Smackers

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 24, 2013 | Comments ()


“Royal Pains” on USA at 9 p.m. ET

“Spell-mageddon” on ABC Family at 9 p.m. ET. Series premiere. This is a new “extreme spelling-bee” where the contestants have to spell words while navigating challenges like running an obstacle course, being blasted with cold air, getting strapped to a fork and dipped in a giant pie, or while strobe lights and loud noises are used to try and distract them. Hosted by Alfonso Ribeiro. Anecdote time! When I was a slightly shorter but much lankier version of myself, my dad would tease my brother and I every time we went to Blockbuster that he was going to rent us “That spelling-bee movie.” I can’t tell you how happy it must make him that not only is there a spelling-bee movie now, but also a spelling-bee TV show.

“The Bridge” on FX at 10 p.m. ET

“Joe Rogan Questions Everything” on SyFy at 10 p.m. ET. Series premiere. What I have learned from Joe Rogan and Jenny McCarthy is that if you really nail hosting one awful TV show on a cable network, you never have to look for work again for some reason. There will be someone out there willing to put you on TV again no matter what. Clearly, my professional goals should have been less “graduate degree” and more “farting on TV in a bikini with a questionable dye-job.”

“Camp” on NBC at 10 p.m. ET

Genevieve Burgess would like to pretend she’s above farting on TV in a bikini for a bunch of money, but at this point let’s just say that rates are negotiable.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Bodhi

    Joe Rogan isn't really that bad. Jenny McCarthy, however, is horrible.

    Also, Baby Chris Hardwick!

  • Captain D

    Look, you can hate on Jenny McCarthy all you want. She's already paying dividends for me, however, as my wife has cancelled 'The View' from recording on our DVR before she's even started co-hosting! If we can somehow convince TLC that the show about the Duggars needs some Jenny McCarthy...

  • DataAngel

    You don't know how much I wanted "Spell-mageddon" to be wizards deuling.

  • NateMan

    Fuck Jenny McCarthy. Sorry. I just feel a need to say that any time she's mentioned. But seriously: Fuck that crazy-ass dangerous psycho.

  • Ian Fay

    Somewhere, far away, Chris Hardwick just shuddered in terror.

  • zeke_the_pig

    What the hell's Joe Rogan done that warrants comparison to Jenny 'immunisations? nnnnahhh' McCarthy? As far as I've seen he's only ever espoused vaguely socially libertarian, your-body-is-your-own philosophies. Don't lump him in with McCarthy and her damaging shitgobble-speak.
    ...unless you mean Fear Factor. ...but still...different league

  • e jerry powell

    Joe Rogan is an Alex Jones disciple. If that's not reason enough...

  • zeke_the_pig

    Alex Jones is a cock shock jock whose views on a number of things - though I have reservations about the way they're expressed - align with mine. Or at least they're heading in a similar direction. As a person, probably a complete twat, yeah. But aggregate harm of his dickness must be miles less than McCarthy's misguided crusade.

  • e jerry powell

    You got me there. I have no defense for Jenny McCarthy at all.

  • zeke_the_pig

    What a model for civilised discourse we are

  • koko temur

    Spell-meggedon feels to me like a fake out.. Dont fail me now, drift!

  • e jerry powell

    You're funny.

    Alfonso Ribeiro needs a job too, you know.

  • pumpkin

    The tooth fairy just brought my daughters Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers.

  • BlackRabbit

    It makes me feel old to see something described as being "so 90's."

  • BigBlueKY

    When someone says "the 90's" I still think to myself "oh yeah, that was like ten years ago".. and then I realize it was 20 years ago and I grab my beanie babies and Moon Shoes and silently cry while covering myself in majestic Lisa Frank stickers,

  • Maguita NYC

    I saw a commercial not long ago for a "90s Retro" Album. Freaked the shit out of me. When exactly did my puberty become "retro"?

  • BWeaves

    These are all fake, right ? Please?

  • e jerry powell

    Nope. Nope. Nope.

  • Christian

    Top chef masters, I don't know why but I keep coming back to that damn show

  • melia

    ...baby Chris Hardwick?...

  • lowercase_ryan

    I'm torn, does America care less about correct spelling or more about being on tv?

    I'm saying it's a ratings draw Cotton.

  • Maguita NYC

    I just checked my Disqus and realized my fiancé is following me. I'm gonna start stalking you too then; "Follow" it is.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Full disclosure, I've never followed anyone before (I was saving myself for you, right?) so I have no idea how creepy it is or what it actually means.

  • Maguita NYC

    Don't be nervous, I'm gentle and patient. We'll leave the kink for when you're more at ease with the stalking.

    The "Following" means we'll know where the other is commenting and join in the fun!

    And I rather enjoy your creepiness.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Awww yeah, now it's a party!

  • Welldressed

    This nonsense from the past two days has me shipping you two SO HARD right now.

  • Maguita NYC


  • lowercase_ryan

    That makes two of us ;)

  • That's not fair. Joe's dye-job is far from questionable...

  • baxiwolecexo

    мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт...­ ­ViewMore----------------------...

    Full disclosure, I've never
    followed anyone before (I was saving myself for you, right?) so I have
    no idea how creepy it is or what it actually means.

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