5 Shows After Dark: Family. Duty. Honor. Suits.
“2013 MLB All-Star Game” on Fox at 7:30pm ET.
“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” on The CW at 8:00pm ET. Ninth season premiere.
“Perfect Score” on The CW at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a new dating show where the contestants take personality quizzes to determine their compatibility. They then have to pick who their “perfect match” is, and if they pick the possible match with the highest score they not only win a date, they win money. So now we’re not only exploiting young people’s desire to bone each other for entertainment, but we’re adding cash to the mix in some sort of horrific satire of the current economy. Excellent. Hosted by some woman who was on “The Vampire Diaries” because clearly this is a better use of her time.
“Catering Wars” on Lifetime at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. I mean… the title really says it all, doesn’t it? Or nothing at all, because no one has ever gone to war over catering.
“Suits” on USA at 10:01pm ET. Third season premiere. I saw a promo yesterday where they had completely given up on selling “Suits” on its own merits and were playing up the fact that two actors from “Game of Thrones” are on it as a way to entice new viewers.
Genevieve Burgess will remind you that there is still only one fake show per week. Unfortunately.