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5 Shows After Dark: If There's One Thing Missing in Media, It's the Opinions of Old White Dudes

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 14, 2013 | Comments ()


the-newsroom-season-2.jpg

Last week’s fake show was, as several of you suspected, “The Summons” from Tuesday’s 5 Shows. Well spotted to koko temur, BWeaves, and Silly Cecil! As far as I know, there are no current plans to make any shows about bailiffs, which is a shame as it’s a grossly underexploited area of the legal world in terms of television series. Good luck to everyone this week! And I suspect some of you may be keeping quiet to avoid embarrassment if you guess wrong, but jump on in! Either you’re right and can feel all special or you learn that TV is even more horrible than you’d previously suspected. Win-win!

“Dexter” on Showtime at 9:00pm ET.

“Hillbillies for Hire” on CMT at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is a new series about people name Jeremiah, Big Ox, and Chief, who hire themselves out to ‘hillbilly prank’ unsuspecting people who apparently need much better friends, relatives, or acquaintances. Big Ox and Chief live in a barn. They are based in Florida, because where else would they be?

“True Blood” on HBO at 9:00pm ET.

“The Newsroom” on HBO at 10:00pm ET. Second season premiere. Yay! Aaron Sorkin gets to tell us what Aaron Sorkin thought (and, therefore, what all right-thinking people should think) about major news events from about 18 months ago! I’m stoked, how about you guys? I mean, I’d had some opinions already but clearly I shouldn’t have been so hasty.

“The Venture Brothers” on Adult Swim at 12:00am ET.

Genevieve Burgess is so deep in the lie, even she’s not entirely sure when she’s making things up anymore.



Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Because every time you do an angel does the Paul Rudd dance

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Frank Berrodin

    Wow, Hillbillies for Hire is not a fake show.

  • BWeaves

    Too obvious. I live in Florida. There are no Hillbillies here. Probably because there are no HILLS here. Florida has Crackers, not Hillbillies.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Another reason this weekend sucked: Grown Ups 2 made a shit-load of money.

  • Maguita NYC

    You got what you deserve Mister!

  • lowercase_ryan

    How is this what I deserve? I certainly didn't go see it.

  • Maguita NYC

    YOUR NEWS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF THE WORD ADORKABLE!

  • Anne At Large

    *in best Count Rugen voice*

    Stop Saying That!

  • Quatermain

    I can't wait to see the tasteful and classy way in which 'The Newsroom' handles the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case. Because of course they're going to, that's the sort of thing preachy network dramas live for.

    If it wasn't on CMT, I'd say that 'Hillbillies' is the fake show, but as someone who watches CMT, I have to say that would actually be right in their wheelhouse.

  • sanity fair

    Yes, it sounds like it would belong in their wheelhouse. But since all of the others are pretty well-known to be real, "Hillbillies' is the fake one.

  • DataAngel

    It's not. It's real. I think I'm going to sell my television.

  • sanity fair

    What? Seriously? No, really....

    Seriously?

    Goddammit...

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    You're telling me the Hillbillies show is real. Get out. Seriously, pack your shit and go. I have had enough.

  • e jerry powell

    Really?

    At this point in history, you expect better from MTV Networks?

    I mean, yeah, MTVN keeps The Daily Show on, but they're also responsible for 1g5g and a veritable shitstorm of other reality crap that is hastening the collective North American brain rot. Against all of that, how would Hillbillies make it any worse? It's really just coattailing on the White Trash Chic revival on every other basic cable channel.

    :-D

  • Quatermain

    It's not my fault. I didn't green-light it, hell, I'm not even the one that brought it to your attention. Blame CMT, or Genevieve if you have to. They're the real dirty dawgs here.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    You knew it was real, Mister!!!

    I just fear the people who watch this show. They are probably the same ones who went to see Grown Ups 2 this weekend. So many people. So. Many. People.

  • Gavin Smith

    You know Sorkin can't wait for 18 months to transpire so he can let us know what to think of the Trayvon Martin case.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Hey, quit slagging off old white dudes. They're not all bad.

    Gandalf is an old white dude. And I am always interested in his opinion even if he is fictional (which no one has proven to my satisfaction).

  • Anne At Large

    I like to think that inside he's still Grey.

  • lowercase_ryan

    oh and The Killing is still on.

    Hater.

  • LaineyBobainey

    Clearly you're not a fan of The Newsroom. Or maybe just not a fan of Sorkin. I, however, really dig the show and am looking forward to watching it tonight. Even when Sorkin gets preachy, he still writes dialogue better than most and he finds actors who can deliver it better than most. I'm always impressed with that.

  • pajiba

    TEAM NEWSROOM

  • koko temur

    I'll have you know mister, that i rewatched the first season straight away after your post on WW last week. It indeed made me feel better and inspired and all sorts of other positive feels.

  • koko temur

    seriosly. Hating on sorkin became trendy. Its a lazy argument. Yes, he is working out his issues. What do you people think writing is all about? you DO write about things you have opinions about.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    My frustration doesn't stem from the fact that I think he's a bad writer, but that he lets his own bad habits get in his way. Everything will be ticking along so well and then grind to a screeching halt as he just can't resist having some character or another speak to us with the Voice of Sorkin whether it's in character or not. I don't hate him, I just think he's gotten successful enough that he doesn't have a reason to police himself for bad habits like that anymore and that's a disappointing thing I've seen happen to a lot of writers I enjoy.

  • LaineyBobainey

    I get that. And maybe I've just become too used to it, but I kind of think that The Voice of Sorkin is *always* in character for his characters - that's part of his characters. They're all sanctimonious. They're all preachy. They're all the smartest people in the room. So, I guess when one of them starts speaking in The Voice of Sorkin, I don't really get taken out of the show, I expect it.

    Now, if that was something that annoyed me about him, then I could see where after 4+ shows, that would be SUPER annoying. It doesn't really annoy me, though.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yeah, that's the problem for me. His characters from show to show pretty much sound the same. I want to like the Newsroom, and I like a lot of the performances, and the dialogue is better and certainly more intelligent than most of what's out there. But because it's so ambitious, and because I love Sports Night....I just got bored with Newsroom. I feel that despite all the preachy dialogue I'm rarely encouraged to think about a topic in a new way.

  • lowercase_ryan

    sounds like a fantasy author I know...

  • koko temur

    I understand. But i really do feel people give him more shit because they cant ceparete his writing from his person, which they happen to deslike.

    There are dozens of tv writers you can level the same critisism against but dont get the same level of disdain as he does. Dan harmon has his own distinctive voice, and by a accounts he is also kinda a dick to work for. Palladinno basicly did gilmore girls again in bunheads. Kelly recisicles not only dialouge, but characters and plots FOR YEARS. All shonda rhymes characters speak the same. The wire, parenthood, party down all have distnctive styles of their creators, you will never confuse them for something else.

    I dont mean to be a sorkin appologist, though i do happen to find him very good. I just think that if he was less famous people would be more forgiving, and to me it means its not a very intetesting critism.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    To me, it can be more frustrating with good writers than with bad ones. I watch "Scandal" and yes, all the characters sound the same. But I'm not watching "Scandal" for the amazing writing, I'm watching it because Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn regularly set my TV on fire, and it's the TV equivalent of marshmallow fluff. And I'll go on endlessly about it with my "Game of Thrones" buddies with regards to the books, but I've still read all of them multiple times.

    Basically, I'm not enough of a fan of "The Newsroom" to be patient with it. I understand that's not everyone's opinion. And it shouldn't be! How boring would this be if we all watched the same shows and thought the same things about them?

  • koko temur

    No, we most definately should not! I guess i semiliary held pajiba to higher standart of critique. People frequently say that "he is working out his issues through writing". On other website i wouldnt bother with calling that iffy. your explanation of course is valid and nicely put.

  • Maguita NYC

    BTW Genevieve, please let me apologize for besoiling your thread so smuttily.

  • Anne At Large

    Hummina hummina. I hate that I get to these threads so late. Just saw that movie today and it didn't matter that it was a little bit "meh".

    Cavill Cheekbones 4 Life.

  • Maguita NYC

    Exactly this. The dialogue was so blah, and kind of disappointing, but the Cavill eye candy was worth every penny. Those eyes, that cute smile... That chest!!!

  • Anne At Large

    No kidding. I kind of appreciated that the cast was a little more diverse than your average Marvel superhero movie and there were a couple of badass ladies. But overall, Cavill sold it for me (kept me from dozing off, too).

    Now should I watch the Tudors for him? Or The Immortals?

  • Genevieve Burgess

    I'm fine with any and all coping mechanisms people are using to work through this last week of news. Especially ones that involve delightfully grungy Henry Cavills.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I feel like I really need some Sorkin today.

  • Maguita NYC

    I'm looking forward to The Newsroom. No matter its obnoxious Sorkinism at times, the first season was quite interesting and most characters were taking shape in a way we could relate.

    Also, the show at least ridicules other Old White Dudes telling us what to do. And if anyone has been following the news lately, if you are not white, heterosexual and a dude, the other dudes not only don't take you seriously, they don't even pretend to listen anymore.

  • lowercase_ryan

    seriously, my kind is just the worst. so much ugh.

  • Maguita NYC

    Yeah... Plus, everyone's on edge. Not much good news over the week-end.

    Hey, you know what makes me happy? A silly guffawing full-on chortling joke (f-ck, I know I just over-sold it). Wanna hear one?

    Not waiting for an answer obviously.

    --------------------

    Did you hear, Did you hear?

    There is a new Nasal Viagra on the market!
    ....
    ....
    ....

    Yeah... It's for Dickheads.

    (Crickets)

    I'll go hide my shame in a cool bath now. Naked shame is the worst!

  • Finance_Nerd

    Here are my two impotence jokes:

    Did you hear about the new Viagra that's a soda?
    Mount and Do

    Did you hear about the new cereal for impotent men?
    Nut n Raisin, Honey?

    Sounds like nothing raising - you know it's a good joke when you have to explain it

    (begins to tap dance as hook pulls him off stage)

  • lowercase_ryan

    omg I actually laughed and immediately thought of 3 people I want to hand a bottle of sinus spray to, saying "here, viagra for dickheads"

  • Maguita NYC

    You really are too kind and merciful. For I felt chilling judgmental eyerolls while typing this.

    May I suggest Nasal Viagra Abuser become part of Pajiba Lexicon? I mean, we all at a time or another needed a spray bottle... Or used one.

  • lowercase_ryan

    NVA 4 LYF!!!

  • Maguita NYC

    This must be the new FL licence plate! I hear AZ is fighting for it.

  • lowercase_ryan

    you edited that :p

  • Maguita NYC

    Bah, people on edge... Will stay clear from anything that could be (wrongly) perceived as personal attack.

  • lowercase_ryan

    HAHAHA it could be...

  • emmalita

    I'm proud to be a member of your coven!

  • koko temur

    oh yay! Its been used!

  • Maguita NYC

    Well speak of the devil, she posted same time I did.

    Is the hetero-lesbo-slut coven now in session...

  • koko temur

    Star trek mind melting thingy. True love!

    what are you sluts doing up? Im at school, so its surely very late over there, no?
    And while you are up anyways, can anyone explain to me what is so upsetting to ya'll this weekend? Im not being dismissive, im realy asking. Is it zimmerman thing?

  • e jerry powell

    Speaking for myself, eating a big bowl of white cheddar popcorn and watching SportsCenter. Porn got boring, and I don't need a full meal this late.

  • emmalita

    Zimmerman on top of Texas Republican shenanigans over abortion rights. Basically the same old same old we don't seem to be able to move past.

  • koko temur

    i dont want to send anyone over the edge here, when people feel a little better i would really love for someone to put in simple words for me why the zimmerman thingis extra horrible. I understand why is it horrible, i just dont understand what about it that csused such a gut reaction.

    Not necessarily now, but sometime. Find me, my coven.

  • emmalita

    A lot of the anger is cumulative - this situation has happened before. One commentator said it best I think, "Treyvon Martin was put on trial and convicted of his own murder."

  • Maguita NYC

    Trayvon threw the first punch, he reasoned things like a 17 year old. Zimmerman is a 29 year-old man, a Neighborhood Watcher gone overboard who didn't have what it takes to be a cop. He hunted down and killed a child due to racial profiling plain and simple. Anyone listening to the 911 tape as he was following Trayvon would understand this.

    Also on the tape, Zimmerman was told to stop following Trayvon and let the police handle it. If he had, Trayvon would still be alive.

    If anyone still thinks after considering Zimmerman's past that this is not about black or white (delusion), the simple fact remains that an unarmed teenager was followed by a man who was carrying a weapon. And he was so damn trigger happy, feeding on some residual anger from his past.

    We were all teenagers once, playing cool and being snotty, not following the rules. But like most people we were given the chance to learn from our mistakes and grow. We were never murdered.

    This isn't over. I was so afraid of rioting... The memory of LA burning still gives me chills.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The feds are looking into reopening the hate crime case against Zimmerman, so we'll see how it goes.

    I'm not surprised at the acquittal, based on the letter of the Florda stand your ground law. But it's a ridiculous fucking law that needs to go.

  • Maguita NYC

    Maybe overall it would be best and much more successful that he gets prosecuted for hate crimes on a federal level. Because it is exactly nothing but a hate crime.

    We all know he got away with murder. A gun-loving trigger-happy freak who cannot acculturate himself in a diverse society. Also, people tend to forget what he and his family had done to amass money for his bail as well as his defense. They basically cheated people out of their money. How is he going to pay for his next defense if no one would give him one more penny.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I don't think there will end up being charges, because there is not really a federal crime committed here. But I do think there's going to end up being a civil suit, with payout, a la OJ.

  • Some Guy

    Too bad it wasn't even considered as an excuse by the police. Nor the Zimmerman defense team. You're accusations that the acquittal came down to anything having to do with Stand Your Ground are completely without merit.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Btw, though the defense ddn't use it, it's not completely without merit as the judge's instructions to the jury were: that if Mr. Zimmerman was not “engaged in an unlawful activity and was attacked in any place where he had a right to be, he had no duty to retreat and had the right to stand his ground and meet force with force, including deadly force.”

  • koko temur

    One of these things you can understand from reading news, but not quite feel. Thanks for helping me "get it".

    And to your previous question; im in the last 7 days before the goverment test of korean language. if i will pass it i will start my free masters in september. Ill be spending today by trying memorizing idiotic words like "unhygenic", trying to work them into essay titled "my most treasured possesion" IN FREAKING KOREAN and then waiting till you lovely dirty sluts will rejoin me around 23ish my time.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It's extra upsetting because the killing was essentially legal based on an outrageous Florida law. This Guardian article may articulate it:
    http://pastebin.com/KBFnK9fM

  • Maguita NYC

    I agree.

    Within "the law", no matter how fucked-up, inhumane, and downright misplaced in a civilized 21st century world it might be, Zimmerman was within his rights.

    What was very perplexing however, was the weakness and lack of preparation the prosecution had shown! It is as if Zimmerman's lawyer opening "knock-knock" stupid joke made them more lax thinking it's in the bag.

    But the mustachioed fool won the day for his killer.

  • Some Guy

    Again, Stand Your Ground is different from the use of deadly force for self-defense, the latter which was claimed by Zimmerman, the Sanford PD and the FBI. The defense and police had conclusively proven that Trayvon was on top. George could not escape. Quit spreading false information.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Reading more into the acquittal, I see you are right. Though it does seem possible that Trayvon Martin was technically standing his ground when he was shot in self-defense.

  • Maguita NYC

    Break a leg! Kick some ass!

  • emmalita

    Your hetero-lesbo-slut coven is pulling for you.

  • LaineyBobainey

    (Are you covenaters over on the Pajiba Facebook group? If not, you should be! It's fun over there. Mostly.)

  • koko temur

    Its rather... Snotty towards new people...

  • LaineyBobainey

    The Pajiba facebook group is? I think it goes in spurts. Umm, sometimes it gets SUPER off-topic and gets over-run with posts by just a couple of people. And then other days it's not like that at all. It's weird... I don't know the rhyme or reason behind it, other than maybe slow news day?

    Also, I think some of the snottyness is also sarcasm that doesn't translate well when new people show up, because people who've been around for a while think EVERYONE knows they're kidding and yeah, no, everyone doesn't. (I'm also guilty of this. Sorry.)

    Try it again!

  • Maguita NYC

    My first impression as well, but after getting into Pajiba's rhyme and reason over the past year, I now understand it as "Creative Snark". And I embrace it.

    Also, like with any group, some are less welcoming towards newbies, but are bound to warm up over time. I know many have welcomed me warmly when I first commented on this site!

  • koko temur

    Yeah, i didnt mean it in a terribly negative way. It just feels like there are people who been hanging around for years there. I didnt read the sarcasm as hostile, just rather indifrent towards newcamers. But i definately am there, if ifeeven if mostly lurking. It has the best shares ever.

  • LaineyBobainey

    Peek out and say "hi", if you feel so inclined. @lowercase_ryan:disqus and I won't bite.

  • emmalita

    Well, I like Pajiba on Facebook. Do you mean the Pajiba! group? I didn't see that until just now. A different group?

  • LaineyBobainey

    Yeahyeahyeah, that group!

  • Maguita NYC

    I never noticed that group. Do you have your own coven and burn effigies on the eve of the Sabbath?

    If so, I'm all in.

  • emmalita

    I'm off to join the group.

  • LaineyBobainey

    I think you have to request to join, but it's not a big deal, I can approve you. I HAVE THE POWER!*

    *I think anyone in there has the power, I don't actually know.

  • emmalita

    And I have been admitted to the sanctum (possibly not to the inner sanctum). My profile pic flashes its ovaries and issues a challenge.

  • LaineyBobainey

    I decided that wasn't enough, because I am GREEDY!

  • emmalita

    I have requested to join.

  • Maguita NYC

    The "Mostly" lacks staying conviction.

    Ladies, Gent, obsessive downvoter (or as the Gent @lowercase_ryan says it best, NVA 4 LYFer), time for me to hit the cool sheets.

    Good night all. And Koko, you will do splendidly with flying slutty colors!

  • emmalita

    Buenos noches.

  • Maguita NYC

    Bonne nuit, Oyasuminasai, Jal Ja.

  • koko temur

    Thanks wifey. I honestly hope you would still love me after i get even more stupid in the upcoming 6.5 days. I forgot the word "embessy" yesterday. In english. For like 2 minutes in the middle of conversation i was clicking my fingers and going "its... Emmm... The thing.... Emmm... Institution... Represents the country inside other country.... Used frequently for spying... Emmm". So stupid.

  • Maguita NYC

    Read the economy section before any exam. It works for me whenever I need to write in French. I take the economy section (in French, obviously) a few hours before an exam and start reading. Immersing myself in the vocabulary, the rhythm of syntax, etc.

    Works every time!

  • koko temur

    Oh, you guys.... *tattoes "coven 4 life" across the chest*

  • Maguita NYC

    PLEASE DO NOT TATTOO HETERO-LESBO-SLUT ACROSS YOUR CHEST!

    That only goes on your ass missy :p

  • koko temur

    I already have "airforce officers do it right" over there. I guess we can cross it and write coven above that, for that classy look.

  • emmalita

    very classy!

  • Maguita NYC

    *Puffs chest. Isn't my wifey all class?

    No, I'm asking you people: What class is my wife?

  • emmalita

    A class of her own, of course.

  • Maguita NYC

    So... Your most treasured possession is unhygenic.

    You are a dirty-dirty slut!

  • lowercase_ryan

    This!!! So much Texas, so much Florida, sooooooooooooo much hate.

  • Maguita NYC

    Also, the overall tone of some of the threads put people on edge, and you can feel it in the comments.

    But we'll get over it. As we always do. Dirty jokes always do the trick.

    So, what's on the agenda tonight/tomorrow's-today (for Koko).

  • koko temur

    I have seen monday. It sucks. Stay in bed, people.

  • emmalita

    blerg! I'm going to watch Dhoom 1

  • emmalita

    Dirty jokes are the best. Why don't I know any dirty jokes? I need to go learn some now.

  • BlackRabbit

    A man into a bar and sees a sign that reads, "Cheese sandwich $3.50.
    Chicken sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5." He checks his wallet and calls over
    the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?"
    She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am."
    He says, "Well, wash your friggin' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."

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