5 Shows After Dark: She Wears Falafel Well, But She Can't Dance for Beans
"Rizzoli and Isles" on TNT at 9:00pm ET. Fourth season premiere.
"Catfish" on MTV at 10:00pm ET. I had thought that this phenomena would start dying out once Skype became widely available. But apparently I was wrong. I mean, with Skype you can still lie about a whole lot of shit, but at the very least you can't be like "Oh, I'm totally a hot, 22 year old (insert desired gender here)" when you're clearly not. It would have saved Manti Te'o a lot of frustration, that's for damn sure. Also that professor who got busted on drug trafficking charges because he had to take a suitcase to his international swimsuit model "girlfriend." So on the terrifying chance that any youngsters are reading this: they're not real until you see them on Skype or some other video chat service. Not Snapchat. I had internet friends before you were using the internet. (Or even born, depending on how old you are.) (Jesus, I need to take a moment.) (When I was your age, we had to listen to a modem have sex with a landline before we could check our email.)
"I Hate My Yard" on DIY at 10:00pm ET. They really should merge this, HGTV, and Cooking Channel into a mega-channel called "First World Problems."
"Perception" on TNT at 10:00pm ET. Second season premiere. I caught the seminal Rachel Leigh Cook feature, She's All That, the other day and my favorite part was the fact that Ms.Cook was so terrible at dancing that the entire "Rockafeller Skank" prom dance-feature was basically choreographed to keep her off camera. Star of the movie, central character of the story, headlined with Freddie Prinze Jr., but she's not in the main dance sequence. Seriously, look it up on YouTube and try to find her. It's HILARIOUS.
Genevieve Burgess would have voted for Laney Boggs as prom queen all the way back in 1999 just for her blowing out Paul Walker's ear drums.