5 Shows After Dark: A Disturbing Glimpse Into the Evil Miami Heat Locker Room

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | June 18, 2013 | Comments ()


"National Geographic Special: Sex: How it Works" on National Geographic Channel at 8:00pm ET. That's odd, I wonder why they're airing a special like this. Seems a little basic for the NGC since most of the highlights can be explained with breakfast pastries, crude drawings, or whatever other objects you'd like to ruin for your children forever. Bonus! Having a frank and honest sex-talk with kids is probably the best way to put them off it until their late teen years at least.

"So You Think You Can Dance" on Fox at 8:00pm ET.

"NBA Finals: Game 6" on ABC at 9:00pm ET. The Spurs could take it all tonight, but my particular NBA fixing theory is that the games aren't fixed to favor the Heat, they're fixed to favor a full seven game series so the NBA can squeeze every last cent out of advertising and promotion. If the Spurs win tonight I'll be proven wrong. As will all the Heat conspiracists. Just kidding! No one will ever talk them down off that ledge.

"Hardcore Pawn" on TruTV at 9:30pm ET. First season summer premiere.

"My Teen is Pregnant and So Am I" on TLC at 10:00pm ET. You know, all of a sudden that National Geographic Special is starting to make a lot more sense. Perhaps it should actually be required viewing for anyone who's been on an MTV or TLC reality series.

Genevieve Burgess is pretty sure Lebron James is not smart enough to be anything more than a cog in the conspiracies of others.

Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Because every time you do an angel does the Paul Rudd dance

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned

  • googergieger

    Yup. Told you guys they wouldn't let Spurs win this one in OT. They didn't give them a chance in regulation but cancelling their fast break opportunity. Then just let Ginobli get hammered in OT. Hope they have a fair shot in game seven. I won't be watching. In fact, think I'll just boycott every Miami Cheat game from now on.

  • Philapeno Jackson

    You fuckers really going to complain about fouls? SA made as many foul shots has Miami attempted. Your team got beat because because they were out shot. Your team lost becaues Miami beat them in all the statistical categories that matter. FG%, 3 pointers, assist, steals and blocks. Numbers don't lie.:)

  • googergieger

    I have no dog in this fight bandwagon. My team is Denver. Spurs were dominating through three quarters, and then Miami was allowed to foul. At the end of OT, Spurs got fouled twice something obvious. Refs didn't call it. Name of the game is consistency. Refs aren't consistent when it comes to Miami. Miami is allowed to play bad and stay in games, where as other teams have to play damn near perfect against them to compete. There is a reason the league is all but acknowledging a majority of NBA fans thinking something is up when it comes to Miami. A reason they added a retired ref to the broadcast. Wise up bandwagon. No problem if you like to root for a manufactured "elite" team that brings the "sports entertainment" and is the next nail in coffin of the "sport". Just means you bring nothing to the table when it comes to, well, probably anything.

  • Wembley

    Ooh. Very dramatic. The NBA scriptwriter should win an Emmy.

  • Wembley

    Favorite line "Well, of course, that's a foul in the first 46 minutes..."

  • googergieger

    Welp, Miami put in the penalty immediately. Meaning Spurs can't play any sort of aggressive D. Now Miami is back in a game Spurs were on their way to blowing out. Sure, the refs/NBA has no agenda.

  • googergieger

    Now refs decide to call the shit on both sides, and we see how outclassed Miami is. My theory? Tim Duncan and Pop are still mad about last year when they got screwed against OKC. And since the Bulls/Pacers series with Miami were constantly being talked about because of the one side officiating via twitter and such, the finals are under that big a microscope. Not to mention this is Duncan and Pop's possible last year.

  • googergieger

    Unfortunately Miami made it a game again, and the refs decided to let them get away with fouling. So many noncalls. Obvious fouls none the less. Hope Spurs have a fair shot in game seven. Which they probably won't. Oh and Pop played Splitter way too much. He has been useless this series and is just hurting the team. Still, tough to beat a team that is just allowed to foul for stretches.

  • e jerry powell

    I turned the sound off, so your play-by-play is actually helping.

    How long was that scoreless stretch of defensive stops before they broke 90?

  • googergieger

    No idea. I tune in and out when the refs put the Heat on manufactured runs. Miami did hit two clean buckets to force over time though. Unfortunately the refs stopped San Antonio from pushing the ball and totally let Miami set their defense. Pop had every right to be angry and tell them they couldn't do that. Spurs are going to be given no chance in over time.

  • e jerry powell

    I blame the commish. He's still pissed that the Heat fans didn't get a real game back in the regular season.

  • googergieger

    Fix has been in since last year. When Wade didn't get suspended for his tackle on Collison despite Jason Smith being suspended multiple games in the regular season for the exact same type of hit on Blake Griffin. The no call against Boston when Wade hit Rondo in the face and then kicked his leg out on the other end and got the and one? The multiple fouls on Durant by James that weren't called in game two? And while these are isolated incidents(though no excuse for not suspending Wade), the bottom line is Miami plays under a different set of rules. They are allowed to get away with more fouls than any other team in the league, and other teams aren't allowed to defend them one on one, without getting in foul trouble. The east is a joke of a conference, and even so Miami still needed a lot of help to make it out of there. There is a reason Thibs and company spoke up during the Chicago series. There is a reason trending worldwide are always the names of the refs during a Miami game. Heck tonight "this game is fixed" was trending worldwide. Fuck they had to get a retired ref for the finals to act like everything is on the up and up. End of the day Miami is an above average team manufactured to look elite, lead by their manufactured elite superstar, that quite frankly is probably just a really good player.

  • e jerry powell

    All true, but didn't they used to say the same kinds of things about the Lakers?

    I think that there's all manner of engineering that goes on at the level of, oh, PRO WRESTLING.

  • googergieger

    Well true Kings, Portland, and NBA fans in general are still saying that about the Lakers. At least those teams that were given the titles. Truth be told, the NBA is the one sport where officiating plays the most crucial part, and it is also the least transparent out of all of the sports, and the least one likely to adapt with the times. Took forever to allow any sort of instant replay rulings to it for instance.

  • e jerry powell

    Yup. At least the MLB admits when umps fuck it up. They don't change the rulings, of course, but the umps have the decency to feel bad about it, even if they can't fall on their own swords.

  • googergieger

    And now horrible shot selection by Parker and horrible and one opportunity by Ginobli.

  • googergieger

    Parker has been pretty horrible this game in general honestly. I mean Splittler and Ginobli shouldn't have played as much as they did, but Parker has been stupid on offense and lazy on defense. Some tough shots from him but Spurs need smart, fundamental, and effort. Still don't think they'll be given a chance to win this in OT.

  • googergieger

    Lebron James went an entire month in the NBA without being called for one foul.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    Kevin Nash has gone 11 games without having a single foul called on him. But I guess it doesn't matter if the team's losing.

  • googergieger

    Get da fuck outta here?! Big daddy cool has never had an NBA foul called on him?! I mean makes sense. He's a wrestler and all, but still. Cool trivia.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    You got me, Steve Nash. Although I'm pretty sure Kevin Nash doesn't have any NBA fouls at all.

  • googergieger

    Oh right. Steve Nash. That known aggressive defender that is constantly draped over opponents and running into defenders looking to finish strong at the rim. How on earth did that mountain of a man ever go eleven games without committing a foul. And how did meek and mild, and known poor defender that avoids any and all contact on both sides of the floor, Lebron James get roped into all of this!

  • e jerry powell

    It sounds a little gay when you put it like that, so don't let Steve's ex-wife hear you. The last thing that woman needs is more fuel.

  • John W

    I don't think your fixing theory will be proven wrong.

  • Fredo

    Nor do I. Thursday night for all the marbles.

  • e jerry powell

    Don't put money on it yet...

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