5 Shows After Dark 3/19/13
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5 Shows After Dark: They Definitely Made a Splash with This Photoshop Disaster

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 19, 2013 | Comments ()


"Splash" on ABC at 8:00pm ET. Series premiere. A new competitive reality series where minor celebrities who presumably couldn't land a safer option hurl themselves off a 10M high diving platform or springboard. This particular collection of "celebrities" features an even lower name recognition percentage than most of these shows, but we still have a few. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Louie Anderson, Chuy Bravo, Ndamukong Suh, and Kendra Wilkinson are the ones I can identify without the help of their bios. They'll be coached by Greg Louganis and judged by David Boudia and USA Dive Team director Steve Foley. The potential for disaster is incredibly high, as Mr.Louganis is personally aware, so I'm a little bewildered that when someone went to him and said "We've got a bunch of amateurs and we'd like you to teach them how to hurl themselves into the water from 30 feet in the air in a very short, television friendly period of time" he was like "Sign me up!" But I guess being an aging diving star probably doesn't pay particularly well.

"19 Kids & Counting: Duggars Do Asia" on TLC at 9:00pm ET. This week, the pack heads to Kyoto, Japan.

"Twisted" on ABC Family at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. This show centers around a boy who murdered his aunt when he was 11 and has now, at 16, been released and is trying to put his life back together. Featuring Denise Richards as the boy's mother.

"Cougar Town" on TBS at 10:00pm ET.

"Justified" on FX at 10:00pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess probably couldn't teach celebrities how to tie their shoes.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • willa

    i'm really worried someone is going to die on the splash show. I watched the olympics one year and a diver broke a pretty serious blood vessel in their leg practicing right before the game.

  • dizzylucy

    I won't even get into the very existence of the show, but I'm baffled they had to do a photoshop collage of the "cast" - they couldn't get them all together in one shot? Clearly these people have NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

  • sailboat

    Justified just melted my tits off.

    This show, this fucking show. SO GOOD #yolo

  • Drake

    Didn't get to watch last night. Almost took a sick day to stay home from work and do it today.

  • sailboat

    prepare to have the best night ever on a couch.

  • logan

    You cant watch the Duggars breed and make fun of Swamp People. : )

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    There does not exist an excuse for not calling that show "Falling Stars." None. That is its rightful name; Elodin will back me up.

    Bonus points to the people who got that reference.

  • e jerry powell

    Greg Louganis. Aging diver/coach, inspiration to Mario Lopez (!) and Michael Fassbaender, and, sadly, punching bag for/rape victim of despicable gay douchefaces. His third act will be pretty freakin' awesome, though.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    University of Miami has little murals dedicated to their famous swimmers and divers on the wall around the outside pool there. His is the best.

  • googergieger

    You know how people often give a really bad idea that has no chance of being approved and then follow it up with what they really wanted to do, so the thing they really wanted to do looks better by comparison?

    I think Splash was that really horrible idea, some executive just approved without giving the guy a chance to pitch what he really wanted to make.

    Also this country is fucking stupid.

  • Slash

    Other countries have stupid TV, too. I'm still waiting for someone to greenlight "Ow My Balls" for real.

    I guess America's "Funniest" Home Videos is pretty close, but it has stuff in it that ISN'T balls being pummeled, so it doesn't count.

  • Slash

    I don't know how to render in print that half defeated, half disgusted noise you make to yourself when you encounter something so dumb and yet so inevitably popular that you know there's no point in being outraged about it.

    Is there an emoticon for that? Weary disgust?

    OTOH, the actual news is so goddam appalling and depressing a lot of the time, I guess I can't blame people too much for indulging in pointless faux celebrity dumbassery ...

  • Drake

    I had to go verify that "Splash" is a real thing. I could not believe it was true.

  • Drake

    Also, Drake Bell still looks pretty good. Couldn't he make a living doing something more respectable, like selling it on Santa Monica?

  • TSF

    That header pic is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    It bad touched something visual, I just don't know what. Like, I haven't had enough art or photography classes to know where to point on the doll.

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