5 Shows After Dark 3/18/13
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5 Shows After Dark: Some Contestants Have Experience Doing Stupid Dances in Front of Large Crowds

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 18, 2013 | Comments ()


"The Biggest Loser" on NBC at 8:00pm ET. 14th season finale.

"Dancing With the Stars" on ABC at 8:00pm ET. 16th season premiere. Just so you're passingly informed when people inevitably try to engage you in conversation about this show, the big "stars" this go around are Andy Dick, Dorothy Hamill, D.L Hughley, Jacoby Jones, Wynonna Judd, Victor Ortiz, and Alexandra Raisman. Then you've got your standard handful of reality starts and a Disney Channel star for good measure. Also, they've added contemporary and jazz dances to the show, so if you've ever wanted to watch an NFL wide receiver roll around on the floor in a leotard while a plaintive female voice warbles in the background, this could be your season.

"American Winter" on HBO at 9:00pm ET. This is a documentary centered around eight families in the Portland, Oregon area who are struggling with unemployment or underemployment. It sounds like it will be either thoroughly depressing or terrifyingly familiar.

"RuPaul's Drag Race" on Logo at 9:00pm ET.

"Bates Motel" on A&E at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. The Oedipal complex comes to cable!

Genevieve Burgess sincerely believes that contemporary dance should only be attempted by professionals, and even then it's a risky proposition.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Three_nineteen

    So you didn't watch Donald Driver (just retired from the Green Bay Packers) win last season?

  • toblerone

    Jane Campion’s Top of the Lake on Sundance at 9 p.m.

  • e jerry powell

    Now you're talking. This we can make happen.
    Right after I whip my hair. Drag Queens are Always First.

  • MikeRoorda

    I can't wait until someone Phil Hartmans Andy Dick.

  • e jerry powell

    Not so much Phil Hartman as Brynn Hartman, but that's a picky detail.

  • googergieger

    *Reads header*

    Kate Holmes is going to do Dancing With The Stars?

  • e jerry powell

    No, she has too much loyalty to Nigel Lythgoe (she's on the board at Dizzyfeet foundation; though now that I think about it, so is Carrie-Ann Inaba).

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    The first ep of Bates Motel was pretty promising. I'm seriously hoping it continues to be as good, since if it does, it will fill both the Dexter and Breaking Bad-sized holes that will be in my TV viewing life very soon.

  • e jerry powell

    I have no interest in seeing untrained dancers working in Graham technique, Limon technique, Luigi technique, Horton technique, or Dunham technique. They should leave that stuff to the serious professionals and keep the dog-and-pony show limited to ballroom styles. The expansion of the styles is so DWTS can try to compete at the Emmys with a broader base of choreographers, and the only other person in the world who cares is Nigel Lythgoe, who really needs to retire before his face slides off.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    Shit, it's hard enough to teach most people the proper Macarena technique, the only reason to go more advanced than "standard ballroom" is because they enjoy watching people suffer. And I'm speaking here of the dancers and the viewers.

  • e jerry powell

    So much masochism in the world...

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