5 Shows After Dark 2/19/13

5 Shows After Dark: Is It a Dark Wash Jeans Cult or a Standing Awkwardly Cult?

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | February 19, 2013 | Comments ()

“Cult” on The CW at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. So I guess cults are the hot new thing this season? We’ve worn out forensics, serial killers are so passe that even the serial killer shows aren’t doing proper serial killer plotlines for the most part, and quirky buddy cop shows don’t seem to be money makers. Starring Matthew Davis and Jessica Lucas, both known for their roles on other CW shows.

“Body of Proof” on ABC at 10:00pm ET. Third season premiere. Oh, sorry, I left “gorgeous but socially awkward morticians/forensic anthropologists” out of my crime drama stereotype round up. It seems we’ve got a few too many of those running around these days too.

“Cougar Town” on TBS at 10:00pm ET.

“Double Divas” on Lifetime at 10:00pm ET. This has been on for a little while, but mostly it irks me because there’s this whole mythology that’s sprung up around bra fittings in the last few years. Obviously if you are a heavy chested woman, having a properly fitted bra is essential, but all of the tips and trick to discover your “true size” are absurd. I doubt any woman is one universal bra size just like no woman is one universal pants size. The style, manufacturer’s standards, and other factors play into this so you can’t just waltz into any store, find your magic bra number, and waltz out with a bra that’s going to make you feel like a new woman. Second of all, it’s inspired the teenagers working at Victoria’s Secret to assault me with tape measures on several shopping trips and every time they tell me a size that bears no relation to what actually fits me. And before anyone lectures me on shopping at Victoria’s Secret: You take care of your ladies how you see fit and I’ll do the same with mine. Anyway. I’m sure the women on this show are lovely and helpful, but I am skeptical of how “life changing” a bra can be unless you’re dealing with actual back and shoulder problems already.

“Justified” on FX at 10:00pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess would very much like it if you bought her book. Please?

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Homestar

I haven't seen "Double Divas," but you're exactly right. I'm a different size in all three of my favorite brands. And bras of the same size and brand that are different styles don't all miraculously fit either. BUT! Getting fitted by a Nordstrom sales lady in my mid-20s actually did change my life. I was wearing the complete wrong size. Shirts suddenly looked good instead of like ill-fitting bags. The pain in my shoulders and upper back went away. And I'm not even that big (too big for Victoria's Secret, though).

Top Chef Master

Hey, that's the dude from the final season of Heroes

Blake

Raising Hope / New Girl Starting @ 8:00 on FOX.

Rocabarra

WHICH OF THESE SHOWS STARS MY BELOVED T-BAG FROM PRISON BREAK!?! That Robert Knepper is so charming, I would watch him in anything!

(I would assume "Cult" but I don't know who the other two named actors are and don't recognize anyone else in the photo)

Genevieve Burgess

Yup, it's "Cult". He's listed as being in 12 episodes, so I'm not sure if he shows up in the pilot or was added after it was picked up but he's definitely involved.

Mr_Zito

I have no idea how T-Bag became something of a sex symbol, but this guy keeps showing up in crappier and crappier shows

katie71483

I'm gonna say no to Cult. I tried it on Hulu and just felt monumentally confused. This makes me sad, because I really like Matt Davis. Guess it's time to watch some early #TVD...

F'mal DeHyde

Yeah, I didn't really get it either but I'm intrigued (and masochistic) enough to try another episode or two.

e jerry powell

Apparently it's a come-fuck-me-pump kind of cult. LOOK AT THOSE SHOES.

JoannaRobinson

ALARIC NOOOOOOOOOOO

KC

I miss Alaric. And Cult was....meh. I think this Jessica Lucas girl is pretty but all she did was stare WIDE EYED in like....awe or shock or something throughout most of the show. M Davis was fine, but I couldn't help noticing that they jumped on the "The cult is actually a cult!!!" bandwagon really quickly. WTF

zyzzyva

So this is why Ghost Alaric still hasn't shown up, despite him being perfect for Jeremy to call upon for hunter advice... I mean come on!

Long_Pig_Tailor

Have you seen it? If I have ever been right about the fate of any show in my life, Cult is going to die a quick midseason death. So next season VD can bring in a zombie Alaric and they can capitalize on what I anticipate will be the new hot trend in horrormance-- zombie fucking. Warm Bodies was just the beginning of this juggernaut.

I figure, no later than next April, a pancake make-up'd pornographic actor will be shambling around an anonymous LA mansion moaning, "BOOOoooooooobs...." and cornering starlets. And Frankenstein will get rebooted as a sexy, sexy romance starring a woman as Dr. Frankenstein (which will be a good thing because science ladies, but a bad thing because science ladies only for love and/or sex) and Matt Smith as the Monster.

Seriously, all Hollywood (or, you know, I'm not picky, the Valley) has to do is ask, I will make the zombies the next sexy monster trend.

alwaysanswerb

So, this is what Alaric has gotten up to in the afterlife

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5 Shows After Dark: Is It a Dark Wash Jeans Cult or a Standing Awkwardly Cult?