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5 Shows After Dark: "Yay! We're Jumping!" Is All I Think When I See Photos Like This.

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | October 6, 2013 | Comments ()


alaskan-women-looking-for-love.jpg

Sunday Night Football: Houston Texans at San Francisco 49ers on NBC at 8:20pm ET. I think the Texans have the most ridiculous name in football, but I’m not 100% certain. I am interested in debate on this topic, so feel free to throw in your picks in the comments. I will also open this up to the global definition of football rather than restricting it to North American hand-egg football. I will limit it to professional tier, though, as college and university teams seem to take a special pride in having ridiculous names.

Boardwalk Empire on HBO at 9:00pm ET.

Homeland on Showtime at 9:00pm ET.

Alaskan Women Looking for Love on TLC at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. Good to see that TLC is still pursuing the kind of high-quality, educational content one would expect from a channel called “The Learning Channel.” I’m sure this program will teach us a lot about the Alaskan social structure, how it impacts common cultural activities like dating, and what we can surmise from this example about the power balance in romantic interactions when dealing with heavily skewed gender demographics. Oh, wait, I mean the opposite of that.

Masters of Sex on Showtime at 10:00pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess knows from ridiculous university mascots as she didn’t become a Gamecock so she could instead be a Hurricane, and be represented by something we call an ibis even though it is clearly a person in a duck costume.







Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Rebecca

    For an excellent school, my alma mater has some weird-ass traditions. We are the Ephs (long E, short for Ephraim Williams, the founder) and the mascot is the Purple Cow.

  • Babs

    My alma mater are the Beavers. And if you were female, like myself, you were a Lady Beaver. Redundant.

  • Bert_McGurt

    The soon-to-be-reconstituted Ottawa CFL team (they begin play in 2014) is to be named the RedBlacks. Previously they were the Renegades, and before that, the Rough Riders, which made it slightly confusing when they played Saskatchewan, who are ALSO named the Roughriders (one word though).

    But yeah, RedBlacks. I think we've found our ridiculous name winner.

  • BWeaves

    My high school was the Osceola Kowboys.

    1. Osceola was a Native American chief.
    2. The school was still being attacked by "indians" in the early days, so the school decided they didn't want their mascot to be an indian.
    3. There were a lot of cattle ranches in the area, so they decided they wanted to be cowboys.
    4. The school is in Kissimmee, Florida, so they decided to spell cowboy with a K.
    5. There's a Native American on my school ring.
    6. None of this makes any sense, and never did.

  • BlackRabbit

    We were the "Green Terror." Couldn't even think of a good name OR mascot.

  • John W

    Caption: Superman's 6 illegitimate daughters decide to meet at the local wharf.

  • Most ridiculous college football team name: The University of Hawaii Rainbows. You know how every so often you run across a kid's name and it's such that it would have been more honest if the parents had just named the child 'Makefunofme' and been done with it? It's the same thing here.

    Honorable Mention: Nittany Lions. Spell Check doesn't even recognize 'Nittany' as a word. Get your shit together, Penn State.

    Most ridiculous professional football team name: Minnesota Vikings. Alright, so it's not so much a ridiculous name as it is a ridiculous team attached to the name, but guilty by association.

    Honorable Mention: Cleveland Browns. I'd have shied away from naming my team something reminiscent of an intestinal disaster. If only because the Brown's general quality of play tends to reflect their name.

  • Dragonchild

    Actually it's worse than you think. The Cleveland Browns were named after a person, Paul Brown. Not the owner's name (Brown was a coach), at least, but still absurdly dumb.

  • emmalita

    The mascot of my alma mater was an intersection - the Gorelocks. An intersection of two suburban streets. We should have been the Nuns in honor of the school's history as a catholic women's college. The nuns were much scarier that the fictitious creature called the Gorelock.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Hey, my alma mater has the team name "Saxons" and just got (for the first time) a mascot, L'il Alf (also the name of our cafe?). It's a weird little school.

  • Blake

    Bob's Burgers @ 8:30 on Fox!

  • PDamian

    I assume Alaskan Women is the feminine version of the magazine Alaska Men (http://www.alaskamen.com/). I remember seeing the print magazine back when I was in college in the 1980s. The slogan was, "Where the odds are good, but the goods are odd." This can only end badly ...

    I've always thought that keeping the original names of teams after they leave their original state is somewhat ridiculous. Do you think of jazz when you think of Utah? The New Orleans Jazz should have become the Utah Pioneers or something. I'm hoping the Marlins get sold to someone in a Midwestern state, just for the pleasure of reading about a team based in a landlocked state named after a sea sport fish. Nebraska Marlins, anyone?

    I know Genevieve's looking for pro teams, but my all-time faves are the University of Northern Colorado's intramural basketball team, the Fighting Whites, also known as the Fighting Whities (http://www.cafepress.com/fight.... Remember, "Every thang's gonna be all white!"

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