free counter with statistics 2009 Academy Awards Open Thread | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Miscellaneous | February 22, 2009 | Comments (564)

You know how this works, by now. Watch the show. Chat amongst yourselves. Try not to make a mess of the place. And, since we’re posting this a few hours before the show, you folks can post your predictions on the major categories, and compare them with what the hacks in the Academy come up with. For the sake of time and space, limit predicks to: Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, and Screenplays (adapted and original).

As for the drinking component: A shot if Jackman takes off his shirt, a drink every time the music plays someone off stage, another shot if someone cries, three shots if Joaquin Phoenix appears on camera, and a pint of your favorite whiskey if The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins in any of the major categories. The first to pass out wins at life.

Kvetch away, folks.


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Comments

FIRST!

Posted by: Katheryn at February 22, 2009 5:05 PM

I've printed out the leaked list and now you've posted the rules, I'm off to purchase alcoholic beverages.

How many shots again if the leaked winners actually win?

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 5:07 PM

I've printed out the leaked winners list and now you've posted the rules, I'm off to purchase alcoholic beverages.

How many shots again if the leaked winners actually win?

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 5:08 PM

PENIS!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 5:08 PM

Apologies for the double post.
Was attempting a last minute edit and failed.

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 5:10 PM

I tried to tell all my friends that Phil Mickelson was going to choke and he's doing it as always.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 5:11 PM

PENIS!

Jackman's or your own?

My prediction:

- Ledger wins because dead people are popular.

- The Academy continues to mouth fuck common sense.

Bring on the drinkin'

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 5:12 PM

Predictions???

I don't care who wins.
My only prediction is that before the last naked golden man is handed out, I shall be happily blind sodding drunk.

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 5:16 PM

I was watching the news and I saw those kids from "Slumdog Millionaire" came over to go to the awards show. I'm wondering if its inappropriate to ask one of them about getting a credit limit increase on my credit card?

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 5:17 PM

Is it OK if I drink myself into a whiskey stupor BEFORE Jackman sings and high kicks with the chorus line from High School Musical: In My Pants? I can't watch. I won't watch. I have DVD's!!!

Posted by: BWeaves at February 22, 2009 5:17 PM

I'm gonna predict:

-that Heath Ledger will NOT win the Best Supporting Actor nod.

Just a hunch: the handicappers' consensus has been so overwhelming that a backlash must manifest in SOME form. And the performance really doesn't stand up BRILLIANTLY on repeat viewing -- it's good but not THAT good.

If I'm wrong, then no one will remember me.

If I'm right, then...well, then I'm right, aren't I?

Posted by: BlackMage at February 22, 2009 5:19 PM

Tiger Woods is back baby!

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 5:21 PM

I predict in a hilarious take on life imitating art(?), in the kill-or-be-killed world of the Academy Awards, a fashion don't on the red carpet will turn deadly.

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 5:24 PM

And the performance really doesn't stand up BRILLIANTLY on repeat viewing..


*gets out roast beef slicer and sharpening steel*


Prepare to get cut.

Bitch!

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 5:24 PM

I've watched the Oscars every year since I can remember.

But I'm not the least bit interested in watching this year. I do not care about any of it. I do not fucking care. The Oscar doesn't mean fuck-all any more. The Golden Globes are more discerning.

I might tune in out of curiosity to see Hugh Jackman host.

(Every time I say Hugh Jackman's name aloud I have an urge to snicker like Beavis. Anyone else?)

Posted by: Jerce at February 22, 2009 5:27 PM

Huyuuuuuuge...ackman!

Posted by: Jerce at February 22, 2009 5:29 PM

I just wish Wolverine would pick a team and stick with it, all that goddamn singing and dancing like he's Nathan Lane can't be good for the X-Men franchise.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 5:33 PM

Can't do shots, I'm going with wine. I'm sure I'll be sozzled nonetheless.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 5:33 PM

Fucking ads making the fucking page fucking change.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 5:35 PM

Did this guy just say wine? What, is it that time of the month?

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 5:39 PM

Stop Everything! Turn on VH1, there's some kind of Rehab Show but it has Andy Dick. All I can think is that he's dangerously close to relapsing in a glorious way. Also, not gay? Who knew?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 5:50 PM

I can top that. The hosts on E are making asses of themselves trying to do the dance number at the end of Slumdog Millionaire.

Posted by: battgirl at February 22, 2009 5:57 PM

Shit, I just realized I admitted I watch E.

Posted by: battgirl at February 22, 2009 6:01 PM

Can't do shots OR wine - at work (in Aus) watching the stream - but will happily do shots of instant coffee...

Posted by: Liana at February 22, 2009 6:03 PM

Holy fuck Miley Cyrus is just a little bit country.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 6:05 PM

I've got my own drinking game: every time I take a shot, I take another shot.

I call it: "evening".

There's a variation where every time I take a shot, I take two shots.

That one's called "friday"

Posted by: stipe42 at February 22, 2009 6:08 PM

Just saw Winslet looking like a plumper version of Roseanne.

Disgraceful.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 6:13 PM

I agree B, Winslet is a fucking pig.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 6:19 PM

Women should have to pay a fine if they go above a certain weight.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 6:22 PM

I'm watching to see see if I can identify the jokes Ricky Gervais supposedly punched up for Jackman. Because if there is one thing Hugh Jackman may not be able to do, it's snark.

Posted by: foursweatervests at February 22, 2009 6:27 PM

When I'm out shopping why should I have to avert my eyes? I do not want to look at something unpleasant.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 6:28 PM

My Oscars drinking game:
1 - have a couple of beers with dinner
2 - watch DVDs - this week's Netflix + some of what I have bought of recent
3 - possible late night drink
4 - read who won when I get to the office tomorrow

I want to know who won, but not enough that I need to experience it

Posted by: Brian at February 22, 2009 6:31 PM

need my oscars drink im never gonna be happy otherwise... its gonna be a late stupid LA living in an oscars world. Let the ajiba bitch-fest begin.

Still the game should be drink when anything notable enough happens drinking games are not about getting drunk just about celebrating the absurdity of the think you are appreciating. If plenty notable happens the it is win-win if nothing notable happens then you lower your game.

anyway pajibans unite and all that... drink is our fuel and the oscars are our women to fight over.

Posted by: jim at February 22, 2009 6:40 PM

I'm just going to hang out with my boyfriend Johnnie Walker and wish I could be Kate Winslet. (Boys, she's fucking hot. Go nail a broomstick if that's your thing.)

Predictions:

Film - Slumdog
Actor - Rourke
Actress - Winslet
Supporting Actor - Franco
Supporting Actress - doesn't matter to me, so I'll say Amy Adams for funsies

The rest - no one cares.

See y'all on the other side of this mess.

Posted by: Nicole at February 22, 2009 6:44 PM

FUCK ME, I meant Ledger for supporting actor. I haven't even started drinking yet and my brain is broken. That's what I get for having two screens open and looking at pretty pretty Franco pictures while posting.

Posted by: Nicole at February 22, 2009 6:46 PM

I hope those kids don't pick-pocket nobody.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 6:47 PM

It's gonna be a long, long night. The ceremony starts at around 2am around here. I won't be very productive tomorrow but who cares, it's the Oscars. They might not be as good as they should be but still great to bitch over and drink.

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 6:48 PM

Well, I think Gloria Swanson's going to take Best Actress for Sadie Thompson, but that Janet Gaynor is quite an actress too, so we'll see.

Wait... what year is this? When am I?!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 6:56 PM

I didn't know Seal had a white woman?

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 6:57 PM

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 6:58 PM

oh yeah and im rocking the wine while watching top gun to warm me up for the oscars fest... of course.

surely goose is wearing the most appropriate atire for volleyball? eighties cut jeans probably arent great with volleyball and all those "ripling" pilot muscles. still its like that girl said earlier... maybe i just dont understand subtext.

Posted by: jim at February 22, 2009 7:00 PM

Lots of people giving Button the Forrest Gump brushoff (and for all I know, it deserves it...I haven't seen BB, and hated Gump) -- but, tell me, who is Latika but an updated, Indian Jenny? Continually pushing away the hero, check. Living a louche lifestyle, check. Watching the hero to go to increasingly absurd lengths to save her, check. Only returning unconflicted once the hero lucks into a great deal of money, check. OK, it's not perfect, and I liked Slumdog a great deal. But I think people were just prepared to be dazzled and went with it to a certain extent.

Meanwhile, Milk showed many more characters "in full" -- heroes who were also selfish, unprincipled, and horny, and villains who constantly wrestled with inner conflict and tried to do good (well, except for Anita Bryant). It was my favorite movie since Pan's Labyrinth, and not boring in the least.

Posted by: sansho1 at February 22, 2009 7:02 PM

So Taraji Henson wears Spanx like the rest of us?

Posted by: Nicole at February 22, 2009 7:06 PM

Women should have to pay a fine if they go above a certain weight.

Men should have to pay a fine if they go over a certain amount of stupid.

Me, I'm doing the Woodchuck Hard Cider tonight. And popcorn. 'Cause the Oscars are like my Superbowl.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:06 PM

michael sheen gives me wood. the good kind of wood.

Posted by: guiltypartner at February 22, 2009 7:06 PM

Milk winning would open up a new era of winning the coveted trophy by taking it up the butt.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 7:09 PM

Listen Cindy, I'm just saying that older women should set an example for the younger ladies that are up and coming.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:10 PM

Mmmmm, Michael Sheen.

Posted by: MeMe at February 22, 2009 7:10 PM

They should call it the Asscar, BSlim.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:12 PM

That is not what you were saying with that particular statement. But don't you think a person's weight is his/her own business?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:16 PM

cedric! i mean, edward!! oh, you've a dali biopic coming out?

there goes my wood.

Posted by: guiltypartner at February 22, 2009 7:19 PM

Well Cindy, when I'm out on the town and I want some female companionship, I should be able to pick a nice size woman for the evening. If I'm spending some good money, I don't want the plus size gals trying to get in my pockets.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:26 PM

HOLY CRAP!

When the hell did Matthew Broderick turn into a paunchy insurance salesman with a comb-over? GOD DAMN.

Oh, Ferris...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 7:26 PM

I just finally saw The Reader yesterday. Am I the only one wondering why the kid (David Cross) didn't get nominated for Best Supporting Actor? I think he was at least better than the dude in Revolutionary Road.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:29 PM

Well, I'll give you that one Pookie. If you're paying for your woman, I suppose you should be able to choose. What the fuck that has to do with you talking shit about Kate Winslet, I do not know. Girlfriend is fine.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:35 PM

There is Sean Penn doing his smug jackass routine..I swear man.


PS: Winslet is NOT fine.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 7:36 PM

I'll bet most of the women here would disagree with you BSlim.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:37 PM

I'll bet most of the women here would disagree with you BSlim.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:37 PM


------------------------------------------

Exactly, leave men things to the men, sugartits.

Now, go get me a beer.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 7:40 PM

Yes Cindy I pay for my women, I just don't have the time or the inclination to go out and try to impress some broad with my intellect. I wish I didn't have to but I just don't see women out beating down the doors of guys that don't have money.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:43 PM

OK, you made me chuckle. But get your own beer.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:43 PM

And what does the wife do while you're out picking up skinny chicks?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:45 PM

There's nothing wrong with Kate Winslet you bastards.

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 7:46 PM

And what does the wife do while you're out picking up skinny chicks?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:45 PM

--------------------------------------------

She gets me a beer when I ask her to, that's what she does.

She don't be inquisitatin' and givin' me lip.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 7:48 PM

Cooking, cleaning, sewing, sex stuff.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:53 PM

Is she working it too hard?!!! Whatever will we do?! Did you know they call Ron Jeremy "The Hedgehog" because he can suck his own dick? I felt that piece of trivia was apt.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 7:53 PM

Brother Banes is a two bit hustler, one hand washes the other.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:55 PM

Ah, I appreciate the laughter you menfolk are providing tonight. I might even go scrub a pot in your honor.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:55 PM

Beyonce looks like a couch. A big, shiny couch.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 7:57 PM

a pot? Shiiiiiiiiiiit, try all of them.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 7:57 PM

Gosh, I just tuned in to the very end of her special and I never thought I'd say this, but I really wish I was Barbara Waters' lap right now....

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 7:59 PM

damn the little dude is limber.

Also, RDJ in a tux. Highlight of my night.

Posted by: battgirl at February 22, 2009 8:00 PM

we need a thread concerning best posthumous performances

Posted by: jim at February 22, 2009 8:00 PM

Thank you Melody, you've proven my point. Beyonce ain't sexy cause she ain't 110lbs with blond hair and blue eyes. The Soup Awards are on "E" at this moment.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:01 PM

Is there really another half hour of this junk?

Gee, is Chris Connelly here?

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:02 PM

Ah, I appreciate the laughter you menfolk are providing tonight. I might even go scrub a pot in your honor.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 7:55 PM

---------------------------------------------------

I see you yapping yet the menfolk remain without beers in their hands...

OT: is it wrong to ask for a wooden plank to come out of nowhere and demolish the back of Seacrest's head? IS IT?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:03 PM

Wow, I really like Amy Ad
WHAT'S THAT ON HER NECK???? GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! IT'S GONNA LAY ALIEN EGGS!!!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:04 PM

Pookie, dear, I wasn't referring to her weight. I was referring to that tacky ass dress with the same stupid fishtail hem that she's so fond of. Gold leaf went out of style in the 1980's.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:04 PM

A BEACON FOR FASHION. And what has she done to Ferris Bueller! Bitch

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 8:05 PM

I didn't even see the strech horse trailer pull up.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 8:06 PM

Hugh! Don't waste that lap dance on Bawba WaWa -- give it to BSlim!

The only way to watch this red carpet dreck is with the sound off. RDJ looks so beautiful, Angelina looks like she'd rather be anywhere but there, and....where is the Renee "Skeleton" Z? Isn't she at every one of these things?

Posted by: Louise at February 22, 2009 8:07 PM

is it wrong to ask for a wooden plank to come out of nowhere and demolish the back of Seacrest's head?

If it is wrong to ask for a wooden plank to come out of nowhere and demolish the back of Seacrest's head, I don't wanna be right.

Posted by: Jerce at February 22, 2009 8:07 PM

Brad Pitt looks like a prisoner held against his will. Angelina, QUIT WEARING BLACK ALL THE DAMNED TIME!

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:08 PM

SOUP's ON!!

SOUP's ON!!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:10 PM

He has ONE NAME- Valentino. I take it he is a prominent homosexual of some renown?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 8:11 PM

Mr. Valentino is ORANGE. ORANGE!

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:11 PM

I want curry.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 8:12 PM

a pot? Shiiiiiiiiiiit, try all of them.

You'll have to pay me for that.

BSlim, a little laughter does not a butler make.

Mickey has a new 'do. Looks much better.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:12 PM

I saw her Vagina on the Computer Screen!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 8:13 PM

I know Melody, I'm just bustin' balls. Not that you have balls, ta-tas yes, but not balls.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:13 PM

Uh-oh, stupid dude pissed off RDJ.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:14 PM

I just want to see the Angelina/Jen throwdown.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:15 PM

Why in the hell are they talking to Miley Fucktarded Cyrus?

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 8:15 PM

Amy Adams looks stunning.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:17 PM

Did she just say that the Hannah Montana movie is going to be deep?!

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 8:17 PM

Ooh, Hathaway's dress is sparkly!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 8:19 PM

Tim Gunn doesn't work enough.

just sayin'

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:22 PM

Why am I so excited for the damn Oscars? Slumdog is winning everything, no matter how much I want the Weinsteins to regain their iron grip on the balls of the Academy with a The Reader sweep.

Posted by: Robert at February 22, 2009 8:22 PM

Is Apatow constipated? He's being a total douche.

pfffffffft, your 15 minutes are almost up, dick and fart man.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:25 PM

Of course the Hannah Montana movie is going to be deep. I'm certain it will be a best picture nominee next year.

Posted by: battgirl at February 22, 2009 8:26 PM

No no no.

You do "Lawrence of Arabia" as surf rock. It works.

The wine is open.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:28 PM

Can I please have a curtain in my house made of 100,000 Swarovski crystals, in varying shapes, backlit? That would be so hot.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 8:28 PM

By this time next year I expect Miley Cyrus to be very deep. Like throw a softball without hitting the sides deep.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 8:29 PM

That was the worst pre-show ever. But I think I say that every year.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:29 PM

I don't believe there's ever been a good one, so it's probably always true.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:30 PM

Gay or not, I would do that man.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:31 PM

Hugh Jackman appears neither drunk nor naked.

I have been deceived!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 8:31 PM

Pookie, I do have a pair of balls, but they are bronzed and lovingly displayed in my trophy case.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:32 PM

Wouldn't it be awesome if Logan just deployed his Adamantium claws and just went to town on all these people?

/dreams

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:33 PM

Awesome!! This is a good news~~~Many moviegoers are in a state of excitement at ---Richromances.com----. A hot discussion heats up over there.

Posted by: lawrence at February 22, 2009 8:35 PM

Now that's a song and dance man.

/respect

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:35 PM

lawrence, muh man! I was hopin your crew would show!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:36 PM

Call me a fuckwit but I like this.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:37 PM

Ok, maybe he is drunk. Hee! Oh, Jackman. Get on me!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 8:38 PM

No, Cindy. That shit was gold.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:38 PM

No kidding, Wolverine is rockin' it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:39 PM

Come on Pookie, I'm waiting.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:40 PM

Is it too much wishful thinking to hope that Dr. Cox shows up and throws that long awaited punch at Hugh Jackman?

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:41 PM

Now THAT is how you do an opening number.

On another note, my crush on Anne Hathaway is bigger than ever.

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 8:41 PM

There's something about Jackman - he can carry off things.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:41 PM

No love for Wall-E in the song?

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 8:42 PM

Good grief, what are any of them wearing? My eyes!

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:43 PM

Jay, what the hell?! Why is Tilda blonde now?!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 8:44 PM

Wow, Tilda Swinton has been out-crazy dressed! Brava, Whoopi.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 8:44 PM

A Meryl Streep/steroids joke.

Flawless execution.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:44 PM

Oh good, get those broads out the way early.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:44 PM

I hope there not going to do this for all of them.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 8:44 PM

DAYUM. I want to be Tilda Swinton when I grow up. She's badass just standing there!

Posted by: luthien26 at February 22, 2009 8:45 PM

I sure don't know, but it's sad. Her "Burn After Reading" hair needs to last forever.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:45 PM

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:46 PM

Isn't there an age when the boobs should get put away?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:46 PM

oh god. this is gonna take forever...

Posted by: marigi at February 22, 2009 8:46 PM

What the fuck happened to Goldie? She's got Octomom lips.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:46 PM

They manage to assemble Goldie Hawn with Botox for tonight.

I'd tap Angelica Huston, harshly.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:46 PM

Is it just me or those five women, I mean especially with Tilda Swanton, looks like Final Five?

And the Earth belongs to...

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 8:47 PM

Cindy, see Sophia Loren for the answer to that question. She looks so pretty.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:47 PM

Wow. Did she win anywhere else?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:48 PM

Speak English.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:48 PM

Pookie, where the hell have you been?

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:49 PM

Well, Sophia does classy. Goldie, um, er...

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:49 PM

Show us your tits PENELOPE!!!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:49 PM

Thank god, she shut up.

Posted by: Dingles at February 22, 2009 8:50 PM

Well, she's still awesome. I just like her awesome and red-headed. C'est la vie.

I kind of like the way they did this. Aw, Eva Marie Saint! Precious.

Really? P. Cruz? I would not have thought that. Just from the talk, mind you. I haven't actually seen any of these movies.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 8:50 PM

Wait, did she mention Woody?

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:50 PM

How do you say cunt in Spanish?

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:50 PM

I believe the correct word for it is "pookie."

Posted by: Dingles at February 22, 2009 8:52 PM

Show us your tits PENELOPE!!!

Goldie is her stand-in tonight.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:52 PM

What a cheesy set.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:52 PM

Penelope Cruz, while I'm sure was great in Vicky Christina Barcelona, really wond this on delay from Volver.

In other news, Tom Coliccio's shilling for Diet Coke? Really?

Posted by: foursweatervests at February 22, 2009 8:53 PM

But for all the talk of efficiency.....

I BETTER GET SOME MONTAGES!

I FUCKING LOVE THE MONTAGES!!


My married wife!!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 8:54 PM

TINA FEY!

Posted by: xte at February 22, 2009 8:54 PM

Didn't Tina already wear that dress - in black?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 8:54 PM

Bravo! Dingles

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:54 PM

o Oscars u.

Posted by: Trollin' at February 22, 2009 8:54 PM

Leave it to the two "comedians" to bring the "non-funny"

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:55 PM

Steve Martin and Tina Fey should be in everything. Always.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 8:56 PM

If nothing else, we've learned this; Hugh Jackman also can do splits across the entire stage.

Posted by: Dingles at February 22, 2009 8:57 PM

Really, Slim? I thought they were very funny!

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 8:57 PM

man i need a live stream. or... pajiba and its community could just provide me with a blow by blow run through. but the blow by blow should either include awesome hoover (not the president) based puns or plenty of wolverine otherwise im just gonna go to my drunken british bed and imagine an oscars hosted by all the famous historical oscars... the grouch, de la hoya and the other oscars i cant bring to mind

Posted by: jim at February 22, 2009 8:57 PM

I hope Sean Penn wins nothing simply because he annoys the hell out of me.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:57 PM

Steve Martin and Tina Fey should be in everything. Always.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 8:56 PM

Really?

Schindler's List?

Roots?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:57 PM

Now that guy has to be gay.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 8:58 PM

IIG we might have to break up. Steve Martin 2.0 should not be in anything.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 8:58 PM

1/2 Boozehound!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 8:59 PM

So, that means a Best Picture win for Slumdog. 'Cause best screenplay is usually the "second place" award.

Posted by: Withnail at February 22, 2009 8:59 PM

I hope Sean Penn wins nothing simply because he annoys the hell out of me.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 8:57 PM

HEAR HEAR!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 8:59 PM

IIB, ONLY with Tina Fey. If Tina turns it down, so must he.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 9:01 PM

WAIT WAIT WAAAAAIIIIIT, are all of these gonna be presented in this same insurance sales symposium style?


I don't think I like this one damned bit.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 9:02 PM

1/3 Boozehound

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:02 PM

Guess Dustin better open up his scotch then, Withnail.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:02 PM

Whew, good call. I'm scared of being alone.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:02 PM

And of course Rachel, is presenting as ...Rachel.

/Bathroom break.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 9:04 PM

She looks like she's having trouble. I wonder if she's paying Jack for his sperm.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:04 PM

Best opening number ever! ""The Reader....I haven't seen the Reader...", Anne Hathaway, and the final, classic "I''m WOLVERINE!" Perfect.

Posted by: Anna at February 22, 2009 9:04 PM

Could that have been more awkward?

Posted by: Dingles at February 22, 2009 9:04 PM

There is a H-O-T place for all big, strong guys and H-O-T m-Odels and girls, it called: _____Tallmingle Co M____, You should have a try to find more friends and fun, even l overs.

Posted by: Daniel at February 22, 2009 9:05 PM

Goodnight everyone, I think I'm going to go watch the Soul Train Awards.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:05 PM

Ugh...not loving the montage....

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:06 PM

Montages are love.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:07 PM

WALL E!!!!

BOO YAH!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 22, 2009 9:07 PM

Aniston is a nervous wreck out there.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:07 PM

Jack Black = kinda funny
Jennifer "Rachel" Aniston = not funny

YAAAAHHHHH!!! For Wall-E!

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 9:07 PM

Wow. Guess love hurts, Jay.

Ooh, and Aniston sucks.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:08 PM

Is Aniston on the pills? I think she's high on the pills.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 9:09 PM

She should be nervous, if she wasn't such a cold cunt Pitt would have hung around more.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:09 PM

Jen and Jack need to stop it. Also, I just heard Jen butcher a French title of an animated short.

The animated shorts look pretty good, though. Alamo was showing them this past week and I missed it. Damn.

Posted by: Sharon at February 22, 2009 9:10 PM

Wow the french have really gotten short and slanty.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:10 PM

Closing up on Angelina? HA! Nice.

Also, they really made Jackman work for it this year! And .. I kinda liked it. Respect.

Posted by: monkey_b at February 22, 2009 9:10 PM

It scars, it wounds, it marks, meaux.

Love stinks.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:10 PM

You got inside info Pookie?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:10 PM

I see Jackie Chan won.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:10 PM

Do you think it's because Brangelina are sitting in the front row freaking her out or is she kinda' high?


HAAAAA! Mr. Roboto!!! Good stuff.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 9:11 PM

I find it really endearing that the man just thanked his pencil.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 9:11 PM

"Domo arigato"...heehee...best speech ever! Love this guy.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:11 PM

Dave Matthews and Gwyneth Paltrow are the worst choices to sell me anything, even a credit card.

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 9:13 PM

Butcher? I'd say that's a bit harsh.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:14 PM

Cindy, you and I both know that Aniston is a cold fish.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:15 PM

But... But... But... The Bunny lost? Pixar ... lost? And it was to the most Asian man in the world?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:15 PM

Ah, but Jay, wine makes everything better. Cheers, my friend!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:16 PM

Face lift, that's funny.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:16 PM

Yeah bitches! Japanese rule! Even when making a film in French!

FYI..."Domo Arigato" means Thank you very much.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:16 PM

The Equine Proboscus.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:16 PM

Whatever, just let me see Wally Pfister get his award!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:17 PM

All I can hear is *Clip Clop Clip Clop* *Whinny Whinny Whinny*
"Bond, James Bond"

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:17 PM

I just think she's an airhead. I think she doesn't have the substance Brad longed for. Also, Ang has bigger boobies.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:18 PM

Oh, Dennis DeYoung taught us well, yocean, don't worry.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:20 PM

boo. I was hoping The Curious Case of Benjamin Button won't win anything. The Dark Knight should have won that.

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 9:20 PM

Man-O-War!!!

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:21 PM

What the hell with SJP'Ss boobs? Have they always been that big? That looks downright painful.

Posted by: Austin at February 22, 2009 9:21 PM

Time to play everyone's favorite game- Gay or Just British?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:22 PM

SJP presenting, that explains the look-at-me-I'm-a-princess gown.
And with Daniel Craig.
Lucky be-yotch.

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 9:22 PM

Ummm...Pookie and Optimus...I lost my words...

Well, suffice to say sometime I can't tell difference between a Japanese Person and Korean or Chinese myself,except by their demeanor and fashion and NAME... But, really, you could not tell he was speaking Japanese?

There's color blind, enlightened and there's just plain damn lazy race indifference.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:23 PM

Fuck Off Button!

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:24 PM

Substance? Cindy you think Jolie has substance? Last time I checked Billy Bob knocked the bottom out that pussy. Substance my ass.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:24 PM

Aw fucking hell. That bullshit bests an elf prince? I doubt it.

Oooooh, he looks old and weird. Ooooooooh. STRIKING!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:24 PM

Not again! Fuck Benjamin Button!

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 9:25 PM

BB gets all the Sorry-You-Won't-Be-Getting-Any-of-the-Big-Ones Oscars.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:25 PM

Anyone still thinking Heath is a safe bet for Supporting Actor? I'm starting to question it.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 9:25 PM

Okay, I finally tore my eyes away from her boobs and I must say, I am in serious hate with that dress. Sarah Jessica, I know you grew up poor but this is not the place to live out your fairy princess fantasy!! MOVE ON!!!

Posted by: Austin at February 22, 2009 9:25 PM

Oh Christ, Seyfried. Some pants need changing around here now.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:26 PM

Oh hell no! Not the dirty vampire and my big-boobed girl of dream sharing air!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:26 PM

Yikes, are we up to two pints of whisky now? This game could be dangerous....

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:26 PM

Did they really just show Twilight? AT THE OSCARS! HAVE SOME STANDARDS!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:27 PM

Why get two actors from two of the worst movies of 2008 to present an Oscar? Twilight and Mamma Mia. Are they serious?

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 9:27 PM

Oh yeah, that's what I need. A romance montage!

Gimme montage spaceships and armies n' shit! Show me a Spinner!

Love stinks!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:28 PM

Listen Yocean, don't start that racial shit tonight. If the Academy knew that fucker was going to win they should have some goddamn subtitles in place. I don't know what the fuck he said.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:29 PM

This sucks harder than Jenna Jameson back in the "good" days.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 9:29 PM

Oh, now this montage is even worse. Jay, give me your wine RIGHT NOW.

Ooh, Judd Apatow short film coming up? Okay, I may survive the night yet.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:30 PM

And they're showing clips from High School Musical 3, Optimus.

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 9:30 PM

Someone locate Rowles, that homo Apatow is up next.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:31 PM

I don't think I hardly started it, but...

Yes his English kinda sucked. Listen I'm on second shot of Tequila, watching alone men...

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:32 PM

Pookie you are so darned angry. Breathe, my friend. Think about poor Brad, always looking for someone with something more. For now, he found the Ambassador of Good Will or whatever she is. They adopt all the poor kidlets of the world. They give a couple hundred thou here and there. These people are making a difference in the world. Using celebrity for good man.

OK, I can't stand Stiller, but I'm laughing.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:32 PM

Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix is pretty good.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 9:32 PM

Yeah, that's the funniest thing I've seen Ben Stiller do in...well...forever. Not bad!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:34 PM

I want to have Natalie's babies. And Ben just got back some cred.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:34 PM

I kind of want Joaquin Phoenix to show up and kick Ben Stiller's ass right now. Not that he's not being funny, but because it would rock.

Posted by: Ariel at February 22, 2009 9:34 PM

Stiller is funny.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:35 PM

Has anyone seen that SNL clip where Natalie is rapping? She's all angry and it is extremely hot.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:35 PM

Jesus of fucking Christland!

Unholy fucker of mothers!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:35 PM

Nice hair dude.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:36 PM

Wait. What the fuck is on the man's chest? Golden wings or some monster ear?

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:37 PM

I kind of want Joaquin Phoenix to show up now and kick Ben Stiller's ass. Not that he wasn't funny, but because it would be freaking awesome.

Posted by: Ariel at February 22, 2009 9:37 PM

The husband just showed up with another bottle of wine.
To quote meaux, "I may survive the night yet."

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 9:38 PM

What's going on Jay?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:38 PM

toga! toga!

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at February 22, 2009 9:39 PM

WALLY WAS ROBBED!!!!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:39 PM

Is Jessica Biel wearing a satin sheet?

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 9:39 PM

Were those fucking Crocks!

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:39 PM

Oh, how embarrassing--Jessica forgot to untuck her napkin bib from her pretty white dress.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:39 PM

Joaquin wouldn't have a chance. Stiller bulked up for Tropic Thunder and Joaquin is so out of it these days he'd probably be just standing there.
New Mini-Comment Diversion. We pick which Presenters would win in a fight.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:40 PM

Take a deep breath and several gulps of wine.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:40 PM

I kinda have hots for the girl sitting next to the God of Digital film. One with purple dress and big shiny adorable glasses.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:40 PM

Oh, Jessica Biel. You're so pretty!

(You should probably not talk. Pretty much ever.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 9:40 PM

Is anyone else surprised that the Oscars seem to be...funny...and appropriate...and entertaining and...not boring? I think this is a really good year.

And props for acknowledging non-Oscar movies in their romance reel.

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 9:40 PM

Jessica Biel, this is your moment, giant napkin dress and all.

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 9:41 PM

Wait. What the fuck is on the man's chest? Golden wings or some monster ear?

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:42 PM

Cindy I'm not angry, that goddamn Yocean is trying to provoke me. I was just saying I couldn't understand the Japanese guy and Yocean all up in my grill. If I had the attitude that Yocean has I would put my foot in the Chinese guy's ass whenever he fucks up my order.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:42 PM

The Oscars are not amusing me this year.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 9:43 PM

Pookie, we've got to get you to sensitivity training toot sweet, otherwise you're going to get your ass kicked.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:48 PM

I kinda have hots for the girl sitting next to the God of Digital film. One with purple dress and big shiny adorable glasses.

Given my line of work I reflexively worry everyone's underage now, but.......yeah.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:48 PM

What the hell? How was that an original short? It was just like the movie. Don't go throwing around the word "original" if it's just going to be a retread of a movie that I wasn't too into.
(That said, I kinda liked it. Pretty funny)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 9:48 PM

It's good to show movies not in for the O scars in montages but The Love Guru!?

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 9:48 PM

Oh Pookie, you are amusingly provokable. Please stay that way. I'll be going back to watching Academy.

Also, I had the hot for the girl w purple dress and big adorable grasses next the Digital Filming god dude.... Hoping that is not an illegal sentiment.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:48 PM

Optimus, my thoughts exactly on the Apatow short. Pretty funny, but hardly original.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:50 PM

Jay: Jesus of fucking Christland! Unholy fucker of mothers!

Laughed so hard my neighbor beat on our shared wall in protest. (It's been a grim weekend over here, so thanks a million for the ha-ha.)

Posted by: ALR at February 22, 2009 9:50 PM

Jay...

I know right?

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:52 PM

Wow, Captain Hammer in Castle looks intriguing!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:52 PM

Thanks Cindy, but I'm well versed in taking an ass kicking having studied judo for about fifteen years before blowing out my knee.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:52 PM

Hugh Jackman better get shirtless or otherwise I will be VERY unhappy.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 9:53 PM

Stop! Can't Beyonce just drop off the face of the earth already?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:53 PM

WHOOO!!! Take it off, Hugh! Take it off!

...er, he's not taking it off.

Rats.

And now Beyonce is on the stage.

Double rats.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:53 PM

He can't handle that brown sugar.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:55 PM

Boyonce is an awesome entertainer. And lipsyncer.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 9:55 PM

In fair, Professor Frank said it first, but I'm glad I could help! I had a horrible feeling, down in my brain's heart, that it was going to need to be said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a20_HWXin3Q

(stump, stump, stump)

I like Beyonce's shoes.

And "it's electrifyin!" does belong to Space Ghost ever since the "Needledrop" episode. As you well know.

I am Lady Marmalade.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:55 PM

Why the FUCK does Beyonce have to show up? GODDAMNIT! We're in the middle of a recession, people are depressed, and the woman who's telling everyone to "put a ring on it" has to rear her fucking head! Look, I know Milk's nominated this year and everything, but did we reallyneed a musical showpiece?

Posted by: Mike R. at February 22, 2009 9:55 PM

What.The.Fuck?! Is there a need for this? Bullshit like this is why this damn thing takes forever. And I just saw some cottage cheese on Beyonce's thighs!!!

Posted by: Austin at February 22, 2009 9:55 PM

As much as I don't like Mamma Mia, it's nice to see a tribute to musicals.

Posted by: barf at February 22, 2009 9:56 PM

beyonce is gonna get her ass whooped for lip synching at last for a second.

Posted by: brian at February 22, 2009 9:56 PM

God, why the hell is she always singing At Last? Who in the hell told her she was anything like Etta James?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 9:56 PM

Well, I've got your back man. I think I still remember some of my military training.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 9:56 PM

Strike that, High School Musical invaded the Oscars. The night truly has outjazzhanded itself.

Posted by: Mike R. at February 22, 2009 9:57 PM

Did Penn really tongue a guy in "Milk?"

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 9:57 PM

What the bloody hell? High School Musical children in the musical number? Argh!!!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 9:57 PM

Pookie...

I'll have you know that every Japanese men takes Judo in High-School...and it has nothing to do with ass-kicking in literal sense. It's all about tripping, throwing opponents and submissions. It's pretty effective with concrete grounds.

There's good ass-kicking in Karate tho.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 9:58 PM

B, if you're gonna lip sync, why are you even there?

That number blew chunks.

Posted by: Lauren at February 22, 2009 9:59 PM

You mean that he's not ready for that jelly, Pookie.

And I just saw some cottage cheese on Beyonce's thighs!!!

Stop it, Mischa Barton! Let it go! The point is that I saw her thighs. They're nice. Did you see that Grammy number with Prince a few years ago? I'll look at her thighs any day.

I like glasses a lot, yocean.

A Lot.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:00 PM

So was anyone else waiting for Dom Deluise to come out with his megaphone and yell "cut" during that number?

Posted by: trixie at February 22, 2009 10:01 PM

....well, it was a good idea in theory. I feel like if they had cut the number of songs in half it would have worked better. I do love musicals...but I'd prefer to hear 30 seconds of them at least, you know?

Posted by: Anna at February 22, 2009 10:01 PM

That's why Bolo got kicked in the nuts in "Enter the Dragon."

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:01 PM

No Hello, Dolly? For shame. That musical helped two robots fall in love as opposed to HSM which just helped plastic people make more money than Midas.

Posted by: foursweatervests at February 22, 2009 10:02 PM

Oh shit, here we go.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:02 PM

Yossarian!!!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:03 PM

You know what?

I was not going to watch the fucking Oscars this year, but I wanted to skim this motherfucking thread and I thought I'd put that shit on. I saw the little Franco/Rogen piece, it was cute, like an awkward High School YouTube parody. And then the promo the Supporting Actor award and I think, "Ah fuckit, I'll stick around for it."

But no. What the fuck to I get? Sasha Fierce and the High School Musical Spray-tanned Tweeners. I fucking quit you Oscars.

Stick a fork in me (preferably hard enough to puncture the skull and then finish the maneuver by swirling it around a couple of times in there so my brain can be cleansed); I am fucking done.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 10:03 PM

oh god- is it going to take ten mins to announce the best supporting actor winner?

why didn't they ask george clooney to present?

Posted by: kayla at February 22, 2009 10:03 PM

JOEL GRAY!!!!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 10:03 PM

how is it that walken is less creepy with a moustache?

Posted by: brian at February 22, 2009 10:03 PM

Seymor Phillip Hoffman?! Oy.

Posted by: Anna at February 22, 2009 10:04 PM

I'm getting my razor and strop ready.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 10:04 PM

Too much with the ethnic slurs?


Golly I love Alan Arkin.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:04 PM

I was trying to figure out why Cuba was there... now I get it.

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 10:05 PM

I didn't know Philip Seymour Hoffman was French.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:06 PM

Aw, Robert looked touched.

Also...Walken!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:06 PM

You know they should just have a montage of all the past winners before the award. So far those are the only parts I like.

Posted by: DoubleH at February 22, 2009 10:06 PM

Christopher Walken's HAIR.

Posted by: cerain at February 22, 2009 10:06 PM

What's up with Seymour Phillip Seymour Hoffman's hat? Good grief.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:07 PM

Why does Cuba Gooding Jr. look entirely drugged out? Is it some kinda tribute to RDJ's history?

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:07 PM

Mah man. Mr. Walken.

Kevin Kline.

Damn, the coolness.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 10:07 PM

Apparently, Christopher Walken is Tom Hanks dad in Angels and Demons. That's the only way they can explain that hair.

Posted by: Mike R. at February 22, 2009 10:07 PM

That was indeed one of the best shots in the movie, Kevin.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:08 PM

Justice!!!!!

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:08 PM

Seriously, what is UP with Walken's hair??

Oh, Heath.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 10:08 PM

Hell to the yes.

Posted by: Dingles at February 22, 2009 10:08 PM

Why does Cuba Gooding Jr. look entirely drugged out? Is it some kinda tribute to RDJ's history?

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:08 PM

Wow. Yeah! Heath Ledger.

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 10:09 PM

If they play them off, I'm phoning in a bomb threat.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 10:09 PM

Congrats Heath.

It's well deserved. I would almost have liked to have seen RDJ win because I loved him in Tropic Thunder.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 10:11 PM

Awwww, now that was really nice.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:11 PM

That was sweet. I think Sean Penn was crying.

Ha! admin, I was thinking, "there's no way in hell they're gonna play them off, right? RIGHT?!"

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 10:12 PM

Quite so, Melody. Robert did acknowledge that it was the wrong year to be another nominee, but it would've been great to see him accept it any other time.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:14 PM

Did the documentary woman drop f-bomb just now?

"Oh?!" is right.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:14 PM

Ooh, Maher...way to follow a touching moment with some heavy-duty awkwardness!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:15 PM

Oh look, Bill Maher. AMPAS must've needed to hit its arrogant cocksucker quotient.

Posted by: Bastard Ray at February 22, 2009 10:15 PM

The family's speeches were sweet and touching.

Bill Maher makes me want to barf. Newsflash Bill, this isn't about you. Jackass.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 10:15 PM

Love the little French dude!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:17 PM

I think I might go into the movie making business.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:17 PM

And the Oscars just turned into the Camp Firewood talent show . . . and it was good.

Posted by: foursweatervests at February 22, 2009 10:17 PM

Hey, my thighs are covered in cottage cheese, and I know no one wants to see that shit.

Posted by: Austin at February 22, 2009 10:18 PM

And now I have run out of wine. And this room stinks!

Stinks of women thinking about Tony.

Wondering where he is....who he is with....what is he thinking?....is he thinking of me?....and will he ever come back someday?

My God, open a window!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:18 PM

french dude rules

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at February 22, 2009 10:18 PM

Glad the short documentary by a man with Japanese last name did not win... I mean we all know short and Japanese men don't need to always go together....

Back to Tequila shots.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:18 PM

Really though, how great was that dude? Not only was he extremely European but he also busted out some circus act.
That said, this woman needs to be behind the camera. Far behind.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 10:18 PM

I think I might go into the movie making business.

I'd but that for a dollar.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 10:18 PM

Woe- the documentarians are actually having to jog to the awards podium.

Posted by: kayla at February 22, 2009 10:19 PM

Porn doesn't make the Oscars, Pookie.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 10:20 PM

Me, just now: Why Will Smith? He's not relevant anymore.
My roommate: He is relevant to ME. He is relevant TO MY PANTIES.

Posted by: cerain at February 22, 2009 10:20 PM

Uh oh, action montage coming up....time to russle up some blueberry ale.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:21 PM

hey Jay....Tony...he's here with me...watching the show!!!
LMAO!! LOOOOOOVE some KITH! YESSSS!

Posted by: Jeva at February 22, 2009 10:22 PM

Aww, I'd share my wine if I could. I'm on glass #3. My drinking game is a big gulp every time someone tears up or thanks their mom/wife/kids. Going to be good and drunk in the next 30-45 minutes.

Posted by: Austin at February 22, 2009 10:23 PM

Is that as good as it sounds, meaux?

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 10:23 PM

The Adult Film Awards will be holding a seat on the aisle for you, Pooks.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 10:25 PM

GO, Speed Racer, GO!

Irina Spalko!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:26 PM

Hey Pookie, look! There's a brown man on the television!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 10:26 PM

DAMN, THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT!!!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:27 PM

Will puts the 'cock' in Hancock.

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at February 22, 2009 10:27 PM

Will Smith is about as black as I am.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 10:28 PM

Jay...

Another I KNOW RIGHT?

I just had another tequila shot for that. I think that wass my 4th but not too sure.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:29 PM

Really?
Benjamin Button instead of Iron Man or TDK?

Posted by: Jules at February 22, 2009 10:30 PM

Fuck Benji Button and his buddy Forrest.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 10:30 PM

Welcome to the Hotel La Rut.

You can check in, but you can never leave.

Posted by: Anonymous Jerk at February 22, 2009 10:30 PM

Hey, I grew up in suburban Florida too! Hell yeah!!

(cut to: I didn't get nominated. Thanks, buddy)

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:31 PM

Admin you were born 'n raised in West Philadelphia... Were the streets the place where you spent most of your days?

To get to Canada did you get a cabby that you knew was rare?

Do you prefer to be called the Fresh Prince of the White North?

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 10:31 PM

Shhh. It's sound editing! The one that matters!
Slumdog! YES!
(Why don't they have this with the other "technical" Oscars?)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 10:32 PM

Fiore - Smell Her

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at February 22, 2009 10:32 PM

Get to the fucking best actor and actress and best film so I can go and tap my old lady before she goes to sleep.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:32 PM

Melissa, the stuff I drink is really nice! It's from a small New Brunswick (Canada, not NJ) brewery. Smells strongly of blueberry, but tastes more like regular (if a little sweet) beer.

I just finished a bottle of blueberry honeywine, which was just heavenly. By sheer coincidence, I was given blueberry libations by two different people on Friday, so it's been kind of a theme weekend for me. (Hey, and I just remembered I still have some blueberry Stoli from my last trip across the border...shall I go for the trifecta?)

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:33 PM

Cacophony is like the word of the year. Everybody's doing it.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 10:33 PM

Jeez, Will Smith is still there..

BTW, anyone know who;s the red-haired girl who's escorting people off? I love Glasses and Red Head...yap you know my weakness now.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:34 PM

Actually Kayanne, I'm more commonly known as Moo Cowy Cow. Home on the rage bitches!

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 10:35 PM

I'm still waiting for someone to mention that the Batpod taking down the semi is a tribute to Antilles and Janson taking down the AT-AT.

Am I the only person who was quietly shouting "Good shot, Janson!"???

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:36 PM

Yeah, but why are all the winners for Slumdog White?

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:36 PM

Oh, he's so slim and pale and cool glasses-y and British and is totally rocking the bald...can I take him home?

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:36 PM

It must be a blueberry weekend, meaux! I had blueberry coffee yesterday and today. (Usually I have cinnamon hazelnut.)

...Did she just say a tribute to Jerry Lewis? Huh.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 10:37 PM

Tribute to Jerry Lewis? Why? WHY???

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 10:38 PM

The wine has peaked. And is that Diet Coke commercial using "King of the Hill" music?

Yeah, but why are all the winners for Slumdog White?

Because the Empire never really went away. They just went stealth.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:38 PM

Home on the rage bitches!

Hahaha. I have no idea why that made me laugh. Thank godtopus y'all are more entertaining than this shit on TV.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 10:38 PM

Jerry Lewis? What, Soupy Sales wasn't available?

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:40 PM

Because the Empire never really went away. They just went stealth.

That's some Jedi mind shit right there.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 10:40 PM

Hell, I'll chase the wind, allergy people. Just yesterday at work I walked outside on a break and I was gleefully looking up at the sky and letting the wind hit me.

"What are you looking for?" said a coworker who was about to leave in her car.

"No, I'm just looking at contrails!"

They look lovely in a clear winter sky. Just like that Ride song.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:40 PM

There's about twelve more hours until we get to Best Picture, I think.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 10:41 PM

Somebody hide the trannies.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:42 PM

Eddie Murphy is still alive?! Good for him!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 10:42 PM

12 is optimistic, Cindy. I vote at least 10 am tomorrow.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 10:43 PM

AvB, you just made me snorf Diet Coke. Funny betch!

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 10:44 PM

Dammit I'm'a gonna tear up at Jerry's good works. I actually am a very compassionate misanthrope.

CUT THE KIDS A CHECK!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:44 PM

Gin and Tonic for everybody.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:45 PM

Woo Hoo, Jerry! About to bring the funny! Oops, Eddie Murphy is on-screen, never mind.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 10:45 PM

Goddammit, Dean oughta be here! Thank you, Jerry.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:46 PM

I heard Jerry's a dickhead.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 10:47 PM

"Biologic" medicine, Orencia? What does that mean? It's made from whales?!

Whales, Seaman Beaumont. Whales.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:48 PM

Shouldn't've put my next mortgage payment on that leaked winners list...

Posted by: Anonymous Jerk at February 22, 2009 10:50 PM

Crap.

I was hoping I'd alcohol time-traveled and the Original Songs had already happened.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:51 PM

Totally just said Seamen.
But finally they get to the MUZAK.
Didn't Mancini do Moon River?
Sofi loves that song. But she's not around Pajiba much anymore.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 10:51 PM

Good, I can go get a bowl of cereal.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:52 PM

this is nice but its putting me to sleep. zzzzz

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at February 22, 2009 10:53 PM

We still have yet to do the dead person montage. And the best picture nominees montage. Or best song. This thing still has a LONG ass way to go.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 10:53 PM

Didn't Mancini do Moon River?

Yes, he wrote the music and Johnny Mercer wrote the lyrics. And I still like Morrissey's cover, even though Ms. pisaster thinks it too "emo" in its modifications. I may yet sing it myself. I can do a pretty good Morrissey voice.

Holy shit, Efron's presenting?

WACKY!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:54 PM

Is it just me, or is Zach Effron really just Billy Corgan with hair?

Posted by: Anonymous Jerk at February 22, 2009 10:54 PM

Zack Efron looks like he's trying to channel Jared Leto.

For my own info, is Slumdog that good? I've heard conflicting reports.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 10:55 PM

So is it safe to say that this is the Asian year at Oscars? I mean, the best picture is still away but, Indian are Asian too right?

So, yay, we rock! Says the half-white Asian man.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 10:55 PM

I like Morrissey's version too Jay.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 10:55 PM

Ohhhhh, Mr/Ms Anonymous that's a bit harsh. Billy did have really solid stuff in the 90s. He started out great.

I mean...isn't the "Rocket" video just beautiful?

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:56 PM

Nice coat Ali.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:56 PM

Wow, Alicia Keys looks radiant. Makes me forget that shiny little annoying boy is on the stage with her.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 10:57 PM

Zomg, who did the song for WALL-E? Wasn't it Peter Gabriel? Is he still around? That's not Peter Gabriel at all! That's R&B Singer John Legend. (If R&B stands for Roots and Berries)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 10:58 PM

We still have yet to do the dead person montage.

Just ONCE, I want an awards ceremony, doesn't matter which one, to play "People Who Died".

I mean, it's not disrespectful! Come on!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 10:58 PM

Bored, going to read a bit then go to bed. This thing sucks monkey ass.

Posted by: Austin at February 22, 2009 10:59 PM

Billy did have really solid stuff in the 90s.
I meant appearances only.

Posted by: Anonymous Jerk at February 22, 2009 10:59 PM

Now those Indians are going to think that they are hot shit, but in my eyes are still behind the Mexicans.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 10:59 PM

Why does it smell like curry in this bitch?

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:00 PM

Huh, I was wondering what they'd do after Peter Gabriel refused to play when the academy wouldn't let him sing the whole song.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 11:01 PM

I don't know. Methink the Indian has one of the best bods.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 11:01 PM

That was a musical number I can get behind. I liked it.

Also, Alicia Keys is so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 11:02 PM

Wow, Alicia Keys looks radiant.

Did she? I'm drunk.

Hang on, maybe they'll show her again.

Okay. She doesn't look like Alicia Keys. But she does look nice.

Only kidding, AJ.

Did "Monsoon Wedding"'s soundtrack win anything? "Baraat" is a great song!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:02 PM

admin, my reaction to SM was "meh." I thought it was a good film and worth seeing, but I think Milk deserves the Oscar way more.

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 11:02 PM

Oh Pooks your refreshing commentary on race is inspiring. Don't ever change.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 11:03 PM

Shame on you admin.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:03 PM

Ooh, the Mystery Jets were just on a Penney's commercial!

Go, you Twickenham bastards!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:04 PM

Peter Gabriel was in the audience early on.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:05 PM

My 14 yr. old brother just pointed out that Zac Efron resembles Mordred from "Mists of Avalon".

I'm not sure what's funnier, that Efron looks like the inbred spawn of Arthur and Morgaine, or that my brother's seen "Mists of Avalon".

Posted by: monkey_b at February 22, 2009 11:06 PM

Ughhh..... so bored......

Posted by: sheshakes at February 22, 2009 11:06 PM

I don't like curry or cumin myself. But that's just me.

Hey, it's Suspect Qui-Gon!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:07 PM

Any reason why Springsteen was not nominated for The Wrestler? Was the song not original for the movie?

Posted by: Jules at February 22, 2009 11:07 PM

Shake up with Foreign Film! Whew!

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:07 PM

Presenter lady's dress looks supremely uncomfortable in the neck area. It's not un-pretty, but I'm sure I'd be squirming in it.

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 11:08 PM

I rest my case Yocean!!!

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:08 PM

They better keep those Slumdog Millionaire kids away from the Jolie-Pitts or they might adopt a couple of 'em before the night is through.

Posted by: skippy at February 22, 2009 11:09 PM

When is this supposed to end? Anyone? Beuller?

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 11:09 PM

Yay. Another win to Japanese. And that guy next to the bespectacled guy is a movie star who used to be in teen boy band in 80's. The band's name was "Bitter Persimmons Squad" (Loosely translated). I am not kidding.

It bringing back so many memories... nop. Not one of them fond.

Posted by: yocean at February 22, 2009 11:10 PM

DEAD MONTAGE!

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 11:11 PM

You no funny Yocean, I call cop on you.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:11 PM

What?

The Baader Meinhof Complex lost?

That's bullshit!

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:11 PM

Melody, with the added singing, dead people and filler awards we're talking 3 am for sure.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:12 PM

My Guiron fell off my monitor and smashed my wineglass. And I spilled my coffee.

Unseemly.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:13 PM

I bet Liam Neeson smells like a DREAM. But Her Majesty Latifah should really take a seat. She's not welcome here.
Aww and now I remember that Rob Schieder died.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 11:13 PM

We have to give the acadamy credit. They put in a lot of time and money training that Dugong to sing.

It worked out well.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:13 PM

KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 11:14 PM

I hate dead people. They are such downers.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:14 PM

Khannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:15 PM

"Its Hyundai. Like shittycarday."

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:16 PM

Oh, Charlton Heston. I forgot he was dead, because of how he lives on in my heart.

I don't think I like the singing thing. I love Latifah, but... no.

Optimus, I thought you were saying Rob Schneider was dead. Then I remembered Roy Scheider died, so that was probably who you meant. You shouldn't get a girl all excited like that.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 11:16 PM

Damn you Melody!

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:17 PM

Kahn could sell Corinthian leather to a Corinthian.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:17 PM

Did anyone take a moment to pry Charlton Heston's guns from his cold dead hands?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 11:17 PM

No applause for Heston. Interesting.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 11:17 PM

Roy Schnieder, Optimus.

The Queen did rock it. Was Heath in last years or did they screw the pooch on that?

Mr. Newman, you will be missed. A class act.

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 11:17 PM

They left out Heath Ledger.....

Posted by: sands at February 22, 2009 11:18 PM

RIP Paul Newman
Ok let's get on with it. maybe I should just give up and go to bed.

Posted by: Algator at February 22, 2009 11:18 PM

Gaaahh I wanted to stab the cameraman on that dead people montage. I already know what Queen Latifah is wearing. Could you please keep your focus on one damn spot so I can actually read the names on the screen?

Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at February 22, 2009 11:18 PM

I can't wait till Prisco reads through this.

I've abandoned the awards and have started watching Underworld: Evolution. From one bandied group of blood-sucking and carnivorous monsters to the next!

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 11:18 PM

No no, Heath was already dead last year.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:19 PM

Chin WitherChin!

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:19 PM

Who beat up Reese Witherspoon?

Posted by: sheshakes at February 22, 2009 11:19 PM

Oh, there goes another cold fish that couldn't keep a man.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:19 PM

That is one hot mess!

I'm confused in my pants.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:20 PM

Sands, they did Ledger last year. You know...when he died.

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 11:20 PM

Tigger, I love it.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

We can meet in the middle Melody.
But, randomly, did Jack Nicholson die? Where are the constant reaction shots of him? Just completely irrelevant now?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

Why does Slumdog keep winning everything?? UG!!

Posted by: Jeva at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

Pookie, what did I do?

Posted by: Melody at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

Boyle, you were the bomb in "Trainspotting"!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

Pretty sure Ledger was in last year's.

Yeah, Lainey--I thought it seemed awfully quiet when they showed Heston!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

I am not fond of ckick peas.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:21 PM

aw, I think Reese looks pretty. Her dress is a pretty color and sparkly. I like it.

Also, Danny Boyle is friggin' adorable. I really wan thim to do the Tigger laugh now, though.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 11:22 PM

Slumdog won again?

Did. Not. See. That. Coming.

Do I need to bother seeing the rest of this suckfest?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:24 PM

I got a webcam and I'm tempted to use it.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:24 PM

You beat me to KHAN Melody.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:26 PM

DO IT, POOKIE!

Give into peer pressure. It's what all the cool kids are doing.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 11:26 PM

Wow, what a group.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:26 PM

Tigger........is a bastard.

I hate him.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:27 PM

that is a lot of crazy up there

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:27 PM

*waves a handful of singles at Pookie*

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:27 PM

Alright Jay, now I'm going to have to fuck you up. Back off the Tigger.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:28 PM

Fuck you, Jay.

Tigger's a saint.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 11:29 PM

SCARECROW!!!

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:30 PM

Look at the melons on that one! WOW

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:30 PM

Time finally caught up to Lauren...

Yikes. Let it go, Lauren. Let it go.

Posted by: Anonymous Jerk at February 22, 2009 11:31 PM

Kate! My other married wife! Who's almost exactly the same age as me!

MENDEEEEEES!!!!!!


Aw, that was sweet, Sissy.


Kay....you're my friend, and you're my partner.


Ever seen "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" with an audience?

Everyone's with Pooh at the beginning....and then this oblivious asshole comes in, wrecking Rabbit's garden and just not giving a shit...and you see, hear and feel the audience think "ooooh, who's the new guy?" Like some asshole with a motorcycle. Fucker.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:32 PM

Take that Pookie! And BSlim.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:32 PM

all it took was a holocaust movie

Posted by: theycallthewind at February 22, 2009 11:32 PM

Didn't take her long to put the weight back on.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:32 PM

I love watching women hug.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:33 PM

Spelling is for dorks.

Goodbye naked Kate Winslet. You will be missed.

Posted by: Anonymous Jerk at February 22, 2009 11:33 PM

Jay, that was wonderful. Tigger= Asshole with a motorcycle.
Glorious

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2009 11:34 PM

Ok, Kate's dad whistling just made me tear up. Awww.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 11:34 PM

Awww, so sweet with the dad whistle. Yay Kate!

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 11:35 PM

Cue music.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:35 PM

The Americans didn't win shit tonight, what the fuck is going on? I just hope that homo Milk don't represent us with a win tonight.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:35 PM

Fuck you so much!!!!

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:35 PM

I hope a pack of heffalumps come traipsing through your apartment and steal your honey, Jay.

You and Rhyme are both on notice. I like your two at the start, but now I know not to trust the likes of you.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 22, 2009 11:36 PM

Jay, Tigger is the carefree spirit of a child in us all. The happy dude. Tigger brings joy to everyone, and even Rabbit would forgive Tigger. Loosen up that hatband, will ya?

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:36 PM

Elmer Bernstein in the hizzy!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:36 PM

Aww, Kate's dad!! *tear*

Jay, I *heart* Tigger fierce, but that was some funny shite.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 11:37 PM

Adrien Brody! WHEEEEEEE!

Posted by: monkey_b at February 22, 2009 11:37 PM

Now that's a group of actors.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:38 PM

I am diggin' the star power.

Go Mickster!

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:38 PM

Thank you POOKIE!! I was hoping that I wasn't the only one thinking that!!

Posted by: Jeva at February 22, 2009 11:38 PM

I can't tell whether sophia loren is drunk or pilled out?

Posted by: kayla at February 22, 2009 11:39 PM

Oh, Brody. I love oyu, but for god's sake, wash your hair.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 11:41 PM

That dude was brilliant in step brothers

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:41 PM

Get the fuck out of here, all of a sudden Penn's a humanitarian. I remember when that douche was fuckin' Madonna and spittin on motherfuckers.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:42 PM

I need to do Ben Kingsley.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:42 PM

Is it disrespectful to be looking at Mickey Rourke and squeeing "Tina!"?

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:43 PM

Brody looks like he's homeless.

SPICOLI!!!

That was my scull!

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:43 PM

YES PENN!

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 11:44 PM

Oh come on. Penn overplayed that crap all the way.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:44 PM

It's refreshing to see him not take himself sooo seriously. Even if it's an act.

Posted by: Lainey at February 22, 2009 11:45 PM

Well, he is the only character in the Hundred Acre Wood that I don't really identify with.

Except sometimes when I'm drunk, I suppose. Which is when people say "hey, let's go dance, Jay!"

And then they don't join in but just look at me and giggle.

Oh, the ignobility.

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:46 PM

Suh-weet Prop 8 dig there, Sean!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 11:46 PM

I generally don't like Sean Penn, but MAN, after this speech, I think he has a fan. And he WAS brilliant in Milk.

And how cute is the writer of Milk? Dustin Black is it? I think I've seen the next Mrs. Pink Hulk.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at February 22, 2009 11:47 PM

Botox, Kayla...Botox.

Posted by: Smokin at February 22, 2009 11:47 PM

Don't forget his trips to Iraq, Pookie

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:47 PM

Is it disrespectful to be looking at Mickey Rourke and squeeing "Tina!"?

Not when you consider that some people were looking at Rourke and squeeing "Rob!"

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 11:49 PM

Rourke sitting up there with a dry mouth, I know he wants a drink.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:49 PM

Apparently, my new name in my brother-in-law's phone is "Commie homo-lovin' son of a gun".

I like it.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 22, 2009 11:50 PM

Nooo, not another montage! It's so close to over, and meaux-meaux needs her sleepies!!!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 11:50 PM

Jay, have you never jumped up and down? Giggled with joy? Sheesh, Tigger is the one who reminds the others not to take everything too seriously. He's good to his friends, despite any accidental garden destruction.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:51 PM

Attica! Attica!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:51 PM

I'm sorry but I just can't kiss a guy on the lips.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:51 PM

BOOOOOOOOOO! Milk was robbed!

Posted by: Kate at February 22, 2009 11:53 PM

It is written!

Posted by: Melissa at February 22, 2009 11:53 PM

Penn was married to Madonna Pookie, he's done more than kiss a dude.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2009 11:53 PM

Damn, time for a drink and some Rock Band....maybe that will cheer me up after seeing what just won Best Picture...

Posted by: Jeva at February 22, 2009 11:54 PM

Milk was slow.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:55 PM

Once again America takes it up the ass, thank you Penn.

Posted by: Pookie at February 22, 2009 11:55 PM

Shit. I think India is invading California.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 22, 2009 11:55 PM

What the eff? Every time I reload this page, it redirects me to blackpeoplemeet.com

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at February 22, 2009 11:55 PM

Oh thank heavens, it's over. 'Night, all.

Oh, and Jay, I'm going to put myself out on the limb there with you--Tigger is annoying, dammit!

Posted by: meaux at February 22, 2009 11:55 PM

What the eff? Every time I reload this page, it redirects me to blackpeoplemeet.com

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at February 22, 2009 11:55 PM

It's not accidental. It's a lack of awareness and respect.

Bastard.

But of course I jump and giggle all the time! Didn't you know I'm simultaneously 8 and 60?


I guess Dustin might live to fight another day. Hey, producer got a haircut since the Golden Globes.

11th Puma Rifles!

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 11:57 PM

Props to Sean Penn for his comments.

Posted by: Cindy at February 22, 2009 11:58 PM

Pink, you sure you weren't trying to find blackpeoplemeat.com?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 23, 2009 12:00 AM

He's a kid, Jay. Someday, your kid is going to jump around all willy nilly and mess something up, and your heart will sing just watching the smile on his face. When that day happens, remember Tigger.

Posted by: Cindy at February 23, 2009 12:01 AM

The Academy's obvious indie pandering by drowning Slumdog in practically every award even if they didn't deserve it pissed me off. Hey Academy how about you just not ignore the fuck out of Indies in the categories they honestly deserve next year instead of giving the house away to one fucking film.

Also thanks for shitting on Wall E in sound AND music you dumb fucks.

Posted by: Trollin' at February 23, 2009 12:01 AM

blackpeoplemeat.com

ZING!

Thank you, IE7Pro, you save me from the mess.

Posted by: Jay at February 23, 2009 12:02 AM

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at February 23, 2009 12:04 AM

Is Indie short for Indian, you racist?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 23, 2009 12:05 AM

AMC had it right tonight, playing Patton during the awards. It gave me a fantastic vision of Patton leading a division of Sherman tanks into Hollywood and firing mortar rounds at Kate, Kingsley, Hathaway and that pontificating bastard Penn, all while rolling through an East Indian market area. Fuzzy, warm thoughts.

But at least when Penn calls Rourke his brother I know that the odds of paparazzi getting their asses beat just went up exponentially. When these two start knocking them back, anyone holding a camera near them could be in a bad way.

Posted by: richmac at February 23, 2009 12:06 AM

Wolverine should have totally ended it with some snicky snicky snar action.

Posted by: Captain Steve at February 23, 2009 12:07 AM

Jeez, I'm already reticent to have kids as it is. Don't make it worse!

I better have kids like Pooh and Piglet. I've got good baby karma, dammit! I was a very untroublesome baby! Went to Walt Disney World at seven months old and just said "ohhhh....that's pretty cool. I'm gonna take a nap now if you don't mind".

My hypothetical wife better not curse us both.

Aw hell, I'm just gonna fuckin be Brian Keith with some rambunctious orphans. Ain't gonna be no marriage and children!

Posted by: Jay at February 23, 2009 12:07 AM

Still, I hope I'm not drunk on my own with so much free time to spend with you all next year.

No offense. One Love!

Goodnight!

Posted by: Jay at February 23, 2009 12:12 AM

Wow, a lot of bigots watching the Oscars. I sure as hell didn't, though.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 23, 2009 12:13 AM

And it's been done for, what, 5 minutes now? Thanks everyone, especially, Pooks, for not letting me feel alone...and some chicks, 2 Japanese, I been chatting on the side helped too.

Well, now that my tequila's empty, 6 to 7.4 shots later, and Penn was Awesome and Slumdog Millionair won like i thought it should (though MILK was just remarkably good) her's all i need to say:

America 1 Pookie 0

That's all folks!

Posted by: yocean at February 23, 2009 12:14 AM

Steak sauce.

Posted by: Lucas at February 23, 2009 12:14 AM

Wait...

America (Also ASIAN) 1 Pookie 0

Posted by: yocean at February 23, 2009 12:16 AM

Damn you for not getting shirtless, Jackman.

Posted by: Melody at February 23, 2009 12:21 AM

That "leaked Oscar Winner list" was wrong 14 out of 24. It's all to the good. I polished off most of a bottle of Cab. I got a little bit behind during the boring part round about the sound editing but made up for lost time towards the end. The husband made me share the last of the bottle.

Sean Peen (a typo, but I like it, so it stays), didn't even thank his long suffering wife. What a prick. I hope she wins Best Actress next year and forgets to thank his sorry ass.

Posted by: skippy at February 23, 2009 12:24 AM

Indie = independent film. People who hit the sauce need to chill.

Posted by: Wut at February 23, 2009 12:33 AM

Yeah, that was a tasteless attempt at a joke. I hope everyone here knows what an indie film is.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 23, 2009 12:49 AM

Damn! Am I ever late to the party! I forgot the damn Oscars were on...which may actually have been a good thing as I see some of the comments.

p.s Eyeore was my dude from the Hundred Acre woods. (Did I even spell his name correctly?) Ah well too tired to care now.

Posted by: Four Eyes at February 23, 2009 12:53 AM

Spicoli must have been the shit in Milk if he beat out Marv. Mickey actually made me mist up a bit.

At least Penn didn't have that smug shit smear all over his pie hole like Bill Maher. No one gives a shit about you Bill or your dipshit loser attempts at humor. Just because you took a few shots with your Kodak brownie doesn't make you Orson Welles.

Posted by: bucslim at February 23, 2009 12:53 AM

Most sadly predictable Oscars ever, apart from Sean Penn and the fact that Hugh Jackman was actually legitimately entertaining (and made a sweet Wolverine reference).

But yeah. FAIL on Slumdog.

Posted by: AudioSuede at February 23, 2009 12:57 AM

Actually that list was wrong 15 times out of 24.
I missed the Best Song category.
The list's lack of veracity is to blame for my miscalculation, since I had to consume copious amounts of wine every time it proved to be in error.

Posted by: skippy at February 23, 2009 12:59 AM

Eeyore is the shit. So is Rabbit.


Oscars way more entertaining than usual. But REALLY predictable. I didn't love any of the movies that came out this year, so I don't care that Slumdog swept. I'm just glad Ben Gump was almost completely shut out. Yay!

Posted by: kayla at February 23, 2009 1:03 AM

Oh wow, there's another kayla.

This is my second post in the thread. All the other kayla posts belong to the other kayla.

Posted by: kayla at February 23, 2009 1:05 AM

highlight .... jackman
lowlight ... bill maher
sunlight ... penelope cruz

final answer .....is ...... oscars were better than average this year. chalk it up to jackman and shorter acceptance speeches. if rip van winkle awakened from his 20 year slumber and happened to turn on the oscars he would be wondering when the hell did the u.s.a. got out of the movie business.

Posted by: snake at February 23, 2009 1:28 AM

I thought Pooh would have been the shit. You know, because of his name and all...

Anyway: one of these days Bill Maher is going to swallow his own self importance and then disappear up his own ass.

At least they didn't clog up the last "big three" categories with a truckload of commercials like they usually do. I always thought it was stupid to bloat the last half hour and then try to limit the speeches. Then have the temerity to say the show is boring. The show is not boring, the ads are boring.

Not a bad evening. Not the worst. Not the best. That would have been the 1936 Oscars. Anyone remember that one? What at PAR-TAY!

Posted by: Odnon at February 23, 2009 1:37 AM

Absolutely the WORST Oscar event in history, symbolizing the death of America on every level.

First, the thing was hosted by an Australian, who although apparently a nice fellow, happens to be the most BORING host ever selected in the history of Oscar. The show REQUIRES a comedian host, it is impossible to suffer the lengthy show without interspersing it with levity. Moreover, a comedian host ensures that this narcissistic, self-important, self-obsessed Cult of Celebrity crap will not be taken as seriously as the self-proclaimed Hollywood "gods" would want it to be perceived. Only a lot of sarcasm aimed at these so-called Hollywood "deities" can make any Oscar event a sufferable experience. At a time when America is in full-blown crisis on every level (economy, infrastructure, environment, ethics, etc)., the fact is that Hollywood figures receive far too much attention and veneration (too many award events); receive far more remuneration than they deserve; and that is the primary reason why Joe Public is "tuning out." There is nothing particularly special about the Oscars any longer, since it has become just another tiresome award event in a long litany of these annual self-congratulatory love-fests, in which Hollywood kisses its own ass over and over again, ad nauseam.

Second, we were treated to an event that handed awards to a Spanish supporting actress; a British leading actress; an Irish director; and an Indian film. Is this the Academy Awards or has it de-evolved into the United Nations awards? Has Hollywood simply de-evolved into an entertainment medium controlled by foreign interests? Has it become a sad metaphor of what America itself has become, namely a third-rate, heavily indebted nation that is now nothing more than an unofficial subsidiary of various foreign creditor nations?

Every aspect of the show seemed to be botched, the worst example being the portion to honor dead members of the Hollywood Club. First, they selected a horrible mediocre song, performed by an equally grating singer, then failed to show CLOSE shots of the dead artists. It was near impossible to see who was being honored, let alone read their names. The director who approved that terrible camera-work should be fired and NEVER allowed to work in Hollywood again.

The concept of bringing a bunch of actors together to present awards (Best Actress, Best Actor) was ridiculous. The whole thing felt like a group of PR agents brought together to promote their clients. It felt like a long commercial for a group of actors....and frankly, by that point, had we not suffered MORE than enough commercials promoting the usual bunch of non-essential consumer items? There are valid reasons why, for many years, the Oscars provided film clips of the nominated actors' performances. LET THE PERFORMANCES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES, otherwise it feels like some tedious community forum of narcissistic actors engaged in some kind of self-congratulatory circle-jerk.

A special mention must go out to Bill Maher for a "God, You Really Suck!" award. Yet another self-important Hollywood narcissist, trotting out a promotion for his trite "documentary," aka an airhead polemic for atheism, and it just made you want to scream...."WHEN DO THE COMMERCIALS EVER END???"

Only two segments in the entire show had any appeal: the one when Ben Stiller did a very accurate amusing impression of the oddball, Joaquin Phoenix....and the segment honoring Jerry Lewis, because in honoring Jerry, for one moment, I actually remembered a time when Hollywood still had a certain magic...a time when Hollywood once celebrated the original, epic, and divine, as opposed to "B-Movie" junk (like Slumdog) or cookie- cutter clone crap, that sadly have become the norm....and a time when one could remember that Hollywood once belonged to America, and had not transmogrified into a sad pathetic subsidiary of some international consortium.

Posted by: David Cabot at February 23, 2009 5:35 AM

Just one clarification of my previous post:

I am NOT implying that the films of Jerry Lewis are notably "epic or divine." You can certainly make an argument that they are original though.

Rather he worked during that special era in Hollywood history when the studios (under control of powerful visionaries, like Thalberg, Cohn, Warner, etc), focused upon creating movies that celebrated the "original, epic, and divine." Moreover, he also symbolizes a generation that strongly believed in COMMUNITY SERVICE, the obligation to give back, as opposed to the more modern generations, who so strongly believe in the concept of ENTITLEMENT.

In seeing Jerry Lewis, still fairly vibrant and sending a strong terse message favoring humanitarian action, I was reminded of the old Hollywood, most of its members now dead, buried, and in many cases, forgotten. In view of this particularly dismal Oscar event, the memory of what once was is enough to make any decent person cry.

Posted by: David Cabot at February 23, 2009 5:55 AM

So they finally caved in and gave one to that Winslet creature. I wonder whose cock she sucked to get "recognized."


/disgusted

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 23, 2009 6:30 AM

Oh, and Mr. Cabot, your ideas are intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 23, 2009 6:42 AM

I thought Jackman was lovely, charismatic, and struck just the right tone for this year's Oscars. That being said, my husband was laughing at me all night because I would yell "Are you fucking KIDDING me?" every time Slumdog Millionaire won yet another undeserved award. It was fun to watch, and I agree that the score was terrific (though I actually preferred Benjamin Button's) , but Best Adapted Screenplay? Best Director? It was a good, enjoyable movie, but it simply was not Best Picture material to me. To compare it to No Country for Old Men, for example - it just looks so shallow and trite by comparison. I was really tired of Danny Boyle's beaming head by the end of the show.

Also, I love upsets in general (i.e. Cruz as Best Supporting - I was shocked - and the Japanese film winning over The Class), but Penn winning over Rourke depressed me a little bit. It wasn't an undeserved Oscar, but I would've liked to see Rourke truly have his moment in the sun. I know people were irritated by Penn, but I really appreciated his overtly political speech. As for not thanking his wife, maybe he wanted to focus on people who can't have husbands/wives? Is that giving him too much credit? That being said, I'm going to wager that there weren't too many Commies in that audience. In a Communist revolution, those mofos will be among the first bayonetted in their beds.

Posted by: samantha t at February 23, 2009 7:27 AM

How did I end up on David Cabot's fucking blog?

I was a very untroublesome baby!

Jay, this practically guarantees you a bouncing kidlet.

Posted by: Cindy at February 23, 2009 7:35 AM

Wow, nothing like a great big helping of "OMG THE FOREIGNERS" to get a Monday started right.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 23, 2009 8:45 AM

Wow, nothing like a great big helping of "OMG THE FOREIGNERS" to get a Monday started right.

Just wait for the box office roundup.

Posted by: branded at February 23, 2009 8:50 AM

You are all cordially invited to get the fuck off David Cabot's lawn.

We get it. You didn't like it. No need for a goddamn dissertation.

Posted by: I Love Beets at February 23, 2009 9:10 AM

I would like to know how many of you men who bag on women for being anything other than a broomstick-in-a-gown would hold up under the same level scrutiny. How many of you own six-pack abbs with perfect hair? How many of you could wear a put on a tux and be able to button it over your beer guts? You arrogant fuckers, when was the last time you saw your own feet?

Posted by: Lori at February 23, 2009 9:11 AM

No, Cindy, No! Baby karma! My mom was very amused when we realized my sister had gotten herself to deal with.

I want my quiet middle baby karma honored!

Posted by: Jay at February 23, 2009 9:19 AM

I hate Mondays too Lori.

Posted by: admin at February 23, 2009 9:51 AM

Good luck with that Mr. Jay.

...snicker...

Posted by: Cindy at February 23, 2009 9:54 AM

Mr. Cabot,

I think that you have made a valid point about the Oscars losing the lustre it once had but your reasoning is pretty specious.

I agree that the host could have used a bit more wit. But castigating the winners simply because they are not American smacks of isolationism, a phobia which I think got us in the mess we are in in the first place. Besides it's not the nominees' nationality that the Academy considers in their voting but their work.

I think that you suffer the same ailment that you believe the American public suffers in it's veneration of "the stars" by placing too much emphasis on the awards themselves as though they were olympic medals being vied for by rival nations instead of honors given arbitrarily by a third party.

Posted by: Mr.West at February 23, 2009 11:23 AM

The best cinematography of the night was the triangular composition of Mickey Rourke, forefront, Sparkle Pattindouche, left fill, and Tina Fey, background right, for valiantly squelching the smirk that must have been crying to escape.

Posted by: Stacy D at February 23, 2009 12:48 PM

By the way... if you actually look at the production crew for Slumdog, they're largely Anglo names, and the film is listed as being from UK. The original novel, the cast, and some crew are from India. Just saying. And, last year, as I recall, the 4 actor/actress awards went to people from all different countries as well, no? (ETA: Yes. Tilda Swinton (Scottish [I think]), Javier Bardem (Spanish), Marion Cotillard (French), and Daniel Day-Lewis (Brit).)

Also, didn't Sophia Loren win for Best Actress for a film that was Italian? That was in the early 60s, so... I guess my question is, when was it ever the "American Oscars"? Isn't it supposed to be celebrating excellence in film, not in American film? (Whether it does that or not is a separate question altogether.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 23, 2009 12:57 PM

All this means is that American actors and moviemakers need to step their game up. Represent, fools.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 23, 2009 1:45 PM

"a time when one could remember that Hollywood once belonged to America, and had not transmogrified into a sad pathetic subsidiary of some international consortium."


Posted by: David Cabot at February 23, 2009 5:35 AM

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm positive you didn't intend to, but you've vastly me amused me, David Cabot.

Stay classy!

Posted by: Smokin at February 23, 2009 6:35 PM

i find it hard to believe that i have not seen a single reference to the alan arkin screw up in addressing one of the great actors of our time as ...SEYMOUR PHILIP HOFFMAN. ouch.

Posted by: snake at February 24, 2009 1:36 AM